| Single Dads with kids! Why are women scared?
Posted: 1/18/2008 2:21:05 PM | | Most of us are not scared...Actually, I would prefer to date a single dad...Since, I am a single Mom they tend to understand more the demands put on my schedule...Less drama. | |
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| Single Dads with kids! Why are women scared?
Posted: 3/12/2008 5:36:34 AM | A question for all you LOVELY LADYS
If you are written by a guy that has some of the same interests or even a lot. Would the fact that he has kids tend to make you not give him a chance?
I could realy use feed back on this one | |
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| Single Dads with kids! Why are women scared?
Posted: 3/12/2008 6:01:39 AM | | Been there, and done that, it is a nightmare to try and date a man that has kids. It might be because i have my daughter grown, and i am ready for a relationship, with just adults. I gave it a try, just way to hard. | |
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| Single Dads with kids! Why are women scared?
Posted: 3/12/2008 6:05:28 AM | In response to greeneyes269, that would depend on the kid's ages. I am a single Mom and my daughter is now all grown up and on her own and we visit each other several times a year. If I were to meet someone who still has teenagers, I'll pass. I have found that in the past, his kids may be raised differently than mine were, and it's not my place to discipline or teach them while they are visiting.
We have house rules, like taking shoes off at the front door, pitching in and helping with doing the dishes, leaving a bathroom the same way as we found it, etc. When my kids were teens, they didn't want anyone hanging around their Mom, so they would act up when someone came over, it was rather embarassing, to say the least. I can laugh about it now, but it certainly wasn't fair, but it helps me understand why some kids just aren't that understanding, and quite frankly I don't need to go thru it again with someone else on the other side. I love kids, don't get me wrong, but there are a few who lie, steal and make life miserable, no thanks.
Pink | |
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| Single Dads with kids! Why are women scared?
Posted: 3/12/2008 6:34:35 AM | | Well I have a little girl that is MY WORLD! If it werent for her, there is no telling where I would be or what I would be doing so I ALWAYS tell the person I have a child before I even go to meet them just so they know. If they cant handle the fact that you have a child, you donnot need them. Try to find someone to date who has a child! lol | |
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| Single Dads with kids! Why are women scared?
Posted: 3/12/2008 7:33:48 AM | | Have to ask our you only dating women who are not Mothers. I'm a mother of two and when reading a profile actually am looking for a man who has kids as to one who doesn't. Would prefer to date a dad with kids will agree it does show committment, responsible and a mutual understanding to the demands of time when raising kids. So, maybe start messaging mothers and us single moms do have as much trouble with men who don't have kids. | |
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| Single Dads with kids! Why are women scared?
Posted: 3/12/2008 7:41:13 AM | | It is the same way for women trust me on this. Especially a 39 year old woman with a 3 year old and a 7 year old. But I am a package deal and hopefully I will find someone who will get that. I hope you do too. | |
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| Single Dads with kids! Why are women scared?
Posted: 3/12/2008 7:53:11 AM | | I'm with you buddy. I am a single father of 3. I have them every night, and I have found that this causes problems in a few ways. First, most single women that don't have kids typically want their own and think because I have 3, that I wouldn't want another (which is mostly true). Also, I don't let them meet my kids unless it becomes serious, and I have been told I must not trust "her" with my kids, when all I am doing is protecting my boys. Another is women think I am looking for a mom for my kids, when that is far from true... most men aren't looking for that, especially if the mom is still around. Plus, I have no problem with dating women with kids, but it is even more difficult, finding time for each other and all. But, not all women are turned off by kids and see the real man that stands behind his kids. These women are few and far between and are unique... but for the sake of the kids, never settle for less. | |
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| Single Dads with kids! Why are women scared?
Posted: 3/12/2008 11:20:55 AM | "Would the fact that he has kids tend to make you not give him a chance?"
GreenEyes: You bet I would definitely give him a chance! Why not?
Matt263 also has some really great ideas on being very careful when introducing children to that "potential partner". Children are precious & need to be protected at all times and it's a crazy world out there!
Also, I would like to mention that after the introductions are made, there should be a mutual respect between the parent, the child(ren) & the potential new partner.
Limits, Rules & Guidleines in regards to discipline, ect, should be agreed on BEFORE any actions are taken to avoid those misunderstandings, "stepping on toes" or the good ol' "You're not my Mom/Dad, you can't tell me what to do!" situations. | |
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| Single Dads with kids! Why are women scared?
Posted: 3/12/2008 1:21:19 PM | I have tried women with and without kids. To me what matters is you have to have things in common. The kids are another part of her. I don't knock women for not wanting to date a guy with kids. But does that mean they cant talk to you. Lets face it if you don't talk you can't find any thing out. Maybe thats why a lot of couples are no longer together.  | |
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| Single Dads with kids! Why are women scared?
Posted: 3/13/2008 10:44:43 AM | Let ladies know ahead of time.. so they know what their 'getting into' before you go out together. Girls have all kinds of different reasons for reacting this way. I don't have anything against single dad's but I might not date one because I'd be afraid of a crazyass ex that you can't get out of your life because you are still in contact because of the kids. Not saying that's how it is with you... or in general... but I just know to many crazyass girls like that I guess. lol
best of luck though. There's someone out there for you :) | |
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| Single Dads with kids! Why are women scared?
Posted: 3/13/2008 11:01:52 AM | | Iha , well im a single mother to three childeren all under 10 years , i find it verry hard , dont get me wrong there dad comes down every night to see them , its when i fancy a good night out i have nobody to have the kids,so im stuck at home with a beer dvd ect at the end of the day it was my choice x | |
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| Single Dads with kids! Why are women scared?
Posted: 3/13/2008 11:11:22 AM | Met a lady the other day for coffee and when I told her I was a single dad she couldnt get out of there fast enough! This isnt the first time either.Seems like women with kids have a easier time finding someone. Or does it just seem like that?
I didn't read the 6 pages of comments so I apologize if this was said before. A major problem I see with this is you waited to meet to tell the woman something so important. Don't. Tell them early on this way you know if it's something they can or can not handle. Also I wonder the age of the woman you are dating/meeting. I, at 31 have no problems dating someone with kids however if you asked me a few years ago I would have said "no way!"
It's personal preference whether or not a person wants to date a person who already has kids or not. However I totally disagree that women have an easier time. I was raised by a divorced mother from the age of 2 and it's hard. Especially when for the parent who has custody (which is often the mom).
My main concern with dating a man with a child (or children) is drama from the mother and the possibility that there are still feelings there. That I can't, won't deal with.
**Just noticed: OP doesn't even have a profile and what I said has been said before, oh well. lol | |
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| Single Dads with kids! Why are women scared?
Posted: 3/13/2008 11:14:31 AM | Kudos to you Dad ... but I hear where you're coming from..unfortunately I think it's a sign of our "me" society... I have met quite a few gents ...and it's the same thing... it would seem that kids get in the way...rather than enhance the relationship... be thankful the lady left before you introduced your kids to her and they got hurt ...
jo | |
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| Single Dads with kids! Why are women scared?
Posted: 3/13/2008 11:24:08 AM | | Can some of you single dads accept dating a woman who will never live with you or marry you because they don't want to raise your kids? I understand that you want to start over, but some women also don't want to end up paying child support for children that are not theirs. In my opinion dating a single dad would be just dating and nothing more. | |
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| Single Dads with kids! Why are women scared?
Posted: 3/13/2008 1:47:52 PM | Well I see where everyone is comeing from. But to me I'd like to know why women think they have to raise the kids. But then I read some of the storys and see why. to Me if you have your kids you want to raise them is'nt that why you have them. I'm not looking for a new mom for my kids. Its weird but I have learned to handle that roll. i'm looking for me. They won't be here for ever I HOPE Just Kidden. Reading these forums
tells me a lot I guess the guys that answer these forums are few and far between. And I think we all live in bad Locations. Oh well gota keep tring. | |
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| Single Dads with kids! Why are women scared?
Posted: 3/13/2008 2:09:10 PM | Great responses on this thread...
It brought back many wonderful and sad memories all at once.
Many moons ago I did have a serious relashionship with a man that had part custody of a toddler, a little girl of two years old at the time.
As our relashionship progressed, I did meet the toddler. We immediately clicked. We bonded and I simple fell in love with her. Everything was fine until....
Well, until the little girl started to ask to see me when she was with MOMMY.
How can you distance yourself from a child. I never once intentionaly wanted to become a surrogate mother. We were pratically living together. It is only normal that I would spend time with his daughter also.
I just simply loved her and sometimes disciplined her and I suppose did motherly things but I never overstepped my bounds. She just saw me as Daddy's friend and NEVER EVER did she at anytime feel that I was stealing Daddy from her.
Anyway... The ex-wife became a huge problem. Basically, the ex-wife twisted things until she had him between a rock and a hard place. Basically, it was me or his little girl.
With a lot of courage and sadness I walked away. I loved them both too much to cause such sadness for him and his daughter.
I have NEVER gotten involved with someone with children since.
It was painful then and it would be unbearable now.
I would consider a man who is widowed. Anyway, at my age, the children would be young adults and it may not be such an issue... Who knows...
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| Single Dads with kids! Why are women scared?
Posted: 3/13/2008 2:23:59 PM | I think it boils down to personal preference....
Personally, I have two children under 10....they live with their moms'
And I have my contact/ custody days sorted out....and get no hassles from the exes..
Preferably..... a single woman who has children around similar ages too mine would probably suit me better....but that's not a guarentee....iam pretty open. | |
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| Single Dads with kids! Why are women scared?
Posted: 3/13/2008 4:49:06 PM | I am surprised she was trying to get away...Didn't she know that you were a single dad before your date?
I personally wouldn't have a problem since I like kids and would love to settle down with someone nice.
Maybe you ought to be clearer in the beginning :) | |
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| Single Dads with kids! Why are women scared?
Posted: 3/14/2008 6:19:44 AM | | I have seen many threads like this from men and women complaining about people not wanting to date them because of children.Why do you think it has anything to do with fear? It doesn't.For me i don't want to date a man with children because i simply don't want to be annoyed by your kids.I don't want to play mommy or to babysit.I don't want to sit there while you show me endless pictures and video of your perfect little angels.I don't have any kids of my own and don't want any so why would i want to be saddled with someone Else's kids? | |
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