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Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > Why are most men looking for "Friends with Benefits"?      Home login  
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 Just JJ
Joined: 2/20/2007
Msg: 26
Why are most men looking for Friends with Benefits?Page 2 of 50    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41)
I say this with a heavy heart.......


Because the women of our generation have enabled it.

You know the old saying...." Why buy the cow when the milks for free"?

JMO jj
 SlytherinJen76
Joined: 8/24/2007
Msg: 27
Why are most men looking for Friends with Benefits?
Posted: 10/3/2007 4:47:27 PM
My problem with the issue is when people use the term "friend". Let's face it, when you have sex with someone you are not into romantically, you want to get them the hell out of your house as soon as the act is complete. I have been guilty of that when I was in my early 20's. To me when one uses the term "friend" it's more of a way to make themselves not look like the bad person. The "no strings" nod is a more honest way to approach it, because you are not leading people on to believe that you actually want to be their friend.

Another problem I have is, when I was younger and had a no strings thing, and would go on dates with guys, the guy in the no strings thing was jealous that I would go on a date. If the guy didn't want me as a girlfriend at the time, then he shouldn't have said he didn't want a girlfriend. It is very hypocritical when someone not wanting a gf/bf gets mad when the person they are just sleeping with wants something more and decides to find it with someone else
 nebula22
Joined: 8/14/2007
Msg: 28
Why are most men looking for Friends with Benefits?
Posted: 10/3/2007 4:48:21 PM
The reason i have seen is that with a friend with benefits there is no broken heart when it's over. Most women are heart less and don't think twice about breaking a mans heart.
Men get tired of having their hearts ripped out so they stop looking for love.
I was a true believer in true love. Now i'm not sure it ever existed.
I was taught by woman that you are a sucker to believe in true love.
I don't think i will ever be married again. Now my exwife is a friend with benefits to me. She would love to be married to me a third time. And says so.
I told her it will never happen again and i will be with anyone i wish .
Just like she did while we were married.
 jacko_all
Joined: 7/29/2005
Msg: 29
Why are most men looking for Friends with Benefits?
Posted: 10/3/2007 5:04:22 PM
"Why are most men looking for Friends with Benefits?"

It seems that people don't want to invest time in relationships.
Ignorantly put, "Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?"

Relationships I see people buying into are what I call "Wal-Mart relationships".
People like what they see and buy into it but end up getting screwed with poor quality. Then it's BAM! Back to the 'store' for another round. You try to be careful but there are so many 'deals' out there... Each time you get sucked in you are more cautious making it harder for honest 'daters' to connect.
It also seems people are more motivated by looks than by quality or content of profiles.

What ever happened to getting to know someone, dating and building a relationship?

Again all part of the instant gratification of a Wal-Mart Relationship!
If it's crap send it back! We gots deals a plenty!

Personally, I am old fashioned. I believe things are built over time.
I make a tidy sum, own 2 vehicles, blah, blah, blah.
All I want is a woman to share it with; and for me to share in her world.
It's sad people don't want to build a white picket fence dream anymore...
 HappyGilmore2
Joined: 4/30/2007
Msg: 30
Why are most men looking for Friends with Benefits?
Posted: 10/3/2007 5:14:00 PM

Because the women of our generation have enabled it.

You know the old saying...." Why buy the cow when the milks for free"?

Once again, sex is not a bargaining tool or a weapon you waive over men's heads! If you treat it as such, then don't complain about the consequences.

I believe that the real answer is somewhat different than the above explanation. As today's modern woman is becoming more independent, she is also becoming more comfortable with her sexuality. She starts to pursue careers and have come to the realization that she enjoys sex as much as men do. Since the old traditional ways of the woman’s sanctimony is slowly fading away, she is becoming increasingly free to explore and act upon her sexuality. In other words, she is now free to take or do what she wants without social judgment. And what is wrong with that?
 redfirelight
Joined: 9/27/2005
Msg: 31
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Why are most men looking for Friends with Benefits?
Posted: 10/3/2007 5:23:31 PM
Why not? Its like getting a free escort..whoo hoo.! Why should they commit themselves as women give it away so easy? If we didn't than maybe there would be more effort toward meaningful dating and marriage.
Women do this too but perhaps oriented moreso with very close friends when despairing that mr. right is most unlikely or are too needy to go without the extra closeness or at least the illusion.
If we keep the physical behind the emotional then when it catches up suddenly there is passion...mmmm... wait, its worth it!
wendy
 Just JJ
Joined: 2/20/2007
Msg: 32
Why are most men looking for Friends with Benefits?
Posted: 10/3/2007 5:44:04 PM

In other words, she is now free to take or do what she wants without social judgment. And what is wrong with that?



Whats wrong with that???? Absotively Posilutely NOTHING.. is wrong with that and power to the woman and all that.....

JUST don't whine and complain that the men you're sleeping with aren't committing and JUST view you as a F. buddy or a "friend with benefits"

Ladies, you can say what you want... but deep down men like a chase. Especially if they are chasing the woman that they want to settle down and make a family with. I doubt they want to nest down with a woman that is a F buddy?

Men.... is this fact or am I wrong? Maybe I am who knows. ..... Im just a afterall...
 chitownartlover
Joined: 8/2/2006
Msg: 33
Why are most men looking for Friends with Benefits?
Posted: 10/3/2007 5:50:35 PM
I think too many men just fear marriage and being screwed over in a divorce that they just want the sex and nothing more.

I also agree with this:


Because the women of our generation have enabled it.

You know the old saying...." Why buy the cow when the milks for free"?
 Coach_reds
Joined: 9/15/2007
Msg: 34
Why are most men looking for Friends with Benefits?
Posted: 10/3/2007 5:50:37 PM
I have seen it in both men and women
a lot not looking for anything serious others just having trust issues in the opposite sexso why not fuflfill their sexual need without the LTR
 steelcowboy1959
Joined: 9/1/2006
Msg: 35
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Why are most men looking for Friends with Benefits?
Posted: 10/3/2007 5:53:07 PM
I can explain this! Check out my profile,and tell me. If I say I am looking for a wife. ( and I did) Wouldn't it scare you off? (Be honest) it does doesn't it? See!
 Just JJ
Joined: 2/20/2007
Msg: 36
Why are most men looking for Friends with Benefits?
Posted: 10/3/2007 5:57:54 PM
ok I read it and it didnt scare me one iota! I think you wrote a beautiful profile. What's so scary other then you have been married 3 x?

We need details. Why married 3x? Who's fault etc......

Splain lucy Splain!! lol
 dreadstalker
Joined: 6/3/2007
Msg: 37
Why are most men looking for Friends with Benefits?
Posted: 10/3/2007 6:02:21 PM
Most people (men and women) don't understand that FWB is friends with benefits. It is always friends first and foremost. Anything else and they are just looking for a fvckbuddie.

OP you have to understand something. This is the net, you will run across all kinds here just as you do in the meat world.
 gardennut
Joined: 6/22/2006
Msg: 38
Why are most men looking for Friends with Benefits?
Posted: 10/3/2007 6:09:39 PM
Bethlet, I was surprised at your post that the majority of men who have contacted you were looking for NSA/FWB.

That was not my experience while I was involved in online dating. I'd say that maybe 10% were in this category. The great majority of men who contacted me were looking for a serious relationship.

There was a time where I could see how having a FWB would have its merits. Relationships just weren't working out for me. I have never been drawn to one-nighters, but I can see how no-strings sex with a male friend could be enticing, particularly after a period of sexual drought.

But the bottom line is that I wanted to love and be loved. A FWB just couldn't ever satisfy that need in me.

I suspect that most people engaged in FWB arrangements eventually move past them. They come to a point where these "relationships" feel like empty calories, and they long for something more filling.

But hoping for a long-term relationship with someone who is in the FWB phase is almost always a losing proposition. Most are not amenable to conversion.
 D90620
Joined: 7/9/2007
Msg: 39
Why are most men looking for Friends with Benefits?
Posted: 10/3/2007 6:14:12 PM
Let's put a little twist to this. why do so many women put in there prifile, "I want a man whom financilally secured"?. Do you ever see men say that ! Or are these women just after money ! Kind of like Msg 1 think those whom say looking for, "friend with benifit" are only looking for sex. Either way both are be honest and up front. Not playing games.
 boobyman
Joined: 12/10/2006
Msg: 40
Why are most men looking for Friends with Benefits?
Posted: 10/3/2007 6:22:19 PM
1st of all the men that are doin it are not hideing the fact their sexual desires are not being met for what ever reason...
2nd..last time i checked it takes two to be in a fwb relationship..
3rd..have ya looked to see how many women are listed in yer local "IE"section....dont blame just the men....

GAWD...another usless lame assed one sided post by some jilted or narrow minded person
 Just JJ
Joined: 2/20/2007
Msg: 41
Why are most men looking for Friends with Benefits?
Posted: 10/3/2007 6:23:34 PM
Now a day I think that when a woman requests that her potential date be financially secure that she is basically asking that this man be able to keep up with own financial plateau.

If she can afford to dine in finer restaurants or go to nice places... I would expect that she is asking the same of her date.

Lets face it.... male or female... no one wants to Date Down.


Hey Boobyman? Whats an IE section?


Now back to topic....... Friends with benefits.
 weaselontoast
Joined: 6/29/2007
Msg: 42
Why are most men looking for Friends with Benefits?
Posted: 10/3/2007 6:28:02 PM
GAWD...another usless lame assed one sided post by some jilted or narrow minded person

ONE sided? Jeezus people do you ever read the whole thing?


Most women are heart less and don't think twice about breaking a mans heart.
Men get tired of having their hearts ripped out so they stop looking for love.
I was a true believer in true love. Now i'm not sure it ever existed.
I was taught by woman that you are a sucker to believe in true love.


Wake up and smell the parity, this is already an equal opportunity bashfest.



Just once it would be refreshing to see a post where members of each team (sheep AND goats) say what they like/admire about the other, without mentioning body parts.

OH yeah, RIGHT, weasel! Like that's gonna happen on this planet??? Sometimes, I just crack me up.
 mr. dynomite
Joined: 9/11/2007
Msg: 43
Why are most men looking for Friends with Benefits?
Posted: 10/3/2007 6:49:43 PM

how does one sleep with a person and have no feelings for the other person?


There are entire marriages that start + end up like this.


if people want to strip away the legal paperwork/marriage license and get right down to the static cling free sex... all the power to them. (as long as they know what they are in for)
 Ferrus Manus
Joined: 2/14/2007
Msg: 44
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Why are most men looking for Friends with Benefits?
Posted: 10/3/2007 6:54:14 PM
because more women are open to the idea, and men don't have to worry about being hurt emotionally by the woman since there's no actual bond.
 boobyman
Joined: 12/10/2006
Msg: 45
Why are most men looking for Friends with Benefits?
Posted: 10/3/2007 7:39:19 PM
just janice ma luv......tell me yer kidden..yer on pof and dont know what an "IE" is....intimate encounter....sex...carnal knowlage,maken whoopie,danceing the non vertical dance.....

Ya cant be that nieve....
 boobyman
Joined: 12/10/2006
Msg: 46
Why are most men looking for Friends with Benefits?
Posted: 10/3/2007 7:43:24 PM
weaselontoast..i was referring to the original poster of this thread....to me its a usless one sided jilted narrow minded lover....how else would you explain the title of this thread..

Why wasnt it called why are people looking for fwb or words to that effect....
 Just JJ
Joined: 2/20/2007
Msg: 47
Why are most men looking for Friends with Benefits?
Posted: 10/3/2007 7:51:41 PM
Ummmmmm No I'm not NAIVE at all. I just didnt make the connection since I dont really pay attn to all the symbols in here. Exxxxxxcccccuuuusseeeeee ME mr POF professional!!

DAMN rough crowd in here! LMAO!
 kwh56
Joined: 8/7/2007
Msg: 48
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Why are most men looking for Friends with Benefits?
Posted: 10/3/2007 8:02:56 PM
Wow. I skimmed through this post fast and didnt see one that even comes close to what I would call a friend with benefits. I have said thats kinda what I am looking for but lets clarify a few things. One I am not one to just jump into bed with any woman I meet. Two Im not scared of commitment. My reasons for friends with benefits are that I would like to be exclusive with one woman however to be completely honest I am a divorced father with4 kids 2 still home full time. Between work and kids I just dont have the time to devote to a serious relationship. It wouldn't be fair to me, a woman or my kids at this point to even try. It would however be very nice to have a woman to go places with and to do thing with when I can arrange the time. The benefits make it even a sweeter deal as I stated earlier I have no desire what so ever to be in bed with one tonight and another one tomorrow night. Thats just not going to happen here!
 dreadstalker
Joined: 6/3/2007
Msg: 49
Why are most men looking for Friends with Benefits?
Posted: 10/3/2007 8:17:44 PM

Ladies, you can say what you want... but deep down men like a chase

No, some do, but most recognize it for the game that it is.
School games remain to be needed by the junior high school mentality.
 weaselontoast
Joined: 6/29/2007
Msg: 50
Why are most men looking for Friends with Benefits?
Posted: 10/3/2007 8:29:09 PM
why wasn't it called "why are people" looking for FWB


Well, booby one, I don't check women's profiles, so I can't tell you how many are looking for FWBs. I don't think "MOST" men are...but of that percentage of POF-ers (or any other online population) seeking FWBs.....I'd venture to guess it's MOSTLY men. If you'd like, I'll check 100 guys profiles and you check 100 girls profiles....we can compare the data.
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