| Are you strong enough to grow
Posted: 8/27/2009 10:20:10 PM | hmnnnnnnnnn helps me too.....lol
Guess its ...good to be you! :) xo
Since that last wind
blew me
past you
Holding on
I didn't
have a
clue...
I grew
Everythings
new and clear
I let go of
fear of losing
you,
it was true
nothing new
my mind
blew
said
coo...~ :) | |
|
| |
| Strong enough to bleed .....and love
Posted: 8/27/2009 11:47:43 PM |  I know of what you feel, Yes I feel it too.
I weep for you and for me --- for loss of a love once known.
I can't see what is true --- for I've been through it too.
What is the truth? Eternity of what? To death of what?
Death of life or death of truth or death of love?
They are all the same, an eternity in their own form.
They hurt, they suck!
This pain never dies. This love shall never die.
There are times for being on an even keel, and yet other times to BE who you are.
NO mask wanted. For I heartily know what and how you feel. Yes I feel it too.
I am not made out of stone. Life will never be the same. The loss of a lifelong love, a soulmate, a best friend and companion extradonaire don't come along every day.
For I love you my friend. Inside and out.
Your a different man with an angel's heart full of love to share. A singing soul just waiting, -------------------- waiting.
This is what I mourn. My love is not in my life or at my side, to keep me on an even keel, to speak the truth no matter what it is, to say those 3 unspeakable words I shall never hear again.
This is my life's biggest heartache and disappointment. The void in my heart and soul.
If I still do in fact have a heart.
Just be you my friend, my love, my confidant. For that is who and what I love.
Just As You Are. For all eternity.
| |
|
| Strong enough to bleed .....and love
Posted: 8/28/2009 6:05:00 PM | Hola JD
Love so softly whipers
Paints my heart in shades of blush
Summer shaded curtains billow
so undisturbed the hush
that falls upon the bedroom walls
and echos in my memory halls
My heart calls out to you
In summer shades of mystic blue
etheral and tranquil
Like a kiss of decadent wine
a minnuette with innocence
where poetic thoughts entwine
The veil soon is lifted
and so begins this life
the purity of sweetest love
adorned in winter purest white
 I cant wait to see you soon:) | |
|
| Are you strong enough to grow
Posted: 9/10/2009 2:45:37 PM | queenbe ... Many thanks for dropping by and sharing your poems and for your kind words as well. I am honored that my poems help you. Thanks for reading them. And may you be blessed and feel welcomed to drop by again.
hummingbird ... Thanks for dropping by and sharing your words. I hope that you'll feel welcomed back again.
~SpiffyKat~ ... As always, the very best that life has to offer to you and yours.
Ya know, when I was a little kid, I was sexually molested
When I was about six or seven, someone attempted to rape me
When I was twelve, an eighteen year old woman sexually harassed me on a bus filled with kids
If I hadn't had such a very rotten day that day, I probably would have kissed her like she wanted me to ... LOL LOL LOL
I was emotionally, mentally, physically abused
I was made fun of for being poor
I was surrounded by a society that was racist that tried to corrupt me as well
I saw violence and blood shed early
Had threats made against my life from a relative
Talked to like I was less than a dog
The closest things that I had to friends were alcoholics and potheads that later graduated to the hard drugs
I saw dead bodies and stood by my granny's bedside as she passed away
I followed my heart too many times and did things that don't seem to make sense unless you were there living at that moment as I didn't have any plans for the future
I was hospitalized for almost two weeks because of severe chronic depression
And it is there that I learned of what true depression and freedom is
I have done absolutely stupid ridiculous things and took chances that most would crap their clothes doing
I've had someone to pull a gun and a knife on me and threatened to kill me
I made a marine scared when I looked him square in the eyes without blinking and told him that I wasn't afraid of him or his gun
I stormed through the front door of a relative's house because her husband had been there holding a gun to her head and I didn't have any idea whether he was still there or not and really at that moment I didn't particularly care if he would have been for I wasn't afraid to die
I've driven a car in excess of a hundred and fifty miles per hour
Drag-raced my car insurance agent's son
Drag raced someone behind the local mall in the middle of town
Heck I once even raced a Domino's Pizza delivery driver and got caught by an off-duty cop at a Church function and asked him why he stopped me for and not the delivery guy
He looked at me and laughed and said if he wasn't on time the pizza would be free
I've been a total bad ass before in my life
Someone ready to defend those that were family or friends in a split second
I don't know, I guess kinda looking back at things
It was hard to trust people for those that were supposed to be the ones that could be trusted are the ones that hurt me the most
And a lot of the stupid things that I did were because I was running from the pain
Either that or I was protecting those that I cared about from being used and destroyed by the world
Ya know, at one time, I never wanted to be a father
And really after doing some soul searching
A lot of soul searching
There are things that I do kinda wish would have been a little different
But I am really kinda proud of how I turned out and who I am today
I am not a racist and am sickened by those that are regardless of their race
And it has nothing to do with the fact that I have a mixed race background
I am not a victim by those that have wronged me
I don't feel hatred nor do I want to hurt anyone
I am absolutely thrilled and so fortunate to be a dad and have such a great son
And I don't need or want any sympathy for the life that I have known
The only reason that I am sharing any of this is because if there is anyone out there who has been through any of this then they know they are not alone in the world
There are those that truly understand
And for those that have been through what I have known
You are only a victim if you allow yourself to be
You deserve to be treated with respect and dignity
Realize that your life has value and meaning
And it is good to care about others but also it is good to care about yourself as well
Always believe in yourself
Have respect for yourself and others will respect you
And always treat people as you would like to be treated
But most of all never give up when life is hard or things get difficult
I am living proof that there are better days and unexpected turns in life ahead
If you only believe and put yourself in a situation for good things to happen to you
But most importantly ... know that you are not alone
And that others have not only walked your path before
But survived it
And now
My life isn't perfect and I'm not perfect
But I am proud of who I am and am becoming
And I have had an opportunity in life to see the beautiful side of it
And this side not yet seen by those that don't know it yet
It is so worth it
Worth every second spent in the dark
So hang in there and persevere
Life gets better
It really does | |
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| Are you strong enough to grow
Posted: 9/12/2009 7:45:33 PM | The changes in the leaves can be seen
Slowly they are turning to red and yellow
There's a coolness at night that brings morning mist
And the dew is brisk and heavy on the feet
The daylight is less and the crickets more quiet
And the sun not so bright as it was
The morning walkers on the track doesn't seem so many
As I am silently walking along
The song birds have quieted and hidden from view
Only an occasionally squawk can be heard
I love this time of year almost as much as I do thunder
And watching the lightning light up the nighttime sky
Nature sings different songs
And my heart listens with a smile | |
|
| Are you strong enough to grow
Posted: 9/12/2009 8:07:30 PM | ~Missing~
~The ones
left behind , I didn't know
My sistah, brother
who knows what?
Those that didn't make
it, you are with me
Everyday
I think of you
although no one spoke
of you
I had you
in my heart~!
Everyone that
left this life
too early
before they rode
the long road
I think of you
everyday
You are
my day! Everyday
I pray for life
after...like you have
It is all I hope for
everyday...
You show the way
I know
this~!:) | |
|
| Are you strong enough to grow
Posted: 9/14/2009 10:01:33 AM | Thanks for dropping by and sharing your poem hummingbird. I hope you'll feel welcomed back again.
Set the mule stable on fire
Let those furtive fields burn with reckless abandon
Burn those tobacco barns and slides
Burn that outhouse and pack house, as well
Burn all of the trees and make it hot enough to dry up the old creek
Burn the smoke house and the corn crib
Let the house burn to the ground and simmer and smolder in the ashes
Don't dare put it out
Let it burn like the memories that are etched in my mind
Tarnished heroes fall from grace
Harshness in voices no longer are caused by the ruggedness of life
Hands of discipline no longer are hands of care and concern but of cruelty and disdain
Let the earth be scorched by fire and flame
For it is there that satan ran rampant | |
|
| Are you strong enough to grow
Posted: 9/16/2009 3:13:28 PM | JD
Thank you for the kind welcome and sorry it's been a while since I made back.
You have some very inspiring words in this thread from yourself and others.
Thanks again for sharing
May I bring faith
when in despair
Injustice
may I be fair
Injury
I offer repair
Where there is shadow
may I shed light
A mind inspired
burns like fire so bright
May I bring morning
to night
Sight to the blind
and knowledge for minds
I'm changing dark shadows to white
and it's quite a delight
To be turning wrongs into rights. | |
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| Are you strong enough to grow
Posted: 9/18/2009 11:37:18 AM | ShadowriterW~your write reminds me of the peace prayer of St. Francis...loved it and can identify...and hey Just Different...still popping in to enjoy your writes, even if I don't say it..hope this finds you well...(not feeling very strong today myself..hope you don't mind if I express that here...I trust that you won't judge me for it)....the heading "Are you strong enough to grow" seems quite fitting...
It would never go away.
That voice in my mind
telling me
yelling at me..
informing me
that I would have a big ass just like my mother
and I would never find another
man that would love me
for the mess that I had become..
nevermind that I was dumb..
I had become numb.
Granted I had progressed from drug dealing and addiction
I was cursed with this affliction
in my heart..
and I don't even know where to start to tell you
...how afraid I am that I would fail you.
I've come a long way since 'then'
but it's a constant struggle within
Just to ignore that voice and keep moving
and not worry about who was approving
of the life I'd chosen to live
of the time I hadn't chosen to give
to being lost.
You can dress me up in stilettos and put different colors in my hair
Watch me walk into a room and pretend to own it....appearing not to care,
but there's still a young girl in there...
who wakes up some days...fighting for air. | |
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| Are you strong enough to grow
Posted: 9/22/2009 12:36:52 AM | ShadowwW ... You are welcomed for your thanks and thanks to you for dropping by to visit once again and for sharing your words. I did enjoy reading them. I hope that you'll feel welcomed back.
ash.i.am ... Of course I would not judge you by the words that you spoke:) Things my way could be better but I awoke to a brand new day. Once again the sun did shine and an opportunity for redemption, reconciliation, and acceptance did present itself. I do hope that you are in better spirits and that things have been going better for you. Thanks for dropping by and reading the words that I have written. I hope that you'll feel welcomed back again.
Guess I could never tell you exactly the truth
Because I really do care
Not only do you hurt me
But others around you as well
With sharpened edges your words are weapons
So why be upset when someone says what is true
When you speak without regard your angry words
Filled with deception and lies
Through your thin layer of substance the truth is known
Apparently to most but you
Insecurity runs freely amok
Constant attention is what you need and seek
Scorch the earth and ignite with flames
Those that speak with honest souls
Attempting to tear down through your intentional lies
Those that have courage and strength
Gonna cut down to size regardless which lie necessary
Who are you intimidating anyways
Be careful of the lies that you want to spread
Imagine if known the true and real skeletons in your closet | |
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| Are you strong enough to grow
Posted: 10/1/2009 7:16:06 AM | Tenderest eyes of the lightest pale green
Soft and tirelessly caring
Pupils dilated silently sending her love
Smile so warm
As the early morning desert sun
Ever showing
It never seems to fade
Hair brownish/blond or blondish/brown
It is irrelevant
As beyond the shoulders it flows
Soft with body fluttering in the breeze gently rearranging
Sexy is the way the wind tosses it about
Reminiscent of a long night of passion
Voice soft filled with sincerity
Relaxing and easy upon the ears to listen
Angels sing the lyrics
When she looks at me saying I love you
Succumbing to the taste of a honesysuckle's nectar
Again she kisses my pain away
Softly and slowly
Momentarily drowning in eternity
Feeling the urge once more to taste the honeysuckle stem | |
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| Are you strong enough to take a chance
Posted: 10/2/2009 6:30:43 PM | Many times I told you no
But look at where we've grown
Take a look from where we've come
Through your hurt you learned to smile
And through mine a reason to believe
And through the misunderstandings still we stand
Friends always to the end
We are the proof that through unexpectedness new beginnings do begin
And unfortunately even the best of things sometimes must end
You questioned me as a man because I would not give you a kiss
Now it really seems that it's my kiss that you're gonna miss
But I'm glad you understand
And definitely will see
That I'm a one woman kind of man
And that's the way I will always be
On a bench sitting in the park
The sun shining through the limbs
Shadows being cast
But your natural beauty shining through
As the sun accents your face
Skin so delicate and soft
Silken pleasure to my touch
My hands coals of fire
Placed upon your skin
To the surface goosebumps rising
As a touch to your neck brings forth chills
And an impassioned whimper
When I find that certain spot
I know it with my eyes completely closed
Lost for a moment thinking of you
As the breeze gently rustles the leaves
Hand in hand on the park bench
Watching children sliding down the slides
Eyes fixated on yours
Feeling the heat generated by your pale green fire
The way you wink at me
Filling me with desire
Slowly arranging your hair
Removing it form a bun
Observing every movement you make
The exposure of both wrists
And the gentle glaze of moisture upon your skin
Your leg gently touching mine as you turn my way
Head down and eyes looking upward
As your hair is hanging downward slowly blowing
The scene so picturesque
But I'm not ready to be your hero
No, not yet
But the way you are looking is driving me insane
I don't deserved to be loved the way your body screams that you do
But your acceptance of me ... as I am ... is going a long, long way
Maybe one day I will deserve to be looked at ... the way you look at me
But let's be friends and take it from there
I'm not ready to fall in-love right now
Let's take it slowly
One step at a time
Love is something not to rush
But it feels good to be wanted
It feels good indeed
It feels great to be desired
And in a way for you to need
But honestly, let's go slow
I don't fall in love that quick
Time will tell if we can pass the test of time
But what I have seen so far I like the looks of it
And do remember for your own good
Fresh and deep wounds take a long time to heal
And I will not mislead you
The hurt I feel is real
So let's take it slow and see
At how things are ... and things will be
I care and that is a start
But I'm not ready to give to you my heart
Not yet, but maybe one day ... maybe soon
I don't know ... ask the man in the moon
As he is watching from above
Silhouetted figures ... cozy embrace
The sun is settling in
Ready for the night
There's a chill built into the wind
And sparks that are slowly starting to light
A touch upon your nose
A caress upon your cheek
Why do you tremble when I hold you tight
Is it your desire for me making you feel this weak
Stare into my eyes
As I return to you the same
And kiss me as no one is looking
And if they were ... I'd feel no shame
Good night to you, dear one
One more kiss before you leave
Tomorrow will be here before you know
And it is feeling so great to laugh and not to grieve | |
|
| Are you strong enough to be alone
Posted: 10/4/2009 7:17:06 AM | I was talking to my ex brother in law
And he actually made some sense
He said, look man, you've always had a woman with you for the last twenty years or so
Almost always, you had a woman in your car when you were out doing things
Even if you were just friends with them
There has most always been a woman around you
For which mostly that is true
I have always had a lot of women that were acquaintances
I still do
But what he said after that was perhaps the most truest thing of all
He said that maybe sometimes in life a person needs to totally get away from everybody
And just take a while for themselves
And to be by themselves
Maybe I have been kinda secluding myself to begin with
Even before he said that
I believe I have only read I believe two and a partial piece of another Email in the last two weeks or so
I've hung out a few times with a friend that was trying to cheer me up
But I realized that she had motives behind her kindness
And the very extremely last thing that I want or need in my life at this moment
Is love or anything to do with it
I guess it's been kinda difficult to have thought that you meant something to someone
And then to find out that you never really meant much at all to them
And then to have them be so insulting and degrading both
I guess it does hurt in a way
No, there is no guessing to it
It really does hurt a lot
Honestly, I have never known any kind of feeling that I am feeling now
It's such a deep-rooted and constant aching
Maybe even humiliation as you look back
As having shared so many on the intimate secrets of the soul
And then to realize that all the trust that you shown in that person
Doesn't mean anything to them at all
I don't know
I don't know at all
I don't know whether I need time to just be alone
Or whether I just need a real true friend that does not have any ulterior motive
Someone that actually does care about me because they actually do care about me
I don't know for sure
All that I am certain of is that I do not want love or anything like it right now
I guess I kinda would like a friend that really cares
Someone that has a kind, loving, and respectful heart
Someone who is kinda like I am right now
Someone that is not interested in love but still has an open heart that maybe someday
A long ways from now
Maybe some day
Love will be there
I guess I should have known something was wrong inside
When I almost gave in to temptation
But I realized that trying to run from the hurt
Trying to hide from the pain
Is not going to make it go away
It's only going to delay the eventual fact that a person is going to have to face the hurt
And it is true that the only possible way of truly moving forward
Is by dealing with today
So love ... if you are out there some where ... please stay as far away from me as possible
At least for the time being
And should life send me a real, true friend
Perhaps I may be the most happiest that I have ever been | |
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| Are you strong enough to be alone
Posted: 10/4/2009 5:48:17 PM | Time for many things
But still time not for all
Despite all the wisdom we possess
We are still illiterate in so many ways
Only those that know a lot are stupid
Those that are wise know they know very little
Maybe I am unintelligent
But I'm sure not dumb | |
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| And exactly why not
Posted: 10/5/2009 7:03:34 AM | I awoke to a new sun
But back to my old self again
I guess sometimes the hardest thing to do is to face the truth
But it is only then
When the truth is realized
That the truth ... truly exists | |
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| And exactly why not
Posted: 10/5/2009 9:29:26 AM | | ~~~~~~~~~~~ post 880 heartfelt thanks!~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ SS | |
|
| And exactly why not
Posted: 10/5/2009 7:43:18 PM | Favorite words spoken,
"And exactly why not?",
I ask,
You many questions,
Topics blow like the wind,
From my mind.
You sit there dumfounded.
As usual,
Blockhead that you are!
I laugh,
You're too rigid,
Too uptight,
Come out and play with me!
Do you remember any songs?
Can you hear the one I'm singing? | |
|
| And exactly why not
Posted: 11/3/2009 9:41:36 PM | What is the truth
Who are you
Who am I
Starring in the mirror
Wondering what I see
Does the truth
Exist with in me
Behind the mask
Hidden pain
Emotions too deep
To even explain
Traveling through life
At speeds too great
Never taking the time
To experience the pain
Yet pain is all I feel
As I wonder
Who am I
Who are you
What is the truth
~Caly
If you happen to read this JD... I hope all is well with you and yours | |
|
| And exactly why not
Posted: 11/3/2009 10:09:31 PM | tthat was a long one, and hell, rir if sails are sailing
mind s are wandering
outside the regular
hears standing silent
difficut memories
makes sweet songs
sing for our love!
dance on windowsand
ledges a..that is real
is twe true story
It is broken
imagination' her
sin...life is hard
in tje uard
som, is mine! | |
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| Why not..........
Posted: 11/9/2009 2:38:25 PM | ~disregard that last post; I had been up 21 hours and drank too much strawberry wine!:
 
The next day
everythings right ; but me!
I swear I enjoyed every minute
yet today I totally not in it!
Sometimes ya gotta just
howell and yell;
next day ; yanno OH well!
I guess I am a creature of moment
I get it , I just didn't get it that nite.
Next day , I get it well
it seems I never lose the Spell
A Moon appears, and voices slide
I have too many by the fireside.
Life is short and time is long;
so when I can I sing my song!
I often do not act my age;
my hearts my sponge
my brains my fade!
:) hugs J.d .
miss you here!
| |
|
| Why not..........
Posted: 11/10/2009 2:44:05 PM | not sure if I've posted this before.. my apologies if I have.. been a while since here
-
ill tell you the story of who i was
so you would understand who i am
who i was
thought i knew what love is
but love lied
lied and lied
then i cried
cried and cried
til i could no more
so little by little i died
can u bring me back to life?
to lie in the crook of your arms
silently console me
envelop me in your whole being
a blanket of human warmth
if i told you the story of who i was
would you understand who i am?
who i was
tried to love each time
but it lied
lied and lied
then i cried
cried and cried
til i could no more
so little by little i died
im not that girl anymore
if you knew who i was
you'd understand who i am now
i died on a cold hard floor
i died in a lonely room with a hole in the wall
i died at mommy's wake
i died looking at daddy's face
i died screaming at the bible
i died crying in my pillow
i grew into a woman
do you understand who i am now? | |
|
| Why not..........
Posted: 11/10/2009 4:46:38 PM |
i died on a cold hard floor
i died in a lonely room with a hole in the wall
i died at mommy's wake
i died looking at daddy's face
i died screaming at the bible
i died crying in my pillow
i grew into a woman
do you understand who i am now?
Understanding is the most
sublimal message;
yet it does crave
what has been
carved on the table
like a bird;
naked and cured.
It haunts the Soul
like a violent storm.
After all is said and done;
we are all what we brought
on with a whim, a smile
a sin.
It is that we live with.
We go on, become strong.
It is written.
:) hey tigress | |
|
| Why not..........
Posted: 11/13/2009 12:46:01 PM | hiya babes *waves*
Now I made my bed, I lie in it
because that's the way the story goes
that's the way karma unfolds
Sure I keep dreaming of fairy tales
wishing for the same ending that Cinderella has
but real life isn't the pictures
that ain't real gold on the light fixture
and I'll be lucky if that bulb don't burn out anytime soon
  | |
|
| Why not..........
Posted: 11/13/2009 1:15:46 PM |  hiya Tigress.....:)
Your words always seem to fit my mood. We must be tied up in this cwazy world somehow! Or maybe we just both feel the same about certain things. It is uncanny how you always make me wish.....I had written that first! :)
Come back J.D. missin ya around here!
My bulbs have all burnt.
My carpets are dirty and soiled.
The ceilings are dampend ;
by leaky roofs.
I fixed them, yet like life stories
the Stains remain.
I cannont figure if I do not paint;
for fear of forgetting
or fear of remembering.
My little Dog ;
lmao ...the love of my life.
He is ill, and fading.
He gets better with all the attention.
Yet I look in his eyes and know that
he does it for me. He tries so hard, for me.
My paint , it is peeling on the wood on the
outside of this home i live in.
Althought inside, all the love I have lives.
The flowers still bloom every spring and fall
the ones Mama planted here, even some new
I have no idea where the come from...
and I always say "she planted them"
for my silly soul.
Just because she can.
I see things here in this old house;
that no one else sees.
No one wants to buy her.
Too much work to be done.
Too old fashioned.
I remember things here that
could never be seen with the eye
Death, life, joy, sorrow. Pain
Family together, that I dont see anymore!
This place is so very special to me !
To the naked eye, one would walk around
They would say it is worth little.
I know what it's worth is.
It is a home that has survived.
Lifes have lived beautiful moments.
Lost many , survived much.
It is my survivor.
I guess someday I will finally
give up and let her go.
I am a survivor.
I rarely give up , ever!
So many memories here.
It is my potion in this lost lonely life.
I just can't let go right now.
To the average wealthy soul;
it's nothing more than a home.
It has given more memories and life
than anything else I know;
other than my Mother and my Son.
It is my Home!
I am a sentimental Soul;
if anything holds a memorie ;
a moment, it is mine forever.
Maybe I will live here until
I leave this life.
I don't really know that anymore.
My soul lives here.
If a Soul has another place to go...
doesnt it go there?
I guess so!
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