| why only date good looking prima donna's?
Posted: 5/14/2005 1:40:25 PM | | I am a BBW.. I dont sit around and get down about myself neither should anyone!!! Either way you go skinny, fat, tall, short,yellow, brown ect... people are always gonna have something negative to say about you. Its a part of life...theres hotties out there that love us!! try www.bbwhotornot.com. | |
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| why only date good looking prima donna's?
Posted: 5/14/2005 1:42:18 PM | I guess......
if you were a beautiful woman
it would be better to be dumb and beautiful
than smart and beautiful then :)
maybe thats why sometimes a beautiful woman seems dumb...
that they have found it is of no benifit to them to be smart...lol
heck who knows?
lol | |
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| why only date good looking prima donna's?
Posted: 5/14/2005 1:56:24 PM | @ step
you drawn any conclusions yet?
lol
life is a journey and just when you think you have it figured out
the
question again changes.
maybe its better to take one man at a time and see because
EVERYTHING has degrees.
Some men are just less shallow than others and I think some of them have humble intentions... they are just making themselves clear
of the specifics they prefer.
Some men are just more relaistic than others.... I think everyone is probably looking for someone as close to how they view themselves.
thats all.
they just vary in how they go about it and the wording they use and the parimeters they set as to what is acceptable and whats not. | |
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| why only date good looking prima donna's?
Posted: 5/14/2005 10:53:29 PM | | I agree with people looking for a partner that looks like themselves. It's something I've observed. Eventually if you keep trying and don't settle you'll find a good person. | |
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| why only date good looking prima donna's?
Posted: 5/18/2005 5:41:07 PM | ""I agree with people looking for a partner that looks like themselves. opposites do attract!! I totaly disagree. I think all options should be left open. So if i was fat and ugly i should settle with fat and ugly....honstly looks do have some what of a say. Not so much as being fat or not. Society needs a wake up call. " weight comes off ugliness cant change" I would rather be fat and hot then ugly and skinny!!!   | |
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| why only date good looking prima donna's?
Posted: 5/18/2005 5:51:40 PM | | well steph it's like this. it all starts out with the basic attraction. not every guy finds a barbie doll type attractive. there are guys out there that are attracted to all different types of ladies. when you see someone you like, you tend to try and strike up a conversation with that person. then you try to get to know that person. it would never have even gotten started if he didn't find her attractive. i've never dated a good looking prima donna that you are thinking about. | |
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| why only date good looking prima donna's?
Posted: 5/18/2005 6:07:35 PM | i totally agree.
i date people i find attractive. i don't care about societal standards, what my friends think, or what anyone else thinks for that matter. they're not in my shoes, so why should they care...and by the same token, why should their opinion matter to me? | |
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| why only date good looking prima donna's?
Posted: 5/18/2005 6:33:45 PM | | I've dated both the "trophy" girls and the "nice girls." What they all had in common was intellect, education and confidence. Neither "type" seemed any better than the other to me. | |
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| why only date good looking prima donna's?
Posted: 5/18/2005 6:43:22 PM |
Here's the deal.....a bit on the heavy side is fine as long as she can keep up. If a person doesn't take care of ones self on the outside it just shows what's on the inside.
I've been down this road and I've see how her and all her large friends were. They honestly didn't care about being a large Marge even though they knew it was destroying thier health.
Killing ones self with food is something that I don't want to be around.
Biz......I have only one thing to say to this statement of yours...
I am FAT...yes, I will admit it.....I weight nearly 300 pounds...
I have also tried EVERY DIET KNOWN TO MAN.....have tried EVERY EXERCISE PROGRAM ON GOD'S GREEN EARTH.....all to no avail....
I haven't always been heavy..but an illness in highschool limited my activity and doctors used steriods to try to boost my immune system to fight the illness......what started as "water weight" became "fat" when the illness dragged on for over a year and half.......I went from being a size 7 cheerleader to being a size 18....and let me tell you....once weight is there, it isn't like you can snap your fingers and POOF IT'S GONE!!!!
I tried EVERYTHING......as mentioned earlier.....and managed to get down to a size 16..then got married and 6 months later, pregnant.....During my first pregnancy...I put on 75 pounds.....and 60 of them were just during my last 6 weeks of the pregnancy because of hypertension and pre-eclampsia....
and any woman who has had children can attest to how difficult it is to take off weight once it's there from being pregnant.....Second pregnancy (with all 75 pounds still hanging around from the first) I put on 50 more...(same complications, only worse the second time around)
I have managed to lose 30.....and my youngest is 21 1/2 months old.....
So......does the fact that I am so heavy mean that I have been "killing ones self with food"????????
NO.....I HAVE NOT BEEN.......AND I RESENT YOU IMPLICATION THAT IT IS!!!!
I'd love to lose all this weight....but the fact is that EVERYTHING I have tried doesn't work.......and I HAVE tried...I put my entire heart and soul into it.....but in all reality....there are some people in this world who CAN NOT LOSE WEIGHT WITHOUT HELP.......and I happen to be one of them....
My only option left is surgery..but I don't have $40,000 to pay for it, nor do I have insurance that will cover it....(most companies still won't because they say it is a "cosmetic" surgery)
So tell me, biz........WHAT OPTION DO I HAVE LEFT? I REFUSE to put some chemical in my body that will "curb the appetite" or that will "burn more fat"......ever notice how almost every "MIRACLE DIET DRUG" eventually ends up being banned because of the DEATHS they cause???
I visit my doctor often......I have no "health" issues such as diabetes, high blood pressure, blood sugar etc... that are a result of my weight...but there is one thing that I do have going against me and that is GENETICS.....because of family background...(and YES, genes DO play a role in how heavy a person is).....once the weight was on me, I am predisposed to having a difficult time taking it off.....almost every person on my father's side of the family is overweight...
My doctor and I both are convinced that if it hadn't been for my illness in high school, I could have continued to be a smaller person because my activity level wouldn't have been dramatically changed...but life had other plans for me.....and now I am who I am...take it or leave it.....
I am fat.....if someone handle a real woman who has some pounds on her....it's their loss, not mine.... | |
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| why only date good looking prima donna's?
Posted: 5/18/2005 7:01:28 PM | Lmom2,
There's someone out there for ya. Trust me, I'm fairly close to pure evil (in some people's minds, anyway) and I still find women who will date me. In other words, there's hope for all of us. | |
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| why only date good looking prima donna's?
Posted: 5/18/2005 7:04:37 PM | stephanie23
You have many great qualities from what I can see, you really should have no problems. Maybe the dudes are just being horn dogs. Look for a different type who will treat you well. You do better in the long run. | |
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| why only date good looking prima donna's?
Posted: 5/18/2005 7:08:33 PM | Thanks, Y....I know that too...it just irritates me when people who have not been in a particular situation make comments like that....not all heavy people are heavy because they are gluttons....I eat healthy..I eat only 3 meals a day and I exercise...yet I still weigh just as much...My body is just genetically predisposed to not let me lose weight that way...as are many people in this world...
I know there is someone out there for me who will love me for who I am....and I refuse to try to lose weight to impress someone.....I am trying to lose weight for MYSELF and noone else....if someone doesn't want to be with me because of my weight....like I said earlier....that's their loss.... | |
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| why only date good looking prima donna's?
Posted: 5/18/2005 7:20:48 PM | Lmom2 ... I've been there, darlin. Having been on the fringe of the "300 club" at one point in my life, I never knock anyone who is overweight. It's a horrible feeling and it's not like you don't realize your situation. I'm fortunate, however, in that I have always been able to put on and take off weight with relative ease. But I was no different a person regardless of my weight. I still struggle with it, and I probably always will. Best of luck to you  | |
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rc3
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Joined: 4/29/2005
Msg: 68 | |
| why only date good looking prima donna's?
Posted: 5/18/2005 7:58:01 PM | I am one of those guys who avoids very much larger women... It is largely because just a few years ago my cholesterol started to increase and I decided it would be best for me to be with someone who is both more active than me and has better more healthy eating habits than most (it is hard to stay on track if you are the only one trying to be healthy)... I realize that there are many people with some level of predisposition to gain weight, but the calories themselves still come from somewhere and are not being burned in other places... If this eliminates a few really awesome women from my dating circles, I just have to accept that... It sucks but I feel that I need to do as much as possible to not end up with heart disease...
Some guys do have REAL reasons... I think the difference is that since my reasons are logical choices made in an attempt to prevent a larger problem... I think the other difference is that I can be swayed from my opinion.. | |
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| why only date good looking prima donna's?
Posted: 5/19/2005 3:31:42 AM | | steph i see your pic dont think there are men who dont think your pretty -- i do - and i go threw what you are talking about --today it all about looks to some hell they would date a dead body if it looked good-----thanks for your stance on this ---chuckels | |
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sddude
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Joined: 11/4/2004
Msg: 71 | |
| why only date good looking prima donna's?
Posted: 5/19/2005 2:29:56 PM | Well steph , it is the fact of life , alot of guys will say they do not go for the babie type , they are full of crap , as soon as one of those come through my work they do go gaga over them , comment forever about the one that walked through the office , I work at a very large organization , mostly men,
When barbie is part of our team or is in charch I can see every guys eye light up but when a big woman walks by or is part of the team or in charge , their are secret guy coments and very seldom positive.
I am not flowering things up like other people , I really beleive is what is inside that counts but the animal in us is the way it is , that is why the media that is guy oriented has barbie types everywhere , in my car magazines , my tool calendars , in my coke camecials etc...
Woman do the some also , they would like the hunk type, tall dark and handsome with a great toned body , you don't ??? A guy like that repels you ? I do not think so . Guys wwho say they are not atracted to those types of woman are the guys who feel that they are out of their league and will not persue them , more likely they will try to get what they think is what they can get , more in their league.
Since we were teenagers , we men saw what beaty was in the cheerleaders in the beauty queens , all or most woman start off as thin in that part of our lives and the image of what a beautiful and desireable girl image stays with us and seldom changes .
i am short and womane say behind my back , man he is cute and very interesting, too bad he is short ... I cannot change that .
At what time I was overweight , chics would comment on the short fat guy , I could change the fat part it was hard , takes a long long time to change but worth it .
Now I am just short and will be the rest of my life , no diet or aerobic workout, surfing or weight trainig will change that and will never something woman look for .... a short guy .
But having a body to work with , so work it if you do not like the way you look , if you love yourself and the way you look , why do you care what other people think ? or any guy ?
I suspect you do and you quntify on who you are by what others say , we all do , yes we all do . Alot of people say they do not care but they do they do not want to admit to it , makes them seem to have more wisdom in the eyes of others. Why do you think we do not do certain things in public or wears cloths from the 10th century ? cuz we care what others think .
It is just my thought , you are actually cute . if you do not like what you see and feel less competetive than other woman , change what you think could change , love youself first .
I can not give you any solution it is all in you , get into a big girl club in your town , in san diego there quite of few , even dance clubs that cater to big women , dating sites for big woman . I bet you get more dates than I do . | |
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| why only date good looking prima donna's?
Posted: 5/20/2005 6:35:05 AM | ty for the advice for the ones that gave it.... as for me changing what i can to make myself happy... i have and am still doing so. i used to weigh 403 lbs i had a gastric bypass surgery. so dealing with the issue of bbw is something i am a master at. and no.. you know what i can honestly say this..... i'm the opposite.. when a good looking guy walks by..... i don't check them out... because i'm sterotyping them in my own mind as someone who is into the skinny, and who would not look at my twice.. i go for the bigger guys. i'm a bigger girl. i like feeling safe and small..lol... and dating a bigger guy makes that possible. it also seems like the "older" generation doesn't have a problem with a woman who has some weight on her. it tends to be my generation that has the issue or weight and looks. good god..... it just cracks me up. i watch nascar, football, fishing, hiking, camping, 4-wheeling, mudding....i do guy stuff..but i am also very much a lady and a woman when need be..i think i'm descent looking.......i just have a bigger ass than some.. and i'm single.....lol | |
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| why only date good looking prima donna's?
Posted: 5/20/2005 7:54:24 AM | I know that attraction for me is visual as well as mental. I think relationships are built on the basic physical attraction between two people. It lasts if there is a mental attraction, but starts due to physical attraction.
Personally, I find the athletic, thin and toned women as attractive.I know I am not alone.
To me, the bbw doesn't do it for me. Like you I want someone who I match with. You feel 'protected' with a bigger guy. I guess I feel a little in the more traditional role with a thinner, smaller woman. I could be your best friend, but if that urge to, for lack of a better term, jump your bones, isn't there, it will NEVER work. | |
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| why only date good looking prima donna's?
Posted: 5/20/2005 8:12:29 AM | I used to be 240 and I remember the looks that I got from most reasonably attractive women (my version of attractive)and I didn't feel good about myself when I saw those looks. More often I just felt like I wasn't even noticed other than as a friend. Some of my women friends tried to set me up once in a while and the choices they found for me always included larger women. Setting aside personalities and just looking at women I don't know from a distance , deep down inside I generally find an athletic body (or reasonably close facsimile) to raise my blood pressure. This tells me what I'm visually attracted to. Now I'm down to about 210 (hard exercise every day, cutting down the size of almost every meal and less fatty foods over the last 3 years)and I notice I get a lot more attention from the women that I'm attracted to. I don't think this issue of not attracting as many people because of our size is limited to just larger women. The bias goes both ways but I don't think we can change natural instincts by complaining about them. Many studies indicate that there are certain VISUAL things that create sexual desire in both male and female. This is not all of sexual desire but it is a part of it. These feelings are instinctual and that's why the media uses them to advertise. The blame is often put on the advertising industry for creating this shallow visual society. They maybe focusing an unbalanced amount of attention on the visual but the advertising industry is just taking advantage of something that's already programed into us. As much as we run down people for being shallow I don't think socially pressuring people by shaming them is going to change anyones natural instincts. That's just the way we're made and I've come to accept that. | |
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