| For the Men Over 30
Posted: 1/2/2009 11:42:49 AM | | Maybe these guys are watching others and they don't want to go through the same things as their buddies did. Maybe they are being cautious as they have not met the right one. Sounds smart to me, no sense in just settling. | |
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| For the Men Over 30
Posted: 1/2/2009 2:04:00 PM | I totally understand your being wary, most guys probably haven't grown up yet, still in college, they embarrass the rest of us.
But many of us out there for 1), use condoms, yeah crazy huh? Why bring a child into the world if not ready & , 2) have respect for Marriage, My folks are still together & i only want to get married once, Kind of a crazy concept in our divorce happy society, i know. I have lived with plenty of chicks & it is not because i am afraid of relationships or kids, (lived with an Ex who had a 2yr old & loved being a dad!) nor am i afraid of settling down. i am looking for a partner in life, a best friend & not just a status symbol, I will not be told by society that i have to be married as soon as i graduate college or before i am 30. Too many people rush "to meet deadlines". "why is there always time enough to do it again, but not enough time to do it right?" I like that quote & it applies to all of life. I have my whole life to live & feel that people need to wait a bit & be mature/stable emotionally. To be @ a place to be selfless & not selfish in order to raise a child. How many people who are 30 or over are divorced (once or twice) & have (multiple) kids? (no disrespect meant, just stating facts). The question is not if, but how many. Yeah, that's the person i want to be with! The Third time is the Charm & full of baggage/hassles. Plus i have to suffer for some other guys faults/mistakes & that is not fair to me nor the current relationship.
TO BE FAIR...women feel that same about guys, it just depends on which gender you are, that determines how you view the situation is all. I am sure that we can all agree that most people in general are nitwits & need to mature a bit.
"It's easy to bring someone into the world, but hard to carry them through it" its an original, feel free to use it.
Peace & love,
E | |
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| For the Men Over 30
Posted: 1/2/2009 5:35:30 PM | ha ha ~ so true ~ but once the Daddy in you kicks in ~ it gets easier!
and I'd admit ~ That time is different for every man. It's a natural thing ~ but when it happens ? and thats sad.
Dance | |
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| For the Men Over 30
Posted: 1/2/2009 6:05:12 PM | | I think for myself I just don't see that I was able to take care of a family when I was younger. I am not waiting till I'm rich I don't think I will ever be rich. I want to be able to provide for my family and not live paycheck to paycheck. I also know I was not mature enough in my 20's. I turned 35 in November I do not date if I don't see the possibility of a long term relationship. I like to have fun but, I am too old to play games if you know what I mean. | |
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| For the Men Over 30
Posted: 1/3/2009 7:25:24 AM |
I think for myself I just don't see that I was able to take care of a family when I was younger. I am not waiting till I'm rich I don't think I will ever be rich. I want to be able to provide for my family and not live paycheck to paycheck. I also know I was not mature enough in my 20's. I turned 35 in November I do not date if I don't see the possibility of a long term relationship. I like to have fun but, I am too old to play games if you know what I mean.
A thoughtful man!
At 35 ~ you still have time on your side
this edge ~ deminishes as time maches forward
and you views will change again! regarding what you have the ability to see.
You will someday find it's the women ~ that have control of the money and all the sweet stuff!
You will find ~ you are looking for a master to serve and gladly do so!
Looking for a master ~ is a difficult process.
Till then ~ enjoy your search ~ and get the many adventures behind you.
Dance | |
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| For the Men Over 30
Posted: 1/3/2009 8:29:13 PM | | I lived my life, partied, drank, now I am 34 and I am looking for a LTR but not at the expense of my sanity. I MUST find a woman who can give as much as she takes and not read too much into my lack of plant skills. The plant is ALIVE, lol. | |
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| For the Men Over 30
Posted: 1/3/2009 8:45:05 PM | | Well, I'm gona be 31 in a few weeks. I'm not married and I have no kids. I'm not picky, in fact I have a lot to offer. I just haven't found the right one for me yet. I'm not giving up though. | |
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| For the Men Over 30
Posted: 1/4/2009 6:04:26 AM | | I've heard that before (about women being weary of this) and I can only speak for myself in that I've just never met anyone or didn't follow through sometimes when I should have and also I was on nights 8pm to 8am for over 30 years so there really is no social life on those shifts. When I first got the job on nights I was dating a girl and one of the reasons I took the job was because it was a higher paying job and thought that if we ever did decide to get married and we had talked about it then we would be better off financially. The result was she broke up with me. I think her mother had a lot to do with it because when I started on nights her mother called me and said "What about your social life now." | |
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| For the Men Over 30
Posted: 1/4/2009 9:58:20 AM |
Maybe these guys are watching others and they don't want to go through the same things as their buddies did. Maybe they are being cautious as they have not met the right one. Sounds smart to me, no sense in just settling
That's me. I'm the last of my HS and college friends to not get married. I've seen many of my buddies take huge financial losses, including their home (in this marriage his wife cheated on him!). Roughly half got divorced and I'm only 32. In each case, the courts proved they haven't realized it's no longer 1939 and women can now actually go to school, find jobs and even rewarding careers. No way, I'm in any hurry to get into this mess. When I do. A pre-nup will be mandatory. I wasn't always a school teacher. | |
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| For the Men Over 30
Posted: 1/5/2009 6:24:24 AM | | I meet the criteria of the OP. I would have loved to find the right person a long time ago. Only, for the past 12 years I've been jumping from job to job, country to country, frequently living in places where I don't know the language. When you start to get to know someone and like them, dropping a "and I'm leaving the country to move to the other side of the planet, in a country where you have no hope of getting a job and it's doubtful you could even get a long-term visa to visit" really puts a damper on things. The good news is it looks like I can stay in my current location long term. Social sanity is rapidly setting in and it's nice. | |
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| For the Men Over 30
Posted: 1/5/2009 8:05:44 AM | | If they are then it isn't by design they may have some issue that don't come out in an e-mail or im. Maybe they choose not to be in a commited relationship and there isn't anything wrong with that. Now the answer to your first question is the reason why they are so picky is they are rare but, they think they are rare in a good way. So they might put themselves on a higher pedestal than the 35 yr old man with six kids who would you rather have. | |
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| For the Men Over 30
Posted: 6/28/2009 12:40:47 PM | "Just seems strange that there are some great men out there and can't understand why they are single" - sweetnsassy34 (original poster)
Why are they single, cause they are usually getting passed over for the "cool, edgy hot guy who knows all the right things to say and do" And yet I constantly, and I mean constantly hear women QQ'ing about how they can never find a nice guy and all the men they date are a**holes.
Because nice guys don't know all the right things to say, or do. We aren't edgy or cool. We are real.
The guys who do know all the right things to say and do are players, the proverbial a**holes. They have plenty of experience at sweeping women off their feet, using them and tossing them aside.
Next time, just give the nerd a chance. It's not his job to wow you, or impress you, or make you fall in love with him. It is his job to be himself, to be honest, and to respect you. | |
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| For the Men Over 30
Posted: 6/28/2009 8:25:27 PM | | I wish there were more women over 30 like this. I quite frankly don't see it as a bad thing. Anyone can settle. | |
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| For the Men Over 30
Posted: 6/28/2009 8:39:11 PM | | Have found a few women that I'd like to spend the rest of my life with, but for some reason or another..... | |
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| For the Men Over 30
Posted: 6/30/2009 1:28:28 AM | " that I'd like to spend the rest of my life with"
is thinking rationally like an intelligent adult, a responsible maker of informed choices.
" ... the right one"
is thinking like a child, who dreams on in a world of fairy tales where things are not intelligent choices but are miraculous unpredictable events that just happen to you. | |
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| For the Men Over 30
Posted: 6/30/2009 3:22:46 AM | "Just seems strange that there are some great men out there and can't understand why they are single" - sweetnsassy34 (original poster)
Why are they single, cause they are usually getting passed over for the "cool, edgy hot guy who knows all the right things to say and do" And yet I constantly, and I mean constantly hear women QQ'ing about how they can never find a nice guy and all the men they date are a**holes.
Because nice guys don't know all the right things to say, or do. We aren't edgy or cool. We are real.
The guys who do know all the right things to say and do are players, the proverbial a**holes. They have plenty of experience at sweeping women off their feet, using them and tossing them aside.
Next time, just give the nerd a chance. It's not his job to wow you, or impress you, or make you fall in love with him. It is his job to be himself, to be honest, and to respect you.
^^^^this.
My story: I could be called tall dark and handsome but I was a scrawny bugger the bigger part of my life (until I got off my butt and gained muscle) and thusly I felt insecure that I wasn't "manly" enough for the type of women I desired. Compound it with the fact I was the different kid in school who got picked on, you end up with really shy guy really wanting to find love but chokes up when he meets any attractive candidates. 
Well, not so much anymore. I've found I was fretting over nothing. My excuse these days is my location, my night job and that I'm just picky and cautious. And the important fact is that I want, not need, a relationship. Ya, my esteem is up there and I know I'm a good catch because I grew up knowing what it feels like to be hurt. I refuse to be one of "them". | |
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| For the Men Over 30
Posted: 6/30/2009 4:57:34 AM | You know honestly I feel pretty damn picky myself. Why? I have no damn clue. I was in some pretty long term relationships. One of which I bought a ring, intended to marry and the other I felt was my true partner. As time goes on though I learn more and more about myself and what I thought I felt or believed. It's a rare thing though because when your 33 like myself and you want kids, and one person to settle down with, women think your full of crap! You get looked at like your just trying to bs them.
As you get older and go through life, your emotions, feelings and desires tend to still be there. It just takes certain people to pick them up and certain people to twist them into twenty directions. I guess the solution is, don't give up on your real dream because somewhere out there, it's waiting. | |
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| For the Men Over 30
Posted: 8/3/2009 5:52:28 PM | | Well here's my take oh sassy one lol. I'm 46 happy , healthy & good looking .I'm not gay or psycho. I've never been married , yet been engaged , raised other womens children & loved them as my own. am loved by my friends & family & highly regarded for giving advice to such. I'm intelligent , compassionate & passionate with the vigor & labido of a 21 year old. I get asked out a lot , but only go with few. Quality over quantity has been my life story.My Grandfather had 21 kids & my mom got married @ 16 to get out of the house & had me. My dad was a James Dean look alike that was 25 with six girlfriends , a wife & four kids. By six my father dis owned all four of us kids. My mom struggled to make ends meet & it was trialo & errror I assure you! I saw my mom get used by men figuring who could want a woman with so much baggage ?This is where I feel my respect for women emerged , I was that kid that endured & lived the life of welfare , never having much & told by everyone I'd never amount to anything. Well I wore protection , so I wouldn't accidentally make a me, a confused kid that never felt loved or appreciated.I am now successful in my own right & like me , as a a man , a brother ,a son & the most true friend you could ever hope to have. I feel thas' why I wear my heart on my sleeve & try to fix whatever I can for a womabn with a sad story. Kind of makes me open for another heartbreak as they always go back to how & what they were. My heart aches for the child that has no say in their own life , but get drug along like a pet. Ok thas enough about my life! harry | |
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| For the Men Over 30
Posted: 8/3/2009 7:05:10 PM | to me i would think it is wonderful if somebody that does not have kids...it shows they are responsible and he is disciplined...would you rather have amen with four kids and three different women ? have high expectations and you will get better...the older we get the more selective we become...good luck | |
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| For the Men Over 30
Posted: 8/3/2009 7:39:35 PM | | I'm 33 and will have been single for two years this September after a 4 year marriage and nearly 8 years together. I'm not a bit afraid of commitment and would love to find the right woman who wants the same. Don't put us all in the same bucket. ;) | |
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| For the Men Over 30
Posted: 8/3/2009 7:42:27 PM | I am 43, single , never married and no kids.
I have spent a good portion of the last 16 yrs of my life driving forward in my career.
I now have money, power, and no time to build a solid relationship.
The irony is I went after money and power to attract women.
This is actually quite a valid reason and probably applies to a lot of men in my situation.
Now I need you to explain to me why women my age have never been married and have no kids. Guys don't give a rats ass whether or not a woman has money and power. | |
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| For the Men Over 30
Posted: 8/4/2009 5:42:03 AM | | sorry. i cant shed any light on the question. players or somthing. who knows. i was married for 10 yrs. i loved my wife. she loved cheating. it was her GAME she liked to play or somthing. i met another girl and was with her for 8 yrs. she hated my daughter. she wanted me, her and her 2 kids. not my daughter. now im 37. single with a daughter that lives with me. not her mother. i didnt ask for this. this is what i was handed. dating over 30 sucks if you are not rich. all you get are big girls or big ugly girls. neither of those are appealing to me. wish i could win the lottery! | |
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| For the Men Over 30
Posted: 8/8/2009 2:53:19 AM | | OP, I'm not interested in starter marriages, rearing kids in a broken home, or paying alimony/child support. Therefore, I err on the side of caution when thinking about getting hitched. Plus, I don't care if my life is "on schedule", I'm still having fun being single, and I'm picky when selecting the person I'll be spooning for the next 50 years. | |
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| For the Men Over 30
Posted: 8/8/2009 3:13:44 PM | I'm 39, no kids, never been married, never lived with a female and I'm completely happy!
It's really a personal chose. I'm not afraid to be married or live with a female, I'm even open to having kids.
But up until now I've been able to have a great career, make money and do whatever I want when I please and not have to worry about being tied into a relationship or being married and having kids.
Things have changed now that I feel good about my career and my finances. | |
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| For the Men Over 30
Posted: 8/8/2009 5:54:24 PM | I have lived with a few women in my day. I can safely say I am waiting for the right one. I don't want to be one of those people that get married and are divorced a few months later. Finding a match these days though is like pulling teeth.
Actually just try to get somone to go for coffee in a public place is like pulling teeth. So I think this is not jsut a problem with the men, I think women need to start giving us guys a chance and get up from behind that computer and meet us in person. | |
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