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| annoying dating advice that you've heard
Posted: 10/4/2007 11:18:04 AM | Advice - "The right one will come along when it is time".
Oh really????
So if I turn into a hermit, when the time is right, he will be the paramedic that hauls me off? | |
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| annoying dating advice that you've heard
Posted: 10/4/2007 4:31:55 PM | I always thought the expression was, "Women: Can't live with them, But they taste great in a white wine sauce..."
Cultural differences I guess..  | |
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| annoying dating advice that you've heard
Posted: 10/5/2007 10:17:39 AM |
I always thought the expression was, "Women: Can't live with them, But they taste great in a white wine sauce..."
Don't forget the Fava Beans !!  | |
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| annoying dating advice that you've heard
Posted: 10/5/2007 8:12:53 PM | Oh- and another annoying cliche:
What you hear after a breakup, people flippantly say- "Don't worry, you'll find someone else."
Like it's so damn easy. Like I can just stop at Target and pick up a new boyfriend as if he was a toaster oven or something. | |
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| annoying dating advice that you've heard
Posted: 10/6/2007 6:59:41 PM | | I've been told that the dog park is a great place to meet men. While I like taking my dog there, and we have a lot of fun...all the men I've met there are married or otherwise taken. Maybe I'm just going to the wrong one! | |
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| annoying dating advice that you've heard
Posted: 10/6/2007 10:02:02 PM |
Besides, when I DID STOP loking for the one, do you know what happened? Nobody came along.
Believe it or not... this tired cliche has ALWAYS panned out for me. When I was actively looking for a BF, I had little or NO luck. Anytime during the hunt.. if I got distracted by work, a friend's drama or a family drama... anything time-consuming, really... a prospect always appeared as if by magic.
Fairly creepsome, actually.. but it still worked in my case.
The worst advice I got was to stay in a relationship that I KNEW was not gonna work. I didn't listen, or course. I came to find out later that the people advising me to stay in the relationship, didn't even like the guy I was with. So it begs the question.. why'd they want me to stay with him!? | |
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| annoying dating advice that you've heard
Posted: 10/7/2007 3:49:47 PM | | Swamp thing has some very interesting points. The conditions for relationship and the faked female realtionship points ring true in my experience. After a while dating/relationships for guys become about meeting those criteria to get sex and not about love and trust. I see the pattern and want to avoid it. | |
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| annoying dating advice that you've heard
Posted: 10/8/2007 7:13:04 AM | How about the "your too old for me" line followed by "I'm sure there are lots of nice ladies out there!" which is usually followed by some 19 year old responding to the 40 and older get togethers with the line"Only 40 and oldr are allowed?" It really can make one get wild with rage over such blatant stupidity! | |
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| annoying dating advice that you've heard
Posted: 10/8/2007 9:33:36 AM | The one that irritates me is the cliche that "you'll find the one when you're not looking. They'll just come along out of the blue." This is the stupiest thing I've ever heard.
Actually I'll admit to being stupid, but I find that advice to be very true, the vast majority of the time.  It's sound advice because it's usually not how too many people in dating circles tend to think.
Finding someone special, isn't like looking for a job. Sure, one can broaden their horizons where possible to accomodate more possibilities, and they should. But that's pretty much where it ends. A big part of one's faltering romantic life is often that they are trying much too hard, and trying to force something that doesn't want to be forced. Mother Nature, and Chemistry. . Those things don't usually ask us for our approval, and it most often happens largely on it's own, unexpectedly and quite often at the oddest times.
You can't really set out to find a Soul-Mate by next week, control the process, and have it develop according to a preconceived design. That just isn't within the human realm to control. We may control the physical aspects of it to some degree, but not the psychology associated with it, and not the romance or the chemistry. Those things tend to sneak up on us.
-SuthnBoy 
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| annoying dating advice that you've heard
Posted: 10/8/2007 9:46:54 AM | Another oddity that relates as well, is that we very often meet someone unusually interesting, when we are in the company of someone else. That's not about having a roving eye, or cheating, or anything like that. It's just about the odds and what often occurs.
Which of course it not how we'd normally plan it. 
Life is just full of many surprises. And that's good. It keeps things from being boring.
-SuthnBoy
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| annoying dating advice that you've heard
Posted: 10/8/2007 4:34:16 PM |
I can't stand it when people tell me I should lower my standards even more than I have them at now (which I believe are pretty open). It's basically them telling me to settle in life.
Almost all of the dating advice I have received has been bad. In fact, I cannot recall ever receiving any GOOD dating advice.
My mistake has been listening to this advice. Fortunately, I am old enough now that people don't waste my time with worthless advice.
Maybe this is what people are talking about when they say you are more likely to meet someone when you aren't looking. I simply means that you are not following some half-assed advice that some nitwit gave to you.
Settling for someone who you will not be happy with is a mistake. After seeing more crappy relationships than I can count after 25 years of practicing law, I have come to the view that being single is a middle ground. It is not as good as being in a great relationship, but it is a heck of a lot better than being in a bad one.
Approximately half the people who are in a bad marriage, would rather be single than continue that bad marriage. After all, isn't that why they get divorced? However, getting divorced is expensive, emotionally draining and damages the kids.
Settling for someone you are not attracted to and do not like is a prescription for disaster. | |
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PandP
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Joined: 4/4/2007
Msg: 45 | |
| annoying dating advice that you've heard
Posted: 10/8/2007 6:29:43 PM | Mine isn't really about advice given to me on finding "Mr. Right" but more of what I encounter from friends. Suddenly, everyone is a matchmaker!!! They have found the "perfect guy for you."
What I have learned from all this.... my friends don't know me very well!! I am a positive, easy going person and suddenly their neighbour, who they've heard yelling at the dog, is my match? Or how about "You should see my coworker. He looks like Richard Gere." Then you see him and he resembles Robin Williams. And you have to love those friends who yell when the courier comes in to deliver packages at work - "Hey, you!! Mr. Courier! You single? Why don't you ask her out?"
Then there are my parents. "Honey, why can't you find a nice guy like Edith's son? So he's only got 2 teeth, can't hold a stimulating conversation, lives with his parents, doesn't work, doesn't support his ex or his 11 kids. He wears that plaid shirt very well." ( no offense to plaid shirt wearers!)
Ah, what can you do? Nothing but laugh..... and hope one day they are back in the "dating scene" and you can try and set them up!! LOL!!! | |
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| annoying dating advice that you've heard
Posted: 10/10/2007 11:16:15 AM | I like the one about letting people set you up for dates.
When they do, it's frequently done by people who don't know you well, have zero concept of what would make a good relationship, and who think their idea of what is attractive in the opposite is yours.
But usually, the same women who say they will find someone for me, come back and say there's no one they can think of that they'd date..... um, it's not a date for you, it's for me....
Every once in a while, I meet a person who gets to know most of the different sides of me, and they get a very good idea of who would be a good match for me and who wouldn't. That person won't set me up for a date, because he/she doesn't want to share me....
And for us single parents: "Let your children find the perfect other half for you. Afterall, they know you best."
My older children are just now meeting the real me. I explained to them that they only know the impoverished health struggling single mother who had an obligation to keep her wild boys in line. Now, they can go do whatever the heck they wanna, I'm happy for them, it's their life. I'm healthy, I'm certainly not struggling anymore. They expected me to continue to be in their lives about every detail, giving *advice* and handing out consequences. Uh, no, you're over 18 and out. Have fun! Love you! They don't know me. They are getting to know me. It just now occurs to my sons that every guy they thought might be perfect for me, was definately the wrong kinda guy. LOL
I yam who I yam | |
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| annoying dating advice that you've heard
Posted: 10/10/2007 4:29:03 PM | The only advice I've ever gotten from my friends is... "You just need to go to the gym more, and eat less..."
Yeah, I know I'm fat... nothing like pointing out the obvious. | |
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| annoying dating advice that you've heard
Posted: 10/11/2007 11:28:43 PM | "You need to join a club and get out there to meet people. Nobody knows you exist if you're always at home or in the garage." My sister.
What club ? I joined this singles dating site. Which is supposed to be like a dating club. But, it's disappointing for getting even a response to a message I sent. Never mind a date. The Forum philosophical exchange is kind of fun though. I went to the Butt Rhetlers Bar because I was invited via e-mail.
When I arrived. The rario of women to men was like 1: 6. Hopeless, I even got I.D'ed by the door man. | |
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| annoying dating advice that you've heard
Posted: 11/9/2007 7:12:58 AM | | It's usually women who say "love happens when you're not looking" because the way in heterosexual society the man still has to do the searching and the asking. No woman is going to approach me out of the blue and ask me out! | |
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| annoying dating advice that you've heard
Posted: 11/9/2007 4:41:37 PM | Not really advice but this was an actual phone call I got late at night from a not sober person:
"I found the perfect girl for you. She has never been married, has no kids, a great job. (now I was getting interested) She is almost six foot tall, blond and the figure of a model. (very interested at this point) All you have to do is wait until she gets rid of her boyfriend she's living with, so this isn't somehting that will happen before christmas. She may not be able to leave him until she gets her tax refund."(there is always a catch)
The person calling was totally serious about this. | |
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