| Who Does All The Work In Bed?
Posted: 10/3/2007 1:48:31 AM | My exhusband thought foreplay was him entering the room.  Once single, I realized one vital aspect of my own sexuality ~ men aren't mind-readers. If I'm not willing to get down and dirty and explain what works, what doesn't ~ we aren't going to get it figured out. I'm an entirely different person today in this respect, but there is no foreplay more important than knowing the partner on a level of some reasonable intimacy (not just sexually) and a conversation where you determine if compatibility is an issue before you get out the Naked Twister floor mat. I am firmly convinced, I can have great sex with anyone as long as the physical attraction is there and the communication is open and honest. This former shy me stuff, pft...forget that. I'm getting old ~ I'm going to make the best of what time I have left ~ now I just have to find a willing victi.....errrr, I mean participant  ....it's always something. Sigh.  | |
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| Who Does All The Work In Bed?
Posted: 10/3/2007 7:51:48 AM |
For the record, those who complain about their partner being slugish, lol, it takes two to tango. Sex is like running a race, there is a goal,(finish line) and there is a crowd(your partner) cheering you on, be excited about finishing that race, do it with your head held high and have FUN while in it.JMO
Interesting analogy, and it's a good start, but I beg to differ. I think it's more like dancing a tango. You give you take. If you think of the goal at the end, you don't enjoy the process and the real goal is the process not just the final outcome. In the dance it is required to have incredible skills for both and even though the man leads, the woman is close right there, responding and adding her personality moves and touches to the interaction. | |
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| Who Does All The Work In Bed?
Posted: 10/3/2007 8:00:50 AM |
put the effort in other areas of your life and you will reap the rewards.
lie back and think of england... thats my moto.
Wow. I can't believe I am hearing this. This is when I wish I had a radio show and I could simply use the station's money and tell you this "You win a cruise for a week over the Caribbean, we'll pay for the babysitter, give you spending money, but there are some caveats, no clothes, unless is sensual stuff, and you are not allowed back until you are both doing it hanging from the chandeliers and screaming in ecstasy!"
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| Who Does All The Work In Bed?
Posted: 10/3/2007 8:36:05 AM |
My exhusband thought foreplay was him entering the room.
verygreeneyez ... sad thought but too often true ... some folk think sex starts
in the bedroom and overlook the subtle [and not so subtle] preliminary acts,
gestures, etc that can take place outside the bedroom in the hours beforehand.
My mate and I discussed the OP question and agreed that:
"if we had to work in bed
we should be getting paid
and since we're not getting paid
we should just relax
and enjoy getting laid"
For us lovemaking is simply the extension of a conversation or an interlude
between conversations and I hope it will always be that way:-) | |
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| Who Does All The Work In Bed?
Posted: 10/3/2007 8:46:07 AM | | Awww, crap! I never thought anybody was timing me or measuring my performance. Damn! There's so MUCH to remember! Now I have to be sure I expend as much energy as he does. In thinking back, Surely I do as much as my partner. Don't I? (head hung) I'll try to pay more attention to my calorie count. But I think if we're worried about that, our minds aren't where they ought to be. I like to keep my mind on what I'm doing. Too, sometimes I might expend more calories if I'm more tired or am "in a mood", but the next time I might go above and beyond the call of duty. See, let's not be measuring everything and let's just enjoy each other, okay? | |
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| Who Does All The Work In Bed?
Posted: 10/3/2007 8:56:41 AM | I like to take turns.
I am MORE than willing to be the agressor & truly enjoy doing so. However, I LOVE laying back & just being petted & loved. | |
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| Who Does All The Work In Bed?
Posted: 10/3/2007 9:19:40 AM | continuation of previous thought ...
For us lovemaking is simply the extension of a conversation or an interlude
between conversations and I hope it will always be that way:-)
a wee poem for my SO sums it up:
Thank You Sweet Soul
for another heavenly night
of beautiful loving sharings
making everything feel so right.
Being with you is just like
a piece of heaven on earth
and lying in your loving arms
restores my soul like a rebirth. | |
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| Who Does All The Work In Bed?
Posted: 10/3/2007 9:21:36 AM | | When I was younger I found myself taking more of a passive role. I believe it had a lot to due with preception. I didn't want them to think I had slept around a lot. Now...young men do think these things about ladies who show off "moves". Now I am older and I don't care what they think. The best sex I have experienced has been when I became the aggressor and do all the things that work for me and I have found it works for him too! | |
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| Who Does All The Work In Bed?
Posted: 10/3/2007 12:25:59 PM | verygreeneyez -
This former shy me stuff, pft...forget that. I'm getting old ~ I'm going to make the best of what time I have left ~ now I just have to find a willing victi.....errrr, I mean participant ....it's always something. Sigh.
Ever read something you could have written - you took the words right out of my keyboard (not flirting). | |
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| Who Does All The Work In Bed?
Posted: 10/3/2007 12:28:15 PM | | The hooker does all the work.. and she damn well better not talk and leave when I am finished. | |
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| Who Does All The Work In Bed?
Posted: 10/3/2007 12:34:45 PM | | Generally, I start out doing most of the work. Then-after she has cum a few times-I relax, and she does the work. Then, we change again. This gives each of us chances to work, and chances to rest. Women who never want to do any work are boring, and best left alone. They also deprive themselves more than you. | |
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| Who Does All The Work In Bed?
Posted: 10/3/2007 12:42:51 PM | | i have got to do the driving. thats just the dominate in me. don't get me wrong if a woman wants to ride the magic meat bus she's more than welcome to. just don't expect me to get anything out of it. it does nothing for me. also i hope she doesn't get offended if i turn on the tv or try to read a book. plus there's also that underlying danger that she's gonna drop down the wrong way and POP! and i'd rather not have to explain to the guy in the ER why thing-thing has an elbow now. | |
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| Who Does All The Work In Bed?
Posted: 10/3/2007 12:54:23 PM | "has it occured to anyone that us girls are too knackered at the end of the day, after all while you were watching the footie on tv, we were cooking dinner, hoovering, ironing, bathing the kids, doing the dishes blah blah blah.
often it is just another chore and far easier to just get it over and done with in half an hour rather than put up with the petulant whining whinging sulking misery that lasts for days.
put the effort in other areas of your life and you will reap the rewards.
lie back and think of england... thats my moto."
Hmm . . . I don't even know where to start . . . In short I received this attitutude, in spite of busting my butt . . . the only part that held any merrit, was it wasn't worth whinning over.
if you don't want to sleep with me, I find someone who does... that's my moto.
I guess it's a symptom, not the illness.
but I degress . . .
I think it's the person who likes to do more of the pleasing that does the most work and I think women's orgasms are more complicated than a man's (I can only speak with any authority about this man's) so, by default I think it becomes the man doing more of the work if aspires to be a competent lover. | |
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| Who Does All The Work In Bed?
Posted: 10/3/2007 12:56:54 PM | If it is good, whoever feels like it at the moment. I don't suppose I ever kept track of caloric usage or droplets of perspiration.
But seriously when young I had no idea and no lady ever clued me in about a thing. Now there are detailed instructions that put the Kama Sutra to shame, and all I need is a lady to explain them to me in a way I can understand. It is just so hard to visualize ... well you get the drift. | |
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| Who Does All The Work In Bed?
Posted: 10/3/2007 1:10:43 PM | | Well...to start off with, there's a whole bunch of different kinds of sex...like the quiet sex, the kids are in the other room, or the off and on all nighter sleep in till noon cause the kids are away sex..the quickies, the dangerous place sex, comon honey I just want to sleep sex...angry sex, make up sex..kitchen sex...but of course being the man your expected to put a little more energy in to it. but of course all that is relationship not hooking up for a night cause I'm horney sex...I guess when both people still care it's the best..no matter what kind of sex it is | |
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| Who Does All The Work In Bed?
Posted: 10/3/2007 1:39:07 PM | | well i mainly do all the wor start from the neck and slowly work down plus alot more xxx | |
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| Who Does All The Work In Bed?
Posted: 10/3/2007 3:27:35 PM | Bullshit, I start, and I finish up. I call myself the "male-ester" Bf used to love it, but we could never actually sleep in bed together and both of us were always late for work.... Together we stole each others' innocence, and did just about everything we could both think of.
Now that its over for other reasons, i can only console myself by thinking, "i was the best he'll ever have..."
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| Who Does All The Work In Bed?
Posted: 10/3/2007 3:33:27 PM | Ha!......WORK?? When it becomes work, there will be no more sex! It is suppose to be pleasure, not work!  | |
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| Who Does All The Work In Bed?
Posted: 10/3/2007 3:54:01 PM | I'm never lazy in bed (or on the floor, or...well, wherever). I haven't had an intimate relationship in a while (too darn long!), but I have been told by partners that I am wild.
There are times when I just have to be on top. I feel the need to touch my lover all over and taste EVERY part...
Of course, I also enjoy being submissive. That is to say that I enjoy submitting to my lover's demands and desires.
So, OP, maybe you are experiencing sex and intimacy with the wrong women. You need to be with women who are more sensual and sexual and involved in said activity.
Of course, it is possible that you don't know what you're doing so the women you are with get bored and, as result, become lazy. | |
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| Who Does All The Work In Bed?
Posted: 10/3/2007 4:22:52 PM | Very True HRWild
Of course, it is possible that you don't know what you're doing so the women you are with get bored and, as result, become lazy.
OP communication is the key plus getting that nuisance "ego" out of the bedroom or haybarn or wherever u r doing it ... remember women are people - not objects - and sex involves TWO people ... so when you get TWO people equally involved you should have less problems and more fun ... | |
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| Who Does All The Work In Bed?
Posted: 10/3/2007 4:31:19 PM | | men do most of the work hands down. when it comes to oral the women has to put more effort in(when it comes to me). unless your women is using a strap on on you then there is no comparison to the insertion aspect of intercourse. even when a womens on top i still thrust my hips upwards and rarely is there any inactivity on my part. on the other hand my lovers have on occasion sat back and enjoyed the ride, which i have no problem with. i have no problem with being more physically active, i think its part of being a man | |
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| Who Does All The Work In Bed?
Posted: 10/3/2007 4:37:42 PM | It's work????? Dayammmm, howum nobody ever told me? Dayammmmmmmm!!
Live and learn. . . .
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| Who Does All The Work In Bed?
Posted: 10/3/2007 4:44:42 PM | | Sounds to me like you need to hang out with a better class of people. Ones who take a genuine interest in the things they do. | |
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| Who Does All The Work In Bed?
Posted: 10/3/2007 7:45:45 PM | I work very hard in bed........To make sure my mate is pleased. I don't even mine putting in overtime. | |
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