| For the Men Over 30
Posted: 5/14/2005 7:53:10 AM | | there just have higher standards than younger men !!! | |
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Shaps
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Joined: 4/23/2005
Msg: 27 | |
| For the Men Over 30
Posted: 5/14/2005 9:53:32 AM | I've been in many serious relationships, that is the only way I will date a girl is if she shows some type of self value or esteem.
But things happen and they move on, leaving me for stupid reasons.
As for not having any kids, well I guess I was or am just lucky not to have any to date, not saying I don't want them.
I'd admit I am probably the most pickiest guy around, but that is only cause I like my relationships to last, not just try to be happy with anyone. | |
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| For the Men Over 30
Posted: 5/14/2005 10:13:48 AM | | sweet I have to admit I have wondered the same thing about women. | |
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| For the Men Over 30
Posted: 5/14/2005 10:45:50 AM | @sweet
I dont know if its a matter of fearing commitment for those guys.
might be they just dont want to get tied down to one woman
they have not married, had kids and dont have the burdens of some men
and they dont care to
or take on anyone eles responsibilities
not afraid, they just dont want to take it on | |
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| For the Men Over 30
Posted: 5/14/2005 10:56:33 AM | @ sweet
on the flip side of the coin
there are men who are over 30 who have 2 children, divorced and looking for someone
for a serious commitment.
maybe someone like that would be more compatible for a woman who is divorced, has 2 kids and looking for commitment
If you are divirced with kids I guess you cant understand the guys who are not married and have no kids and they
probably feel the same about women who have married, divorced and raising kids.
A guy who is single, never married with no kids may feel a woman who is divorced with kids is 'just looking for marriage'
and a woman who has kids, divorced may see him as a player.... when in fact neither person is what the other percieves.
does that make sense? | |
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Shaps
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Joined: 4/23/2005
Msg: 31 | |
| For the Men Over 30
Posted: 5/14/2005 11:04:39 AM | I don't think that unless they prove it to me.
I mean if I meet a single mom and she is in a rush for sex or a relationship then I get spooked. But I have made freinds with many single mothers and there isn't a problem.
In my life I've dated like 4 single moms, and only had a problem with one, as she showed that she just wanted a sugar daddy around, and someone who would take care of her and her kids so she could sleep all day and do nothing.
Not everyone is the same, and I look at a single mom as being a human being first than a woman trying to find someone so she doesn't have to sleep alone anymore. | |
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| For the Men Over 30
Posted: 5/14/2005 11:09:19 AM | @shap
thats right
not everyone is the same
Authors question poses some interesting feedback
but it does not answer it
Every man who is single over 30 with no kids and never been in a long term relationship
has a different reason.
some good
some bad | |
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| For the Men Over 30
Posted: 5/14/2005 12:24:23 PM | | theres that stereo type thing again,i was withsome for along time ,well she had an abortion {her choice not mine and then a couple years later a misscarige after that the relationship was dead,im the only son ,and also have never been married,so when you start to factor in all the woman that had kids when they where younger and past marriges,its harder to find a good one because you have to compete with there ex"s and other failed relationships,that you keep being compared to, then the i dont need anyone but my kids line,there are plenty of good guys out there ,but if woman dont let go of the past and dont open the door to the future ,us men over 30 are gonna have a hard time finding our mate ! im sure this may apply to the other gender as well | |
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| For the Men Over 30
Posted: 5/14/2005 12:51:27 PM | Generalization is a killer thats for sure.
I am single with no kids and never lived with a female (oh why don't you just snort when you say that and show the tape on your glasses geek), But I would like nothing better then be in a relationship with a woman and begin to start a family with her. Only problem is...you have to be IN love with the person you choose to do this with. You can't just pick anyone out the crowd just to accomplish this goal. If there's nothing physical, emotional, intellectual or common between you...then what's the point? You'll end up years down the road becoming bitter to one another, drifting apart, starting affairs, and ending up in divorce like so many seem to be doing lately. That is not healthy. Being picky has nothing to do with it. If the guy gets cold feet and bails...then obviously he wasn't truly ready to begin that commited life now was he? | |
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| For the Men Over 30
Posted: 5/14/2005 1:06:25 PM | Great responses I got back and appreciate them all. I didn't post the question to insult nor bash single guys, I just posed a question that I was curious about. Im a working single mom of 2, own my own home and vehicles and never married. Im single not by choice right now, single because the guy I was with couldn't get past his lieing capabilties.
I don't really know what I am looking for in a man except some great conversation and honesty, after that who knows where it will lead, no expecatations anymore.
Been through 2- 8 yr relationships back to back and what I honesty miss the most is having adult conversation.
I guess Im kinda green to the single life and not sure what to expect from men lately | |
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| For the Men Over 30
Posted: 5/14/2005 1:13:35 PM | why are men over 30 single and no kids.. 2 picky, not interested in getting into a relationship. waiting for the perfect one..
Im just kinda weiry of men when they are like 35, single. never lived with a female, and no kids.. Can you please shed some light on this for me..
______________________________________________________________________________
Ok For Me it is Very Different,and I am sure other guys like me at 35 can relate to the same situation.First of all.I Never been Married.Secondly,I dont have any Kids,But Want to when the Girl Next Door Comes Along,But to me Looks Arent just Everything,Its womans personality.
And there are Hoards of Women out there who have very low self esteem about themselves.
3 Woman Associates they take me out dancing,Im sitting at the table all alone drinking frosty beverages,do I get offered to dance with any three of those ladies even if I approach them and ask "Will You Dance With Me?" No,Why?
Because They tell the Man/Me"Sorry,but We are just Friends"
and dance with other total stranger men
then later on that evening either end up going to his place or going to hers for a little nightcap and one-night stand.
Us Men Are Not too Picky as Women Are
For Me,Im not a jealous self centered guy always thinking about my family member ~lol~
it is the women out there that because they label us men as "Just as friends"
they dont allow us any chance into there hearts,mind,body,soul.
I Believe there is somebody out there for everybody.
With Movie Like "Sleepless in Seattle" and "You Got Mail"
it May seem Like a Fairy Tale Fantasy,
But it Can Happen to Anybody that Believes in Finding there Destiny,Without losing any hope.
If We all Became Positive and Happy in This Day and Age and Not Beat the crap out of Each other
making love and not war..we would not have a very high divorce rate
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| For the Men Over 30
Posted: 5/14/2005 1:19:03 PM | | Well...since you're green to it. I suggest that you be very careful in your choices. Remember that eventhough you are looking for someone to be with you, he has to want that life you have right now. Never expect anything but honesty, if he can't give you that straight up...move on. Good luck in your search and I hope you find what your looking for. | |
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| For the Men Over 30
Posted: 5/14/2005 1:21:07 PM | | to sweet ans sassy i dont know about anyone else but i didnt find it insulting in anyway,i think these are the kinda?'s we all need to be asking and answering as different genders so then we can all write a hand book for up and coming over 30's! | |
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| For the Men Over 30
Posted: 5/14/2005 1:47:38 PM | | Well thank you and I certainly will be on my toes in my new venture. And yeah Im a package and they need to deal wth it, my kids and life came first, but nothng stopping me from adding to my busy schedule for the right person.. ot some grat feedback from you guys and was well appreciated.. | |
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| For the Men Over 30
Posted: 5/14/2005 1:49:08 PM | | agreed Shaun, We should all help each other out..Single over 30 for dummies handbook.. I wll buy a copy for sure..lol | |
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| For the Men Over 30
Posted: 5/14/2005 2:27:31 PM | Some chapters in that book:
- "Dust in your floor? Why is better to live in a home than in a laboratory"
- "Practical uses of hoarded stuff"
- "Cooking: It's easy"
- "The mistery of missing socks"
- "99 ways to iron a shirt"
- "Dirt is not so heavy, if you take your glasses out"
- "Power tools: They're cool" | |
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| For the Men Over 30
Posted: 5/14/2005 5:12:28 PM |
OK here is a question, why are men over 30 single and no kids.. 2 picky, not interested in getting into a relationship. waiting for the perfect one..
Im just kinda weiry of men when they are like 35, single. never lived with a female, and no kids.. Can you please shed some light on this for me..
Never felt mature enough to deal with kids and provide for their needs. I did have good
jobs but I just was a big kid myself. I needed to grow up to do the job right.
Jeff | |
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| For the Men Over 30
Posted: 5/14/2005 11:18:26 PM | Just a quick response from a shy honest man with four children that live with me. I spent over 13 years of my life working very hard to please my (ex)-wife, giving her everything being the best father I could. Then just to have my heart ripped from my chest and stommped on when I found out she was cheating on me. It a longer story then that but I am very, very cautious because of that. Also, not being in the single world for a long long time, It is a new venture. With me it's knowing what you had, good and/or bad and wanting to have something that makes life good for both involved. Besides your past, sex and the thought of future relationships.
Take Care,
Me | |
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| For the Men Over 30
Posted: 5/15/2005 10:10:45 AM | men 30ish ????
well, i'm a guy who is 40ish....
i've been single since january-05 and its been very good for me.....
women are plentiful and living in a small city mixing/hanging out with women in their 30ish is awesome, with or with out kids.
i hear about dudes all the time how they are not like me or they are not settled down enough to want to be involved with a women with kids and all that.....
i remember when i was in my 30ish and got married for all the wrong reasons.
i was still to into myself......and how i needed more time for me only and i had to come first and above all. (yada yada yada)
back then for me.....i wanted to make more money, i needed more time to work out and look good, i wanted the perfect house and drive hot cars/bikes/boats and all the other boy toys that money can buy happiness.
then have the perfect girlfriend/wife.
part II below | |
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| For the Men Over 30
Posted: 5/15/2005 10:12:06 AM | all of the above are all wrong for men, if they want to have a forever relationship with a women.
i'm way way way different now and maybe women who are in their late 20ish or in their 30ish should be with a guy who is 10+ years older ???
i'm a very lucky man for my age....i pass off at times as a young 30ish to mid/late dude....i love it !
i'm not perfect, but i'm happy as hell to still look 30ish and be done with all the boy toys and can accept how women are not perfect as well.
full package women or not.....i see my self getting into another relationship again with a younger women and we both enjoy each other company !
WhuT i'm saying is......i have a better sense of balance now and know how or what to give to a women who are hunting for men in their 30ish....
if this dont make any sense to this thread, then what do i know.....ehhhh ???? | |
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| For the Men Over 30
Posted: 5/15/2005 11:14:14 AM | | No its makes perfect sense, thanks for the imput.. Appreciated | |
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| For the Men Over 30
Posted: 5/15/2005 11:19:13 AM | Well I have read all the views here and I have to admit alot is true about how picky people can be when choosing a mate. There are other reasons why some of us do not have children before or even after 30. There are lots of Men & women out there that are unable to produce a child by natural methods, but only with the help of doctors. Its nothing to be ashame about, just the way God must have planned it.
For me personally knowing this earlier on I focus my energy on my home & career first thinking that love will follow. I almost married twice-but for good reasons did not with the help of councling. I am not afraid of being married and would like to still have my day, but I truly believe if you can't get communicate with each other or there is no chemistry then one should not get married. I realize there are PIGS out there that cheat or have ulterior motives and really now how to throw in the monkey wrench and screw it all up
I think marriage these days is not like what our grand parents went through. Seems all to superficial to me and why people are getting devorce is that they are rushing to get married just so they can have sex ( if they are christians) or just not knowing a person first with several years of friendship first and looking into longterm relationships before marriage.
Nothing wrong with waiting for the perfect one. I don't want to ever experience a devorce!!
I guess a lot people say that before they get married...lol I don't have the answers I just observe what some of my devorced friends have gone through along with some relatives. | |
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Shaps
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Joined: 4/23/2005
Msg: 48 | |
| For the Men Over 30
Posted: 5/15/2005 2:41:22 PM | I think I am not sure to take, is that every since I turned 30, I get more messages from women in their 40's.
I don't really care, but sometimes they just jump on me and start stating how lonely they are and how they haven't had sex in a long time.
That topic of discussion isn't what I really like talking about as I don't want to feel like I am a cure to a problem they want solved so quickly | |
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| For the Men Over 30
Posted: 5/15/2005 8:44:28 PM | I've never really heard of men that haven't been in a serious relationship by age 35. Is this really a big problem?
Some sort of epidemic that I've yet to notice? | |
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| For the Men Over 30
Posted: 5/16/2005 4:56:36 AM |
sweetnsassy34
No its makes perfect sense, thanks for the imput.. Appreciated
hey sweet....are you from GTA ???
what’s your opinion on this then......and if your from Toronto....
i recently meet this gorgeous 25 year old women a few nights ago.....(i’m assuming she's 25/26)
anyway....we went out for a drive, i kept my distance as far as i can from her with respect to flirting/touching and so on and so forth.
i kept the conversation going and she was do a really good job as well.
my point is....she made moves on me and she is also interested in seeing me again.
i told her that i have an interest with a women but she ignored everything that i was explaining to her.
my question to you is....how do toronto women feel about dating older men mainly in their 40sih ?
does this make older men a pervert ? all because a women in their 20ish cannot find a man in the 30ish to be mentally developed like a 40ish man ?
just asking
danny | |
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