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| | Why Do People Cheat ?Page 5 of 8 (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8) | I know why people cheat. It's because they eventually start into a sexual relationship. First it starts as F##CK Buddies. Then, the woman just isn't really into you, however, out of convenience, because you hang around, she SETTLES for less than what she thinks she can get, but is too LAZY to break up with you, or be honest, and so the sneaking around behind your back happens. That's one way cheating happens.
Another way is that you are young, your marriage is boring. Everyday life is just working, sleeping, and watching TV on the weekends. You don't really have the sophistication to plan fun events... sometimes they are also expensive.... so she becomes bored. She doesn't have any hobbies. Her main hobby is using the role models she sees on television, and making herself look sexy.... and for what? So, she can run around to find out if she can get more attention than she is getting from you. Lose the remote. Know that relationships take maintenance. She sees more guys at work, and for longer periods of time than she sees you.... so you had better make sure that the time spent together counts for something. | |
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| Why Do People Cheat ?
Posted: 4/18/2008 4:57:04 PM | If you live long enough, and haven't had any trouble, just keep on living. Trouble will find you, and this X of yours will run across people and find someone who displays the same type of behavior that is irresponsible, cowardly, unfaithful, untruthful, lying sack of sh##t, and Whaa, Whaaa, Whaa now I know what it feels like. I am in love and they are cheating. Whaa Whaa, Whhaa Oh, that's right, I did this to my last love, and now I know what it feels like. | |
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| Why Do People Cheat ?
Posted: 4/18/2008 5:23:52 PM | | Because they don't know when they have a good thing. So, they need to lose the good thing, so next time they will find out... oh my God... what have I done!??? Sometimes they go through all sorts of trials and suffering, before another good one comes along.... or sometimes life is punishing, and no one ever comes along as good as the one they let go! Then, I hope they can be happy dying alone. | |
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| Why Do People Cheat ?
Posted: 4/18/2008 6:32:31 PM | I think one party gets too comfortable and lazy in the realtionship and if you can't notice your partner is drifting away then perhaps they are simply not paying attention to the relationship........
We live in an age where we dont have to put up with empty or bad realtionships any more, and I agree lying and cheating is not the answer, leaving first is the better option.
I dont take the act of a partner cheating that personally its their weakness and their guilt trip and not one I choose to go on.
No such thing as a perfect human being or partner but their is such a thing as forgiveness and acceptance...........
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| Why Do People Cheat ?
Posted: 4/19/2008 6:31:54 AM | Why Do People Cheat ? people cheats for a nbr of reasons..
one reason is.. (and i agree with tigerlily) you felt complacent..
and second.. woman are just program that way.. its in their x chromosome..
they're gonna cheat no matter what..
ever heard the old expression "action speaks lounder than words"?
woman are too afraid.. if they tell you.. you cant take it.. and you'll try to talk them out of leaving etc..
so the easiest way is to show you..
one day you come home..
and
"hey honey tada.. its you friend Bob!
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| Why Do People Cheat ?
Posted: 4/19/2008 9:47:27 AM | | wel i was married for 19 yrs hun an my hubby cheated on me , he even bought her over from abrod, dont know if ill ever trust again ,but thats sum people for u i can honestly say i didnt cheat on him ,but thats me like u if u wanna cheat b single not seenin sum one , but dont blame yr self i did at first but it how people r not u . | |
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| Why Do People Cheat ?
Posted: 4/19/2008 9:48:35 AM | | First and formost last poster, its not just the women that cheat. Now, as for the OP...Look, unfortunently, this day and age, monogamy is just a word in the dictionary. I have been cheated on I would say by about 90% of the women I have dated. Its gotten to the point that when it happens, I acually just brush it off and move on. Almost like Ive gotten so use to it, that I expect it now. And thats bad. But, maybe thats what needs to be done...start expecting it. That way if it does, it wont affect you as much. Now I know there are going to be people who read this and start replying with trust issues if u think like that and so on and so forth but the truth of the matter is, ur not going to give someone trust as soon as u start dating them anyway. You cant trust someone u dont know. And if you do give the trust right away and then something bad happens, its nobodys fault but your own for trusting so easily. Point is, it comes with the old saying...You might just have to grin and bear it and move on. | |
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| Why Do People Cheat ?
Posted: 4/19/2008 1:47:34 PM | | I believe that people that cheat look to others to make them feel good about themselves, I believe that most cheaters have low self esteem and I see this as a major character flaw. They need constant reassurance that they are worthy of anothers affection. I can proudly say that I have never, nor would I ever cheat on my significant other. If you are not happy in the relationship you are in, end it before you try to begin a new one!!!!!! | |
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| Why Do People Cheat ?
Posted: 4/19/2008 9:05:46 PM |
I believe that people that cheat look to others to make them feel good about themselves, I believe that most cheaters have low self esteem and I see this as a major character flaw. They need constant reassurance that they are worthy of anothers affection.
I would have to agree with MOST of this quote... the only exception would be that I believe some people just aren't monogamous by nature... they truly don't have it in them to settle down with just one person. HOWEVER.... that does not mean they cannot be honest about this..... there are many people in open relationships... it is the deceit that defines cheating. It is not for me, but if it works for others, go for it.
By and large though, I would agree that those who cheat are those who have low self esteem. They need the constant feed of attention that comes with a new relationship.... they are looking outside of themselves for the love they should be looking for within themselves. I am not saying we cannot get love "externally"... I am saying we have to learn to love ourselves before we can truly love another. Unfortunately, not many people learn that - it makes all the difference when you do though.
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| Why Do People Cheat ?
Posted: 4/19/2008 9:47:32 PM | lol.. i honestly.. didnt and never read the whole post at all..i had some personal venting to do..
cuz subject was too close to home. | |
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| Why Do People Cheat ?
Posted: 4/20/2008 12:42:47 AM | Sitting here thinking that all men cheat-that perhaps it is just their nature and I have been too naive to figure this out. Now that I hear you articulating what I feel, it just doesn't seem reasonable to assume that gender has that much to do with it.
It is just simply a lack of character! These people just don't play fair, it wouldn't matter if it were a business deal, a card game or a relationship-they just want to have things their way. They want to be free to do what they want and keep you at home waiting for them like a puppy.
Like many people my age I have had my heart ripped out and I didn't see it coming. I don't believe that I am a masochist or a poor judge of character, just a normal person who trusts until I have a good reason not to. The important thing is to not tolerate this behaviour once you find out and move on quickly.
Of course, it will have some affect on you, but please don't become bitter-to do so let's the bad guys win.
I have to believe there are still more good people, than bad in the world and that what goes around, comes around-otherwise I would be a very unhappy person. | |
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| Why Do People Cheat ?
Posted: 4/20/2008 12:50:03 AM | | okay that post was in response to hudson hutch-this is my first time doing this and I don't know how to make the last persons response show highlighted in a box.??? | |
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| Why Do People Cheat ?
Posted: 4/20/2008 8:01:49 AM | I cheated on my first wife, and I can tell you exactly why. I had lost my job, felt terrible about myself, and someone came along and made me feel worthwhile, she made me feel attarctive, and it was exciting. My marriage had become stale, my wife was less than supportive as I looked for a new job, and I felt really unattractive being out of work. So it was mostly me trying to make myslef feel better about myself. I never considered what I was ruining, (my marriage), or who I was hurting, (wife, friend and family). We had no kids or property and parted as friends.
But wait...the story does not end there. Jump forward about 26 years, and now I'm 22 years married to my second wife, after living together 2 years before the wedding. I worked my butt of, nights and weekends, trying to earn enough so she would not have to work full time, so she could paint and dance and do the things she loves. And boy did she find something to fill her time! His name is Brian. This time around I think my mistakes were not being there enough, and perhaps not unsing a little "tough love" to get her off the couch and out the door to a job. She seems to have a very negative opinion of herself, says she "loves me but she isn't "in love" with me". I'm devastated, didn't see it coming, thought all of our distance was due to menopause, (as she claimed) and stress, (again, as she claimed.). The I discover an unfamiliar IM screen on our computer, and the whole thing unravelled. She cheated because (a) she had the time, (b) someone else was in the right place at the right time, (c) she felt bad about herself, (d) I neglected the relationship, but worst of all (e) we put our childraising ahead of our marriage in priority. I know most of you will say that raising your children is the most important task in life, and I agree, but with the condition that a couple remember they were a couple before the kids came along, and if all goes right they should be a couple again after the kids are grown. Don't lose track of the fact that your spouse should be the most important person in your life. I had my priorities mixed up, and now at 48, instead of planning a second honeymoon together, we will be spending time with lawyers in a courtroom, dismantling what should have been indestuctable. The pain and remorse is awful. She won't even try to fix what we have, and is throwing me away. I'll live, but at this point it is terribley hard to go on.
Jim in CT | |
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| Why Do People Cheat ?
Posted: 4/20/2008 4:22:38 PM | | If you are not married to the lady, then there is no such thing as cheating. Cheating is only for the fool who is married and got a girl friend. If you believe, and can prove, sue ! | |
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| Why Do People Cheat ?
Posted: 4/20/2008 4:24:12 PM | | It has nothing to do with love. It is all about the sex. | |
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| Why Do People Cheat ?
Posted: 4/20/2008 9:11:46 PM | | It happened to me twice. First my ex-husband and now my special friend. Life happens, the cheaters as you say "worthless". Why in the world would they want to hurt the woman that loves them. It may have stem from abuse in their childhood or some traumatic incident in their life. | |
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Zain.
| | Joined: 9/20/2005
Msg: 117 | |
| Why Do People Cheat ?
Posted: 4/20/2008 9:23:42 PM | 1. They are either bored or unhappy in the current relationship.
2 The sex in the current relationship is poor or non exsistent.
3. Because they have fallen in love with someone else.
4. because they believe they can get away with it and that the other party will never find out.
5. They are trying to be mean spirited or "get back" at the person they are cheating on because they believe they have been wronged.
6. They simply do not care about the consquences of their actions and simply do whatever they want (clearly sociopathic behaviour) These people have no conscience and feel no remorse. if it feels good they do it.
7. because their partner put on alot of weight or something and they are no longer attracted to them.
8. Their partner ignores or neglects them
9. They were seduced/tricked/manipulated into cheating
i could go on there are soooo many reasons why someone would cheat. | |
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Evenor
| | Joined: 10/1/2007
Msg: 118 | |
| Why Do People Cheat ?
Posted: 4/22/2008 11:49:15 PM | | To put it simply, they haven't a clue what love truly is. Often they mistake sexual arousal for all there is to love and go seeking it elsewhere... spending a good portion of time running around putting notches in their belts, both men and women, trying to see how many people they can sleep with wondering all the while they aren't truly satisfied while they are seeking the next sexual encounter... | |
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| Why Do People Cheat ?
Posted: 4/23/2008 12:05:43 AM | | think you nailed that one right on the head .... cheaters are usually in the same class as liar's ... its comes natural.... | |
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| Why Do People Cheat ?
Posted: 4/23/2008 5:50:29 AM | After reading a few of the posts concerning this question, I believe there is a winner....... remember the old poem, " if you love something, set it free.........."?
I have several friends who cheat. IN EVERY case, their husbands are controlling, demanding, and has high expectations. I could go into detail, but I wont. You cant demand your mate be home at a certain time, if she likes to shop 14 hrs, then, that comes with her as a package........ let her do it. Dont complain. Dont expect dinner on the table when YOU get home, take her where SHE likes to vacation, or eat......... not ONLY where you like. Pamper her, especially affectionately, and sexually.......... The more YOU give, the more your mate will give in return. Take the initiative......... start the cycle of love, affection, sex and giving. Be hopeful and dedicated to it, it will come back.
I do however want to say........... I did date a man who was so immature, never being in a relationship at 40, still living with his mother but owning two new 27K cars, it was just his nature (as another post stated) to gawk, drool, chase, cheat. All you can do is give your best 100%, and pray for the reciprocation. | |
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| Why Do People Cheat ?
Posted: 4/24/2008 9:47:45 AM | | @stormiladi: it is hard to tell if your last post was serious or not.. i suspect it was, and it surely made my head spin. Not only were your examples unsubstantiated 3rd-party rumor, but one-sided as well. | |
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| Why Do People Cheat ?
Posted: 4/24/2008 10:19:21 AM | Stormiladi
So you think the man should do all this stuff to keep her happy, Now he is going to be unhappy after bending over to kiss her a++ and than what the hell is she going to do for him. After he has done all this for her he dont have a right to expect dinner when he gets home. | |
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| Why Do People Cheat ?
Posted: 4/24/2008 10:30:18 PM | People cheat because they are selfish and they have internal issues that don't involve you. One thing that you can be sure of is a cheater will try to blame the partner they cheated on so that the person does not have to look in the mirror, but all of us know that this is not true. When this individual looks in the mirror, sure you (the partner ~may be bald, too fat, ugly, too shy ect...... whatever they come up with...) Does that make a person cheat? Gee, if in a relationship you communicate with your partner or leave and if married then divorce.
Nothing justifys having your cake and eating it too. If a married man or woman can't keep their pants on until they file a seperation or divorce, then they are evolutionary
monkeys in heat that need a harness on their pants with a lock and key and should be nuetered like the dogs that they are. | |
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