lsta
| | Joined: 8/15/2008
Msg: 151 | |
| | Why Do People Cheat ?Page 7 of 8 (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8) | | hi am lisa i been cheated on i cant say why they cheat but i figure if they feel they dont get attention enough of it they feel you gone off them .the little things what you do when you 1st get togrther for some reason we stop we take things for granted we dont know we do it we all do it .we stop giving are little tokens of love .i figure as well the sex becomes stale so agin they look else where to get that spark back | |
|
| Why Do People Cheat ?
Posted: 4/2/2009 4:11:09 AM | | For whatever EXCUSE a cheater comes up with ,because they are just excuses because there is no reason to cheat on anyone .for whatever excuse they tell you, will not be reasonable .I choose not to cheat because i respect myself and the woman im with .I choose to not give in to things that are in my control and know are wrong .People cheat because they dont have a conscience,they do not RESPECT themselves or others and have no SELFCONTROL .As far as im concerned if you are a cheater then do us all a favor and stay single ,there is no need to involve innocent bystanders in your carnage of selfdestruction .You would maybe classify them as sociopaths ,they dont care about hurting anybody to get what they want . | |
|
| Why Do People Cheat ?
Posted: 4/2/2009 7:50:33 AM | | Only 5 per cent of affairs actually lead to a lasting relationship. Its not difficult to understand why if they treat others so badly and blame them how on earth are they going to treat one another. | |
|
| Why Do People Cheat ?
Posted: 4/2/2009 6:52:23 PM | People cheat because their needs are not being met. It also appears that you are repeating the same patterns by selecting similar types of partners. In order to move on, it is necessary for you to start your healing journey. What are the underlying lessons that you need to learn from each of these relationships? The answers & the solutions are locked within you, find them & you will begin your healing process. Ignore it & you will be doomed to repeat these lessons over & over in a never ending cycle.
As the quality of your life improves, so does your relationships... Imagine a scale that we're all on, the scale is from 100% & less, if a person is (- 400), they will seek someone who is also a (- 400) & will ignore someone who is a (- 100) or (+50). That's life...
How is the scale determined? As we have traumas & stressors done to us, we deduct -5 to -50 points, example; losing a parent (-25) or losing a job (-30), addictions = alcoholic (-30), smoker (-30), etc.
Justifying your position on POF forums is not the answer either. Do some research, expand your knowlege, start your healing journey & you will fare wisely or at least your lifestyle will improve... You get out of a relationship what you put in... Literally...
**~Remington55~** 
 | |
|
181818
| | Joined: 2/5/2009
Msg: 155 | |
| Why Do People Cheat ?
Posted: 4/2/2009 7:10:35 PM | | This post is 2 years old....I don;t care..it has helped me. My husband is an absolute adulterous ass. | |
|
| Why Do People Cheat ?
Posted: 4/2/2009 7:27:06 PM | Hi DJ,
My ex-husband, is an ex, because he cheated. ONCE. I've tried to figure it out, but I wasn't able to. You know, I just figured people who cheat, aren't worth being with anyway. Non-cheaters deserve better than that, and I figure, if I knew or understood why my ex-husband cheated, I'd be just like him. So, I'm glad I don't understand it. You give someone so much of your life, and they do something like that to you. Don't give them anymore of your life by trying to figure out their actions. Realize they screwed up, and since you didn't cheat, you are the better person. | |
|
| Why Do People Cheat ?
Posted: 4/4/2009 4:39:06 PM | People cheat because they can....
There is a site that allows you to name and shame cheaters.
 | |
|
LBRL
| | Joined: 1/18/2009
Msg: 158 | |
| Why Do People Cheat ?
Posted: 4/4/2009 6:16:53 PM | | because it is now socially acceptable.... unlike in the old days and BTW 1 out of 3 relationships married or not is subject to cheating wheather that be the man or woman. | |
|
| Why Do People Cheat ?
Posted: 4/5/2009 1:46:13 PM | Why do people cheat? Why is irrelevant, some just do, many do. It is the lack of thought of the aftermath of cheating that gives those that do the "green light" to do so. More often than not, they don't believe they will be caught, but cheaters are ALWAYS caught, eventually, and the penalty is always the same, the end of the relationship or marriage. Betrayal is betrayal, it is the feeding of selfish impulses where the cheater is self validating beyond that validation of the truth which is:
You are a part of that person
You are family
WE are WE, not they or them.
Cheating is:
A selfish and careless moment that is but one shot fired in a volley that awaits a cruel and bitter end for the love of each other and the family that will suffer. | |
|
| Why Do People Cheat ?
Posted: 4/5/2009 5:53:42 PM | People cheat for many reasons. Mostly it's because they perceive they aren't getting what they need in their current relationship. - and also for the thrill of not getting caught. -
what ever the reasons are used to justify cheating, there is still NO excuse for it.
and yes, once a cheater always a cheater. | |
|
| Why Do People Cheat ?
Posted: 4/6/2009 4:48:10 PM | | I've never cheated either.. my past boyfriend I just found out was actively lookiing for sex while he was with me.. i'm not ugly and I was good to him, I don't understand it. | |
|
| Why Do People Cheat ?
Posted: 4/7/2009 5:32:03 AM | | I think people cheat because they are bored in their relationship. They may love the person they are with but that person doesn't give them the sexual excitement that they want so they stay with that person but look for the sexual fun else where then again you get those who just can. They want to impress friends or coz that other person is real turn on it takes a great courage, resistance and faithfullness to be able to control yourself on the heat of the moment. Hope all this makes sense!! men cheat because they can, women cheat because they want to. People cheat to satisfied their need to be happy but they never think that cheating hurt others maybe destroy them and break their heart most commonly that man cheat not a woman. People cheat for all kinds of reasons, some do it to get caught, especially if they feel they are being taken for granted or not appreciated, it brings things out in the open and they've proved to themselves that someone want them. Others do it because they can, its an ego thing, makes them feel good. My stance on it is that if you don't want the person you're with then leave them, an affair turns into a proper relationship. The novelty can wear off and you're back where you started but with a different face or that person isn't who you thought they were and you regret getting into that situation. Either way people always get hurt and that kind of hurt takes a long time to heal. believe me. I sincerely hope you never have to go through that pain but like all of us you probably will, if so follow your head not your heart. Be lucky. | |
|
| Why Do People Cheat ?
Posted: 4/8/2009 7:35:21 PM | | EVERY woman desires to really be wanted, during sex the biggest turn on is to turn on the other person and really make them WANT you, the ultimate turn on for woman.!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! | |
|
| Why Do People Cheat ?
Posted: 4/8/2009 8:18:43 PM | i couldn't agree with you more .. it's those that profess to be "christians" that cheat.. and to top it off, feel they have been forgiven ..
i, previously married, never wanted to marry again .. run aross what appeard to be a genuine man, a christian man (never dated one, but respected the basis of thier faith), i thought i could trust him, unconditionally.. well guess what, after him knowing everything i had been through in previous relationships, the fact i didn't want to get married, but dropped my walls and trusted him, a christian man, he cheated! it's been 2 years, and i'm so mad he did this to me.. i can't believe i'm living with someone i really don't trust.. but after failed relationships.. have just given up.. i do love him but don't want to start over again.. i'm so lost some times .. i hate being with someone i really can't trust .. at this age.. at this point in my life .. | |
|
| Why Do People Cheat ?
Posted: 4/13/2009 9:31:52 AM | OK - My take on this very IMPORTANT topic.
I hear so many people discuss this topic with their boring excuses for why they cheat.
#1 Oh, well, just because I live with my girlfriend, doesn't mean I can't still look and sometimes ACT upon my urges.
#2 Well, we are living together, but we are not in an EXCLUSIVE relationship, lets the other person out for whatever and whenever and with whom is irrelevant.
The question was why do people cheat? The why/cause is the RELEVANT question...was the person not feeling loved? Were their needs physically being met but not emotionally?
These are questions you have to consider...
I think people GENERALLY are cowards, when it comes to this question.
They want what they want to feed their selfish desires, when again, as I stated in a previous post, sex is really a main ingredient to what should be a "healthy" relationship.
Most people jump into the sack, without getting to know the person and because the sex is "GREAT" then try to base their relationship around that. Instead of it being the other way around.
I find that people have very little self control when in comes to a "pretty face".
If you are a "Deceiver" you will always be a deceiver.
Once a Deviant always a Deviant.
People cheat because they are looking for a "way out" of their current unhappy situation.
So a person should view a cheat as someone who is NOT happy within themselves and seek counsel for what they are LACKING in their lives that causes them to be so frivolous rather than to disregard the ACT entirely.
I believe through therapy, counsel and to get to the root of the cause as to why they cheat (i.e. they think that cheating with someone they are not married to will solve all their problems) MAKE YOUR PARTNER desirable to what you are seeking in others and YOU WILL NEVER GO WRONG.
People these days throw in the "Towel" all tooo quickly and then pay the "price" for having a "pattern" in behavioral issues that sometimes never cease to become continual.
I.E. definition of a pattern is: doing the same thing....continually.
I.E. definition of insanity is: doing the same thing ..... and expecting a different result.
However, two people have to be willing to find some common ground if their relationship has already digressed to a level where one party is looking to "cheat" on the other...so to speak.
They both have to be willing to "save" the relationship.
People cheat, in my opinion, because they have given up all "hope" on their current partner and that person has become unsatisfying to them .... or unattractive and they are not willing to do the "time" with that person without having sex.
It is sad.
 | |
|
| |
| Why Do People Cheat ?
Posted: 7/2/2012 8:11:30 PM | You have the most sane posting! Thank you Thank you Thank you! Marriage is an ancient rite that was invented, I am sure, by the church and by the government many many moons ago. The church said you are a proper person if you tie the knot with a mate. The government chimed in with benefits for married people.
But humans are not monogamous naturally. I have seen many a wanderlust type finally "settle down" in their golden years, if only for their fear of dying alone. People marry and then they role play, each one trying to dig up whatever their parents' behavior was while growing up to play the part of husband or wife. Ugh!
I'd like to have a really good friend that I can do things with, including rolling in the hay.
But marry? It's not necessary.
Also, listen to Real-Me. Longterm happens after a long time. | |
|
| Why Do People Cheat ?
Posted: 7/2/2012 9:11:39 PM | | Because they think it is always brighter on the other side ....... | |
|
| Why Do People Cheat ?
Posted: 7/3/2012 3:26:43 PM | | People cheat because they are selfish. It will be rationalized a million different ways, but that is what it boils down to. | |
|
| Why Do People Cheat ?
Posted: 7/3/2012 7:14:50 PM | i've only cheated once in my lifetime, on a past relationship.... there is NO justification for it. but here are my "reasons":
within the first 3 months or so of the relationship, after it became "official" my then GF at the time lost her job. then she lost her car (had to pawn it). then she lost her apartment and was evicted. so all this was happening, and i didn't want to be a douche and dump her while she was going through some rough times. i paid for her moving to another apartment. and she lived about an hour away, so of course, i always drove to her. i started to resent her. because if the the roles were reversed, i doubt she would have stayed with me. she even told me that any other man would have just bailed on her, while she was going through that sh!t. anyway, in the last month of our relationship, we saw eachother 2 maybe 3 times..... i just didn't want to put any more energy into the relationship. and i cheated on her with my close friend at the time. a friend i've known for 6 years. my GF at the time did not find out. and i never told her. we broke up over the phone, mutually. and like i said, despite my resentment i had towards my then GF, she DID NOT DESERVE that sh!t. she was a good person, and didn't deserve my cheating.
then me and my friend began dating and became "official"
but then she cheated on me with a married man.
and now, she recently made her profile active on this site. and the first sentence she begins in her paragraph is:
"I am a loyal, honest, person......"
she cheated on me, and on 2 of her past ex-boyfriends. excellent track record.
i had it coming. and i feel sorry for the next sap that dates her. | |
|
| Why Do People Cheat ?
Posted: 7/5/2012 6:34:41 AM | I have been with my ex 9 years, had our fair share of ups and downs, We spilt up for a short period 2 years ago, but our hearts were sad, then we met up again, and knew we should be toghther, made a pact never to hurt each other again, promised!. Tears n all.
Our sex lives is very good, we are very compatible, laugh at the same jokes. love the same food, watch the same movies. Sweet talk each other. Sleep at night perfect toghter, apart, we sont sleep as good. She says she trueely loves me, wants to grow old with me.
One sunday night when she went home after a great week end toghther, Using my lappy to use her facebook and ebay, her account was still logged in. Was going to sign her out and get back into mine, till i noticed a message form a stange guy, reading through the messages, found out she was sleeping with him. Devistated.
Reasons.. she had her own. But i do know this, she lied just to get what she wanted. And did`nt care. These sort of people will be the lonley till they hit the grave, their soul will be empty. And never remembered and cherished.
It takes a good person, to last in time, and time is never any ones friend. Be good to your selves, honestly.
drew x | |
|
| Why Do People Cheat ?
Posted: 7/6/2012 12:58:53 PM | | People cheat because they are selfish loosers who do not mind climbing up the backs of those that care/cared about them to satisfy an emotionally immature want. Cheaters are loosers who will always loose. | |
|
| Why Do People Cheat ?
Posted: 7/6/2012 2:31:06 PM | I never cheated but my bf accused me of it. Here I am flirting and loving on HIM trying to cheer HIM up and make HIM happy and what does he say? That I'm "carrying on" with a male friend of mine. Someone I haven't even seen in the flesh in 6 months! He would text me sometimes (once or twice a month) with the exact same good morning that he posted on facebook. Occasionally he would check in with me to see how I was doing but that was about it. More times than not I would just ignore the text but that still didn't sit well with the bf. I even showed him proof that my friend does not now or will ever want to date me. (I am cool with that!) I was so confused and bewildered at first because the accusation came out of nowhere. But then I got really angry and mad. He left.
Not to mention I had to put up with his ex-wife and his female friends texting him all the time and him having to go over to the ex's house all the time too. I'm not much of the jealous type and most of the time when he went I went too because he wanted me to go with him. I was fine with that unless I just didn't feel like going. He's gone and I'm just fine with that. He had issues. Major issues. I couldn't get him to understand that it was ok for both of us to have friends of the opposite sex. It wasn't like I wasn't honest and up front with him from the beginning. My male friend is my best friend and he got me through a rough time after my divorce and convinced me to go out and date but I could never convince my bf that he should be grateful my friend talked me into going out and dating because HE (my bf) got me and should have been happy.
I haven't dated anyone since he left but I'm keeping an open mind about it. One of the reasons I am on here. | |
|
| Why Do People Cheat ?
Posted: 7/6/2012 2:57:32 PM | | Ok...I know this isn't a popular opinion but here's my two cents....I believe that by nature we are not meant to be monogamous. I believe that we were created to be non-monogamous. I believe monogamy is a choice. I believe you can love someone but be sexually or physically attracted to someone else. If you look at nature, very few species are mongamous. So I guess cheating just is natural. Some people however, are not wired this way, they are like dolphins, or swans or any of those other species that are monogamous. Nothing wrong with that but you need to be with someone who is the same way. Otherwise, it just isn't going to work. I believe if more people embraced this you would see less divorces and strife in the world. Again, I know it's not a popular opinion but I think it's more common that once thought. If you really contemplate it - it really makes sense if you think about it. So I guess the solution would be to talk to the person you are dating or going to marry and see what their philisophy is on this. Then you can gauge where someone stands and whether or not they would "cheat" as you say. | |
|
| Why Do People Cheat ?
Posted: 7/9/2012 9:54:17 AM | So I guess cheating just is natural,
disgree with you above poster not in my system, yes im wired like dolphins lol
my freedom and peace of mind is gold to me, if i give it to someone while in a relationship i would prefer she tells me and give it back to me my philosophy is truth, no other way | |
|
Home
login 
