| Do you attract a certain type, and feel it's something YOU did?
Posted: 10/9/2007 1:12:56 AM | | For sure what you show of yourself to others is a big factor in how they will feel about you. How you behave is what they see and you are in control of how you behave. Also, to a large extent, how you perceive yourself is something that is a significant factor in how others see you. If you see yourself as being valuable for one thing or another then you will tend to display that valuable thing when you are hoping to be valued. This might be being incredibly helpful or having a good figure or anything -- then because you believe that that is what is valuable about you, you'll be attracting those who value exactly that, who may well all be of a similar type. There are so many examples and variations of this that come up on the forums every day. | |
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| Do you attract a certain type, and feel it's something YOU did?
Posted: 10/9/2007 9:48:20 AM |
I've heard women say over and over "I only attract ____ guys"
As if they took an active role. And they are somehow at fault.
It's true that the vibes you put out will bring certain personalities to you. Whatever you grew up with and identify with as normal or comfortable, tends to come to you.
Do you seriously think it's something YOU have control over, when it comes to guys you attract?
I KNOW I do. I'm not passive socially at all, but sometimes I just don't want to be bothered - I go out and nothing grabs me - on nights like this I challenge hounds. Ick... I REALLY don't like em. But, I'm told I come off as intimidating, and so the guys using the pushy method are the ones who will talk to me - and they really don't get it. Ironically, a lot of them think I'm shy - and then when they talk to me, find out it's not even close to being true - sucks to be them!
This confuses me. How do you take credit for being passive?
In the case of these men, I assume they watch what I do...or think they'll be the one that's gonna get me to dance, talk, whatever. Chances are I've already seen em and categorized them as not my thing. | |
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| Do you attract a certain type, and feel it's something YOU did?
Posted: 10/10/2007 1:05:11 AM | Whatever you grew up with and identify with as normal or comfortable, tends to come to you.
I'm not sure I agree with this. I seem to fall for psycho chicks. I'm not talking about those a bit looney, I mean the ones who actually end up medicated and seeing therapists on a regular basis. I never grew up around that type of person, it ain't normal to me, why am I ending up with whack jobs? lol
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| Do you attract a certain type, and feel it's something YOU did?
Posted: 10/15/2007 9:10:20 PM | To be completely honest, I attract a certain type of guy because of my race. But, therein lies my complication. I'm black, sure, but I'm really attracted to white guys but who can tell that right off the bat, right?! It's nothing I've DONE, so much as how I LOOK! | |
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| Do you attract a certain type, and feel it's something YOU did?
Posted: 10/15/2007 9:17:57 PM |
It depends on what kind of geek you are looking for. They're not all the same either. Do you want someone really straight-laced, eccentric, or a geek that also plays computer games?? Also, do they have to be American, or are you including foreign in there? Is India included? (I think I'm 3 hours away from you, so I'm shocked you're not finding more in your area. Aren't you by Davenport, IA?)
Amazing how easy it is to lose a thread on here.
I am by Davenport. Not sure about straight-laced. Eccentric is a big plus. Computer games are optional. Mostly I'd like someone who's read the Colm Meany thread on here and gets at least 3/4 of the references. Someone who's DVD and book shelves would blend nicely with my own. I'm assuming by foreign you mean lives here, but not from around here? Foreign is not an issue for me, but despite the fact that we do have a large Indian population here, I have rarely met anyone from India in person. Strange that. And yes, there are geeks here (heck I work with plenty), but alas I think they're all busy watching Beauty and the Geek. | |
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| Do you attract a certain type, and feel it's something YOU did?
Posted: 10/16/2007 4:39:35 PM | Shortly after my divorce, my brother in jest asked me; "Does this mean that I can break out the waiting list for you now?" I replied, "No, I'm going to take time for myself for a while". After a short series of names that he rattled off, and I declined he asked "Why, not your type?" I responded "No! I just need to be alone!" He then asked "What IS your type anyhow?" It immediately hit me, and I exclaimed "Apparently, it's tall, handsome, great smile, can't keep a job, needs a mother!"
What I realized was, I had choosen the same man my entire life...they just all had different faces. That would continue until I changed ME!
To explain further; whether we are conscious of it or not, who we attract is based on what we choose for ourselves and what we believe of ourselves. Energy attracts energy. What you put out, is what will be received.
It wasn't until I took a self inventory, and took responsibility for myself that I began to see that people (whether it be on a friendship, collegue, or romantic level) seek out their mirrors. In order for a different type of man to present himself to me, I needed to become that person for myself.
Does this make sense to anyone? | |
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| Do you attract a certain type, and feel it's something YOU did?
Posted: 10/16/2007 5:33:08 PM |
It wasn't until I took a self inventory, and took responsibility for myself that I began to see that people (whether it be on a friendship, collegue, or romantic level) seek out their mirrors. In order for a different type of man to present himself to me, I needed to become that person for myself.
Does this make sense to anyone?
Perfect sense... except its never worked for me. I do not attract the type of women I'm attracted to (sadly). Perhaps I havn't fully been able to reinvent myself... | |
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| Do you attract a certain type, and feel it's something YOU did?
Posted: 10/16/2007 6:33:24 PM | | Overall I think I attract "good guys" to be completely broad. For instance, other than online, & I don't even get it here too much, I have never been approached inapropriately. People tell me I come off as reserved until they have spent time with me. Maybe that's why. They can tell upfront it's not gonna fly with me. | |
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| Do you attract a certain type, and feel it's something YOU did?
Posted: 10/17/2007 12:25:08 PM | well for a while I went through a phase of attracting 'Rhians' or 'Reanns' who were all self centred and only after sex. Yes I know those are names. And I have no idea how the hell that works! (so dont ask, and it was quite a while back).
I might have believed that was something I was doing - but to be able to pin it down to people that have the same sounding name is, well, its a bit ... too accurate to be doing that with strangers lol. | |
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| Do you attract a certain type, and feel it's something YOU did?
Posted: 10/17/2007 1:43:22 PM | I have often referred to myself as a "Mike" magnet or a "Leo" magnet." ;)
I think I look like a mommy type, so I tend to attract men who needed to be mommied. And, for a long time, I grooved on that cargiver mentality. I havent steadilt dated anyone for a couple of years, and I would like to think I will be a bit smarter next time.
BTW, a geek bites the heads off chickens. | |
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| Do you attract a certain type, and feel it's something YOU did?
Posted: 10/17/2007 2:09:35 PM | I tend to attract the freaks. And not the fun ones.
I know why though especially on here. I tend to be too nice and since I have to chat with people all day at work it carries over into my personal life too. So I either need to start being a b!tch on a regular basis, or I don't know what. | |
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| Do you attract a certain type, and feel it's something YOU did?
Posted: 10/17/2007 2:20:42 PM | | I don't know if I would say I "attract" a certain type of guy. I think of it more as "limited" myself to a certain type. Many moons ago I sporadically engaged in recreational use of alcohol and marijuana. Because I didn't have a problem controlling my own use I saw no reason to stop and limited myself to guys who also used. That doesn't mean we had the same views or habits, but it took me a while to figure that out. That was my bad. | |
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washie
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Joined: 8/21/2007
Msg: 38 | |
| Do you attract a certain type, and feel it's something YOU did?
Posted: 10/17/2007 3:57:38 PM | | Alright, I seem to attract needy men who need someone to take care of them...not too sure why, maybe I have a nurturing aura about me LOL. If it's not that then I tend to attract men who are looking to get laid...this site is bad for that...I can't tell you how many times I've gone over my profile wondering if I've subconsciously put in there 'looking to get laid'...no matter how many time I look, I still don't see it! | |
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