| Single vs. Divorced...what should my relationship status be?
Posted: 10/31/2007 7:10:39 PM |
Diem, What does the word "divorce" mean to you? To end a marriage by legal means. Divorce is the action I took to become divorced, which is a descriptor indicating I am no longer married. Single is also a descriptor, along with stripper, dancer, and many other terms.
what is the big deal that makes so many people want to hide this fact in the dating world? Who said they use the term single to hide the fact they were divorced? If you have had the unfortunate experience of encountering someone that did that, I am sorry. It does not mean that I am attempting to hide anything.
It is not a lie that I am single. It deceives no one. Is it a lie of omission like someone else pointed out? Could be, but only if the individual never tells you or never has the intentions of telling you. You do not spill your life story out to someone on the first few dates, but using the same logic, it would be a lie of omission to not tell your prospective partner everything the first few dates. | |
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| Single vs. Divorced...what should my relationship status be?
Posted: 10/31/2007 8:29:37 PM | | When they say single they are hiding the fact that they are diivorced and if that is being done how much more are they hiding, so its a lie to me if they say single when they are divorced. And i would not have anything to do with a lier if they lie about one thing they will lie about alot more. | |
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| Single vs. Divorced...what should my relationship status be?
Posted: 10/31/2007 8:41:33 PM |
so its a lie to me Now we get to the heart of the matter.. it's a lie to you. Again, it is your perception and implications that you apply to the word regardless of what reality is. You don't even give them the chance to tell you, and when they do, they are a liar for stating a truth... they ARE single AND they are divorced. Isn't that being just a tad bit narrow minded? | |
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| Single vs. Divorced...what should my relationship status be?
Posted: 10/31/2007 9:38:03 PM | I've never been married but if someone puts 'single' as their status, that's all that matters. the point is they aren't legally married, again, WHAT matters.
Why would anyone think they are a liar? If they are single, then they aren't married, which is the opposite.
Not looking/Not single is an option and so is divorced, who cares....as long as one expects or wants the other person to not currently be married....then they are single. | |
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| Single vs. Divorced...what should my relationship status be?
Posted: 10/31/2007 10:12:06 PM |
I dont have anything agiasnt a divorced person but divorce people have some bagage and they have to deal with exs so you say single and that is deceiving. so you go to meet a singel person than you find out they are divorced and thier is bagage you lied what do you except them to think.
People who were never married don't have ex's or baggage??
This is just more bias. Hypothetical: A person gets drunk in vegas, gets married and then gets divorced a few weeks later. Another person is with there partner for 10 years and the relationship slowly dissolves and they break up. Who has more "baggage" here? Why is a short marriage considered more serious than a long term relationship? Marriage certainly isn't the "serious" institution it used to be. 60% of them fail. It's all based on a religious practice anyhow so unless you have some religious issue here then there is no issue. | |
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| Single vs. Divorced...what should my relationship status be?
Posted: 10/31/2007 10:18:53 PM |
YOUR DIVORCED, SINGLE MEANS NEVER MARRIED
The dictionary seems to disagree with you. Here's 4 of them if you disagree.
http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/single
http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/single
http://www.yourdictionary.com/single
http://dictionary.cambridge.org/define.asp?key=73854&dict=CALD | |
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| Single vs. Divorced...what should my relationship status be?
Posted: 10/31/2007 11:16:28 PM | | I don't even understand why this is a question. If you've been divorced in your life, you're divorced. Yes, some people may exclude you, but that's not a rationale to hide something. Some people might exclude people who are older than 50 years old, but does that mean a 60 year old is allowed to lie about their age? Besides being wrong in principle, it just isn't practical. People will find out pretty soon if you've been divorced or not, and if someone is simply not looking for that, then you've wasted everyone's time. I know some people think that they will meet them and win them over before they find out these truths, but that's really unrealistic, and the fact that you hid something in the first place puts you at risk of losing more opportunities than just putting the truth, because you'll lose out on the people who would exclude you for dishonesty. For example, while I prefer someone to have never been married, I probably would give someone who's been divorced a chance anyway, but if I find out in chatting with someone that they put single and have been divorced, I'd take that as a red flag and run (whenever it came up). | |
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| Single vs. Divorced...what should my relationship status be?
Posted: 11/1/2007 6:03:54 AM |
I don't even understand why this is a question.
Neither do I. If you aren't currently married, currently in a committed relationship (which is left out a LOT) or have never been married --- you are SINGLE.
Single people that are "half in/half out" of relationships on this forum seem to be MUCH more common (and deceptive & problematic) than those stating they are single, but have been previously married.
I really don't care if someone states they are single, on a profile but say they are divorced at some point later.
If I care about and don't inquire myself, then shame on me.
If they aren't legally married, living with someone or engaged, then they are SINGLE, plain and simple. | |
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| Single vs. Divorced...what should my relationship status be?
Posted: 11/1/2007 7:43:21 AM | | If divorced people have child they have contact with thier exs and by saying your single you have miss lead the other person. now you have to deal with your ex to some extent and you may be in contact verbaly and physical now do you understand why its a lie. black is black and white is white its not black is white. | |
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| Single vs. Divorced...what should my relationship status be?
Posted: 11/1/2007 8:24:53 AM | To be honest does it really make such a huge difference? Far to many people are attaching tags to themselves many of which as is obvious from the replies so far have a negative association. The fact that someone thinks you have baggage because you are divorced is ridiculous. Everyone has a past and therefore the potential for baggage....whether that is from a marriage or not is irrelevant.
Perhaps if there were more people who worried less about what tags meant about people we would all be better off. | |
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| Single vs. Divorced...what should my relationship status be?
Posted: 11/1/2007 3:58:27 PM | Baggage from an ex PERIOD is baggage, and there are some that have kids and were never married, so they miraculously have less baggage than one who was married?
Single means single, divorced may be a qualifier that is true for some single people, but they are still single no matter how many blinders you may have on.
If you've been divorced in your life, you're divorced. That is true, but isn't it also true that you are single? Since we (as a society, but not everyone in that society) are so hung up on labels, wouldn't in some circumstances, more than one label 'fit' a person? I am not denying, nor will I ever deny or withhold the fact that I am divorced. But at this point in time in my life, I am also single. I am both. If I choose to reference myself in writings, posts, conversations, whatever, as single; I AM in fact telling the truth. If anyone decides to take that as I am being dishonest when I do tell them I am divorced, that is their choice and I am not responsible for anyones choices but my own. | |
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| Single vs. Divorced...what should my relationship status be?
Posted: 11/1/2007 6:47:45 PM | Put down whatever you want to. It'll only matter if you do meet someone who believes you're single and assume that's never married then find out about the divorced or deceased spouse.
Not that either would put me off at all, as I've been both. What would put me off is someone being deceptive about it. Marital status is defined fact, of course met a few who didn't "know" how tall or old or what body type they were either. You only get to lie to me once....don't let the door hit you on the way out.  | |
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| Single vs. Divorced...what should my relationship status be?
Posted: 11/2/2007 12:36:08 AM | | CARPE, You never told me what you were BEFORE you got married. Is that the same status as when you got Divorced? Single as before? LOL. If I get married and divorced 10 times, will I be a single woman? The same as a 19 year old, never married single woman? I've heard of "born again" but this gives new meaning to the word! ROOTCAUSE, speaking of meanings...the definition of single.."unmarried" thanks for proving my point. | |
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| Single vs. Divorced...what should my relationship status be?
Posted: 11/2/2007 12:50:29 PM |
Carpe diem just go ahead and play on the words the fact is divorced is divorced and single is single If I am playing with words, why does the dictionary define single as an unmarried person? That isn't playing with words, that is using a word that truly describes my status in a relationship just as much as divorced. | |
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| Single vs. Divorced...what should my relationship status be?
Posted: 11/2/2007 12:57:57 PM | CARPE, You never told me what you were BEFORE you got married. OK, I'll play the game... I was single (as long as I was not in a relationship), just as I am now, not in a relationship AND divorced.
speaking of meanings...the definition of single.."unmarried" thanks for proving my point. And it also proves mine as well. Unmarried does not mean NEVER married, it means the opposite, the converse, of married, which I am. (see below)
unmarried
Main Entry:
un·mar·ried
Function:
adjective
: not married: a: not now or previously married b: being divorced or widowed
http://www.m-w.com/dictionary/unmarried
Since single also means unmarried, and unmarried includes divorced, therefore I am single as well as divorced. | |
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| Single vs. Divorced...what should my relationship status be?
Posted: 11/2/2007 12:58:16 PM | | To each their own, put what you want. If I see "single" I click next. I just assume ... (and yes I am cool with my assumptions, complete with the knowledge that I may be missing out)... that there is a lack of experience with commitment, or denial of a person whom once was very dear. I guess my point is: think about who you would like to attract. | |
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| Single vs. Divorced...what should my relationship status be?
Posted: 11/2/2007 1:57:17 PM |
ROOTCAUSE, speaking of meanings...the definition of single.."unmarried" thanks for proving my point
I'm sorry but it actually proves his and my point, not yours. Unmarried means "not currently married" not "not ever married". | |
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