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| How to distinguish a sexual addict from the rest of the crowd
Posted: 10/7/2007 1:54:45 AM | | The pendullum swings both ways on relationships with people just in it for lustful one night encounters and making up stuff just to get their foot in the door. I've heard for years the general views of society how guys mostly just care about sexual experiences in a relationship, thinking about it nonstop, and women don't. Women think about it and seek it in relationships just as much as guys do. Women tend not to be as vocal about it. And those people are all going to continue through relationships as such until they wake up and realize that the connection they are truly seeking to make pales even the most erotic night they could ever have with that significant other. Some people become aware of stuff pretty quickly while others have to run into the experience a few times until they truly wake up and realize what they were doing. It takes time for most relationships to be truly successful where both people can let down their guard and be comfortable with a true connection to anyone. Part of the problem is people not willing to accept that it takes both people to make a relationship work and it takes both people to end it. Most people, as common practice of society spend their time playing the blame game instead of accepting that they may have provoke the negative reaction in the relationship. There is always a cause and effect to any situation in this world, every effect is a cause to another in a never ending chain of events called life. When the negativity is first noticed in the relationship, the person that notices it usually tries to reject it. They don't agree with it because it goes against their beliefs of the other person. Even if it's just one bad moment, like they were having a bad day, that person's whole essence of being is pretty much summarized by that one instant and the person who noticed it spends the rest of the time looking for any reasonable excuse to break off the relationship without looking like they were the "bad" person. We are all a sum of who were are our whole life, not just one or two "bad" moments that come along in everyone's life once in a while. There were times that you, yourself were not exactly a "good" person and they may have just kept it to themselves. So don't be quick to judge any situation, especially if you don't know all the details, and you probably don't. If something "bad" did happen, don't feel guilty about it... have your regrets, fix what was "bad" and move on. Feeling guilty is basically saying you messed up and you can't or are not worthy of a second chance. You are not who you were even five minutes ago. It happened, let it go, and change as you move into the future. No one ever makes much progress dwelling in the past. If you truly follow your hearts (not listening to what's logical, safe, what you "must" do to maintain the relationship, or what someone else has tried to tell you what to do) in any relationship or encounter, you will find your way just fine. I leave you to it. Hope this helps out. Best wishes all of you =) | |
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| How to distinguish a sexual addict from the rest of the crowd
Posted: 10/7/2007 4:21:25 AM | It's important to point out that there is a tendency to simply disbelieve things that are
counter to our understanding. Most men like woman are stuck in a financiual rut in their attempt to pay their (credit card) bills and are thus married to a job or other (legal or not) occupation to serve their financial masters. Sex addiction is much like credit card addiction. For most of us if something comes for free, you feel obligated to take advantage of the free sample and not look at the consequences. Truth is most men don't get real sex not even once a month, so when an opportunity comes about they act stupid. Most of us are programmed to do what we do. Sometimes we need to look at ways to deprogram our bad habits. The best way is just simply to bring it out into the open via communication. One can't borrow his or her way out of debt, you also can't control your urge to have sex by having more sex. | |
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| How to distinguish a sexual addict from the rest of the crowd
Posted: 10/7/2007 2:50:21 PM | | It's all a choice, you can either choose to be a sheep and follow the crowd with their beliefs on how you should be, what to say, think, do as a vast majority of society... and spend your time laughing and making sarcastic remarks at other people basically saying "Hey look over there at that person's flaws. Oh my... don't look over here because I'm really just insecure about myself..." or you can declare your own beliefs and who you are. Everyone has "flaws" stuff about them that other people don't find agreeable. Anyone could spend all day sitting there pointing out the "flaws" on anyone, making a big deal about small things like maybe their nose is too pointy or eyes is too beady, tearing people down so they can sleep better at night and not have to look at themselves in a mirror. None of the negative comments are needed, and the person doing that is only really fooling themself. | |
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| How to distinguish a sexual addict from the rest of the crowd
Posted: 5/1/2009 8:33:46 AM | Good Posting FrenchPoodle.
Pardon my french, but guys that bang girls on the 1st date/meeting deserved to have their wallet robbed.
If a guy doesn't take you out dancing, movies, walks, etc and always seems to be at your door on Saturdays and not prime time Fridays, then why in the heck are you hanging on to him. Either he is a sex addict, or he just needs time to heal or learn how to be single and happy within himself. Why mess up his head and yours and continue.
On the other hand, you have a very good point.
Why do girls throw themselves on the 1st date to try to please their man.
It screws guys up. They meet, and yes the want sex, but some will wait until the 3rd date or even much longer if a little bit of chase is there.
But thesedays, you hug or kiss a girl and she wants to take you home to her Mom and start a relationship right away. I agree some girls are not independent enough to be single.
Me and a few of my buddies are amazed how fast a girl will say those magic word" I LOVE YOU" when you have only been out on a few dates.
Girls gotta remember, guys heads are screwed up from past relationships and friendship is much better to start with or without sex and then get into a full blown relationship.
Let him say those "I LOVE YOU" words first and then if he doesn't then its probably a good idea to move on!
Girls: Just because you gave yourself to a guy doesn't mean that you love him or he loves you, especially when you did it with him on the 1st, 2nd and even 3rd date. Give the guy some room and some chase before you commit or give, and he will respect you much much more.
A word of advice I always take:
Be happy! Make yourself happy at 1st, then when you are completely happy and content with your life, then have someone add to your happyness. | |
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| How to distinguish a sexual addict from the rest of the crowd
Posted: 5/1/2009 10:13:23 AM | A real man likes sex but likes a woman in other ways too, like warmth and comfort, so that it's not all about sex. But...when she's really horny and needs sex, a man's pilot light should be ready to light up, rise to the challenge and plunge into her at any moment.
Is it an "addiction" if BOTH people in a couple enjoy sex? Or would you just classify that as "madly in love"? Maybe the real issue is sexual promiscuity, those "roaming eyes" that keep looking elsewhere. Sounds like more of an attention-deficit-disorder thing. If people can stay monogamous and yet really into each other sexually, I don't see any problem with having lots of sex. | |
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| How to distinguish a sexual addict from the rest of the crowd
Posted: 6/25/2009 2:24:19 PM | Careful everybody, possibilities are great that a "Blooming" sex addict may have just entered here. BUT! Couldn't a lot of this so called problem be recognized as an affliction to those of us whom still feel like we are still "legends in our own minds" and simply with aging maybe, or lack of self esteem.....feel like we are losing some of our charms?
Aging does seem to be our greatest predator, but even as a good person....time dictates a lot of how we change inwardly toward receiving rejection.
Self esteem gets shattered when we fail to keep ourselves on top of who we really are by taking so many overheard comments of others, way too much to heart. Sure, many bad things have befallen us. It's called LIFE! I have purposely chosen to remember well, all of the bad...and mix it thoroughly with the good, for a finely blended, wiser person who in fact, has many stories to tell of a properly enriched life, with no regrets.
As far as regrets....the only ones I possess, are because of the chances I never took, and I'm not talking about jumping out of a plane, or bungee jumping. That's just not my cup of Earl Grey. I mean many of the common sense things I could have done to perpetuate a richer bank account type of thing for the family's sake. Often I've regretted not buying my mountain home, but that's still on my "Yet" list.
Sorry for rambling on. I guess the best point I could make here is....before you open your mouth, make sure your brain is in gear, AND....don't forget...."When you point the finger at someone, First be sure, because you're pointing three back at yourself. Second, Zen spoke ......."If you cannot find happiness from within....where then, do you expect to go in search of it?
This is a very harsh summation of today's American society, but let's keep it as cheeky humor, and just laugh it off, because we know none of us fit the mold(hmmm), don't we? Microwave society? Tabloid mentality? Fast food dating?  | |
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| How to distinguish a sexual addict from the rest of the crowd
Posted: 7/23/2009 1:00:26 AM | English is not her first language. That has nothing to do with her level of intelligence and she doesn't deserve the trashing some of you are giving her for grammar and spelling.
Women are as guilty as us men are.
Addiction is a human condition, not a gender condition. | |
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so if im on a date and a man buys me an icream then he will expect sex with me to pay for it LMHOFF 
this ppost is sooo funny 
