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| For the Men Over 30
Posted: 10/16/2009 11:22:02 AM |
man123 wrote: Im 35 single no kids never married, cant say I envy my friends and guys I see around me who have the whole marriage, kids thing going on. Completley under the thumb, they never get to do what they want to do, they got to be in by a certain time, they get told how to spend their own money. Most guys who are married with kids in my experience are not truly happy with their lifes. Men need freedom, women want to keep tabs on us all the time, thats not what we are.
Yeah, a lot of married men are uxorious (synonyms: henpecked, pu$$ywhipped). Maybe they think if they don't do what the wife wants, then she'll pull a Lorena Bobbitt on him, I don't know. But any guy who's bringing home most of the bread (if not all of it), then he should be more in control at home. I live in redneck country and my ex-sister-in-law's husband is the one in control. They have separate bank accounts, so if she wants money for Wal-Mart, she has to use her own. In fact, that's why she's back to work. Unless a woman is good with money (saving it, not spending it), then separate checking accounts are a good thing. When my ex-sister-in-law was married to my brother, they'd go to Wal-Mart all the time. Then again, neither of them are very good with money. So I modify what I said. The one who's better with money should be the one holding the purse strings. Still, I think separate checking accounts are a good thing. I don't want to log on to see my bank statement and go "WTF?!?" | |
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| For the Men Over 30
Posted: 10/16/2009 12:03:14 PM | Street King raises a couple of important and interesting points. It used to be young women were encouraged to marry a man with sufficiently good character and with "potential". Sometimes it worked out for them, sometimes not. That's why they put the qualifying phrase "...or worse" in the wedding vows. When people are 20-ish (plus or minus), which is about the age at which people used to routinely marry back when marriages were long-lived and divorce was rare, you don't know exactly how it's gonna go for them.
Nowadays, women as well as men to a large extent do feel the man is already supposed to have attained the "better" part, to have established himself at least partly before marriage, so that he can give it to her and thus it becomes a guaranteed thing for her when she gets the man prize, because now she's worth it.
Of course this is less likely to work in practice, because by the time the men get securely established they're in their thirties (often well into them, or even into their forties) and the women their same age have ticking biological clocks, or already have kids, and are on the downside of their attractiveness as well as their fertility. In other words, what potential they had when they were 20-ish is largely gone. Thus they aren't quite as "worth it" to the men as they may think. The men are then understandably a little less enthusiastic about the bargain being proposed, which amounts to the man bringing more to the table than previously while she brings less. It doesn't help then when some women then try and twist this into there being something wrong with the guy. The divide widens even further and the whole process feeds back on itself spiraling down into a state where there are more singles than ever yet no one can find anyone suitable. | |
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| For the Men Over 30
Posted: 10/17/2009 2:50:32 PM | | I soooooooooooooo agree with that trappendon... Lets put some postive spins on some things... I see all my friends who were married in their twenties and at least 80 percent are divorced.. Once you get into your mid thirties.. you know what you want.. which is good and bad. Because you can seek and find.. or you can seek and see there isnt anything that is catching your eye. So it can be a double edge sword... being over thirty and single.. gives you a hand up on the situation because you know what you want.. but sometimes you wont budge to give..... So My solution is keep your values but you need to keep your identity with some compromise.... men can still be men and vice versa. Enjoy your independent times and then the time you are together it means more. k over and out | |
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| For the Men Over 30
Posted: 10/23/2009 11:17:16 AM | | The answer is : .......... women make it too difficult. A lot of us would like to settle down and have a family, but with the social values and legal structure we have, chances are that it is not going to happen. You just need to know one man who has gone through divorce and you are cured for the rest of your life. Nobody want to turn his life into living hell, so we keep on dating till we reach 85 or more; by then, it doesn't really matter anymore. | |
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| For the Men Over 30
Posted: 10/23/2009 6:21:56 PM | | il be happy to shed some thought on that, Im not goin to be with a person who has there life all messed up and take on a instant family, or there past mistakes in life, I worked hard in life like most to get to where we are and not about to work hard the rest of my life for someone elses mistakes, am looking to make life easier not harder nor am I looking for a handout Il easily hold my own and then some wish I could say that for most of women Ive chatted with. | |
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