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| Does a guy's job really matter?
Posted: 10/4/2007 6:11:14 AM | Msg 122:
And there you have it.
These types of women are at the bottom of the barrel. You and other women like you put worth of a person based on their financial situation or their wealth. You are the most despicable of people and probably among the most superficial and materialistic as well.
This is not about gold-digging but about values, personality and character. Women like this have neither.
Good call and spot on, Alex. Having just gotten to this thread and read through it and digested it with some disgust at the utter, dispicable shallowness that some human beings live their wretched lives upon. I can not help but congratulate you, Silentman and the other fellow fit_funny for your very well thought out and accurate posts. Jolly well done. | |
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| Does a guy's job really matter?
Posted: 10/4/2007 8:55:11 AM | | No. As long as he works. Unless of course he is a male escort, now that I would have an issue with. | |
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| Does a guy's job really matter?
Posted: 10/4/2007 10:14:37 AM | Why would it matter what anyone does for a living? As long as it's legal, pays the bills, and you enjoy the job, no, it shouldn't matter. As far as your age and job, again, no, it shouldn't matter at all. I know plenty of great people who work at donut shops, gas bars, restaurants, etc. They are all decent and hard working people who give it their all and I'm proud to know each and every one of them.
When people 'grade' you by the type of job you do, these are shallow people who are very uninformed and chances are, not very happy with their own life. Heck! If it wasn't for the 7-11, where would I buy my cigs when coming home from work at 2 a.m.??? lol
Be proud of what you do and who you are there PlayfullM!!! If some woman snubs you because of your job, chances are she's only looking for that paycheck that she THINKS goes with a job title. | |
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| Does a guy's job really matter?
Posted: 10/4/2007 4:40:19 PM | [(((Really? You've never heard a man say that?)))
No i never have ever .]-raychass
ROFLMFAO!! 
I have to admit that I was also surprised at this. I have been a housewife/stay-at-home mom, since I was 16 years old.
I have certainly noticed in the 3 years since I separated from my 4th husband, that lost of men do not want anything to
do with a woman, who is not their financial equal.
I am disabled, & have 3 (soon to be 4!) small businesses online & it was still difficult to meet men. Luckily I found some-
one for whom it isn't so much of an issue. | |
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| Does a guy's job really matter?
Posted: 10/4/2007 4:44:26 PM | | Depends entirely on the woman. Everybody's different and sees things through a different set of eyes, thoughts and viewpoints. At least that's how I see things around me. I've been told that no one ever goes lower then their own class....whatever class that might be in their own minds.....personally, I could care less as long as he wasn't a sleezy, filthy lazy you know what who speaks down to woman...just a thought. | |
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| Does a guy's job really matter?
Posted: 10/4/2007 4:52:18 PM | There's many things about a person that reflect, beyond what they say, that gives a subtle message about who they are. Same for women, not a gender issue at all.
We get to know someone in knowing about how they're living their life, whether it's their profession or their relationships. And many don't realize how obviously that reflects what they're doing or have done and where they're going. If they are...what they want to do or how they think about how they spend, better yet invest their time.
Those with a plan, goals, dreams, ambition are best matched up with others who have a plan, goals or ambition. In even saying it, it would seem obvious.
It's not so much where you are, it's where you want to be. If those here are looking to meet someone to have or plan a future with, they'd like to know their futures and their prospective mates' futures are compatible. | |
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| Does a guy's job really matter?
Posted: 10/4/2007 5:12:26 PM | Once again, this is operating under the belief (a fallacious one, as far as I'm concerned) that all a relationship is is two people who are on similar paths, and happen to be around each other and occasionally be intimate. It completely ignores the reality that you might change your goals once you're with the person you're going to spend the rest of your life with, and so might they. The two of you might find together that there's something you want to accomplish that has absolutely nothing to do with what either of you were doing before you met.
It isn't all about the individual; in fact, in a relationship, it isn't about the individual at all. It's about two people who are together something they could never be apart. The belief as stated by the poster above me (bucsgirl) that two people are best-matched when their futures seem compatible is honestly just bull. You don't need two people whose futures are compatible; you need two people who understand they're each going to cease being who they were as they become someone entirely new in the context of a relationship.
Once people stop thinking of relationships as little more than business arrangements with regular squishy benefits, I think you're going to start seeing a push back towards honest long-term relationships, rather than the current type which do nothing more than reinforce (and sadly attempt to increase) our current 50%+ divorce rate (in America, at least; can't speak for other countries).
Which ties back in to what I've said before: stop thinking about yourself and how the other person can fit into your life, and start thinking about who you'd become with them and how you can build a life together. Anything less is destined for failure, heartache, and all the nastiness that comes with broken relationships.
Plus, in all honesty, it's purely shallow, and that isn't defensible no matter how you look at it. The wretches who are fine with being shallow... well, there's a reason I used the word "wretch". ;) | |
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| Does a guy's job really matter?
Posted: 10/4/2007 7:19:35 PM | This is an incredibly difficult question to answer. Some can say, "If love is all that matters, why worry about money." but at the same time, you need money to support a family. It really comes down to taste. Endogamy says you marry within your own social group, rich marry rich, poor marry poor. Because of this, the reality is, if you work at 7-11, your probably going to date a girl who works at McDonalds. If you have a Masters degree and make 60k a year, your probably going to date someone with an education who also is well off.
Just make sure you're looking for your type of girl and not just anyone to fit your bill for the night. | |
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| Does a guy's job really matter?
Posted: 10/4/2007 8:27:59 PM | Which, despite your assertions to the contrary, essentially boils down to, "It does matter how much money he makes." You can attempt to couch it in your desires to see a guy "bettering himself" all you like, but some words you speak are louder than others. "As long as I don't find myself paying his rent I don't care much where he works" contrasts mightily with "Of course, if the guy's salary is minimum wage or something close to, I will not be happy because I will foresee myself supporting him."
It sounds to me like the problem is yours, and your own perceptions. Try not to prejudge someone before you've met them. You have to choose which it is: either it doesn't matter how much he makes, or it does. You can't have it both ways.
If it doesn't matter how much he makes, then how much he makes only becomes an issue if, after you've gotten to know him, you do wind up supporting him. In that case, by all means, kick him to the curb. But you might just find that he's doing just fine with his wage, whatever it might be, at which point you would (hopefully) feel like a fool for prejudging him in the first place.
Of course, if it actually does matter to you how much he makes, you should at least be honest with yourself (and those on these forums where you choose to give your input) and admit you're shallow and materialistic.
So again I ask: which is it? | |
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locnar
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Joined: 8/22/2007
Msg: 135 | |
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| Does a guy's job really matter?
Posted: 10/4/2007 8:31:10 PM | I liked NotInnocent's answer.
To answer Miss Finneganne's question why I'm proud of being a delivery driver....it has nothing to do with pride. I make good money...mostly from huge tips on catering orders from big companies, medical practices, drug reps, and stuff like that. The tips from residential customers are just icing. Not only that, the job is fun because of the car I do it in. My little black 5-speed civic coupe is heavily modded and perfect for urban delivery. It has a lowered supension, a swapped japanese b16a SiR II DOHC Vtec motor, an Injen intake and a Thermal exhaust system. Aside from the window tint, it looks like a normal civic ex though. I also work with my best friends, I never get yelled at or pressured because a: I've mastered my specific job and have established meaningful relationships with our customers and b: my manager is my best friend. I have freedom in how I do my job, I can choose what music I listen to, I mostly get payed off the books, aside from driving around all I have to do is stock a cooler and mop a floor at the end of the night, I'm on a first name basis and on good terms with all the local police officers and they always eat for free, I eat for free...etc, etc, etc... It has nothing to do with being proud.
The reason for going back to school is I'd like a degree even if I never use it. Ideally I'd like to kick my delivery gig to part-time and work a somewhat normal job for goodies like health insurance. Better yet, I could marry a cute, nice, girl with a traditional job and maybe I could be covered by her benefits lol. I'd more then pay her back with good loving and free pizza. :p | |
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| Does a guy's job really matter?
Posted: 10/4/2007 11:22:31 PM | | So why is it okay for a mom to stay at home and look after kids but if a man has a low paying job and works it is not okay. That makes no sense. | |
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| Does a guy's job really matter?
Posted: 10/5/2007 1:32:52 AM | Michealann you didn't read my entire post that that came from or you just ignored it. I was talking about a man saying to his wife that she is a burden and how i have never heard a man say that to his wife. What goes on in dating relationships is entirely different as is a couple who is separated .
Of course a man who you were not married to will not want to support you . He is not your husband. In every married couple i have ever been around , my parents ,uncles , sisters ,friends, never have i heard or had anyone tell me that they didn't like that fact they were making more then their wives ,therefore contributing more financially to the family.
By the way bucsgirl how do you know that the janitor at the local elementary school or the security guard at the mall does not have plans ,goals and ambitions?? Perhaps they have nothing to do with financial gain. Perhaps they have to do with bettering themselves as a human being which so many people now neglect so badly .
There is so much talk about plans and goals and they usually are about having something to do with money . It would be refreshing to meet someone who had plans ,goals and ambitions that had to do with making the world a better place in their own small way. | |
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| Does a guy's job really matter?
Posted: 10/5/2007 3:54:46 AM |
Endogamy says you marry within your own social group, rich marry rich, poor marry poor. Because of this, the reality is, if you work at 7-11, your probably going to date a girl who works at McDonalds. If you have a Masters degree and make 60k a year, your probably going to date someone with an education who also is well off.
Basically my point.
I could sit here and be PC and get on everyone's good side by saying, oh, money doesn't matter, only love does, I would live in a cardboard box and eat cheetos with my true love... etc. but I'd be lying as I suspect others might. After all, who wants to tell the truth on a forum if they are going to get flamed or it's going to cost them dates? Lots of people are saying it doesn't matter what he does, but... blah, blah - so it does matter. Call me whatever you want, it's reality.
It's not a man-woman thing either. Certainly not a gold-digging issue: gold-diggers are people who are not well off and seeking someone who is. A woman who is well off and seeking someone who is in the ball park is just looking for her equal to have a partnership. You can't have a partnership with someone you have to carry all the time. | |
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| Does a guy's job really matter?
Posted: 10/5/2007 5:06:38 AM | No one is saying money doesn't matter. I don't think i have read one post where it said anything like that . The point is why is it the man who has to be making more money in the relationship ? Why can't the woman be the major bread winner . No one is saying go out and marry a man who wont work ,quits jobs frequently and contributes almost nothing financially.
No it doesn't matter what he does for a living so long as it's legal, he can pay his bills, have a little left over to play with and put some away for the future . If you can support yourself why be so concerned about what a man makes As i said so long as he is not in the hole financially and makes a good living doing what he does then why would you be carrying him?
Just because someone is a lawyer ,doctor , business owner etc... does not mean that they are well off financially. Many of them are in fact quite deeply in debt from student loans and trying to live a lifestyle they can't afford . My brother in law went to university for many years and it has only been maybe 5 or 6 years ago now that he has paid off all his student loans ,and he is in his fifties now! | |
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| Does a guy's job really matter?
Posted: 10/5/2007 6:24:58 AM |
If it doesn't matter how much he makes, then how much he makes only becomes an issue if, after you've gotten to know him, you do wind up supporting him. In that case, by all means, kick him to the curb.
No it doesn't matter what he does for a living so long as it's legal, he can pay his bills, have a little left over to play with and put some away for the future . If you can support yourself why be so concerned about what a man makes As i said so long as he is not in the hole financially and makes a good living doing what he does then why would you be carrying him?
Exactly. We won't be carrying him. As long as he can contribute for his end of the relationship it doesn't matter what he does. He need only be happy with whatever it is, keep it legal and take care of himself.
So basically:
Does a guy's job really matter?
Nope - it doesn't, as long as we're not paying. | |
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| Does a guy's job really matter?
Posted: 10/5/2007 7:14:23 AM | | From reading many of the responses in this thread, one could easily gather that a current credit report, and a recent pay stub are required items for a first date. After all, its only reasonable that my "potential" date be able to quickly determine whether I am worth her time or not. Once its been established that I am financially solvent, and I am not a complete troll in the looks department, we could move on to cover more trivial things, such as my personality, core values, my views on life, personal goals, etc... ;-) | |
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| Does a guy's job really matter?
Posted: 10/6/2007 1:25:31 AM | | It has a lot to do with status. People do want to tell other people that there husband/wife works at a low paying job it will bruise there ego. | |
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| Does a guy's job really matter?
Posted: 10/6/2007 1:31:20 AM | I reiterate again since it was deleted...
Would you date a guy who filmed or produced pornographic films for a living?
Would you date a guy whose job it was to slaughter cows and pigs?
Would you date a guy whose job was on an oil rig, etc, who had to be gone 9 months of the year?
Would you date someone who worked as a sexual surrogate (has sex with women to help them overcome their sexual problems and issues - yes this is a real job)?
Would you date a male escort or stripper?
I hear a lot of 'his job doesn't matter BUT or IF' which means it DOES matter. What you do says something about who you are. | |
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| Does a guy's job really matter?
Posted: 10/6/2007 1:53:26 AM |
Exactly. We won't be carrying him. As long as he can contribute for his end of the relationship it doesn't matter what he does. He need only be happy with whatever it is, keep it legal and take care of himself.
I have no problems with kicking a woman to the curb who doesn't keep a job or can't pay their own way.
There's a converse argument to this, it's interesting to see how many will claim they do make a living yet either engage in hypergamy or still expect men to rescue them from debt, or even worse, raise someone's brats.
No offense, but **** that. | |
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| Does a guy's job really matter?
Posted: 10/6/2007 3:25:53 AM | Finneganne you are using ridiculously extreme cases. You know EXACTLY what everyone means by a mans job not mattering .Of course i would never date or marry anyone who filmed and produced pornography or was a stripper or male escort . As for someone working in a slaughter house well i would have no problem with that ,so yes. An oil rig gone 9 months out of the year? Oh come on now !! What the frig would be the point in being married at all if you saw someone 3 months out of the year.
You are using extreme cases so you can come back and say " see a mans job does matter" . Stop being childish . You know full well that we are talking about men who do jobs that don't require a degree like a delivery man ,mailman , construction worker , janitor , telemarketer ,waiter or waitress etc................. You already knew that but was just trying to be difficult. | |
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| Does a guy's job really matter?
Posted: 10/6/2007 3:55:27 AM | Presenting another point of view different to yours is being childish?
Sorry the question at the top of the post is "Does a guy's job really matter?"
Yes it does. | |
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| Does a guy's job really matter?
Posted: 10/6/2007 6:56:33 AM | raychass, I was thinking the same thing after that doozy of a post. This is directed not at you but the two girls (Finn and Betty) and anyone else posting excuses on this subject. It's obvious they are shallow, superficial and materialistic but would like to justify it any way they can. I think character can be brought into question with attitudes like that.
The other thing one keeps reading is that, you must have this income, this type of job or whatever in order to become an '*EQUAL* ' in the partner relationship. So, they are basically saying, in other words, you are less important (than them) unless you have a job in which they approve. You must make this amount of money and work some type of job that is acceptable (to them). Talk about shallow.
I have asked them what they would think if the economy crashed and most people (including them ) especially the guys were on a more equal level (in other words, more guys had little money). There was no answer directly addressing that question. | |
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| Does a guy's job really matter?
Posted: 10/6/2007 7:55:48 AM |
I have no problems with kicking a woman to the curb who doesn't keep a job or can't pay their own way.
Nor should you. If you never live with them, then their financial situation never crosses yours, and in my train of thought, that makes more sense...but for people who HAVE to cohabitate, yes not dragging each other into bankruptcy is a good idea.
Would you date a guy whose job was on an oil rig, etc, who had to be gone 9 months of the year?
Would you date a male escort or stripper?
Actually yes I would date these guys, maybe not seriously, but I would...but I get your main point. Of course if I find a man's job morally wrong to my beliefs, I wouldn't date him.
raychass, I was thinking the same thing after that doozy of a post. This is directed not at you but the two girls (Finn and Betty) and anyone else posting excuses on this subject. It's obvious they are shallow, superficial and materialistic but would like to justify it any way they can. I think character can be brought into question with attitudes like that.
Alex, PLEASE get your facts straight. At no point in time did I say anything that's materialistic or shallow (according to most normal points of view, I understand yours is severely biased against women). I said I didn't care what a man did if he was happy, if he was responsible, and if dating him didn't require me to start spending to make up for anything. I like money separate. If I dated a man who made less, we'd do less expensive things together...I'd bank my money instead of spending it on stuff that didn't matter. Why am I repeating myself? Go back and read it.
The other thing one keeps reading is that, you must have this income, this type of job or whatever in order to become an '*EQUAL* ' in the partner relationship. So, they are basically saying, in other words, you are less important (than them) unless you have a job in which they approve. You must make this amount of money and work some type of job that is acceptable (to them). Talk about shallow.
I'm going to assume you're not even talking about me here.
I have asked them what they would think if the economy crashed and most people (including them ) especially the guys were on a more equal level (in other words, more guys had little money). There was no answer directly addressing that question.
I did answer that question, but you didn't really find my answer interesting enough or close enough to the response you thought you'd get to respond to. | |
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| Does a guy's job really matter?
Posted: 10/6/2007 8:30:01 AM |
I have asked them what they would think if the economy crashed and most people (including them ) especially the guys were on a more equal level (in other words, more guys had little money). There was no answer directly addressing that question.
I almost think this is an irrelevant point. If the economy as we know it collapsed, some other "currency" would replace dollars as a means of measuring status. Be it power, land ownership, ability to hunt/obtain food, you name it... Those that measure a man by what he has, rather than who he is would simply substitute some new superficial benchmark of status by which to judge.
Honestly, is this all really any different than men who judge the value of women solely by their physical stats? Bottom line, there are plenty of shallow, pointless human beings out there, and at least on this site you can use these forums as a means of identifying, and avoiding them!  | |
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