| Single Dads with kids! Why are women scared?
Posted: 3/27/2008 6:51:32 AM | Well, I know deep subject. I myself have raised two husbands and 5 boys, been there and done that. I appreciate it when the male I chose to date puts his cards on the table and lets me decided if I want to go there or not. Someone having children at home to raise is a big issue that should have been brought up before you EVER go out w/someone. Kids are a hugh responsibility and choosing to be involved w/a single dad/mom makes you a part of their life as well. I do not think it is a matter of her/him wanting to be the center of attention for the most part but face it, at this age and stage of life we do hope that your attention is there when we want it. I have not the patience /want to deal w/crying babies or drama laden teens, I make it clear during the talking stage that I do not want that type of situitation. With all that said, to the ones whom think I am a "he woman child hater" I am currently seeing someone w/a 13y/o son and think he and I might be in it for the long haul but he did tell me in the first talk he had a son w/shared custody therefor leaving me the choice to date or not to date him. He has never made it a quite game, I know his child is and will always be first in his life. I was free to make a decision on the truth upfront and I made it! He is a wonderful man and I am willing to share his life and his kid. Again it was out of choice not omission based.
Kim | |
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| Single Dads with kids! Why are women scared?
Posted: 3/27/2008 7:02:24 AM | Well iv heard it all now !!!!
Why do ppl put a heading to everything.and why would anybody be shot down becouse of what thay want and need in life,,,I say get over it....
LOOK im fat some men are narrow minded about that too,,,,,
Im not scared of anything !!! only ppl with OUT a heart 
P,s Im a single mum of 1 girl....and why do some men THINK us single mums are after a meal ticket   
happy   | |
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| Single Dads with kids! Why are women scared?
Posted: 3/28/2008 5:33:02 AM | I agree with dugary, The question always is aked by the gals, then you tell them, and the ages, the never write back. Some do, but then it fades out.
Good luck all
It's hard to raise kids by any single person, the kids like the sense of a "mom" "dad" figure in the home, that is loving, not fighting. | |
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| Single Dads with kids! Why are women scared?
Posted: 3/28/2008 7:24:57 AM | me again  i had to answer back...Im 100% honiest and im not rude i allways reply.even if it was to say no ty....some .ppl need a relality check....
And look at a possative side....would you want a women or man for that if thay not child lovers 
So any single parents (male) wheres your e-mail to me lol
happy   | |
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| Single Dads with kids! Why are women scared?
Posted: 3/28/2008 12:39:30 PM | i do not mind single dad's with kids. it shows their commitment and their gentle side. it gives me insight into the type of man he is when he's not with t he "boys"..... he isnt trying to be macho or anything. it really shows his sensitive side. and that is very attractive to me.... | |
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| Single Dads with kids! Why are women scared?
Posted: 3/28/2008 4:47:21 PM | | It's just that I dont have children of my own and it is a priority issue, especially if there are custody situations. The man will have to make time for me around the child. He should place his child first, but I would want some of that time too. It's a balancing act that the man will have to play... | |
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| Single Dads with kids! Why are women scared?
Posted: 3/28/2008 7:10:24 PM | If a lady wants biological kids or already have 1 or 2 she may have a concern that to raise a dull house these days is not always easy. Kids need attention and development programs. If one person stays at home and another works that can be easily accomplished.
Many do not have a family support and also one income very often is not enough and bothe parties have to work. It is very difficult to give kids a proper time, participate in a variety of activities with them if there is limited time and limited funds. With such variable a full house may not awlays work properly and many people may want to have only their own kids. Imagine your partenr has 2 and you have 2 or plans to have 2 eventually. 4 kids will require a lot of time and financial resources..... | |
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| Single Dads with kids! Why are women scared?
Posted: 3/28/2008 7:49:12 PM | | You seem to enjoy wearing your little crown of thorns Mr. Martyr. Lots of us guys are single parents with kid(s) and never experience the issues you seem to experience. It shouldn't be an issue yet you seem to be able to make it one. Change your focus and approach. | |
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| Single Dads with kids! Why are women scared?
Posted: 3/29/2008 11:56:52 AM | Have finally finished reading all this lot.
And hope its safe to park my but.... in here and say something.
I'm single and dont/cant have kids but do love like kids.I have never had a problem with anyones kids..But having said that I dont get asked out my single dads in the first place. well if I do there are all over 20 plus.
So I for one am not "scared of single dads with kids"
trots off happily...
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| Single Dads with kids! Why are women scared?
Posted: 3/30/2008 3:51:22 AM | | I tried dating single dads with kids. To me it was harder then if role was switched. Men do not know how to deal with baby mama drama and the kids can still not be over the stress of daddie breaking up with mom. Currently the man I am dating is a single dad and his son thinks mom and dad should get back together and the child acts like I do not exsist when hes around me and hes in my house sometimes it can be a headache. The father does not know how to deal so he continually says hes spoiled at 14 bull shit. so hold on keep the faith and be as understanding as you can . If all else fails excuse my language but **** them find a new and better relationshipdon;t let it stress you. Its not you its the situation. TATA | |
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| Single Dads with kids! Why are women scared?
Posted: 3/30/2008 9:36:11 AM | Would like to comment on this subject '
It is all in the Communication and the Question of
who is the Parent and who is the Child ?
Seems like the Morals ' Values ' Consistancy &
Behaviors of ones Family UNIT would be the
first ^Observation ^for an outsider ''Like is the family Open to "Meaning the Children "
to Mom and or Dad meeting a person for Love and or Relationship ? Or do they rebel against it ? If so RUNnnnnnnnnnnnnn "'LOL
Also is the X "'Meaning Mommy or Daddy Open as well "" Is there gonna be a lot of Drama "' Games "'or baggage from prior Marriage by the X's ?
Is the X long distance "'That
would be the idea Relationship ..
Are the X's at War ? Or do they Communicate Productively ' Rationally & Communicate Peacefully ? And the Other Question would be How strong am I ?
Is an outsider willing to risk Themselves ' there heart ? There
'Time 'Hard WORK & Efforts
to and for a Ready made family ""meaning Sacrifice for the Children """to meet
all there needs & schedules ????? to Share Life with a Man or Woman with Children for the rest of there Life or Lifes ? Also has the X's moved on Really ? And are they Accepting of Its OVER "'Its really Over ????
There is no Room in a Relationship with Children from prior Marriage for Jealousy
Selfishness "' Or Self Seeking "" type People !
Nor is there Room for a Honest "Respectable "Compasssionate ' Kind and Caring
Person to be used as a Pawn Who would consider a Relationship of this dynamics ............For what ever Reasons ?
And God Bless Them ! and Everyone who really wants to be a Part of a Family UNIT ''To be Happy "'In Love ''
And Move Forward Sucessfully........ ''Happy Love ""'! 's | |
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| Single Dads with kids! Why are women scared?
Posted: 5/2/2008 10:19:30 PM | Well I've gotten some good advice. Maybe some one could also answer why do some POFers put what they are looking for on there profiles. But don't answer the emails from poeple with the same things in common or some of the things they are looking for? Just wondering. | |
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| Single Dads with kids! Why are women scared?
Posted: 5/3/2008 4:58:39 PM | MATBE THAT GIRL JUST DIDNT WANT TO BE MOMMY TO SOMEONES KID.. I KNOW MEN THAT ARE THE SAME WAY..
im a simgle mom and some men dont want cause of it and i just dont care but if i found a man i with kids id be all theres just like i am with my own kids.. i love teaching and trips with kids and i dont care whos kids are whos or anything i wouldnt care.. i was with a man who had 3 kids and live right next door and i loved them all...
Anyways what im getting at is that if the girl dont like your kids than shes not much of a woman herself ...and someone that your kids are not going to like anyways!@
hugs
crystal | |
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| Single Dads with kids! Why are women scared?
Posted: 5/3/2008 6:20:25 PM | I see what you mean but my question is even though there profile says they like kids and it is better when the guy has kids. They still don't wright. Is it my profile my pics come on now be honest truth only helps in the end | |
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| Single Dads with kids! Why are women scared?
Posted: 5/3/2008 6:42:35 PM | | I think that it is awesome to see that there are single dads out there. I can't imagine why it would make a difference to dating. It does complicate things but for dating purposes, how is that her problem? Bottom line kids are great and by the way, they are more important than any woman, or man for that matter. | |
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| Single Dads with kids! Why are women scared?
Posted: 5/3/2008 7:02:06 PM | First of, Yeaa for single dads!!!
I was once an oddity(16 years ago) when I became a single dad. (long bad story, not the time or the place). All that mattered to me were my girls. I didn't date for a couple of years, but whe I decided it was time to try, man, it was unreal. At first I thought it was just me, having been married for about 5 years, and out of the "dating" world for about 7 or 8 years, but things had changed. After the first couple of dates, I was out with a woman one night and said I wanted to call home to see how my girls were, her immediate reaction was that I was married, and the date ended very quickly after that.
I noticed a pattern emerging, and one paticular date, after the evening was going very well, and instincts told me where the night was going, I said I wanted to call home & check on my girls. After explaining to my date I was a single father, she backed away as though I said I had AIDS.
It's never been the society "norm" for men to be raising children, but ladies, it happens. Who's to say women are better at raising children then men?
And if any of you reading this play the womb & breast cards, it doesn't wash with me.
Their mother has both, but that hasn't matter squat.
Men, fathers, dads, are very capable in raising children, whether they be sons or daughters. I was blessed with 2 girls, which was more of a challenge, but you'd be suprised at some of the nurturing qualities some men have. Besides ladies, look at it this way. If he has children, and is raising them on his own, doesn't that say a little something about the quality of man you have found? Everyone talks about commitment these days, you won't find a more commited man than a single FATHER..
Sorry about the rant, & thanks for the opportunity to do so, but back to your question, and back to societal "norms". Yes women do seem to have an easier time with this than we do. It may take a generation or so to change this outlook, so, we as single father do have our work cut out for us.
Ladies, look past yourself, and se us for who we are. Good, dedicated loving men, who know whats important in life. And, if you can't, STBY. | |
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| Single Dads with kids! Why are women scared?
Posted: 5/3/2008 7:32:51 PM | | i'm not scared at all! actually, that's exactly what i'm looking for! i feel most men run from me having a young a child...........so all you single dads..........look me up! | |
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| Single Dads with kids! Why are women scared?
Posted: 5/3/2008 8:03:35 PM | Not sure scared is the right t erm. Have you been up front and saying you have kids from the get go? Some woman probably are not ready to have that much in their lives, some like what was mentioned before have probably already raised their own, and some just don't want to have kids and that is not a bad thing either.
For me i am hesitant about children coming from a divorced parent situation and living in the shoes of children of divorce. I really am sensitive to their feelings first and for most. I also want to make sure that I and the Father get along really, really well before I am involved with the children so as to not cause more stress. If kids bond too quickly and the Father's realtionship ends that can be hard on kids. Then some Xes can be tough to deal with. It is a tough place to be.
I am one who is not scared of the single father deal since I cannot have children of my own but I would want to know where I stood with Dad before getting too involved with the children, but I would love an instant family. IMHO. | |
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| Single Dads with kids! Why are women scared?
Posted: 5/3/2008 8:08:43 PM | | i would welcome the children. if you like someone they should know you have children and if they like you they will accept that yall are a package deal. right now,i do like someone who has the older and youngest living with him. i accept that and would love the chance of getting to know him as well as his children. i know i will be able to love them as my own and someone who is involved with someone who has children should feel this way. i accept the package deal, just wish he would give me a chance to get to know me and a chance to make all of them happy, especially HIM!! good luck to you. just be honest up front dont hide it from them, that should help. if they dont accept the package, they are not worth having. you had the children before the "other" person came along. | |
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| Single Dads with kids! Why are women scared?
Posted: 5/3/2008 8:32:37 PM | | be up front and let them know from the get go you have children. keeping secrets like that would only hurt you before something gets started. someone with children comes as a "package" and if they like you, they will keep the package. i have talking to someone with children.i would love to get to know him and his children and i do accept him as a package deal, only if he would give me a chance to do so. so everyone who has children, be up front, this is something you dont want to keep "secret" you are a package if they accept that, they will accept you also. good luck. | |
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| Single Dads with kids! Why are women scared?
Posted: 5/3/2008 10:03:52 PM | A Lot of people are saying to put on the profile you have kids or to be up forunt. I have one question Do people read profiles? If they did they would know we do. Don't get me wrong I look at the pics I want to see the eyes that can tell you so much. and if she wears glasses
Don't know what it is about them. Then i read the profile to see if We have some in common.
So do people read the profiles? | |
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| Single Dads with kids! Why are women scared?
Posted: 5/4/2008 4:57:29 AM | Yes, people read profiles.
As far as the single dad thing, it is probably easier to date someone in a similar situation regarding kids still at home, etc.
My children are adults now and for me, I would not want to partner with someone still raising a family.
You may feel the same way some day... | |
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