Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Ask A Girl  > Girl more picky on Plenty of Fish than they would be in real life?      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 tall.cold.1
Joined: 10/18/2006
Msg: 99
Girl more picky on Plenty of Fish than they would be in real life?Page 5 of 5    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)

I think it's just POF. I've been to a few other sites and never had as much trouble talking to people as I do here. Most other sites people are fairly open to at least a little conversation, emailing, chatting whatever. On here it's like pulling teeth just to get someone to say hi.

Most dating sites will not let you contact someone else without forking over some money, so maybe that's why you have had better luck with other dating sites. I personally have had much better luck with so-called 'mail-order bride' companies. There are a lot of guys who'll write (though not quite as much as domestically), but very few of them will go to another country to visit a lady, so those who do have much better odds of finding a suitable lady. The only drawbacks are you have to get married for her to stay in the country and you have to deal with a lot of red tape.

About contacting women online, they get tons of messages every day, so you have to persistent and keep writing to the ones you like until they respond or block you.
 jdb57
Joined: 6/20/2007
Msg: 100
Girl more picky on Plenty of Fish than they would be in real life?
Posted: 3/25/2008 9:29:32 PM
Night4Stars nailed it. I am going to further add that I e-mail women who are cute, but not even super hot, but who have really interesting profiles. How many responses do I get back? ZERO! Okay, maybe one here recently but it was only because she is on this forum and nowhere near me, I am sure.
 chiagee
Joined: 3/15/2008
Msg: 101
view profile
History
Girl more picky on Plenty of Fish than they would be in real life?
Posted: 3/25/2008 10:59:37 PM
Dont take it so serious-this is not a job! I see people check out my profile and the forums I respond to-some very interesting people that I would love to meet.If it is meant to be ,that is what will happen! I hang in the forums because they are funny,insightful,even educational and if they dont like that I have criteria( a pic,no instant messaging)on my profile oh well.As far as picky, its more like careful.Common sense is a must this day and age.
 jon4833
Joined: 2/21/2008
Msg: 102
view profile
History
Girl more picky on Plenty of Fish than they would be in real life?
Posted: 3/26/2008 5:38:02 AM
I haven't had much luck either, I started talking to one woman and she messaged me first. And there was one or two others that after one or two e-mails they didn't respond again. What stinks is that I start wondering if there is something wrong with my profile or my pic. Anyways, I know women get messaged from the guys alot more but occassionally it would be nice to be contacted first. I try to respond to all messages especially after what happened to me on the first one I sent. The response was the rudest I have ever recieved real life or online.
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 103
view profile
History
Are girls more picky on POF than they ARE in real life?
Posted: 3/26/2008 6:11:10 AM
The only drawbacks are you have to get married for her to stay in the country and you have to deal with a lot of red tape.

LOL, those might be a downer - ya think?

About contacting women online, they get tons of messages every day, so you have to persistent and keep writing to the ones you like until they respond or block you.

PLEASE don't do this. Most of us get the first message. No response means no interest. Repeatedly e-mailing or harassing doesn't make you a candidate for dating. The minute a guy thinks there's a certain number of tries that will work, he's disqualified.

And if you already aren't her type, how does repeatedly sending messages help? Annoys her, wastes your time. Not real productive.

Dont take it so serious-this is not a job!

Good point - what's with taking things so personally and seriously? It's a dating site, not an ivy leage enrollment form.
 tall.cold.1
Joined: 10/18/2006
Msg: 104
Girl more picky on Plenty of Fish than they would be in real life?
Posted: 3/26/2008 7:33:04 AM

I haven't had much luck either, I started talking to one woman and she messaged me first. And there was one or two others that after one or two e-mails they didn't respond again. What stinks is that I start wondering if there is something wrong with my profile or my pic. Anyways, I know women get messaged from the guys alot more but occassionally it would be nice to be contacted first. I try to respond to all messages especially after what happened to me on the first one I sent. The response was the rudest I have ever recieved real life or online.

Nothing's wrong with your profile or your pic. You are who you are. Unfortunately, at 5'6" you're not considered tall by the ladies. I'm 5'7" and I'm in the same boat. Then again, I've read a lot of "my wife left me..." posts on here, so the women who marry the tall guys don't necessarily stick with them through thick and thin. If they see they can get rid of you and keep the kids, the car, and the house, many will. Not all, but many will. In fact, too many will. I think our divorce rate is currently about 60% and most of the time the women will initiate the divorce proceedings. The men usually won't because they're still in love and/or they don't want to incur the financial loss.

So what was the first response you received like? Did she call you a 'short loser' or something like that? I've been there. If you make halfway decent money, when you get a chance to take a vacation, go abroad to Eastern Europe, Asia, or Latin America. Go with a group of guys who are participating in a 'gentlemen's tour', especially if you don't know the local language or culture. The last thing you want to do is still be on here 10 years later with nothing having changed.
 tall.cold.1
Joined: 10/18/2006
Msg: 105
Are girls more picky on POF than they ARE in real life?
Posted: 3/26/2008 7:43:42 AM
If a man can find a loving wife from another country, then any expense or red tape will be worth it. Since 911 legal immigration procedures to this country have become draconic. And then there's IMBRA. If an American guy wants to start correspondence with a foreign lady for the ultimate purpose of marriage, he has to submit to a background check. One workaround is go to the country and meet a woman there. To be truthful, if I knew I could adequately support myself in a foreign country, I'd become an ex-pat and do it. I just have to have a steady job I can do remotely.

I myself don't practice writing to women until they respond or block me. That was the advice a woman friend who's on AFF gave. Maybe you can think of it like baseball: strike 3 and you're out. That means if you write to the same lady 3 times and she doesn't write you back, she's not interested in you.
 mermaid1947
Joined: 3/27/2008
Msg: 106
view profile
History
Girl more picky on Plenty of Fish than they would be in real life?
Posted: 4/6/2008 6:03:55 PM
I think gals can have it all. We can have fun & the dishes still get done (along with wash etc.). I have had more sucess than with any other site so far. I would send out "winks, f lirts & contacts with other sites & no men ever replied. Here I have lots of e-mail & have been having great fun. Sure I look at the profiles but I did there also. I think this site is far easier to get to know people.
 JohnGaltLives
Joined: 7/29/2007
Msg: 107
view profile
History
Girl more picky on Plenty of Fish than they would be in real life?
Posted: 4/6/2008 6:25:49 PM
Here's the truth of it, as I see it. Women have had a lot of bad dating experiences in their past before coming to an online personals website, and they're trying to be logical about the whole thing. "That didn't work, and he was like this, so I must not want that." "This didn't work out, and he was like that, so I must not want this." This goes on and on until, sometimes without even realizing it, they've put together a Frankenstein's monster-type list of "requirements" that they think they must want. They don't take a step back and realize that, step by step, they've built an ideal, and the ideal doesn't exist. An ideal, by its nature, is perfect, and no one in this mortal coil is perfect. NO ONE.

The funny thing is, they assemble these lists on their profiles on sites like this ("He has to be six feet tall, he has to make me priority in his life, but has to give me my space, he has to be okay with all my guy friends but he has to be over his ex", the list goes on and on), and then they get upset when someone calls them on their unrealistic requirements, saying, "They aren't requirements! They're just what I prefer! I have a right to what I want!"

No, actually, you don't have a right to what you want. You have a right to what you prefer, but the more specific that gets, the greater the possibility that you won't find it at all. Additionally, many women, if called on the whole thing, indicate that "They aren't requirements, they're preferences!" Well, if they're preferences, perhaps you should learn to use the written English language well enough to know how to phrase them as preferences instead of requirements? I'm going to give most of the women who do this the benefit of the doubt and assume they do have preferences instead of requirements (and we all have requirements, but a mature person is going to be open to a variety of personality types and pasts, and they're going to make sure their "non-negotiables" are a lot fewer than their "I'd prefer not, but let's see"), but if this is the case, sorry to sound harsh here, but you were educated at least through the end of high school (I think). If that's the case, you should have enough basic proficiency with English to know how to communicate the difference between a "preference" and a "requirement".
 MIman01
Joined: 4/1/2007
Msg: 108
Girl more picky on Plenty of Fish than they would be in real life?
Posted: 4/6/2008 8:10:49 PM

About contacting women online, they get tons of messages every day, so you have to persistent and keep writing to the ones you like until they respond or block you.


See, our depraved society calls that STALKING. Because 1 out of 100 persons are stalkers society passes laws condemning and assuming every man is a stalker. Innocent until proven guilty ?, LOL, sounds more like a nazi state to me.

anyhow, this was once called COURTSHIP, like in the movie Titanic, Jack was persistant in his attempts to win her heart even though they were from different social classes and the social climate was to disprove of that type of interrelation of the social classes but it wasnt legislated as being ILLEGAL, Society now throws a man in jail for trying to court a woman because they say he is surely a stalker.
 MIman01
Joined: 4/1/2007
Msg: 109
Girl more picky on Plenty of Fish than they would be in real life?
Posted: 4/6/2008 8:15:42 PM
OH, and women are indoctrinated by the legislation and society to believe that ANY man that courts her is a STALKER. So WTF ? Is it a wonder why there are so many single people. ?
 northeast25
Joined: 12/4/2007
Msg: 110
Girl more picky on Plenty of Fish than they would be in real life?
Posted: 4/6/2008 8:30:05 PM
Again, that's just not true. At a max, I could see it being 20% of the women here getting all the messages, while all the rest are mostly ignored.


I don't know the exact number, but I think it is higher than 20%. I know several women that used POF at one point. The only women among this group that received very few emails were the ones that were well below average looking. The women that were okay looking or better received a fair amount of emails. I'm not saying that every woman who receives very few emails is unattractive. But it was true among this group of women.
 PennyLane57
Joined: 3/25/2008
Msg: 111
Girl more picky on Plenty of Fish than they would be in real life?
Posted: 4/27/2008 6:25:14 AM
The difference between being on POF vs Real life.... in real life, you meet the guy in person first & don't have to figure out what he actually looks like, can talk to him & decide if you're inerested or not. On POF, you have NO (real) idea what he looks like, or whether his profile is full of crap or not. We only have your words (on the profile) to make a decision as to if we want to contact you. So, YES, I am more picky on POF!
That's also why there's no point in wasting time with tons of emails before you meet....
it's all in the CHEMISTRY upon meeting :) I can email anyone and like what I READ!
 ceeceekitty
Joined: 11/6/2006
Msg: 112
view profile
History
Girl more picky on Plenty of Fish than they would be in real life?
Posted: 5/6/2008 8:18:55 AM
Nope, not to picky.

I married my first sweetheart...and was swept away with emotions from the heart and used not one single brain cell before jumping into that fire.

I was jumping from one hell into another, only it was disguised as "paradise".
I was the oldest and felt I had to much responsibility at home.

After 8 years, I was still at a young age, you know, when you still think you know everything.
And that the thing I did not want was to be a human punching bag.

And thinking that was the worst thing and I'd been through it.........
I wanted to be treated like a queen and put on a pedestal...........
Bam......there he was, by George, to fit my bill.....NOT

I needed a keeper for sure, but hind sight, what a gluten for punishment and train wreck heading somewhere to happen, I was.
Years go by, and Lord have mercy, I actually feel blessed.

I was an idiot...........

That man poked anything that had a hole in it and took plastic, for 24 years.
Then the train wrecked.

I should not have been let out of the house until I was 53.

Since that eye opening, train wreck, I've taken several years to define and work on me.........and what I want and don't want.

If I don't find it, then I opt to be alone.
Settling for the sake of not being alone, is not an option, and one that I would never consider.
Just how can a person be "too picky" when it comes to their life?

ceeceekitty
Show ALL Forums  > Ask A Girl  > Girl more picky on Plenty of Fish than they would be in real life?