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| would you date a nice guy if hes had very little money
Posted: 9/23/2007 12:24:56 PM | | Better head for higher ground, the BS is getting pretty deep! Oh, they all say they'd date the guy... They'd meet for coffee once, look him up & down like a c.p.a. then tell themself's " I didn't get the right chemistry from this guy ". Tell him he's such a nice guy & its off to the biggest bread winner they think there looks will get them. | |
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| would you date a nice guy if hes had very little money
Posted: 9/23/2007 2:50:30 PM | ^^^^^^ If you're getting a NO response, it ain't $$. Need to look a little more closely in that mirror, Bunky. I had a great two year relationship once with a disabled coal miner. We had ONE date a month on the third, the day his check came (sometimes BurgerKing), the rest of the time it was dinner at my place, or his. Hikes, gardening, building, sitting on the porch, watching TV, "etc." -- it did NOT end because of money, or lack of it (he went back to his ex).
OPie, any man that wants a woman who can be wowed by cash pretty much deserves what he gets. . . . Keep lookin' -- some sweetheart will show up who doesn't give a rat's azz. I know far fewer women who care about $$$ than who don't.
Good luck. | |
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| would you date a nice guy if hes had very little money
Posted: 9/23/2007 3:14:11 PM | I never understand why people are so concerned about money in a relationship. Although when it involves marriage you both certainly must have the same financial goals in mind, but that has nothing to do with how you feel about someone or should it be a precursor to meeting them, becoming friends, dating them, or perhaps even falling in love with them.
Just my two cents!  | |
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| would you date a nice guy if hes had very little money
Posted: 9/23/2007 3:38:26 PM | Money has never been a deciding issue for me, hell, I'm a single parent, why judge a person for not having what I don't have. I did have a long distance relationship that went bad simply because he kept telling me he was moving as soon as he had the money, but never tried any harder than a part time job at a fast-food restaraunt. A person has to put some effort into their lives to change them, and he was waiting for God only knows what to drop some money in his lap.
As far as WOWing a girl on a budget, just be creative. I'd much rather be with someone who was honest about his situation that with someone that lied and got beyond his means to impress me, then let me know the truth later on. To wow a girl, pay attention to her likes and dislikes, and take your cues from there. (And whatever you do, don't ask her out and "forget" your wallet. Some girls will be polite, and some won't, but none of us are impressed.) Some of the best dates I've ever been on were doing silly things that didn't cost a dime, but we had fun! Good luck to your friend! | |
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| would you date a nice guy if hes had very little money
Posted: 9/23/2007 3:47:55 PM | Ha ha ha! Some of you guys (and I do mean GUYS!) crack me up. Some of my absolute favorite dates have been at a park, strolling around, holding hands, watching the fountains. Didn't cost a damned thing. It was all about the person I was with.
And to the men that think we won't date the nice guy but will chase the one with the fat wallet? You sooooooo need to get a clue. Just because you're a 'nice' guy, doesn't make you the 'right' guy. Don't get bitter. You just need to meet the 'right' nice girl. | |
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| would you date a nice guy if hes had very little money
Posted: 9/23/2007 3:55:44 PM | This is a very complex question.
1) Very few women stay with men for the long haul if the man does not out earn her. A male attorney might date a female waitress. A female attorney dating a male waiter? Yeah, I didn't think so either. It happens sometimes, but it's not all that common unless the woman is disproportionately less attractive than the man. A very good looking man can be poor and find a woman who will accept his lack of financial stability.
2) Financial stability is often a sign of other positive and desirable traits. A person who has his financial life in order, and didn't inherit it, probably has shown some kind of discipline or dedication to a specific trade or skill set. It shows the person knows how to set and go after and get certain goals.
3) Every man knows his career choice and his personal financial wealth is a strong indicator of his potential dating options. An engineer or attorney or certified public accountant has a much better chance of having expanded dating options than a waiter or a bus driver or a factory worker. The exception again being if the person with the lower paying job is just out of this world good looking. It starts when you are young. The kid with all the "good toys" is popular. The kid in high school who gets a car first gets laid. The kid in college who can afford to not have to work to pay tuition and joins a frat gets laid. The kid who graduates college and gets a high powered job and makes good money gets laid. All men are taught from a young age that money absolutely matters in how you are treated. It's more important than good looks, although good looks are a very close second. If you are a guy and you aren't getting laid, the some of the first bits of advice you'll get from older more experienced guys, amongst other things, is to get a better job.
4) If you have a large gap in socioeconomic status, usually you have very little in common with the person for the long haul. People who make about the same money and have about the same education and come from about the same kind of families have a ton of common ground to understand each other. Men often care less about this gap than women. The primary reason being that men don't really care about the social approval of who they date as long as the person is attractive and not overweight. Women however are very concerned about the approval of their friends, family and coworkers. Women are much more picky about these things and their list of requirements is longer and higher.
5) Women are liars. Of course many to most will say money is not the biggest issue for them. Because it makes them look bad in public to say it. In fact, the discussion of money at all in public is considered taboo. But rest assured, if you pay less attention to what women say and focus on what they actually do, what do they do? They go for guys with money. In fact, they usually go for guys who make more money than them. Some don't even realize they are doing it. Women are biologically driven to find the best providers/protectors for her potential future children. That's just human nature, it's no different that men are biologically driven to think about sex all the time.
6) Context and age matter. A young guy at 18 who is still in college is not expected to have a ton of money. It is important that he shows the signs of someone who is probably going to have a stable and successful career. An older guy at 65 is probably going to be headed towards retirement and a fixed income. No one is going to expect him to be out there and working 80 hour weeks anymore to bring home the bacon. I'd say the sweet spot is somewhere between 25-45 where money matters the most in who you get to date. That's the age when a man is in his prime earning years. Conversely women at that age are probably very concerned at a man's earning power too.
So for men, it's pretty damn simple. If you don't look like George Clooney, get the best damn job you can and hit the gym until you feel like falling over. America has widespread sexual liberation since feminism took a foothold in the country. But that doesn't mean the sex was distributed equally. A small percentage of men get to sleep with the majority of desirable women. The common factor for them is often good looks, social prestige, fame and money, but mostly money is enough to get you into the club. Do the math, if you want to get laid more often and have more dates and more options, get a better job. It's that simple. | |
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| would you date a nice guy if hes had very little money
Posted: 9/23/2007 4:00:03 PM | | truth is, at this age, we all want alittle financial security. So if a guy doesn't have money, it's not about wowwing me, it's about how are we going to live down the road. Should she be finanically secure? Yes, but if she isn't, the standard isn't the same. No easy answer to this one. | |
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| would you date a nice guy if hes had very little money
Posted: 9/23/2007 4:13:28 PM | I think if a woman is looking for a husband he should at least hold a decent job and have some money. Now you dont have to be bill gates but get real, what girl wants to provide for their bfs. Part o being a man is having a career, it helps define us and we are instinictively programed to protect and provide for our family.
Ideall you want someone with a good job and treats you right. I dont' think there will be many women here with a guy happy with his job at macdonalds and takes his dates on busses and has no desire to be anymore than a macdonald's employee. No matter how nice he is, eventually he will have to provide for you, might as well be a single parent then. | |
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| would you date a nice guy if hes had very little money
Posted: 9/23/2007 4:44:02 PM | anyone noticed the words nice guy in the question?
yes he can work in a macdonald but imagine the relationship in comparison to one with a not so nice guy!
the thing is.. he doesnt have to work in macdonalds forever does it?
ANYTHING is possible! and to have a happy healthy relationship to boot.. what more can a person want?
heartsurgeon.. this whole bs about looks and money is just that.............bs
and a strong indicator of a person's personality if he or she has this attitude/outlook | |
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| would you date a nice guy if hes had very little money
Posted: 9/23/2007 4:47:31 PM | of course..that is all I seem to attract! 
Seriously, I do not have a problem wtih it, as am not independently wealthy myself, but there has to be give and take. You both should come up with ideas that cost little to no money verus the one without as much money expecting the other to make all the plans and pay for everything (personal experience speaking and not in a good way!) and hopefully both parties are working to better their financial situation. | |
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| would you date a nice guy if hes had very little money
Posted: 9/23/2007 4:50:51 PM | The question *should be, would I date a guy who had very little vision or imagination? With very little empathy or compassion? That answer would be No.
Yes, very little money (for a solid reason, like: just finished school, starting a business, raising kids, overcoming a health challenge, traveling, charity work, etc.) can be the result of proper priorities. It just depends upon the future you are creating!
Do anything, but please do not bore me w/pretentions of money or anything else!!
In Seattle, one often runs into snooty folks w/ money who are ever so dull! (Is this true elsewhere, as well?) They wouldn't be caught dead w/ anyone who does not contribute to their all-important yuppie lifestyle.
I was always bored by these folks, even in high school when I had very little earning power myself. It's called: a lack of imagination! if a person can only determine the worth of something by a $ sign or the opinions / envy of others! Think for yourself, already!
Do people know who they are, aside from their money? Can a person accurately evaluate their worth in terms of what they are in fact contributing to the world?
If you know who you are & where you're headed, you won't be an idiot about money or anything else (time, health, etc.) which is in short supply. That being said...
IMO, it's passion, integrity, and directing oneself toward a goal - as well as an inquiring mind - which make a person a worthwhile partner. You have to have imagination, vision, and plenty of compassion - to construct a life which is about more than just immediate, material comfort!
These things are the real wealth, and seem to be in vanishingly rare supply. Does anyone else see this? | |
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| would you date a nice guy if hes had very little money
Posted: 9/23/2007 4:54:38 PM | | All he needs to do is be creative find free stuff that can be cosidered romantic. One of my best relationships was with a man who made very little money and after paying bills didnt have much lef but we were together for 2 years. but he always made me feel special and found really cute creative ways to be romantic.. so it can be done and every woman isnt out there looking for the next Bill Gates | |
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| would you date a nice guy if hes had very little money
Posted: 9/23/2007 5:12:54 PM | Realistically, money helps. It keeps stress levels down, and makes life that much more pleasurable. With that being said... would I date a guy with very little money? Depends on why he doesn't have money... I know this was originally about a guy with child support. How shallow would I be if I didn't because he was being responsible and taking care of his kids. Duh! I'm perfectly healthy and capable... and quite determined when I put my mind into it. If I want something bad enough, I'd get it... don't need a guy to get it for me.
If I was with a guy (with or w/o money) the qualities are still the same. Be genuine, sincere, truthful, caring. Sweeping me off my feet is so simple... the little things, lightest touch, the sweetest thought, and I'm yours... How you do it is completely up to you...
I respect a guy for trying and following through with what he wants and needs to do. If he fails, try again. If he has passion for what he does, and it brings home pebbles, so be it. I can be supportive in anything because I believe in him. I admit though I would need someone capable of saving money... I sure as heck can't... I'm a total impulse buyer with self control! So I either need someone who's frugal or a money whiz... Can't be a free spender like me... otherwise we'll never be able to retire!
Now if a guy didn't have money because he wasn't trying, well that's a whole different story. Having big dreams, and planning big schemes, and trying to get the big hustle is not my idea of trying. Same goes with a guy with a lot of money and no ambition or drive. I just don't see myself being with someone who looks down at the world because he feels money makes him better than the rest. (Yawn! I don't want to hear about you money... It only lowers my opinion of you. If you're trying to impress me... that ain't gonna do it!)  | |
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| would you date a nice guy if hes had very little money
Posted: 9/23/2007 5:13:43 PM | Well OP, the last I guy I dated on a serious basis not only had NO money, but he also had no material possessions of any kind, no car, no driver's license, no house , no career, no education and of course, no money....he was a janitor when I met him, and later on he got a job as a pizza maker. Hope that answers your question, no matter what the jaded might say.....and no, I'm not desperate either....crazy and weird perhaps, but certainly not desperate. To each his own.
Love and peace  | |
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| would you date a nice guy if hes had very little money
Posted: 9/23/2007 5:23:18 PM | The bottom line is this,
you either want someone for who they are
or what they have
be it a male or a female.
whatever your priorities are,
has everything to do with who you want as a partner.
When anyone here gives their take on it,
just because it isnt in line with your experiences doesnt make that
person untruthful or saying what you think sounds good
I pity those who are all about the $$
I have had both, give me the man who loves me
we will work out the rest of the details.....together. | |
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| would you date a nice guy if hes had very little money
Posted: 9/23/2007 5:47:36 PM | Should she be finanically secure? Yes, but if she isn't, the standard isn't the same
Wrong. A woman NEEDS to be held to the same exact standard. That is what equality is all about. It's not a one way street. | |
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| would you date a nice guy if hes had very little money
Posted: 9/23/2007 6:16:32 PM | Re: whitetigeress's post to heartsurgeon.. "this whole bs about looks and money is just that.............bs and a strong indicator of a person's personality if he or she has this attitude/outlook"
Kudos whitetigeress!!!  I agree with you completely. Seems to me that heartsurgeon has been a little jaded or has some experience with golddiggers. There appears to a big chip sitting on his young shoulder. (Notice he is also only 28. He's still wet behind the ears IMHO to be making such comments about women, especially mature women.)
I am a kind, intelligent, loving person but these kinds of offensive posts from people like heartsurgeon just make me sick. I was one of the people that "had the car in high school, and the new car in college." I didn't have to work in college either. I was blessed and fortunate and never once took for granted what I was given. Money was not important. It was just something that paid the bills. I met and married a teacher for goodness sake. So again, money was not an issue as we know our poor teachers and educators are completely under paid.
I'm now a single Mom with 3 boys. The oldest has severe special needs. No amount of money in the world can fix his problems. So heartsurgeon ...your attitude completely sucks. Do you really think that if I was such a heartless, cold blooded, money hungry, golddigger that God would have given a person like me a son with special needs? Heck no! He gives those children to the beautiful, kind, loving, warm, compassionate people in the world who appreciate more out of life than what money can buy. The best things in life are FREE!!!
The only thing I found to be appropriate in his post is that we (women and men) all must strive to to be who and what we want to be. To have goals and achieve them and to realize that sometimes our choice of career can potentially limit our choice in mates. But to dare just make a blanket, sexist comment to imply that all beautiful women are simply after men with money is completely inappropriate. To me, it is just a display of his own immaturity and insecurity.
I am now breathing...these kinds of attitudes wrile me up folks. Sorry!!! | |
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| would you date a nice guy if hes had very little money
Posted: 9/23/2007 6:27:51 PM | "would you date a nice guy if hes had very little money"
No. Women only date jerks with very little money.
Nice guys have to be financially well off.
Life's not fair. LOL
I think most women have dated a nice guy, who was more or less broke sometime in his life.
I used to sell my blood for gas money, long time ago. I had a girlfriend at the time who said she absolutely loved orange juice and plain crackers for dinner.
I have money for gasoline now. And my girlfriend and I never eat crackers.
Life works out. Women know this, too. | |
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| would you date a nice guy if hes had very little money
Posted: 9/23/2007 6:40:46 PM |
heartsurgeon.. this whole bs about looks and money is just that.............bs
and a strong indicator of a person's personality if he or she has this attitude/outlook
Tigress, you actually read HeartSurgeon's post? ALL of it? Sheesh you got more stamina than I have.
I dated a guy who (later) told me he had no money and therefore it was up to me to pay for my half. He told me this during the date, as he had brought me to a nice restaurant and ordered the most expensive item on the menu. (And then complained it was lousy) I later told him that was very backhanded of him, and he said he can't afford it. I had previously invited him out to go to the beach, with a picnic lunch, but he turned it down.
There are plenty of things to do on dates without spending too much money. Personally, I prefer to spend as little as possible. When I am taken to a restaurant, I never order more than my date; if all he gets is an appetizer, then I do the same. If he ordered a sandwich, my order would be in a similar category or cost.
After a few dates, if I decide I wanted to keep seeing him, I pay for his way at times. It's simply a respect for others, not keeping tabs.
I would definitely date a guy without a lot of money, but being creative and fair to your date would make it or break it for me. | |
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| would you date a nice guy if hes had very little money
Posted: 9/23/2007 7:18:14 PM | Janice
wow nice to see someone honest..you got it girl... people dont just abandon the man always holding the bag...meaning if a woman met a man on first date she would either go dutch or let him pay, how many woman actually buy the man his first dinner or movie etc..i am smiling..but to many people say they are this or that when they are not in the least..chemistry espescially here..is looks nothing more..how can u tell by a picture but woman are just as visual as men.. but deny it..love your honesty Janice..wish everyone else is as honest..espescialy when they go few extra pounds..laughing
the other thing woman say, is i am understanding..yet like now some may be reading this email the wrong way.. and do you when u get a email that you are not sure of..ask him how he means it..or do u just stop emailing? i have found most just stop..some people are good at the written word others not so..
Digger | |
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| would you date a nice guy if hes had very little money
Posted: 9/23/2007 7:52:27 PM | | Depends on why the guy has no money and for how long he will be in that situation whether or not I date him. I'm too old and worked too hard in my life to spend what's left trying to pretend I'm happy with sitting around a house eating cheapie meals. | |
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| would you date a nice guy if hes had very little money
Posted: 9/23/2007 8:05:00 PM | | i live day to day with very little money so it would not bother me in the slightest. a date to wow a lady can range from a walk to the beach to a picnic of sandwiches and cordial on a grassy bank somewhere. the purpose of dating is to get to know the person, if they arent impressed by these small gestures then they r money hungry trolls and not worth a mans time | |
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