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| only choosing your contacts from miles away. why?
Posted: 10/12/2007 1:33:33 PM | That's the problem with a national site though, isn't it? If the hotties are all miles away, then you're stuffed.
I haven't been particularly inspired by any of my matches recently.... | |
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| only choosing your contacts from miles away. why?
Posted: 10/12/2007 1:35:52 PM | Personally, if I look for interesting fellas, tend to look 25-30 miles away from home. I have had a long distance relationship (hour there), and it can work, but its hard work. I would do it for the right person.
However, I would much rather meet someone that I can pop in for coffee with, or vice versa. I don't have anything to hide, and I wouldn't feel out of control.
I have had messages from guys further afield, and whilst I will message to be polite, I also tell them that I am looking for someone nearer to home, and that I don't think it would work out. I try to be as honest and open about it as I can be. | |
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| only choosing your contacts from miles away. why?
Posted: 11/8/2007 11:15:30 AM | I'm afraid all geordiecolin's points are, by and large, correct.
But to answer the OP's question -
It's got to the point where I don't even mail anyone outside my county (Northants) Not to mention the time wasters nearer to home.
I got mailed by a girl from Liverpool back in June (115 miles away) -"blah blah, why don't you come up to see me?" She said.
"Sorry, you're too far away, but you can visit me anytime you want."
"OK then, I will....."
You can guess the rest. | |
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| only choosing your contacts from miles away. why?
Posted: 11/8/2007 3:47:19 PM |
ive no idea if the same is true for the msgs from men.
I can answer that!
Yes, it's true.
or have i missed something else?
Yes, married, liar!
You can guess the rest.
She wouldn't give you the address? | |
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| only choosing your contacts from miles away. why?
Posted: 11/9/2007 6:40:04 AM | Well OP, I've always professed that distance doesn't matter and have seen some members here on PoF to "eat their humble pie" on this topic as surprise surprise, distance really didn't matter for their happy ending thanks PoF.
And distance didn't matter in my real life either. Faith & trust ... and  kept bond strong that did conquer thousands miles that kept us apart. Yep, there was in my life "Once upon the time..." | |
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| only choosing your contacts from miles away. why?
Posted: 11/9/2007 7:58:38 AM |
3 they know that they dont want a full on relationship,even though they pretend that they do.
Hmmmmmm........ she says..... double Hmmmm......
Nope sorry, can't agree with that likkle bit.
We all get hurt, some more than others, but i don't think its that "they" (whether they be male or female) "Pretend" to want a relationship, it is more to do with the fact theyre not over their last relationship and simply don't know what they want.
They reckon it takes half the length of time a relationship lasted to actually fully recover from it.
You start in grief mode and can only say what you most definately do not want in your life or from a partner, that, in turn, goes on to become what you'd be willing to compromise with, and from there "toe-dipping" with dating to find out whether you're sure.
I agree that some have too high an expectancy of any new relationship
- Imagine this-
you're just out of a relationship and meet someone new, whom you like/fancy/lust after, but straight away you expect it to be the comfy pair of slippers your old (now idealised) relationship was.
Make sense?
when you find that you actually need to work at it instead of being the selfish (not literally) person you've become in your time alone, a long distance relationship can seem "safe"
A laugh and giggle, online can make you feel more "human" again after the depths of despair.
It is in my opinion the first flickerings of the healing process of learning how to interact with the opposite sex after a split. or..... as i call it, a stepping stone back to reality.
Sadly some remain in the toe-dip stage and go on to become serial monogamists, not healthy for either party involved. | |
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| only choosing your contacts from miles away. why?
Posted: 11/9/2007 9:49:39 AM | | I'm interested to know what gives you the impression that women prefer to chat with someone a long way away. Are women actually saying to you 'sorry, you live too close'? Bizarre. My last relationship was with someone who lived 250 miles away. It would have been much better if he had been local, but we don't always have choice in these things. | |
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| only choosing your contacts from miles away. why?
Posted: 11/9/2007 1:04:27 PM | I have a much simpler answer. Try this:
* Do a search with the distance set at 25 miles. Count how many results you get
* Try again with the distance set to 50 miles.
Notice the difference?
If suitable singles are evenly spread out, the 50 mile search should get you 4 times as many results.
If you live in a highly populated area, it might be less than 4. If you live in a rural area, upping your maximum distance may bring you in range of a city and boost the numbers by more than 4.
So, people are just more likely to find an attractive profile away from home - there's so much more choice.
Not as exciting as a conspiracy theory, I must admit  | |
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| only choosing your contacts from miles away. why?
Posted: 11/9/2007 2:55:29 PM | | I chat to the ones that live far away. So if we get it on and it fookes up. There's less chance of bumping into them. Plus he won't discover that I chose the cucumber fields near home, over him. | |
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| only choosing your contacts from miles away. why?
Posted: 3/24/2008 9:11:20 AM |
it seems to me that the most females choose chat to someone who lives some distance from them.if i was able too, im sure the sums would back that up.
ive no idea if the same is true for the msgs from men.
i think it says so much about peoples opinions and thoughts about what they are really after from a dating site.
locally i simply do not get many contacts.
is it becouse of fear of who your going to get in contact with so close to home?
is it becouse they know that they are just after a laugh and stimulation?
or is it becouse they lack confidence about themselves?
or have i missed something else?
Its so that when you dump them you do not have to put up with them stalking you, or seeing them whenever you go out..
Some things/men are just best forgotten.. | |
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| only choosing your contacts from miles away. why?
Posted: 3/24/2008 9:40:44 AM |
No; just most of the decent blokes live 250 miles away !!!
how does that work so if the decent blokes are 250 miles away, the women who live near him cant think he is decent, so the nice ones to them would be 250 miles away as well | |
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| only choosing your contacts from miles away. why?
Posted: 3/24/2008 9:41:19 AM | I agree with what most has been said on here re the barrier of not really getting into a relationship
Another theory is the time that is spent before chatting before actually meeting - thus building up and kind of tension and an ideal. I mean you've spent that much time chatting on MSN so it has to work out as you've got that connection, right? Because you have spoken loads and that persons knows loads about you and really gets where you are coming from.. you've spent that much time talking he/she has to be you 'soul mate'. And then you meet - the reality hits you that they are the same as the people in in your own area and the ideal and image you've built up comes crashing down - or not as the case maybe.
My last chick lived 25 miles aways and it was nice like that. Not too far away and not too close! I wouldn't venture much further than 30 miles away as I hate traffic and driving. | |
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