| Is red hot romance possible after 50?
Posted: 10/10/2007 5:38:30 AM |
[/quote The box of matches lay untouched atop the mantelpiece. He would not use them, having once burned his fingers.]
Wow. Great metaphor. I think you just described my situation exactly. | |
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| Is red hot romance possible after 50?
Posted: 10/10/2007 5:48:16 AM | I sure hope so...50 looms upon me. I am now old enough to think that 50 is not old so I am optimistic that I will enjoy a lustful hot romance; perhaps even one that lasts until 50 is a distant memory. Whether it is possible, who knows, but I am still young enough to dream.  | |
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| Is red hot romance possible after 50?
Posted: 10/10/2007 5:52:33 AM |
[/quote Since passing the age of 50 I have had three remarkable romantic relationships. They were all highly sensual, romantic and sexual in every sense. The women who were great looking, athletic and shapely were 11, 20 and 16 years younger than me and that clearly helped a lot!
Go out and find some younger hotties and have fun!]
Eeeeeewwwwww! | |
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| Is red hot romance possible after 50?
Posted: 10/10/2007 6:18:21 AM | ...can anyone tell me if I am nuts to expect to find red hot romance at this age?
You're not nuts. This past summer, at the ripe old age of 50, I had a red hot romance -- heart-pounding, lump-in-the-throat, mind-blowing romance. I was deliriously happy and wanted it to last forever. We clicked on every level; the chemistry was intense. Unfortunately, I eventually found out that he was still seeing other women. Ouch. End of romance, and end of relationship.
But you know what? I believe I can find it again. I'm dating someone else now, and am just enjoying it day by day. I think it's when we put on the pressure of focusing on "can I spend the rest of my life with this person" that we run into trouble. Instead, my thoughts are along the line of "can this person and I benefit from spending some time together". That allows me to just savor a pleasant evening of male companionship without the extra pressure and expectations. It's made the whole dating process much more enjoyable for me. And if, along the way, I get to experience another red hot romance, then it will just be icing on the cake. | |
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| Is red hot romance possible after 50?
Posted: 10/10/2007 6:39:52 AM | Oh yeah, and as a matter of fact, I am prone to believe that we have gleaned from all of our life experiences and that it's even MORE possible............maybe harder to find the right person, bc everyone' is "hot to trot" at 20, but if you find that "connection".............the fireworks are going to happen!
I am so glad that I took great care of myself all of my life. My ex ever appreciated it , and I had no clue I would end up divorced. | |
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| Is red hot romance possible after 50?
Posted: 10/10/2007 7:18:39 AM |
Before I terminate this thing can anyone tell me if I am nuts to expect to find red hot romance at this age? I mean the kind of thing that inspires you to write poetry or paint pictures, that sort of thing?
The kind of 'thing' that inspires one to write poetry or paint pictures is all around you and also within you. The moment 'love' no longer resembles what we think it should, we're ready to terminate a relationship rather than let it mature into what it's meant to be. The relationship can change and it might possibly be a valuable and meaningful aspect of your life....if both people are willing to stick it out through the growing pains. So it's not what you wanted it to be; unless it's turning into something totally unacceptable to one or both, why do you feel the need to terminate? | |
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fay98
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Joined: 8/8/2007
Msg: 59 | |
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| Is red hot romance possible after 50?
Posted: 10/10/2007 2:46:36 PM | RDtoo
I think dating at our age is a little different but 50 really isn't old. Certainly not too old to enjoy a hot physical relationship and a wonderful friendship. What's lost in youthful exhuberance is more than made up for in experience and confidence. Add some playful humour and ........ hmmm....... well that's my ideal.
What makes things more difficult at 50 is that we are seeking friendship, compatability and chemistry and have reached a point in our lives where we are probably less flexible in terms of adjusting to a partner. In our 20's we are very flexible and mostly looking for chemistry ........ explains the high divorce rate I guess.
So far I have found chemistry but nothing else and friendship/compatability but no chemistry. The other thing I forgot to mention is that being single can be extremely enjoyable! So maybe we should call ourselves the Fussy Fifties!
Dont give up RDtoo .... all things are possible | |
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| Is red hot romance possible after 50?
Posted: 10/10/2007 7:30:22 PM | yes, yes, yes, Yes Oh Gawd, YES!!!!!!!
I'll be fifty in a few weeks and I'm sure it will be even better as the 'best' yet was in my 40's. Woohooo something to look forward too!!
For me, it really has gotten much better with each year.
And SwampThing??? Hand me those dang matches!!! | |
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| Is red hot romance possible after 50?
Posted: 10/10/2007 9:00:49 PM | You know, it's really strange. Just when you think it's not possible anymore, you meet someone and you think "hey, wait a minute, wait a minute...what's happening here?"
The possibilities are there. Whether you want to take the risk of emotional involvement again, is another question. Like others have said, we get real leary after putting our hand on that hot stove.
But it's been said "tis better to have loved and lost, than to have never loved at all". The older you get, it seems, the dreams and emotions are still there. The wanting to care for someone, and be cared for, becomes even more important.
Romance and passion become more beautiful the older you get, because, realistically,
you know there is less time to enjoy all the best things in life.
I speak only from what I have experienced and reasoned. JMO  | |
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| Is red hot romance possible after 50?
Posted: 10/10/2007 9:28:11 PM | | Thanks for all the great responses. A couple of you mentioned that those red hot chemisty type of things tend to burn out fast. I have to admit that has usually been the case. I have never been married and have never been in a relationship over 2 years. Most of my romances have been red hot short lived type of things. Fun while it lasted though. A few years back having lost my father and mother and having no kids or much family to speak of, I decided that if I could just meet a decent person maybe I could learn to love this person and not have to grow old alone. Well, just reading this thread has made me determined not to compromise on what I am looking for even if it never comes. The great thing about this is that once I made this decision, it was like taking off a mask or a disguise. I kind of feel like myself again. That might not make sense to anyone, but that is ok. Your reponses have helped. | |
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| Is red hot romance possible after 50?
Posted: 10/10/2007 9:43:10 PM | RD, RD, RD.... red hot is only going to last as long as you participate in wanting it to. It's all, ok maybe not all, between the ears and in the heart.
You have to want it and then nurture it. Want it and it will come to you.
I don't think people even have to have much in common to feel the love/lust romance.
But we get busy in our everyday lives of work, issues, .... and we begin to give each other our griefs more than our 'miss yous'. Red hot romance embers turn to ash without a blower. sorry, couldn't help myself. | |
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| Is red hot romance possible after 50?
Posted: 10/11/2007 5:02:51 AM | Of course it is ,,, what's wrong with you people ,, ??
Try getting off the "agenda" train ,, and go enjoy life ,, it ain't going to last much longer ,,,,,,!!!!!! | |
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| Is red hot romance possible after 50?
Posted: 10/11/2007 8:06:51 AM | | RD it burns out for one of two reasons. First, one of the people involved decides they don't want it any more because of something they find out about the other person. Second, one or both the people involved lack understanding of what it takes to keep it going. It is a romantic fallacy that love is some magic thing that just keeps on going if it is really meant to be. It takes both attitude and action to keep it alive as a relationship goes through its various stages. If you really want to learn what you need to do to be ready next time, study a book called "Keeping the Love You Found". If I had known this before I got married, I would have done things very differently and probably would not be here. | |
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| Is red hot romance possible after 50?
Posted: 10/11/2007 12:12:06 PM | in responce to the thread question
IS RED HOT ROMANCE POSSIBLE AFTER 50?
I SURE HOPE SO.
what the op stated in the original post was kinda sad,, " a nice person that is about as much as i cant hope for"
meeting someone nice wouldnt be such a bad thing, and to put such low expectations on romance is to doom it to fail in my opinion. i dont know that the romance is supposed to inspire you to write or paint, but it should inspire your heart to beat a bit faster. your smile to be that much richer, your step a little lighter. there is something to be said about being comfortable with someone.
just my 2 pennies. but dont sell yourself or her short. if what you two have together isnt what you want, then dont do that to another person. end it now on good terms. | |
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| Is red hot romance possible after 50?
Posted: 10/11/2007 1:06:45 PM |
Romance and passion become more beautiful the older you get  ... because it reflects not a spur of the moment but nurturing that comes hand in hand with respect and TLC. | |
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| Is red hot romance possible after 50?
Posted: 10/11/2007 1:22:22 PM | | Well, I turned SIXTY in August and I'm not DEAD YET, so yes, I certainly hope so! I still have the same passionate feelings, just a bit more cautious about a partner to share them with. | |
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| Is red hot romance possible after 50?
Posted: 10/11/2007 6:08:50 PM | Of course it's possible! It has absolutely nothing to do with age!
Didn't you ever date someone for awhile in your teens or twenties and realize that the "passion" wasn't there? Why do you think it would be any different after 50?
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| Is red hot romance possible after 50?
Posted: 10/11/2007 11:34:18 PM | P-trish, yeah I guess that sounded kind of pathetic saying that "meeting a nice person is about as much as I can hope for". Let me try to clarify that. I have no problem meeting women my age that want to date me. From what I have seen though, many people 50 and over suffer from depression or other health issues. I know I do and most women I have met do. Many of us our set in our ways so much, that putting forth an effort to allow someone into our lives is an effort. Something I have noticed in many women that I have met is that their lives revolve around their children and grandchildren so much that they will not let anyone into their life. So, I think it is difficult to find love after 50. I know scores of people over 50 who just accept it. Defeated attitude or realistic? I'm not sure but as I said earlier I have decided not to accept less than what I hope to find even if it never comes.
WaywardSeeker, sounds like a good book. I will have to check it out.
One last thing. In reference to my OP. I read about a guy who was around 60 who went to these speed dating things where you have 2 minutes with each person. His main question was to ask what medications they were on. LOL. There might be something to be said for doing that. So over 50 dating has got to be different than dating in your 20s and 30s. | |
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