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| How Do You Handle Rejection?
Posted: 10/26/2009 12:41:45 PM | I build a bridge and get over it.
I know that I am not responsible for another person's emotions or actions, just as they are not responsible for mine.
If someone is not 'into' me then I won't stalk them or boil their bunny, nor will I retreat to a corner and howl at the moon.
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| How Do You Handle Rejection?
Posted: 10/26/2009 12:53:25 PM | What is this rejection you speak of? Just kidding.
I think that rejection is part of everyday life, and should be treated as such, what I mean to say is that I don't think people should let it get to them after being rejected, whatever it is or in whatever aspect of life, if it was meant to be it would have happened, if not, well never mind, move on. :) | |
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| How Do You Handle Rejection?
Posted: 10/27/2009 7:24:22 PM | I take it badly...
Its just the way Im made.
But what ever doesnt kill you makes you strong in the end...
Trouble is some rejections can kill a small part of you inside
But remember keep a stiff upper lip guys, remember its for England! | |
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| How Do You Handle Rejection?
Posted: 10/28/2009 2:45:02 AM | | Personally I think people usually reject someone else because they don't understand the REAL depths of their feelings. When it happens to me I just make sure they know how much time I am willing to dedicate to making them happy... You know, standing outside their house for hours on end. Making phonecalls to their house from 9am - 3am (not talking though, I don't want to come on TOO strong). Sending love letters, following them around... Stuff like that. | |
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| How Do You Handle Rejection?
Posted: 10/28/2009 5:49:54 AM | It depends on how I am rejected as well.
I rather hear the truth than some sugarcoated nonsense in an attempt to 'let me down gently', as that will backfire.
If someone says to me 'I am not that into you', okay, not nice but you move on.
If someone gives me a whole****and bull story and I can think of things how it could work, and then I find out they are not actually into me, I can see a bit red. Yeah, I know, if a guy says 'I really like you, BUT...', I should not bother, but if you really like someone you want to find ways to make it work.
I once got chatting to a South-African guy from here, exchanged messages, then numerous texts and phonecalls. Arranged to meet, then suddenly didn't hear from him over a weekend. On the Monday I get some story about his phone not being charged (he was home all weekend). Then a bit later a whole sob story on how he met up with his ex, they had a long talk and decided to give it another go. So I wished him good luck. Within 15 minutes of sob story he was back on here updating his profile with new pictures and text. Now that peeves me off! | |
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| How Do You Handle Rejection?
Posted: 10/28/2009 6:29:53 AM |
Personally I think people usually reject someone else because they don't understand the REAL depths of their feelings. When it happens to me I just make sure they know how much time I am willing to dedicate to making them happy... You know, standing outside their house for hours on end. Making phonecalls to their house from 9am - 3am (not talking though, I don't want to come on TOO strong). Sending love letters, following them around... Stuff like that.
Yeh DEEP feelings are not scary at all | |
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| How Do You Handle Rejection?
Posted: 10/28/2009 6:56:07 AM | Having been on here a long time now I should be used to being rejected all the time
but I'd be lying if I said that it doesn't bother me and still don't handle it very well at all.
I don't have a problem if a woman doesn't fancy me and its their choice but when your
always being told that your such a nice guy and a gentleman it does get very annoying!!
I guess we all handle rejection in a different way but I'd rather be told the truth why
I wasn't good enough for someone like if it was because of my disability than be lied to.
I'd be able to accept it more then and would respect that person for their honesty. | |
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| How Do You Handle Rejection?
Posted: 10/28/2009 7:22:22 AM |
I guess we all handle rejection in a different way but I'd rather be told the truth why
I wasn't good enough for someone like if it was because of my disability than be lied to.
Thats interesting to read Hams, i will admit i almost always lie, if i find a guy unattractive, i will always say its to do with distance or some other excuse like that, im not comfortable being blunt with people, is that wrong? | |
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| How Do You Handle Rejection?
Posted: 10/28/2009 7:33:03 AM |
i will admit i almost always lie, if i find a guy unattractive, i will always say its to do with distance or some other excuse like that, im not comfortable being blunt with people, is that wrong?
Well, it depends I suppose. Telling someone 'I don't think this will go anywhere because I am not attracted to you' is not nice to hear. You can always throw it on that elusive spark being missing! | |
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| How Do You Handle Rejection?
Posted: 10/28/2009 8:11:30 AM | | I will handle rejection by forgetting her, as simple as that. Though I have lost count now how many times I get turned down, women love doing that on me lol | |
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| How Do You Handle Rejection?
Posted: 10/28/2009 8:16:18 AM | | i handle rejection quite well , bt my freind met smeone and she normally handles rejection quite well bt this man played real bad mind games with her and she actually had a breakdwn ,she recovered thn he contacted her again she wnt running just to be told he had gt engaged to a lass hed only knwn 2 wks she ws gutted tll she realized he had only used her wn he had no one else | |
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| How Do You Handle Rejection?
Posted: 10/28/2009 8:33:55 AM |
If you have only met the person once or twice, then guess its no big deal..
There is no point in chasing after someone who does not reciprocate your feelings, you will annoy them, and make yourself look a fool..
No-one likes their pride being dented, so despite whatever anyone says, when your prides been hurt you have to decide whether or not to take revenge ....
aka bunny boiler...
or walk away muttering, but smiling, and move on to the next..
My opinion in 2007 and it's still the same ...
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| How Do You Handle Rejection?
Posted: 10/28/2009 8:42:35 AM | | it is like looking for a job, if you find love you have won the jackpot, it is very rare to find love, sometimes it is mistaken for something else like lust. | |
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| How Do You Handle Rejection?
Posted: 10/28/2009 9:02:53 AM |
Thats interesting to read Hams, i will admit i almost always lie, if i find a guy unattractive, i will always say its to do with distance or some other excuse like that, im not comfortable being blunt with people, is that wrong?
I can understand if you find it uncomfortable to be blunt and that it must be difficult GG.
But I'd prefer if a woman told me she didn't find me attractive than make up an excuse!
It might be hard to take at first but better than knowing it wasn't for something made up.
I can't speak for other men on this matter but that is how I feel about this particular issue. | |
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| How Do You Handle Rejection?
Posted: 10/29/2009 2:57:21 AM | "Personally I think people usually reject someone else because they don't understand the REAL depths of their feelings. When it happens to me I just make sure they know how much time I am willing to dedicate to making them happy... You know, standing outside their house for hours on end. Making phonecalls to their house from 9am - 3am (not talking though, I don't want to come on TOO strong). Sending love letters, following them around... Stuff like that."
PMSL that is brilliant
What ya gonna do, depending on how long you're with them you might have a wee cry, pick yourself up and get on with it......C'est La Vie
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JTFN
| | Joined: 12/30/2008
Msg: 68 | |
| How Do You Handle Rejection?
Posted: 10/29/2009 4:46:09 AM | We’ve all been a little hurt when younger but it is a training ground for dealing with more serious emotional issues in our older years.
There was an excellent US teen TV series a few years ago about the trials and tribulations of growing up in the world. The Wonder Years, it featured a young male who was reflecting backwards on his emotional life growth.. I sure wish that had been on in my teen years.
The thing is that we all go through the pain of rejection at some stage. We learn from it and emotionally grow a bit more from it. The personal rejection in the end almost becomes unnoticeable (take note you players). There are many props (alcohol, mad parties, shopping, new hair styles etc) we use to deaden the pain, but at the end of the day there is only one option...
Move on and forward and get on with your own personal life- Cos we aint here long enough to worry/fret about people that don't care about YOU when you look at the big picture.. | |
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| How Do You Handle Rejection?
Posted: 11/1/2009 1:14:49 AM | Honestly Haneke if someone turns around and says he is not attracted to you that is a load of bull especially if they get to see your photos first there is that initial attraction. I think people say it to make themselves feel a bit better and ultimately rejecting another what could be more empowering to a weasel.
Personally If you do not want to meet again after a first meet then so be it nothing to get over. Remember how many times you might have rejected someone. It goes both ways.
I have gone on a few dates from here and quite frankly do not understand why I wasted my time, the first just not my type and why are there so many men on here lately who are so bitter about their ex wives and blame them for the marriage breakdowns. Second told me at the end of the evening that he had a semi hard on the whole night and then progressed by sending me a text message telling me he wanted to have sex with me. And people wonder why I prefer to be single. Oh had another date arranged with a guy who seems to have been on here for years, now I understand why. lol
Anywhoo chin up and onwards and upwards. I think people take internet dating far too serious. I have a date this thursday with a rather tasty morsel that I had met last night at a party and he text me this morning just to ensure that I do remember lol. Sometimes we need to stop looking be happy with what we have and you never know what awaits us around the corner.
But obviously rejection is not nice and it does not matter whether you are prettier or uglier, smarter or dumber, thinner or fatter than anyone else on here it happens to us all in our lives. Just do not take it so personally! The internet is a medium to alleviate boredom and so should dating be. It is not a must and being single is no longer a sin.
Hams you are a fabulously gorgeous man and remember how many people on here can say that having you as friend in their lives have enriched it. I would much rather have too many friends than a partner who ultimately stagnates and becomes dull and boring.
Ok my sunday sermon over. | |
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| How Do You Handle Rejection?
Posted: 11/1/2009 8:31:11 AM | | I think it's to do with the way you reject someone and how many times they have been rejected. Obviously the uglier someone is the more they will be rejected and the less confidence they will have, but on the other hand, you can have someone who's very good looking who gets rejected and they are angry because they aren't used to it. The worst rejection is ignoring someone, instead just tell them you didn't fancy them and that they should move on. | |
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| How Do You Handle Rejection?
Posted: 11/1/2009 8:45:44 AM | About 4 in every 10 people you meet will have some kind of personality disorder. If you are lucky they will be relatively harmless but many will be sociopaths and Heaven help you if you come into contact with a pyschopath.
Why am I writing this?
Well, the cold brutal truth is that people can be adult in years, they can have a good job or career, the big house, the flash car, the gorgeous body and luscious hair, etc, etc, etc, but they can be very immature, very shallow, very insecure, damaged or just a plain old vanilla wrapper nutjob.
They are everywhere.
We work with them, they work for us, we work for them. We pass them in the street, the office, the supermarket and we get emails from/write emails to them on dating sites. In fact, there have been several research articles written about how dating sites are a magnet for sociopaths.
So when you get rejected please bear all the above in mind. You may not just be that twisted idea of perfection that the nutjob has in mind. You may not live up to the fantasy career that she expects you to have or the size 8 stunning figure that he expects you to have. It is often THEM and NOT you.
Let them go, be grateful that they have chosen someone else. Move on.
There are almost 7 billion people on the planet now, give or take a few hundred million, so I am sure that there is more than just 'the one' for all of us. | |
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| How Do You Handle Rejection?
Posted: 11/1/2009 8:45:50 AM | Like quite a few people here I dont suffer rejection I just understand that some (replace some with most..) women who dont reply to my messages are deluded bunny boilers with issues about past boyfriends and intimacy. They most probably have STIs and smelly feet. Also their bums do look big in that new dress they just bought.
Thats how i deal with it....
*** EDIT****
Just read the opening post and glad to see I did not answer the question at all... predictable..!
***END OF EDIT STATEMENT**** | |
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| How Do You Handle Rejection?
Posted: 11/1/2009 8:46:39 AM | it always amazes me how many people will stay in a relationship long after they've realised it's not what they want, just because they don't have the courage to end it or are afraid to hurt the other person's feelings.
Personally, if I had been with someone for a few yrs and then found out he'd only stayed for the last 12 months out of duty and/or pity I'd be much more hurt and humiliated than if he had been honest with me and ended it much earlier on.
As for how I handle it.......well the last time it happened he ended it because he was dying.......I desperately wanted to spend the last few months of his life with him but he wouldn't even see me. Now I can see that he needed to be with his family, and I think he also wanted to spare me in a way as we had only been together for a few months.... but at the time I didn't think I would ever get over the pain and the sense of loss ..it was as if he had already died. | |
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| How Do You Handle Rejection?
Posted: 11/1/2009 11:13:17 AM | Well I am still shopping in Argos trying to find that 'extra something; that women keep talking about.
The last 5 'relationships;' that have got as far as the 4th or 5th date, have been terminated over the phone by that well known "you are a lovely guy and great in everyway but something is missing and therefore I dont think its going to go any further".
The latest one being at 10.30 this morning.
God I wish they would change the record or at least tell me what that 'special something' is. They never ask for it in their profiles.
Perhaps Tescos sell it with extra club points | |
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