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| Menopause Advise.
Posted: 9/24/2007 5:41:57 PM | Thank u so much for the Estroven advice....perhaps that is why my fiancee left me for my younger sister & recently proposed to her on his early morning radio show...
oh well life goes on anyway.....as the saying goes one mans trash is another mans treasure..... | |
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| Menopause Advise.
Posted: 9/24/2007 5:48:39 PM | OP.....There seems to be a definite loss of interest on your g/f 's behalf, but
I'm not sure menopause can be blamed in this case.
Perimenopause usually begins in the mid to late 40's, sometimes in the late 30's.
Perimenopause is simply setting the stage for what is about to come.
Menopause can and does last for years.
I consider myself fortunate in that I breezed right through menopause.
Periods ceased and occasional hot flashes......DONE...
HOORAY!!! I'm glad it's over. FREEDOM RINGS....
Every woman experiences different symptoms with menopause.
Most common symptoms of menopause:
Depression
Hot Flashes
Sweats
Loss of interest in sex.
Loss of intimacy
Weight gain
Migraine headaches
Short term memory loss
Attitude | |
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| Menopause Advise.
Posted: 9/24/2007 5:53:44 PM | Going through menopause wreaks havoc on your memory, your moods, your sex drive, and your overall persona.
You go through boughts of hysteria, crying, and depression. I know the drill. I went through it myself for 24 months. Your S/O "recoils" in frustration and is questioning "who is this person??" You have to have the covers "off" because you're hot, now the covers have to be on in 10 seconds because you're "cold." Believe you me, I know.
If he loves you enough, he'll research menopause and be there day and night for you until you go through what is natural for a woman to have to endure in order to mature into a beautiful woman, as I am.
Just like you would endure your 60 year old guy wanting to buy a cherry red porsche.
Guys go through their own "menopause" beginning at age 5o...then they want the 'vette or the beemer..same with menopause. We all go crazy at some point in our lives.
I just try to handle my "nuttiness" with logic and a realistic attitude.
Sans | |
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| Menopause Advise.
Posted: 9/24/2007 9:37:49 PM | OPie ~~ like everything else about men/women: each one is different. My mother had an easy time. I was busy having Graves Disease, and since the symptoms are similar, I couldn't really tell. When I came out on the other end of Graves Disease the symptoms were gone. My periods ended two years later.
On the other hand, I've had friends who'd go grocery shopping, and end up sitting in their car in the parking lot for two hours, crying.
Take 'em one at a time, and pray for the luck of the draw.
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| Menopause Advise.
Posted: 9/25/2007 7:44:37 AM | | Believe me when i say I tried everything I could think of to hang in there. Quite simply she sent off clear vibes she didn't want me around anymore. | |
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| Menopause Advise.
Posted: 9/25/2007 9:36:26 AM | | OMG! They don't call HRT "anti-b**** pills" for no reason. I was in peri-menopause when I had my hyst about 7 years ago. My ex would tell you it was like living with a witch on crack. And with the distance of a day or so I could see that I was being b****y and unreasonable, but at that moment you just needed to agree with and support me or get out of range. And that was just the emotional aspect. The physical signs could be down right painful... I thought I had cancer or a serious heart problem. After the hyst it was several years before the doc found a HRT that seemed to work best for me. Pre- and post-hyst I tried Estroven and other natural approaches and they didn't work for me but I still fully support it for others. If a woman cannot take HRT or prefers to go the herbal/holistic route, I believe they should do whatever they believe is best for them. | |
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| Menopause Advise.
Posted: 9/25/2007 9:58:32 AM | I am 50 and have not yet gone through menopause. Still get my period regular as clockwork, no hot flashes, night sweats, definitely no problem with the libido! But I must be in peri-menopause because a while back, I came unglued on my best friend. I had been going through a lot of stress, with my job, my brother's illness, grandson facing possible surgery, MEN. And the straw that broke the camel's back was that she lied to me about something that I would otherwise find rather trivial. But since it added to my already overloaded stress, I just let loose! I was a crazy woman!! I yelled at her and used language I normally do not. I went back and apologized to her about 3 hours later. She wouldn't speak to me. It's been 5 months now, and although I have stopped in to see her, she refuses to call, doesn't email me or text or anything that we used to do on a regular basis. She told me that I was terrible for doing that to a friend, and she would need time to get over it. Well, she has cut me off completely and turned a couple of other friends from me also. This is someone I have known for over 20 years. When I get on insurance with my new job, I will definitely be going to the dr. and getting advice about how to handle things, should anything like this ever arise again.
To get back on topic... I would say YES, menopause changes woman. But I agree, how they handle it is up to THEM. I for one do not enjoy being a *****. And if I can do something to ward off symptoms, and keep me calmer, to save my relationships, I am all for it. I have a hard enough time finding a man, I sure don't want to lose one because of menopause. | |
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| Menopause Advise.
Posted: 10/8/2007 1:42:54 AM | Sanschele said: " Yes, we do. I went through menopause at 38. I'm now 49..."
PLEASE DON'T EVER, EVER SPEAK FOR ME AGAIN... I did not give you my permission to do so... I am a post-menapausal woman of 51 & in going through the process had not one night sweat, no crying jags, no lack of or decrease in sexual desire, no depression, nor the first mood swing ( go F YOURSELF...jk...lol). My menapause was nothing more than a gradual cessation of my cycle & it has all been good.
No two women (or people) are alike, we have different dreams, desires, wants, needs & yes even body functions...so don't stereotype...PLEASE... it only shows ignorance....
Cata | |
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| Menopause Advise.
Posted: 10/8/2007 5:19:41 AM | Do women really change that much when menopause starts?
Ah, yes.
Just like any age/ order of things. I do think additude and knowledge go a long way in making the changes go smoother.
Like anything in life...........sink or learn to swim! | |
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| Menopause Advise.
Posted: 10/8/2007 9:46:05 PM | [But I must be in peri-menopause because a while back, I came unglued on my best friend. I had been going through a lot of stress, with my job, my brother's illness, grandson facing possible surgery, MEN. And the straw that broke the camel's back was that she lied to me about something that I would otherwise find rather trivial. But since it added to my already overloaded stress, I just let loose! I was a crazy woman!! I yelled at her and used language I normally do not. I went back and apologized to her about 3 hours later. She wouldn't speak to me. It's been 5 months now, and although I have stopped in to see her, she refuses to call, doesn't email me or text or anything that we used to do on a regular basis. She told me that I was terrible for doing that to a friend, and she would need time to get over it. Well, she has cut me off completely and turned a couple of other friends from me also. This is someone I have known for over 20 years.]
I know this is a bit off topic, but I wanted to respond to this.
BDRT, please don't take this the wrong way, but it sounds to me like you had a good reason to be annoyed with your friend. You seemed to be going through a lot at the time of your blowup and she lied to you (in my opinion, real friends don't lie to each other). Ok so you blew up, you also apologized. If she were a real friend to you, she should have been gracious enough to accept your apology especially when you say you don't usually act this way. I can't help but wonder were you always the giver in this friendship? I would be willing to bet that you were. You may or may not be going through perimenopause, but I think your friend should be more understanding and forgiving and if she isn't, that is her problem not yours. Of course do take care of yourself to relieve stress and any symptoms, but don't be too hard on yourself either. Just a thought. | |
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| Menopause Advise.
Posted: 10/8/2007 9:51:57 PM | [Every woman experiences different symptoms with menopause.
Most common symptoms of menopause:
Depression
Hot Flashes
Sweats
Loss of interest in sex.
Loss of intimacy
Weight gain
Migraine headaches
Short term memory loss
Attitude ]
Let's not forget insomnia. I have been going through this for about 10 years now and I haven't slept more than 5 hours straight in all that time. Menopause and perimenopause can for some women be a very difficult experience. My sister's hot flashes would get so bad her glasses would steam up! She would stand out on the deck in below zero weather in the middle of night in her jammies just to cool off. I've had a few hot flashes and it is not pleasant. She tells me I'll have to give up wearing turtle neck sweaters and opt for tank tops and layers. Oh well. I appreciate all the advice as I am going through it myself, but I am still basically a happy person. I just joined a gym and will be working out to take care of myself since HRT is not option for me. I can't wait for the monthly thing to go away. That is something to celebrate! | |
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| Menopause Advise.
Posted: 10/8/2007 9:56:41 PM | | My last long term was midway through it and ill tell u and all guys out there treat your woman like u want to be treated and if she becomes irrational beyond the typical mood swings run like hell just dont add oil to the fire or it becomes quite uncomfortable | |
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| Menopause Advise.
Posted: 10/8/2007 10:21:37 PM | My advice is to read as much as you can about menopause as the misinformation here is amazing. Even most general practioners know little about bio identical hormone replacement therapy and most doctors will prescribe hormones in a brain toxic overdose as they are not familiar with the gradual way the body should regain the balance of optimum hormone levels. What most women do not understand is that yes the libido wanes and any woman who says otherwise knows nothing about molecular biology or forgets her 20-35 years in life.
One of the best books to read on menopause is The Schwarzbein Principal by Dr. Schwarzbein she is an expert in insulin control, menopause and anti aging and this book will dispell a whole load of misinformation I am reading in this thread.
Hormone balance should be requisite in medical care fields as largest portion our society begins to head over the hill of over 50, our generation, this would allow women and men to retain optimum health and sex lives as well as mental acuity until death. Andropause and menopause symptoms can not only be alleviated but can be balanced in such a way that you can experience youthful vitality till death and look good to boot.
lizzy O you mentioned sleep disturbance ....
Melatonin is a good option for sleep as it is a natural hormone. Our pineal gland loses its ability to produce this hormone and we begin to get less and less sleep. Read about melatonin before you decide to take it and you will be surprised by not only its affectiveness but it is also an anti aging hormone and it really works for getting a good nights rest.
Get the goods on all the nutritional gains thru menopause and for anti aging and balancing all hormones and you will give yourself the best edge on enjoying aging and looking great too . | |
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| Menopause Advise.
Posted: 10/9/2007 4:16:43 PM | HRTs are not what they are cracked up to be they can cause breast cancer among other nasty things and the flashes are just terrible feeling.
Understanding and not drawing attention to them really helps... Blowing on her is good just don't do it so the world sees... YOU can call it loveconditioning. Her moods could be a reflection from you too. You don't understand and you show it she feels that and it spirals downward.... Kisses, hugs and understanding and even ice... Rubbing ice will stop a hot flash in it's tracks and can be fun....
 | |
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| Menopause Advise.
Posted: 10/9/2007 4:38:56 PM | | I went through it 6 years ago with no HRT. It seems like every woman has to "go through" it sooner or later, whether it's because they choose to not take HRT or because they've been on it for years and their Dr. recommends a break from it. The symptoms were terrible the first year or two but tolerable after that. I think that at the time, if I was irritable I chalked it up to not getting any sleep between the night sweats and insomnia. OP.....one thing that I've learned is that people will ultimately do whatever they really want to do. If they don't want to do something, they'll find excuses not to, and if they really do want something they'll move mountains to achieve that goal. Don't give up! Throw that one back and cast your line again! | |
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| Menopause Advise.
Posted: 10/9/2007 6:05:17 PM | lizzyO,
You are absolutely right. Insomnia plays a major role in menopause.
I knew I was forgetting (it's that short term memory loss thing...lol)
one of the more common symptoms. Thanks! | |
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| Menopause Advise.
Posted: 10/10/2007 1:26:26 PM |  dude ..as fast as you can do not look back...
I feel for you dude...been through that mess my self...and boy howdy can they change..like 360 degreese...but I will tell you this, there are some naturel hebs that help...dont know the names of them...but my mom mentioned it.....my ex was to far over the edge to help her...alll I can tell you is watch your back and always sleep with one eye open( might wanna sleep with your close on too) | |
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| Menopause Advise.
Posted: 10/10/2007 2:53:32 PM | See how it varies from woman to woman? Some females are saying that hot flashes are uncomfortable. I thought a flaming (and I don't mean 'gay') alien was going to burst out of my chest!  | |
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| Menopause Advise.
Posted: 10/10/2007 11:15:05 PM | It's just awful -- in my humble opinion, of course.
I'm in the peri-menopause stage myself right now. Have been for a few years, I think. It's been slowly getting worse though and now I'm in the middle of it full swing. I've been attempting the natural stuff as I couldn't remember to take the pill regularly and the Nuvaring was ghastly. I'm now taking over the counter Estroven, and Progesterone cream from Walmart. The hot flashes have alleviated for the time being and my mood seems pretty decent. My main problem now is that my sex drive has crashed and burned and I'm not sure it can be resuscitated with a crane or even CPR.
I'm really lucky though. My guy is loving, understanding, and patient for the most part. He knows I'm half-nuts right now and he continually reminds me that it's just a phase, a natural part of a woman's life, and that I'll get through it. He hugs me and tells me this nightmare will pass. He says my sex drive will come back eventually. And he always refers me back to my doctor when we're at a loss of what to do over the next awful symptom or the other.
I know I've changed. There's the weight gain that was never an issue before along with this sex drive thing, despite my working out fairly frequently on my treadmill, weights, sit-ups. It's all just pure dee hell. At least I'm not as irritable as I used to be, though my little one and my partner might disagree..heh.
What's a true relief, however, is that my partner is showing me the true meaning of loyalty. He is standing by me through thick and thin, in sickness and health. And we're only engaged. We're not even married yet. His loyalty despite my troubles with this impresses me. How many men these days would be understanding about low libido and the lack of desire for physical affection and intimacy before they walk away leaving us behind, or even worse, stay and cheat?
Ladies, the true test of a keeper is a man who will stand by you when the times are tough and you're not at your best.. and visa versa. | |
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| Menopause Advise.
Posted: 12/28/2007 9:47:44 PM | "360 degrees?"
REALLY?
That indicates no change at all to me. How about 180? 
But I agree with information-gathering, and even though it's too late, maybe it will help in my next relationship. | |
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| Menopause Advise.
Posted: 12/29/2007 11:26:09 AM | | Christ OP you act like this is your 1st piece of tail. PMS or this menopause BS they all act the same way.Cut your loses and move on for Christs sake. | |
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| Menopause Advise.
Posted: 12/29/2007 12:04:37 PM | Menopause started for me at 33 yea very young, not even the doctor's knew what was going on,,it was a miserable time and I felt very bad for the men who have to stand by and watch it,,,crying for so reason, mood swings, tired, depression, hot flashes thank goodness I only had one,,cranky, snappy, and personality changes were all part of it,, it was pure hell...some women are lucky and dont experience much, others were worse then I was,,,its a time that can test a relationship to its limits,,i was put on medication for anxiety disorder, depression you name it,,,finally found a doctor who took blood work and I got my answer,,it was easier to deal with knowing it wasn't all in my head,,after 43 I stopped, I never took hormone therapy,,I woke up to a brand new world,,remember there are 2 stages peri-menopause and actual menopause,,and sad to say it takes about 10 years in total, some more some less,,,this is a time when a man learns to just says yes and no tactfully.., LOL,,a simple blood test to determine hormone levels can detect it,,once knowing there are way to deal with it,,medicine and knowledge have come a long way,,,good luck to the men and women dealing with it
evie  | |
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