| if a women is single for a long time would you think she was odd?
Posted: 9/29/2007 9:36:35 PM | Great Question OP.
I was single for over 12 years after my husband died. I mean I was raising kids dealing with the loss. There was no time for me to give to a relationship.. I have now been single for over 3 years.. I took that time on me, I wanted to make sure I wouldn't be bringing any crap to a new relationship.. I dated yes but a relationship...
By the way we women can go for long periods of drought with out Sex. There are some of us that still have morals and will not just jump in the sack with anyone..
I am now ready for that relationship I have cleaned my own back yard so to speak.. I am not going to be bringing any unresolved garbage to it. A nice clean healthy slate.
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| if a women is single for a long time would you think she was odd?
Posted: 9/30/2007 4:48:49 AM | I agree with the woman that wrote,
"Any healthy adult that goes without sex for several years.."....needs to be qualified even more please....
It would depend on their reason. But if someone was happy going without for a long period of time, I would be concerned that they might artificially cause a 'drought' for me once we started dating, so I would be 'more' reluctant to get involved with them.
The last thing I want is to be with a woman that has 'sexual' hang-ups and / or dysfunction.
You can claim morals, etc...but it does not change the fact they seem to enjoy going without and that is NEVER healthy in a relationship. | |
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| if a women is single for a long time would you think she was odd?
Posted: 9/30/2007 2:16:06 PM | | its not that i dont want a healthy relationship , its just that i have not met mr right . and not prepared to just settle for mr right now ! surely its better not to hurt others along the way especially if your only filling in time and you know when someone is not right for you . alot of us have been guilty of jumping from the frying pan into the fire . | |
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| if a women is single for a long time would you think she was odd?
Posted: 9/30/2007 6:23:19 PM | I've wondered this myself. I would just want to get to know her and find out why. It might be that she was busy raising children on her own and didn't have time, hadn't met anyone she was interested in or she may have mental problems.
What I find troubling is a woman who:
Hasn't dated since her divorce - 9+ years. Her children are grown, one is 26 and lives at home and momma supports him so he can party, and says she's leery of men.
I dated a woman like that for 4 months. I finally realized that no matter what I did it wouldn't be enough. She would always be leery of men. We had a long talk about it and she said she wanted to take things slowly and get to know me better. That was followed by a string of unreturned calls and broken dates. I figured if I was pressuring her then I would just back off. I didn't call her for 9 days. During that time she never made any effort to contact me. When I finally did call her she was very aloof and then the criticisms started. At that point I knew she wanted out - so I ended it. (she wasn't seeing anyone else because we had some mutual friends and they would have told me) She either just had some deep seated psychological issues or she was stringing me along. I figured it was a little of both.
If you see this type run like hell.  | |
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| if a women is single for a long time would you think she was odd?
Posted: 9/30/2007 6:29:50 PM | | I know girls who have never been in a relationship at my age.. I don't think it's odd because people shouldn't be assuming or judging when they have no idea what's going on. No alarm bells unless if she said she killed all of her potential suitors or they're locked in her love dungeon or something like that.. | |
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| if a women is single for a long time would you think she was odd?
Posted: 9/30/2007 6:38:13 PM | | mjb, "A long time" is relative to the individual, and each person'e reasons are likely very different for choosing to remain single. This doesn't include dating or interacting w/ the opposite sexual persuasion. If this was also the case, I'd have to wonder for how well we might interact. Too promiscuous can be even more odd ...as, believe it or not, this man isn't into sex 24/7 or so much so that it clouds out other activities best done together. I do recognize, now being a parent myself, that many never-been-married older women tend to 'romance close to the vest' ...as if I'm out to hurt them, but love does. I'd rather mine be requitted, but I wait ...w/o holding my breath. | |
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| if a women is single for a long time would you think she was odd?
Posted: 9/30/2007 6:53:25 PM | My take on being single is not being committed to anyone (married, steady). So what's the problem? I'd find a level headed woman very reserved if she stayed single for 5 years. I would be fortunate if such a woman took some careful thought/consideration before dating me.
What would bother me is those who aren't reserved and are butterflies who fly from man to man. | |
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| if a women is single for a long time would you think she was odd?
Posted: 10/2/2007 4:00:23 PM | A couple posts here mentioned cats with single women. Interestingly, I made a point of not getting another cat after my divorce. After so many years, I gave up and decided I was going to be the creepy cat lady, plus my iguana was lonely and he'd always had a cat to keep him company before. I got the most neurotic cat on the fact of the planet (9 years old and abused). It wouldn't come out of my kitchen cupboards for the longest time. Anyway, it was after I got the cat and was settled with it that I finally met my match.
Admit it guys, you are attracted to the cat women. That's why you keep running into them. You guys can sense cats from 100's of miles away, and you are just drawn to them.
My vote is after so many years of being single, get a cat....the guy will come. | |
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| if a women is single for a long time would you think she was odd?
Posted: 10/2/2007 5:54:56 PM | I'd take a woman who has been single for the past five years over someone who has had an endless series of bad relationships. Of course, a woman can call herself single if she has slept around but never really dated, so each case must be judged on its own merits.
I think, however, that the single stigma has some merit. The whole relationship game has a lot of rules, overhead and complications. So why do people do it? Partly because they get hooked into it while they're young, just like with cigarettes. Someone who is out of the game for a few years gets a different perspective, and may not mesh with someone whose assumptions and values are heavily influenced by prolonged and repeated exposure to conventional relationships. | |
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| if a women is single for a long time would you think she was odd?
Posted: 10/2/2007 6:30:47 PM | Well OP I must be really strange as I have been single all my 54 years of life, yes I have had relationships and dated but I consider single as NOT married ever - as in divorced/separated/widowed. I think the term has been abused on many thread on this site, someone who has been not in a relationship for a number of years may have perfectly good reasons. I personally would not date someone just to keep my stats up - I date because I have an affinity for that person. The reason I am on this site is I find it difficult, nay impossible to approach a lady I do not know and engage in a conversation no matter how fantastic she looks - OK I'm shy like that but that is just how I am.
As Einstein said - time is relative. | |
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| if a women is single for a long time would you think she was odd?
Posted: 10/2/2007 11:22:06 PM | Oddly enough OP, i checked your profile and thought you were in your mid twenties..
Your entitled to your own space, And if someone thinks you are "odd" they are obviously not going to be dating you.
That said, time served in your current status is not exactly what i would consider first date chatter, Or profile material.
If they get along well enought with you to ask how long you have been single for, then do a U turn, perhaps they are a little scared of being with someone who is mature.
I for one couldn't care less... besides, cats are cool :P | |
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| if a women is single for a long time would you think she was odd?
Posted: 10/4/2007 4:34:14 PM | Yes if a woman was single for 5 years or more i would most certainly think something was wrong and i have found yes there is usually lots of things wrong. Many times i have found, these women were hurt badly by men in past relationships, most times i have found they are like one i'll call Sue, she would fight with her 25 year old son, drink booze for breakfast lunch and summer, would go to her retired parents house i discovered at a later date and rob the food out of their ice box.
Most i have found it to they are still brow beaten down by mean thoughtless men, and are scared to let their heart go | |
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