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| Is red hot romance possible after 50?
Posted: 8/6/2009 5:00:43 PM | | I'm 58 and just want to say, not only is it possible, it's true. I still get the same feelings that I did when I was 20! If there's chemistry happening, age is not a factor. | |
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| Is red hot romance possible after 50?
Posted: 8/6/2009 5:19:25 PM | | It is very possible. I believe that the chemistry has to be just right though, and that both parties must be free emotionally to be involved with each other. | |
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| Is red hot romance possible after 50?
Posted: 8/12/2009 9:04:42 PM | I will answer this question with an example.
On August 7th my current boyfriend and I reached the six month mark since our first date. To me this was a landmark occassion worthy of celebration. Usually I cook dinner for the two of us and we stay home and enjoy just being together, but I asked him if he minded going out to celebrate. Of course he was willing.
I called the restaurant where we had our first date and asked about reserving the table where we sat that night. When we arrived at the restaurant and we were seated he knew immediately that the table was where we sat on our first date. We both ordered the same meal we had that night. The waitress accidently forgot to enter our food order into the computer and apologized for the delay. We explained we were in no hurry that we were celebrating the 6th month "anniversary" of our first date, and that night we lingered over dinner for four hours. We enjoyed a wonderful meal. The waitress at the end of the evening told us we were an adorable couple.
When we arrived home I had a table in my bedroom set with plates, silverware, coffee cups, and crystal wine glasses. I bought a dozen roses and put them in a vase on the table, along with candles. I made a red velvet cake with cream cheese icing and baked it in a heart shaped pan. I bought a bottle of sparkling grape juice and put it on ice. I made a pot of toffee nut coffee to have with the cake. I dipped strawberries in chocolate. The final preparation I made was sprinkling rose petals on the sheets.
Unfortunately, after the big meal we didn't have room for the cake or the strawberries.
I sent them home with him the next day. Even though we didn't partake of them the night before the romantic gesture was not lost on him.
We talked about how the six month mark in a relationship is a time when many look back at the last six months and say either, "What the heck am I doing dating you, and break up," or "boy that six months was a lot of fun, sign me up for the next six." We both agreed we looked forward to the next six month together.
We laid back on the rose covered bed and kissed and made love for hours before falling asleep. When we woke the next morning we made love again, showered and dressed and went out for breakfast where we lingered over the meal and coffee just enjoyed being together.
Now my boyfriend has not been in a relationship since his divorce over ten years ago.
I think celebrating a six month landmark is a "girl" thing, but he did not mind going along with me on this. I know he appreciated every little romantic gesture . To me red hot romance is possible after 50. We are living proof. | |
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| Is red hot romance possible after 50?
Posted: 8/13/2009 10:17:52 AM | | Absolutely, positively. I am 60; GF is 58. After 9 months, this is still the most exhilarating experience of my life, in all respects. | |
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| Is red hot romance possible after 50?
Posted: 8/21/2009 10:03:15 AM | Absolutely. I'm 50. Until very recently, I was having these same doubts. After my divorce, I dated for 2-1/2 years, with a 4 month relationship in the middle, and never found the spark. The one time I thought that I did, I was just fooling myself because I wanted it to happen.
Then, on vacation, I bumped into a woman in a gas station convenience store. We exchanged phone numbers because she was having car trouble and I was going her way. In a nutshell - we spent that night together and are in c0nstant contact, though we are 500 miles apart. We shared things with each other from the first night that we never have with anyone else. When she is feeling down, it brings me down until I can cheer her up. No matter what life has thrown at either of us, after we talk, I feel a warm glow. I wrote a poem for her, the first in 30+ years, that stunned even me.
As a relationship, it's - sadly  - probably doomed, but it does prove to me that red hot chemistry knows no age limit. | |
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| Is red hot romance possible after 50?
Posted: 8/22/2009 11:43:46 AM | !Absolutely!...
~At least MY hopes are high . . I know that a L O T of guys can't even _Spell_ the word!!
If it weren't, I'd be out on that L o n g walk to nowhere...!!! | |
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| Is red hot romance possible after 50?
Posted: 8/22/2009 1:35:22 PM |
Most of my life I have been an incurable romantic. I have never been married but discarded the notion a few years back that expecting a red hot chemistry kind of relationship at this age (51) was probably unlikely. For one thing, most people my age have children and grandchildren. I find it hard to relate to this as I have neither. Also most people my age, me included, have at least one or two medical issues that makes us unlikely Romeo and Juliets. So I reasoned that if I could find someone around my age that was a nice person that is about as much as I could hope for. Well, I met such a person and we have dated sporadically for several months now, but I have come to the conclusion that I am just not going to develop feelings for this person. There just seems to be nothing there. Before I terminate this thing can anyone tell me if I am nuts to expect to find red hot romance at this age? I mean the kind of thing that inspires you to write poetry or paint pictures, that sort of thing?
Disclaimer: Read the full reply before jumping,,,
OP, you explained exactly why you're not enthralled. Read your post. You said you discarded the notion,,, W T H? Why did you give in ? What discouraged you? You realize that you settled for something you thought was basically tolerable, right?
Let's have a talk here bud,,,
I don't remember Romeo and Juliet mentioning sex so,,, the romance part IS still an option, right? Your brain is the biggest sex organ you possess,,, don't fold yet. You might be dealing with guilt right now pal, it's time to come clean with both her and yourself. Explain exactly how you feel and do not sugar coat it with anything. She as a human deserves to be fully aware of her chances and your feelings towards her.
Now, as for you,,, you need to do some deep soul searching. If you feel the reason for throwing in the towel is guilt, inability to form a bond or even that you feel unattractive, it's time to undo that frikkin mess here and now. On the other hand, if you're a dipstick that doesn't give sh*t about others, well, you have done the right thing sort of,,, to complete the proper action would to be to not involve another whose feelings can be damaged by you.
As for the base article of the ability to have red hot romance at our age, scroll up to where I mentioned your brain. It IS the biggest sex organ along with the ability to feel passion, love and pleasure. If you're brain dead ( highly doubtful since you've started this thread ), you still have a possibility of acquiring a long lasting love to carry you over to whatever you believe happens after life,,,
-shakes you, makes you count how many fingers I am holding up, splashes some water in your face and sends you back into the ring-
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| Is red hot romance possible after 50?
Posted: 8/22/2009 1:42:04 PM | Possible after 50? Oh, yes. Been there done that in my 50's that one ended.
Now wondering if it will be possible again in my 60's I expect so. grins. Thanks for the reassurance bicoastal | |
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| Is red hot romance possible after 50?
Posted: 8/22/2009 3:58:13 PM | | NewtoMichiana: Absolutely true ... thanks for "giving the OP a shake" .... we should all remember that romance, love, passion, are all ageless .... you can have it if you keep yourself open to unlimited possibilities.... | |
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| Is red hot romance possible after 50?
Posted: 8/22/2009 4:13:19 PM | you are not only nuts...you are so wrong ... it could be used as a marker...
famous words from a motivational speaker...
THE BELIEVE MAKES IT SO
as long as you are alive you have the ability to find what you hunger for... you just have to believe you are worth it!
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| Is red hot romance possible after 50?
Posted: 8/30/2009 6:26:07 AM | | God, I hope so. For me romance is a must in a realationship, but it can come in many forms. What is romance to me may not be so to anyone else. I know that at 56 I am more open and adventurous than when I was younger. There is a huge difference between romance and red hot sex, if you can find both, count yourself extremely lucky. | |
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| Is red hot romance possible after 50?
Posted: 9/17/2009 7:26:24 PM | i was reading The New York Times online today and came across an article that made me think of this thread.
it's in the weddings/celebrations section and is the story of a couple who were friends as teenagers and reconnected almost 70 years later. they were married late last month after a two year courtship.
she's 83 and he's 84.
just reading their story made me a believer again. | |
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| I would hope so
Posted: 9/17/2009 7:46:58 PM | | I would hope so. I can't vision a life with out. | |
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| Is red hot romance possible after 50?
Posted: 9/17/2009 8:10:32 PM |
she's 83 and he's 84.
just reading their story made me a believer again. Amen! I've got hope! I just wonder if it will take another 30+ years...patience...not my best virtue! | |
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| Is red hot romance possible after 50?
Posted: 9/17/2009 8:13:07 PM | | I would say patience is my worst virtue, but I understand why I feel like I do...time is wasting and I want someone who understands that all the pretenses in the world just makes for lonely bedfolk | |
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| Is red hot romance possible after 50?
Posted: 9/18/2009 1:58:02 PM | | I know of a man who was widowed at about the age of 90. His marriages had been OK, but not wonderful. Within a couple of years he met and married a woman and told his son who is my frend that he was deeply in love with this new woman. His son told me he had never seen his father so happy. | |
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| Is red hot romance possible after 50?
Posted: 9/18/2009 1:58:21 PM |
we should all remember that romance, love, passion, are all ageless .... you can have it if you keep yourself open to unlimited possibilities....
I don't know why people think romance "belongs" to the young. As far as I am concerned romance is wasted on youth. It is all a state of mind.
I get tickled when kids think about their parents being sexual beings who enjoy physical intimacy and romance. Their reaction sometimes is EEWWWW! Funny thing is when I grew up, I knew sex and romance was alive with my parents. You could tell by the way they treated each other, the hugs and the squeezes when they thought no one was looking. My attitude is as long as I have a mind to think and breath to breathe, sex and romance will stay a vital part of my life.
Right now my man and I are planning a romantic weekend getaway... cabin for two int he mountains of Gatlinburg. Big four poster bed, fireplace, jacuzzi for two in the bathroom, hot tub on the deck , kitchen and dining area, all in a secluded setting surrounded by the beauty of nature. I don't care if we never leave the cabin. If we never leave the cabin I would say it was a wonderful getaway. Tee hee. If we do leave the cabin it will be to get some rest from all the recreation going on indoors.
So, is red hot romance possible after 50? Darn tootin'! | |
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| Is red hot romance possible after 50?
Posted: 9/18/2009 4:35:58 PM | You are not nuts. I too not so long ago reasoned like you did -- that after a bunch of nasty, or a bunch of nothing, "nice" is enough.
It might be for some, but if it's not for you, I don't think it's something you can change about yourself. | |
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| Is red hot romance possible after 50?
Posted: 9/18/2009 6:18:16 PM | | Absolutely, without a doubt. When I find "him," that's how it'll be --- red burning hot, butterflies, can't wait, nuts about each other. | |
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| Is red hot romance possible after 50?
Posted: 9/18/2009 8:50:35 PM | OP is an old post, but:
Is red hot romance possible after 50?
For God sakes, yes. Your body may falling apart, but your brain isn't dead it is?
Is this serious question? | |
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| Is red hot romance possible after 50?
Posted: 9/19/2009 8:28:22 AM | Not to sound unkind because it is not intended, but this has to be a personal issue for all of those that have never had it.
I have had it in every relationship, as a two way street. My question to myself has been, should I avoid red hot romances and find one where we really like and greatly respect each other in leiu of the red hot romance so it will be more stable, sure and predictable for a commited marriage? Screw the LTR, I mean, all of my relationships have been long term, which doesn't equal marriage. The issue was more than not, me. I wasn't sure I was ready for marriage, but now I am.
I think we think of all sorts of answers, but when the right person comes at the right time, that is when we make the plunge. The right time is completely in our own thought patterns. You are drawing what you believe to you, good or bad. Change your thoughts, change your life.
When we get older it takes longer because most of us are here because of our thoughts and beliefs and at this age, fewer and fewer are willing to change anything, so finding another person ready is the wait.
If you don't believe this, then ask yourself why newly widowed people that had a GREAT and happy marriage, usually are married and in another GREAT relationship within 2 years of becoming widowed. They have the right thoughts and beliefs about themselves and finding the right person.
I know there has been a great improvement in my situation since I have been working on my thoughts and beliefs, so I expect even greater changes when I get really good at it to the point of changing the improved patterns to be my norm and not have to think about it.
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