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| For the Men Over 30
Posted: 8/8/2009 6:23:09 PM | i lived with a woman for 10 yrs and one for 2 yrs i never got married or had kids!! and im over 30, and havent live with my parents since i was 16. there no reason to have a piece of paper for me to tell you that i love you that much more, it's a ton of money to get ( well there is cheap ways), and a ton of money to get rid of. thats why i never got married. im not cheap , i would just like it to be just right for her.when we did save up a bunch of money we always went somewhere with it. life's to short | |
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| For the Men Over 30
Posted: 8/8/2009 7:54:41 PM | Honestly, there are probably quite a few reasons for me. These are listed relatively close to their priority.
1. I came very close to marrying the wrong one, and after seeing just how easily that
could happen I am much more cautious. That does not mean I wouldn't, that just
means I would have to get to know her very well, thru the storms and stress, so to
speak.
2. I spent a great deal of time traveling, and I never lied to myself about it; I knew that
it would be a waste of time to get into a relationship at the time, simply because I
could not be there enough to make it much of a relationship.
3. Traveling has taught me that the quality of woman may be somewhat
geographic/cultural. Not to overly generalize, I am sure there are exceptions
to every rule.
4. I did not want to have kids. Some women try to get pregnant just to get what they
want. I like kids, they usually like me, but I did not and do not want to have any of
my own. Someone else's, no problem. My choice. Nowdays, I think a lot of
people are unaware that the real "Green Revolution" problem is NOT just
emissions and all that, it is OVER-POPULATION.
5. A lot of times, I see someone's profile, start reading, and everthing seems to look
great, then I come to the religious nut line or the line that says she is a smoker. I
make no exceptions for either. If you want to go to a coffee shop to meet, leave
me out of it, that has got to be the most boring thing someone could have ever
have thought of to do!  I do what I need to do to keep my weight resonable,
and expect the same in a potential mate.
Maybe I am selective, but I don't think I am unreasonably so.
Footnote: In a relatively funny exception to the comment in number four, my brother-
in-law poked a hole in the rubber, got my younger sister pregnant, so she would
marry him. They are still married and seem to be happily married!  | |
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| For the Men Over 30
Posted: 8/8/2009 9:08:23 PM | I'd rather be with the right person no matter how long the wait than to wind up with the wrong person, a couple of screwed up kids and divorced. . . People's exhibit #1: Jon and Kate.
Only in their case it's eight screwed up kids instead of a couple.
I rest my case.
I just feel bad for everyone who decided not to be picky and wound up with alchoholics for spouses. | |
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| For the Men Over 30
Posted: 8/9/2009 5:16:02 PM | | I dont have kids because it just didnt happen, I like kids and I wanted kids, but after being in a dead end marriage for awhile(9 yrs, together 12), I just got to where I was pretty sure I didnt want kids with that person. Such as life I guess, maybe I'm shootin' blanks, I dont know. | |
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| For the Men Over 30
Posted: 8/9/2009 5:31:21 PM | for 41 years of my life I can recall a sinlge solitary evening where I thought it might be nice to have kids.
Despite people telling me I would want kids someday, it still hasnt happen.
Some people just do not want kids. I think what is strange is people who find that bizzare | |
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| For the Men Over 30
Posted: 8/10/2009 10:12:48 AM | | At this point, for reasons that have been stated often in this thread, it is totally illogical for ANY American man to get married. Most women leave their husbands and take the kids and a whole bunch of money, as evidenced by this website. | |
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| For the Men Over 30
Posted: 8/10/2009 7:47:37 PM | | Because there smart. lol I have a child & am devorced. | |
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| For the Men Over 30
Posted: 8/16/2009 10:23:15 PM | I was thinking of replying, but... why bother? YOu will assume and think whatever you will. Nothing anyone can say will move you so...
Yes, you are right. We over 35 guys are all losers! You and all women our age, are doomed! Mwahahahahahahahahahaha!
BEWARE!!! BEWARE!!! BEWARE the 35 year old unattached, never married male!!!
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| For the Men Over 30
Posted: 8/17/2009 2:48:39 PM | First,
Finding the right one, is a pain in the ass. Why should we have to settle, especially when women rarely settle. The first thing that bothers them, or if they see some other dude who has more cash, etc, grass is greener on the other side scenario, then she is gone. It's not even a matter of fulfilling or not fulfilling her needs. That is a TWO way street, and with "equality" being the way it is, especially so.
Women leave for someone else from an otherwise perfect relationship for the following simple reasons:
1. Another guy/girl answers a question that she could not answer and/or her spouse could not provide an answer or an answer that she would like.
2. Someone else looks better, or because she is bored with being happy, so wants to stir things up and make it "exciting".
3. There is no mystery anymore. She has decided that she knows everything she wants to know about you and thus the mystery has been solved in her mind, there is no more reason to stay --- off to solve another mystery.
4. She met someone who she thinks she loves through infatuation, and that's all it is, infatuation (as it most likely was with you).
These answers are generally what women mean by the following statements made by women:
"You don't understand"
"You never listen"
"You never do xxxxxxx"
"You never ...."
A lot of negative generalized obviously false statements, but the undertones are not meaningless, yet the undertone statement is never actually clearly communicated.
Stuff like "I don't love you anymore" means "I've been ****ing someone else for the past 2 years behind your back"
I don't nor will I ever profess to even begin to understand that other species we call "women", as they are confusing, deceitful, sneaky, lying, gossiping, and two-faced (aka, a guy can't spend the night out with the guys, but a woman is allowed no problems ? ... don't think it works like that... playing field should be even, and it's not... never has been.) ... The playing field will always be slighted in woman's favor until men stand up and can say no to them as often as they say no to us. It's as simple as that. | |
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| For the Men Over 30
Posted: 8/17/2009 7:02:18 PM | I am 47, single, never married and no children.. My life's history answers this question for me.
1) From my late teens until 29 I worked fishing boats in the Gulf of mexico and coastal tugs on the Eastern sea board. Not the kind of employment that women my age, at that time, desired for a mate to have. So, I found "cougars" at a time before most knew what it meant to date women 10 to 20 years their senior. Being on the water for 2 weeks then home for 1 or 2 weeks through out the year, these types of relationships suited my situation.
2) In 1991 I got off the water. From 30 to 40 I had a series of 1 year relationships. These often included living together. During this time there were 3 abortions. 1 for health reasons and the relationship ended. 1 for FAS and the relationship ended and 1 that was done without telling me and out of spite. And I ended the relationship.
3) During this period,of 9 years I buried myself in building a business and put my focus on that. Often the women I dated didn't like not being the center of my attention. I was often attracted to thier "girlish charm" and mistook that for the true immaturity it was.
4) Since turning 40 I put the whole idea of children aside.
Mybe this is too late in this thread to post but what the hey.
I've learned that it's simply about spending time with some one that I enjoy spending time with....and it should be mutual. | |
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| For the Men Over 30
Posted: 8/17/2009 8:33:53 PM | In this day and age, women have ruined marriage. With the advent of no-fault divorce and a 50-50 divorce rate, it makes more sense to stay single! When a man marries a woman, he doesn't just marry HER....and he just doesn't marry her family...he marries the state too. And you can bet your last dollar (because that's all you'll have at the end of it) it will be the STATE who will come after everything you ever owned or WILL own....The OP'S original assumption by her insistence that we over 30 can't commit betrays her presuppositions and tired cliches about men and committment. Please....Of COURSE we aren't going to commit to you!! Marriage is like a chinese finger trap and there ain't NO WAY I'm stickin' my fingers in THAT.
This is not written by a man who is divorced. This is written by a man who made it through the girlfriend gambit of my 20s, and purely by the grace of God and dumb luck did I make it through without getting some girl pregnant or married. Now, I see things much clearer and I can take advantage of my circumstances as a single, stable and clear-thinking man to recognize how great staying single is in this day and age as well as recognize how miserable my married (and divorced) friends are. I know I am a great catch, why in the world would I NOT be picky about who I'm going to give up half my sh*t to when we get divorced at the business end of a court judgment? | |
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| For the Men Over 30
Posted: 10/1/2009 8:33:16 PM | | sure...they are smart. they didn't follow the rest of the crowd...get married in their twenties...divorced by 35. smart men. they can afford to be very picky. | |
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| For the Men Over 30
Posted: 10/2/2009 1:40:10 PM | I'm kind of "weiry" of women who can't spell.
I think you're mixing up "Being WEARY" with "I'm LEERY of" and "I'm WARY."
So I only like dating edumacated wominz, is that sich a bahd thang? | |
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| For the Men Over 30
Posted: 10/3/2009 5:35:08 AM | Here's my opinion....
1)No kids after 30?
I myself will not have a child until I find the right person, which I haven't, and until we are BOTH reasonably ready mentally, financially, and spiritually.
2)Too Picky?
Some are. Some are looking for the perfect one but won't find it. Others, are looking for someone to fit the basic criteria and haven't even found that yet.
3)Alot of us have lived with someone, only to find that person wasn't who they said they were or things just went bad for one reason or another. This makes us careful. | |
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| For the Men Over 30
Posted: 10/3/2009 4:51:55 PM | This thread is dumb.
There is nothing wrong with +30 men, as a matter of fact they might be the smart ones.
Kids are expensive, time consuming and stressful. It's merely something you are either all about or not. Simple as that. I'm glad I didn't raise a kid during my 20's because I probably would have been a crappy parent.
I have numerous friends who have recently gone through a divorce. I don't wish I was able to go through something like that. The two long term relationships I've had were difficult enough to get over, let alone a divorce.
I simply haven't met the write person yet. The originator of this posts is probably not someone I would ever get along with because she seems to be implying that NOT living life the hard way is somehow lame.
I believe the opposite. Too many people jump into marriage and child rearing far too early for it to be good for the overall morale, mental health, stability and intelligence of our society..... | |
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| For the Men Over 30
Posted: 10/4/2009 1:07:20 AM | Let me see
I'm 33 nearly 34,single, no kids and haven't been in a relationship for a while. People tell me I'm good looking etc etc and I don't think there is anything wrong with me. Unfortunately Gold Coast woman is whats wrong. My job (taxi driver) doesn't pay real well and takes up a lot of my time 2am-2pm days 5 days a week. And usually on my days off I just like to relax and hate the clubbing and pub scene So finding a good woman is very hard and woman don't usually appreciate asked out in the taxi
when asked with what I do? first question after that is do you own it? Well after they find out I don't own usually they leave/ Woman tend to see the $$$ and not the person. I have just realised I'm not getting any younger and have recently asked quite a few woman out, but see this is where I am different. I usually leave a rhyming note just asking out for a coffee... for eg:
If you are free , come out for a coffee, if not throw away the letter you have got
or something similiar, and not once have I received a text or call. ok this is a world of weirdos and psychos, but I'm not out to kill or maim. I'm just out to have a nice time with a woman who I find attractive. I am a little different in the way I do things I suppose and I am really sick of ppl thinking I'm gay. I'm out to do something nice for a woman and now they find old school unusual or weird. So until a woman appreciates how I do things I will always be single... | |
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| For the Men Over 30
Posted: 10/4/2009 3:10:32 PM | Because women are not raised to be emotionally healthy, and eventually that catches up with them. And sometimes we fall in love with the wrong person, and get blindsided by things we have no control over.
And after fighting pointlessly for too long to keep my family, just barely being able to keep my house, and being put in a position where I am worse off than I was 5 years ago, I don't ever want that to happen again. | |
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| For the Men Over 30
Posted: 10/4/2009 4:23:45 PM | | Why am I 31, single, and have no kids? Well, I don't have any kids because I have morals. I don't believe in having kids out of wedlock. I'm not married because, unlike so many other people, I understand that marriage is a life long commitment and I haven't found the perfect woman who I want to spend the rest of my life with yet. I'm not going to settle for the wrong woman just because I'm getting older. | |
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| For the Men Over 30
Posted: 10/4/2009 10:47:37 PM | | Well the way it is with me is about the same as you i am recently single and this time i am going to be a little more picky and find a women and get to know who she is and not just the physical things thats where i made my mistake the last time the way i see it why jump head first i have the rest of my life to find whats right for me this whole online thing is ok but i have learned to listen real closely to these women some not all just say what they think you want to hear and that winds up to be a waste of time however i do like the whole profile viewing part you can really narrow it down | |
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| For the Men Over 30
Posted: 10/5/2009 11:46:44 AM | When you judge men that are in their thirties and have not been married or no children you need to remember that most women who are approaching that age have been too busy the last ten years going to college or university, working part-time jobs, studying all the time and yes, even partying hard at the clubs. Women today are too busy to settle down and get married, have kids. They have education and careers that need attending. Thats why the average age of marriages has risen over the last few decades. ( And divorce rates have sky-rocketed).
Womens expectations has risen as well. No woman wants to settle for bachelor #2. (Funny how bachelor #1 never turns out to last even if acheived). The "Hollywood Type" is the only alternative it seems. Every day we are told through the media that women do not need men. Feminist types loudly proclaim this. I believe them now...
So, whats left? Women do not need us for our money because they have their own, along with the condo and sports truck or was that a Harley? They have their demanding careers and busy lives as it is. What could they possibly need us men for? Would'nt we just be a distraction to them acheiving their goals and if they were to take the plunge with someone, how perfect has that guy got to be for them to take the risk?
So, they go on with their lives, day by day , studying, working, each day getting older. Waiting for perfection to come knocking.
Gee... you women must be pretty confused right now. Lol | |
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| For the Men Over 30
Posted: 10/5/2009 10:45:02 PM | This thread appears to be a gallery for women to look at, so I'll just say no further!
~sc~ | |
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| For the Men Over 30
Posted: 10/8/2009 7:57:56 AM | This takes a bit of explanation, so be patient. Growing up, until I was 4, my dad worked 2-3 jobs, so I never saw him, then again from 10-14, my dad's GI Bill was about to expire so he went to school AND worked full time. So for eight years growing up I had no father figure, when he was home he was asleep. I swore to myself I would not do that to a child. The other situation that contributed to my decisions was that I had cousins that were in poverty, again another thing I did not want to put someone thru.
When I graduated High School, there were no jobs. So I joined the service, moved around too much, got hit by the train producing the light at the end of the tunnel. Then spent 7 years below the poverty line in a bigoted town where if you were in poverty it was because you deserved it, not because of chance, bad luck, no good paying jobs, etc. Finally got a good job but could not find the right woman. Lost that job because I started college, and thus another 2 years below the poverty line. Again I got a good job, but full time college and full time work, no time to properly cultivate a relationship. Graduated college, moved to a less bigoted town, got a better job, labeled with "confirmed bachelor/not marriage material". Relationships since then have been a bad mix of "Rebound Guy", missed cues, and just plain bad chemistry. Contributing to this is an engineering mindset putting me at a social disadvantage and new town where I did not know where to look.
I have always wanted a family, biological kids. I want to pass on my life lessons, but due to some of my limitations and some narrow minded women, it appears that my dream is going to be crushed. I am not even looking for Miss Right, I am looking for Miss Close and am willing to work hard the make a relationship last.
Ok, now that you have made me ruin attitude, I have to step back, put my head back on straight, and get rid of this bad energy. I know she is out there, I just have to keep looking, keep working on my social skills, keep expanding my interests. | |
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