| For the Men Over 30
Posted: 6/14/2005 1:20:14 AM | | i have no idea, im not really in that catagory but i am 34 single, and i would say if a guy is 35 single and never lived with a women ever,something funny about that. | |
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| For the Men Over 30
Posted: 6/14/2005 5:53:49 PM |
The first ingredient in Divorce is Marriage. Can't get one without it!
Buddy of mine use to say "There's only two ways out of marriage. Death and Divorce. Death is cheaper and less painful"  | |
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| For the Men Over 30
Posted: 6/14/2005 8:12:18 PM | [ OK here is a question, why are men over 30 single and no kids.. 2 picky, not interested in getting into a relationship. waiting for the perfect one..
Im just kinda weiry of men when they are like 35, single. never lived with a female, and no kids.. Can you please shed some light on this for me ]
I don't think there's one answer to that question. I'm 38, single, no kids, and get asked that question way too often. I mean, if I knew the answer, I wouldn't still be single right?
It's possible I emit a foul odor no one's told me about yet, but in my case I put career first all through my 20's, did live with someone (fought like cat and dog), almost got married, yada yada yada. Now I work from home, and don't get out enough. No conspiracy, not looking for a supermodel (any model will do), and just because someone hears the voice of Satan in his head, that doesn't make them a bad person, does it?
Seriously, I'm fairly normal. Gotta run, Mother is calling me... | |
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| For the Men Over 30
Posted: 6/14/2005 8:32:09 PM | I think it's wonderful that you have the insight into yourself to know what YOU want. As individuals we are the only one who can truly know what will make us happy, what we want and what we don't want. No one else has that insight. We have to be true to ourselves always. That includes whether we want children or we don't, and having the strength and courage to actually stand up and say I don't want kids, is nothing for you to ever be ashamed of.
Never settle, if you haven't met the right one for you, don't accept something less than what you really want, that doesn't make you picky, it makes you aware of your self.
I always wanted children, and I am blessed with great kids. I love being a mom, and I'm a proud mom. But that's my choice.
Everyone has the right to make their own choices, and stick with them.
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| For the Men Over 30
Posted: 6/15/2005 10:56:52 AM | My 2 cents about my situation:
I fell in love (or I think it was lust) with a girl at age 23 and lived with her until I was 26, it ended after both of us realized we were just in it for the sex and not each other. Result: 3 years and no children.
Second women that I had a serious relationship with was the girl I thought I would spend the rest of my life with. I was 29 and she was 29, we became friends and it evolved into love and we moved in together when we were 30. Shortly after we both turned 33 she told me she didn't love me anymore and was seeing someone else. Result: 4 years and no children
That last one hurt a bit and took a little time to get over until I was looking to date seriously again. So actually its not that I haven't lived with a women or been in a serious relationship, its just that I haven't found the right person to spend my life with yet. | |
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| For the Men Over 30
Posted: 6/15/2005 10:59:41 AM |
That includes whether we want children or we don't, and having the strength and courage to actually stand up and say I don't want kids, is nothing for you to ever be ashamed of.
"I’d like to have a kid…of course you have to have a date first" -- George Constanza
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| For the Men Over 30
Posted: 6/15/2005 11:48:35 AM | Well...actually let me post this question...
Do you know why divorce is sooo expensive?
'Cuz it's worth it! | |
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| For the Men Over 30
Posted: 6/15/2005 12:22:56 PM | One thing is that there is a group of us that were waiting for the right gal and the right career. I was always looking for a gal that was my age more than 2 years younger was too young.....my parents and grand parents were the same age......I think I was looking for a gal like-wise and maybe living in a rural area limited the selection. I had little use for gals that had frequent boyfriends, I didn't want someone that wasn't loyal (cheating), and that was all that I heard about on most of the gals that were single. I had (and still have) too much respect for a relationship to interfere with another's relationship as what ever comes around goes around. If you are in a relationship, you are unavailable as all I consider you as is a friend. That is probably one of my biggest hold-ups now, to get into a relationship you have to break up an existing relationship. You are generating anguish on the part of others in order to gain something that may or may not last....as someone out there is going to try to ruin your relationship if you get someone using that method.
Why put people through hell and generate more anger....enough of that in the world already...why perpetuate more?
Many of us guys that are in our 30s are single because we care too much for other's feelings. Some of us have gotten frustrated because of this as it has gotten us nowhere, this results in our being angry with the world around us and feeling jaded. A lot of guys say screw it .....it isn't worth effort to look for someone that isn't and never will be there.
Seeing people in relationships are a drain on us emotionally as we have no one to open up to, we hold this bitterness inside ourselves. It perpetuates itself, as we still care enough for others not to bring that anger to others, but the anger sometimes comes out and then people say "no wonder why they are single" or "that guy has issues". It is true, they are not being addressed like those that are in healthy relationships are (don't get me wrong there are a lot of unhealthy relationships out there in which issues are not dealt with..that is why the divorce rates and various types of abuse are so high).
Kind of frustrating isn't it, a lose/lose situation.....damned no matter what you do. I believe in the saying that the highway to hell is paved with good intentions.
This is just another take on the question asked | |
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| For the Men Over 30
Posted: 6/15/2005 12:37:59 PM | I'm always a little sad when I see an ex trashing their ex.
I think it's important to remember, that sure things didn't turn out the way you had envisioned when you were getting married.....but you did choose that person, so if you are gonna bash them, you are bashing your own selection skills too.
Just my humble opinion.
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| For the Men Over 30
Posted: 6/15/2005 12:51:58 PM | I agree skettistraps on the exs, my ex right now is my best friend. I was friends with him first and he will always be a friend to me. Just becasue we couldn't hold onto the love we once shared doesn't make either of us bad people just made us realize that there was a difference in being in like and in love with someone.
Thanks to all when it comes to the insight provided to me, was greatly appreciated. I have been single now for a few months and each day gets easier and I "think" I now understand men alot better then when I first became single. We are all in search of that perfect person, the one that makes our stomach ache and our minds wander with happy thoughts all the time, yes some men still send the RED FLAGS up but as much as they once did.
I am right now waiting for the right one myself, may have found him but only time can tell. Im not opening my heart up until I get to know the person for who they, how they are around kids, family and friends. If they cant interact with people that I care about they can't interact with me | |
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| For the Men Over 30
Posted: 6/15/2005 1:09:27 PM | Have an ex wife and kids, and you have too much baggage.
No ex wife or kids, and you must have some thing wrong with you.
What the ****!!! You just can not win. | |
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| For the Men Over 30
Posted: 6/15/2005 2:15:41 PM | It'll will find you {or anyone for that matter. I believe One must be willing and able to recognize it and know the price is opening your heart and laying it out.
The consequences are unexplainable from a pleasant and wonderful point of view.
The consequences are unexplainable from a uncomfortable and aching point of view.
[But it felt like it was smashed with a phonebook to me]
Not by what any action. Just by the realization of the loss. | |
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| For the Men Over 30
Posted: 6/15/2005 3:46:25 PM | I agree skettistraps....after my divorce, I took a good long look at myself....changed alot of the things I used to do, but like any good thing, I am still a work in progress. That's one reason I haven't dated in so long, had to get myself to like myself again. Hopefully with my new outlook on life, I won't make the same selection mistakes I did in the past.
Keep the line tight and a finger feeling for the nibble...never know when that trophey will bite.  | |
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| For the Men Over 30
Posted: 6/15/2005 4:58:25 PM | There are as many reasons as there are people on the planet for guys 35+ not to have kids etc. We are all victims of circumstance, I'm not so sure I agree that we're picky, or not interested in getting into a relationship, just maybe waiting for someone we share some common ground with, instead of jumping in with the first person that comes our way.Maybe your experiences tell you otherwise. I'm 31, single with no kids, never married, but there are some good reasons for this which are not really for airing here.
Keep trying, you'll get there in the end, well that's what I was told! | |
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| For the Men Over 30
Posted: 6/15/2005 6:13:01 PM | I think the important thing is to do what is right for you. Make your own choices, confidently, and don't pay any attention to what you THINK other people expect of you. It's your life, live it the way YOU choose.
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| For the Men Over 30
Posted: 6/27/2005 7:21:13 PM |
It does not matter why they are still single......the only thing that matters is they are out there - looking. With hope in their hearts.
Guys.........don't go getting yourself all worked up about this - some of us women understand...ifn I had known back then what I know now, I would have stayed single til I was ready too...instead of hooking up with the wrong man and having kids.
Squeak
THX SQUEAK!
I was with the "one", or so i thought. She cheated..I decided to stay single until all that crap was outta my system. Goin' on 2 years now. That, I think, was a healthy thing to do. And now I'm 34 and ready, willing, and able! As for not having kids....some men aren't able to have kids for medical reasons. Mostly it's because my uterus fell out and my womb is just too damn small! | |
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| For the Men Over 30
Posted: 6/27/2005 7:22:17 PM | | ever thought maybe they just don't want to bring children in to this world. and age is but a number it doesn't mean you've acquired the knowledge to be a father. some never will. | |
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| For the Men Over 30
Posted: 7/2/2005 11:32:54 AM | Personally for me, i let two good ones get away, looking back on it now i realise how stupid of me that was, but at the time I thought that i would be restricted in my work. I travel about extensively and how could i expect a wife to remain in the UK when I spend months sometimes in other locations? Now I'm at a different place in my life and realise that a good relationship is more important then money. It took me seeing what a wonderful mother one of those women became to make me realize that. It should have been my family.
Also, would a wife let me keep my playstation?  | |
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| For the Men Over 30
Posted: 7/2/2005 11:58:34 AM | wow,
I just had to explain this to a date the other night...and she said she was speechless as to my answer.
I feel that I have not met..with the woman, that I am going to get on bended knee...and
BEG.....
That's right.....................BEG, to spend the rest of her life....with ME!!
That's what I feel marriage (FOR ME) should be....I should be willing to beg....because I can not see myself being with anyone else...and well...why wouldn't I beg for that....kinda love...hence the proposal....taken very seriously.....by this feller!!!
My not having children, should then be obvious...(though I'd love to take my little girl ..if I ever have one....fishin' someday...)
Maybe I am a bit old fashioned...maybe a bit of a hopeless romantic...
But there's my insight.
Be safe,
Ryan | |
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| For the Men Over 30
Posted: 7/2/2005 3:27:42 PM | well, I may not qualify, since I am divorced...
But in my life I have had several relationships. Some good, some bad, some just fleeting encounters... However; I am currently single because I have not found the woman who I think will be the person I want to devote my love and affection to for the rest of my life. I can't speak for any other men, but personally I have outgrown wanting to get laid just for the novelty or physical pleasure of it; and certainly am aware that you can't build a relationship on sex, so i keep searching, dating, being single until I find "HER". The we'll both stop being single for a while & hopefully with attention, affection, determination, and understanding we will be together for the rest of our lives. So I guess my answer would have to be that I'm picky. | |
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| For the Men Over 30
Posted: 7/2/2005 4:50:30 PM | | Im not picky,,just if im going to give up my independance for good,, well im going to be careful. Besides,,,you can easily live between houses these days | |
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| For the Men Over 30
Posted: 7/12/2005 5:38:14 AM | @ryanJ: "I feel that I have not met..with the woman, that I am going to get on bended knee...and
BEG....."
Very good answer  | |
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| For the Men Over 30
Posted: 7/12/2005 6:45:10 AM | | Men over thirty are matured and person like never ditch any life partner after the marriage whatever disputes can be solved through communication because they are matured and caring . | |
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