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| For the Men Over 30
Posted: 7/12/2005 9:23:43 PM | (quote) So, to answer your question, sweetnsassy, us single guys in our 30's have realized that women are generally insane.
That we can't please you is a given.
If we go golfing next Saturday, your friends will tell you that we're selfish **stards who'd rather hang out with the guys.
If we take you antiquing next Saturday, your friends will say we're smothering losers who need to cut the apron strings.
We lose either way; so why bother????
So I'm single because women cannot be satisfied.
Men can easily be happy with a situation, but women will always look for a better deal.
Disagree if you'd like, but you're wrong.
Dave04
Dave thats the best answer that I have ever heard on this subject!!!! | |
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| For the Men Over 30
Posted: 7/12/2005 10:01:29 PM | For myself, I was set on marrying my last girlfriend but the fact that she did not want children was too much of an obstacle. I think many guys my age and higher are a little jaded when it comes to the way we feel about women. Most of my guy friends in their thirtiesw have been cheated on numerous times, while they themselves have not cheated. Yet we are still referred to as dogs because we are not shy about saying a wman is attractive.
recently, i went camping and the site next to us was a group of about four married women and two single ones enjoying a girls weekend. we hung out with them and to tell you the truth, the thinsg they taled about were absolute turn offs. They talked about their husbands and boyfriends like they were trash and unworthy of their love, spoke about men in general being scum and losers and generally spent the evening bashing men, yet also being VERY flirty with myself and my friends.
Using that as an example, how are many men in their thirties supposed to feel about dating? I dn't know about other men out there, but i certainly am not scum, nor a dog, and consider myself a fairly well-spoken and intelligent adult, and being referred to as part of a scummy and loser gender is no way for me to want to find that "mrs right"
There are probably countless other reasons out there why we are single, and don't get me wrong, there are guys who live up to those images, just as there are great ladies out there, but it gets really hard to find them. | |
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| For the Men Over 30
Posted: 7/12/2005 10:07:00 PM | Weeeeeeelllll......
I'm 40....going to be 41 in exactly a month, actually. I was married for seven years, and my wife and I were unable to have kids. She left me for some other guy a month after our seventh anniversary, which leaves me single, (divorced) over 30, and no kids. Not because of fear of committment, not for lack of trying, and not because of any unwillingness, pickiness or immaturity, but because this is what the circumstances led to. I would've avoided ending up this way if I had been able, but my ex was very unwilling to even think about working with me on any issues she was apparently perceiving. Me, I was totally in the dark until she confessed to me she was cheating and told me she was leaving.
Anyhow, let's just not generalize on this issue....sometimes the circumstances are completely beyond control. | |
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Moshe
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Joined: 5/8/2005
Msg: 130 | |
| For the Men Over 30
Posted: 7/13/2005 11:11:42 AM | | There are Men like me and I am widowed and a braved parent. | |
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skylab
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Joined: 12/11/2004
Msg: 131 | |
| For the Men Over 30
Posted: 7/13/2005 12:14:48 PM | Seeker4U,
I saw the same movie!
Only for me, it was after 11 years, no kids, and "Suprise!"...she not only tells me she wants a divorce to go be with her new boy friend, but that this guy wasn't her first extra credit adventure. And, of course, no warning from her, no willingness to work out whatever she percieved to be the issue--just 'poof' --game over.
Sweetnsassy34,
So, divorced, no kids, and no current prospects--at 41.
It's weird, because the stereotype is that the man is somehow always the strayer, the cheater, the player, immature, can't communicate, won't try...etc.
While there are many men who fit that, it seems like there are plenty of women trying to earn their own sh*thead badge.
But, that being said, I still beleive that women are wonderful creatures, and that everything about them makes the world a better place.
It's just that now, I have to apply a filter for the ones that have adopted the crappy side of humanity.
'Not all monsters shamble about in the dark, banging and clanking, with sharp teeth and razor claws..." ~Harlan Ellison~ | |
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| For the Men Over 30
Posted: 7/13/2005 4:14:40 PM | | For me atleast I know it really depends on your location. I live in northeast Kansas. I am not into the bar scene. There is not a lot of places to meet someone here. You can only got to the library and told shhhh so many times. People tell me that I should look at my job. Thats just it I choose not to. Work is for work, and now it is too easy to have a sexual herassment charge put on you. It seems strainge. I had a friend at work who was asked out by a lady there. He said no to her and she charged him with harassment. It did not go very far, but it is still scary and something that I would not want to go threw. There are many other reasons I am still single I have mentioned in anouther thread. My timeing has just been off. Or maybe it is something women see in me that I don't. I have not choosen this it is just the way it is. I hope that someday I find the right lady. | |
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| For the Men Over 30
Posted: 7/13/2005 5:14:50 PM | I had a 22 year old friend tell me that his number one biggest fear in his life was not death or dismemberment, but having to ask a girl on a date. LOL Sad but truuuuuuuueaaaugh! (Metallica) He REALLY was THAT afraid! He seemed to be an excellent candidate to remain single a LONG time! But that guy started going to church later, some single woman got hold of him, and he was married by about age 30. I'm sure he's a fine husband.
The amazing thing is how many guys have a similar kind of fear. That sort of fear can easily keep a guy from dating much at all until he's well into his 30's. Of course, there are MANY other reasons for remaining single, and it would be wrong to generalize. But all it takes is for one monstrous, evil, murderous, eat-you-for-lunch school girl with the big fangs and the razor-sharp claws dripping with blood to dig into him a few times. The phobia can be especially devastating if, as an infant, the guy had a beast like this living in his closet at night or under his bed. Then the fear is reinforced every night when he sees her perfect white teeth shining in the dark, or hears the faint sound of her sword being unsheathed under the bed. It's quite unnerving for a little guy!
I get the impression that most women do not realize the kind of mind-numbing fear, doom and dread that some men feel around them. Men with this type of fear would tend to be very nice and compliant around women, but may not be as likely to excite her or sweep her off her feet, because they would be too cautious and boring, afraid to do something wrong. Most women would probably feel like the guy bows down to her too much, which puts undo pressure on her, or is too careful around her. I think it's the main cause of the "nice guys finish last" syndrome with women. It doesn't mean guys who are afraid of women are really any nicer, they just may act extra nice out of fear of rejection.
I try to get a good, stiff dose of female rejection on a regular basis, just so I'm used to it, it doesn't bother me at all, and I have no fear of it. Like trying for a famous, rich woman whose beauty is beyond devastating, and you only have one minute to try to get her phone number ... oh, AND she has a close boyfriend! Instant Recommended Daily Allowance of rejection! It's that easy!
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| For the Men Over 30
Posted: 7/13/2005 10:48:39 PM | Wasn't ready till now.
First off, wanted to go see the world. Didn't get it all in, but got a quite a few stamps in my passport. Sure, there was a girl or two along the way, but I was not ready and knew.
Second, was working on developing a career. Knew the military was interesting, but had seen how it could play hell with marriages. Did my hitch and got out, knotted on a tie.
Then, when the Rooskies up and quit, they told all us Cold War types to go pound sand.
Went back to school for retraining and refitting. Came out with some creds and incidently went though a monogamous relationship that was more of a marriage than many marriages.
Finally have got to a place that looks halfway solid and know pretty much who I'm looking for, should the opportunity arise.
I'm in no hurry to make a mistake though. As Americans we have a really horrendous track record as far as marriage survivability is concerned.
One last item of interest.
I have had the opportunity to travel a good part of the world and can compare US women to others. Sorry to say, most American women don't know how good they have it.
Lucky for them, most American men don't know how BAD they have it. LOL!
I'm in no hurry. People keep thinking I'm in my twenties.
La la la | |
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| For the Men Over 30
Posted: 7/14/2005 3:36:11 AM | well.......
I'm gonna get on bended knee...and BEG (that's right....I said it) her to spend the rest of her life with me....that's just how I feel ladies, no need to get on me...I think I should feel so strongly about it...that I would be prepared to beg...if I truly want to spend the rest of my life with her......hence getting on my knees...it's not just about a romantic gesture with this fella!!!
haven't found her yet....never engaged...
think I am gonna make sure she's the one for me???
think I am gonna make sure I'm the one for her???
SURE AM!!!
Be safe,
Ryan | |
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| For the Men Over 30
Posted: 7/14/2005 12:47:59 PM | thanks...........much jheldatsuedu,
it's how i feel bout it.
NICE FREAKIN' "BACKYARD" by the way...
man, I need that much space!!!
be safe,
Ryan | |
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| For the Men Over 30
Posted: 7/15/2005 1:46:29 PM | 31 here, engaged once (she cheated on me before the wedding, that was off), and no kids.
I'm personally taking a break from dating...its going on a year and its great. I have been dating since i was 17, and i needed a break. So now im taking time to do all the stuff for me and get re-established then the right woman will come along. If not...then i guess I was ment to fly solo.
But I'll find her soon, I have a feeling. | |
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| For the Men Over 30
Posted: 7/16/2005 7:08:46 AM | You know, one thing bothers me a bit - there seems to be a kind of unspoken assumption that you are SUPPOSED to be in a relationship. I don't see why people need to buy into that. Surely each person is O.K. just the way he or she wants to be, without feeling obligated to live up to what society wants or expects. Why should society make the rules for your life? Maybe each of us can be exactly what we want to be, without living to please society by fitting into some kind of prefabricated pattern, like you're "supposed": to be in a relationship all the time, or (God help us) married and living in the suburbs with 2 and a half kids, a dog a cat a canary and two cars and a job you hate tying you to a desk all day so you can pay for all that stuff. Why don't people just (a) decide what THEY want, not what society expects, then (b) go for it?
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| For the Men Over 30
Posted: 7/16/2005 9:26:57 AM | fra59e,
Its not all about the ones who are single by choice.
People are single under different circumstances, some like myself meet some women but they just dont seem to be the one I'm really looking for.
well maybe I'm a little picky but I see that as a good thing, I think as we age we get to know life better and become more causious and dont want to settle with anything less than what our standards are.
Yes we should live for ourselves and not what society expects us but life is meant to be spent with the opposite sex, thats how the world goes around and thats why god created men and women. I dont know I could be wrong maybe you could correct me in that.
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ksue44
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Joined: 6/20/2005
Msg: 141 | |
| For the Men Over 30
Posted: 7/16/2005 12:35:00 PM | I think for the men it is no different than the women are over age 35, single and no kids. I'm 49 years old (divorced - since 87) and have no kids. I've met many of nice men over the years but not one in which we are on the same wavelength in life that I want to spend the rest of my life with.
As for kids, I never wanted to have kids and I'm glad I didn't. I'm having the time of my life, traveling, fixing up my home, and working in a field that I enjoy.
I'm finding the men close to my age are still tied down to the young kids (because they've been married more than once) or they have grown kids that they can't tie the apron strings. I'm also finding middle aged men that if you ask them what their 3 goals are in life, they can't list them. They are still trying to find themselves. | |
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| For the Men Over 30
Posted: 7/16/2005 10:18:15 PM | its simple
too picky just waiting for the right women to come along dont want to settle for someone who isnt the one | |
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| For the Men Over 30
Posted: 7/16/2005 10:36:51 PM | Me? 38, single, never married, no kids. I'm deffinately waiting for the right one to come along. I own my own home, live alone with two cats. Why should I just settle on just anyone who happens to come along? I had a long term relationship and we lived together for about four years.
Plus here's a great reason to be single. The other day I decided it's time to get some new living room furniture ( I have another room with the tv,steroe, etc). So I go out looking and I'm kinda like damn this stuff is expensive. So I come home to think about what to buy. Then it hits me. Take the old furniture out and chuck it and buy a pool table!! That way I don't have to furnish the room and save money in the process. Just put a pool table in and a couple bar stools. Ahhhhh, times like these I'm glad I'm still single. Because I doubt I could get a live in gf to go along with that one, LOL. Now I just need to figure out what color felt to get, hmmmmm. Decisions decisions. | |
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cazar
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Joined: 4/28/2005
Msg: 144 | |
| For the Men Over 30
Posted: 7/17/2005 8:08:49 AM | been married ...got used ..so I figure to just work n play the field..
my harley paid for , school loan almost paid off, 2 more yrs child support and dont even mention the house ..grrrr...
friend lives in my house and everything in it paid for ...no no bills..except for cell phone..
I am also definately waiting for right one to come along. I also had two long term long long term relationships...why didnt they last? ..one wanted to move back home to mom n dad n other got a job transfer overseas..
OT ...when and if you settle down...be sure it tis the right one.. I am settled..don't have to go out all the time..enjoy simple things..and am sort of boring at times...
problem is ....right one...tis hard to find her...
respects | |
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| For the Men Over 30
Posted: 7/17/2005 8:40:09 AM | I never realized how many men have been on the receiving end of some pretty bad women. Not all of us are painted with that same brush, I may have my guard up most of the times but when its down is when you really get to know me. I have a pretty rough exterior at times, bitter, yes, tats are certainly a talking piece but thats part of me, doesn't make me a bad person.. Always thought of it as being the men that screw it all up but the more I read its the females that screw things up with our attitudes, insecurities and mixed emotions and always wanting more.
The question propsed was I thought an easy one but looks like its more complicated then i thought. Personally I got my answer to the question and I agree with the whys and why nots and Im not gonna judge a book by its cover anymore but by the words that are inscribed in it. However I will still have my guard up just hope at one point in time someone has the ability to step up and help me bring it down. Just treat me with respect and be honest and open and everything else falls in place.Good luck
And with the pool table comment, I would rather the pool table then a new furniture set, nothing better then kicking a mans ass at a game of pool..haha
Trina | |
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| For the Men Over 30
Posted: 7/17/2005 9:16:49 AM | | As for me my priority [goals if you like] is my children. Finding a woman [e] that understand and are living that seems to be elusive. Not a deal breaker, but if a woman[e] has children it makes the frustration factor way low. Like interests are important and completely different ones added to the mix make it hot. One having kids is something anyone looking to carry on a relationship should be aware of or at least sensitive to. Hard to put into words as many [goals] are material driven. One must "know" where men [women] whom have children are coming from. See I told ya, can't quite spit it out...just a vibe. | |
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| For the Men Over 30
Posted: 7/17/2005 12:00:21 PM | I was almost married once, but I said no because I felt like I was being treated like a piece of furniture. She just wanted a husband and a provider. She didn't like my goals, she didn't care about my dreams, she didn't like my sense of humour. She didn't like me. One time, I asked her why she loved me and she said, "Because you ask me why I love you." That's not a real answer. It was a nightmare and I'm glad it ended. Now I'm looking for the real thing. Hopefully one day I'll find it. Until then, I will remain happily single.
Have a banana.
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| For the Men Over 30
Posted: 7/17/2005 12:31:07 PM | I have read the post.
Im single 33, And no kids, Making plans on theese kinds of things is crazy, So why try.
I just bought my own condo. And just want to enjoy life. Girls theese days are too hard to read. And arent very good at going after things. I dont care if a woman has kids. Im not afraid of kids. But my life wont change will it? Im still going to be me weather she likes me or loves me.
I think the person im with will love the fact I have no Baggage.
Just a carry on... | |
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| For the Men Over 30
Posted: 7/17/2005 12:49:12 PM |
I never realized how many men have been on the receiving end of some pretty bad women. Not all of us are painted with that same brush,
Now you're catching on darlin', the same rule applies to men as well.
As a charter member of the people with penises club I want to thank you for not lumping us all together as so many seem to do.
I'm 44, divorced going on nine years now. 'Never had any kids although I like them and at times wish I had. I was married ten fantastic years unfortunately the marriage lasted 15. She screwed up, I screwed up (never cheated tho'), blah blah blah I don't even bother looking back at the scorecard because it simply doesn't matter any longer.
I'm entirely open to marriage again and perhaps someday the one who really knocks my ol' socks off will come along. Until that happens I'll just hang out here in the forums and enjoy my present station in life to the fullest. | |
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| For the Men Over 30
Posted: 7/17/2005 1:07:23 PM | look in the mirror sweetie.. maybe it works both ways... u guys wanna have ur cake and eat it too. Wait until u hit 50! lol.. u'll be beggin us to spend a day with u... trust me.. i hear it all the time now!
Dave.. hate to break it to u.. but thats life and your wrong! | |
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