| Should over 50 people be less selective?
Posted: 3/23/2008 8:20:39 AM | No one's beating my door down right now so that narrows my selection.
Her:Let me in,I'm beautiful and perfect and I just gotta have only you!
Me:No way..I'm selective and I know there will be many others!
Her:But you're so average and plain..I gotta have only you!
Me:That's it...I'm calling the police to report a perfect woman picked me out of millions of people and I know there will be others!
Her:Just give me a chance...I love you.Let me in!
Me:My selection is final!I choose Plenty of Fish forums.Ha! | |
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| Should over 50 people be less selective?
Posted: 3/25/2008 9:19:25 AM | Yes, back to "not settling for less". I have been very interested in reading the comments placed on this thread. This has been a real eye-opener for me as I thought I was the only picky person on this site and beating myself up every day for being like this. Having tried to analyse why I am so, I've many times made a conscious decision to try to be not quite so selective and look at profiles that I normally would not have. I have concluded that, in our youth and having many years ahead of us to choose again, we had not been so fussy and made some wrong choices.
Knowing that the person we finally meet will be the one who we will see out the rest of our years with, we tend to be extremely selective. I am a huge believer in chemistry and if a photo of a person jumps out at me, I will investigate him further. I realise that this may sound very superficial and am probably skipping past many very nice men but that "chemistry" thing keeps getting in the way of common sense. As many of you have said, I'd rather stay alone than settle for second-best and both of us being unhappy in the end.
Those ladies, who have never experienced real, overwhelming passion from a man, still hope to find it before they are too old to enjoy it. In the meantime, we will stay single until that "gem" rides up on his steed and sweeps us away. Yes, we are older but still are entitled to have our fantasies realised. Good luck to all these ladies. Hope you find your knight. | |
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| Should over 50 people be less selective?
Posted: 3/25/2008 9:22:28 AM | lol mick................next time I knock on your door let me in. I told you last time I was lying about my looks. Ask any man on POF , they will tell you all women lie!!!!!!!!!!
Too darn funny!!!!!!!!!! | |
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| Should over 50 people be less selective?
Posted: 3/26/2008 5:13:31 PM | OP: Why should I be less selective?? I'll be 50 in a few months and my standards may rise a little HIGHER when I reach that age. Why?
--Because I'm thin and continue to get e-mails from men that look like they're sportin' a hammock with a baby hippo in it when I clearly state I'm looking for someone that takes exceptional care of themselves. After all, I do.
--Because I'm not a "Yes, Dear" kinda woman. I'm more of a "What the hell are you thinking trying to tell me what to do??? Do you have a death wish, or what??" kinda woman.
--Because I'm not a Nascar, pool shootin', motorcycle, tattoo lovin' woman.
--Because I want to say to my guy "I passed your house on my way to work", not "You're house passed me on my way to work." (Hence, living in a "mobile" dwelling.)
Yes, I am and CAN be more selective when I reach the ripe ole' age of 50 in a few months because I get better with age. Most men just dry up after 50 and look for anyone to sqeeze them to see if any juice is left.
I can't tolerate the horrible musak in a grocery store anymore, much less worrying about whether I need to be more "selective" in attracting a date at my age. pfft!!
Sans | |
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| Should over 50 people be less selective?
Posted: 3/26/2008 9:12:07 PM | | not sure when to jump in..new to these wonderful forums.....what does 50 exactly have to DO with it all???....I have been hit on by men so much younger...and been attracted to both younger and older men...and I am 53. I have a friend in her early forties who gets upset because when we go out, I get the hits. So now Ive lost a 'cruisin' buddy. Thats so sad to me because this is not a competition. Lets use forums to get toknow each other better. Shoot from the heart. If a profile appeals, you are responding to "morse code". You have no idea about the character, REAL AGE, or compatability factor, Lets take some RISKS people. Go for coffee. Written stuff is so often not a gage of who ya get. Some heros cant type. Some amazing people who are stars in other aspects of their lives, are shell-shocked by this venue.I would like to encourage people to not portray themselves as experts, or the last word in relationships. All people are kinda neat, each in their own way. As "Singles Ambassadors" my hope would be that we attempt to be open-minded, and willing. Who knows what happens around the next corner.I remain hopeful, and age is irrelevant.....love you all!!! | |
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| Should over 50 people be less selective?
Posted: 3/26/2008 10:13:37 PM | | Each day that goes by, another of the good ones is snatched up, sometimes literally if she's been doing Kegels. This means the pool grows smaller each day. Your options shrink, sometimes literally, if he's been having problems. By this day next week seven fewer souls will be available as your soul's mate, and that's just from shrinkage and snatching up. Even more folk depart availability for other reasons like the ones who win the lottery and would then have nothing to do with you, or those whose children come back home to live, ruining their hopes of a personal life. A wise oldster will be halving their requirements and redoubling their efforts weekly. | |
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| Should over 50 people be less selective?
Posted: 3/27/2008 6:14:53 AM | | I think we should be MORE selective ...we have lived our lives and know exactly what is and isnt exceptable to us...Now ofcourse that will vary from person to person | |
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| Should over 50 people be less selective?
Posted: 3/27/2008 8:47:19 AM | I guess I see it differently. I think age has made me less judgemental of others. I'm more likely to accept someone's shortcomings now then when I was younger. I always had high standards and I think I've relaxed and come to realize that what really matters is basic values and whether I'm happy with that person and love them.
I wouldn't settle for a drunk or someone who was rude or crude or lazy........I still have standards but I'm more open now to little differences then I was years ago..... | |
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| Should over 50 people be less selective?
Posted: 3/27/2008 12:47:46 PM | Hell no! My opinions and outlooks on life have changed also, as do they for all people who grow as they mature. But just because we might be open to something or someone we might not have years ago doesn't mean we're "settling". Our wants, desires, needs and tolerances change, but as long as we get what we are truly seeking, then we're not settling. I think the fact that our opinions and outlooks change only opens up a whole new world to us.
When I was 25 I wouldn't have dreamed of being with a bald or balding man. That has changed. I'm open and accepting of that now not because I'm "settling" but because I realize that doesn't matter in the overall scheme of things. I know for me, the physical traits aren’t as critical as when I was younger, but I’m a hell of a lot fussier about character traits, sense of humor and a loving and kind spirit in a man. That isn’t settling at all. I’m getting pickier but it's in qualities rather than appearance.
Rose Mary | |
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| Should over 50 people be less selective?
Posted: 3/27/2008 1:41:54 PM |
I’m a hell of a lot fussier about character traits, sense of humor and a loving and kind spirit in a man. That isn’t settling at all. I’m getting pickier but it's in qualities rather than appearance.
I agree.........I think most women are getting pickier in qualities like sense of humor, loving, caring, kind .......... I think most men still go by appearance and don't really appreciate character values. Not all!! I find that as I get to know someone who is kind and nice and caring and fun, he starts to look attractive to me! | |
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| I see this more and more in the forums
Posted: 3/27/2008 2:10:58 PM | I deserve the best or I won't settle for less than I deserve.
This is a FREE online personals site. This is not some expensive one on one match maker service . For those that really feel they do deserve the best, I suggest you seek out this type of service. Otherwise, if you are serious about dating, you are NOT going to meet Mr. Or Miss Perfect on a free online dating site. Nor will you probably meet them via the personals. If you are VERY lucky, you will meet a nice ordinary person who is sane, does not owe their sould to bill collectors, has a decent job, not a freeloader, and someone that actually cares about you. Isn't that what most people really want? The more perfect a person seems, the more flaws you will find.
Lastly, do some real sould searching and ask yourslf in complete honesty what YOU have to offer a prospective partner.
It is way past this belief that we are entitled to the best life has to offer. Most of us would love to own a Rolls Royse but most of us have to settle for something less grand.
So if you ARE serious about becoming part of a couple and not on this board to waste time, then it is time to get real . | |
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| Should over 50 people be less selective?
Posted: 3/28/2008 8:13:22 PM | | As for me, life has made me less selective in a way that yes, I still am selective about some things, but others I am not. No one on this earth is perfect and I have learned that thru the years. When I was younger, I would never even thing of dating someone younger, but with the advise of a good friend, I have opened up myself and not to limit myself, therefore I will date someone younger. And we all have our silly flaws, but really do those even matter? Yes we have our morals, our expectations, things we can live with and things we cannot, but you also have to overlook the little things and focus on the larger picture, things you absolutely can't live with....or accept in life. Yes, I am picky to a point, but realize that no one is perfect, nor am I. I would hope in life that the one that I meet will accept me the way I am, and look at what attracted him to me.......for that's what makes us real. So be silly, be reserved to a point, just be you....is all, but never settle just to settle. Just enjoy life........... | |
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| Should over 50 people be less selective?
Posted: 3/29/2008 1:38:52 PM | Hard choice, but hold fast on the "must haves" and give some on the "wish were". That given at my age more are falling into the "wish were" than the "must have" and still it doesnt seem like there is the qualities that I would like out there.
Guess I should be content with what I am and the life I have lived. | |
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| Should over 50 people be less selective?
Posted: 3/30/2008 12:06:24 AM | | I've gotten more selective! I pay a lot more attention to what will probably work for me and what probably won't. I've gotten more particular about some things and less particular than others. However, it's more important to me to find a good match than to settle for something that doesn't feel right. Maybe I'll change my mind in a few years but I've been unattached for over four years and that's what I think at this point. | |
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| Should over 50 people be less selective?
Posted: 3/30/2008 6:31:17 AM | It's a source of imaginary power over fate. I'm wondering how this works in practice. Is there a menu or a catalog from which to be more or less selective?
Would it be outlandish to suppose that the other party has as much say in whether they are selective? If they, too, are being more selective and they do not select you, and you do not select them, then everyone who is single but looking and selective is too good for others and not good enough for others at the same time.
The anvil of marital strife, the hammer blows of discord, the quenching of divorce, and there is set in molecular structure a hardness of the heart. How did you guys get this old and not grow softer?
I have so much less to offer now and yet somehow I am holding out for so much more. I am so much love to give and my heart is open to you all. My prudent judgment will keep my heart safe from pain and unwise entanglement. I have built myself a nest and no interloper shall muss it. By now my ideal of love is human-proof.
I think people over 50 should have there selective rights stripped away. Partners should be assigned by who seems least likely to get along, so that for once and for all they are forced to find that thing within themselves that must recoil to safety in the face of love. | |
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| Should over 50 people be less selective?
Posted: 3/30/2008 11:31:57 AM |
I have so much less to offer now and yet somehow I am holding out for so much more
Although I'm sure you originally stated this with sarcasm, I find it to be laughingly true.
As we get older and BOTH sexes age (and by age, I mean over 60 or 65 not people in their 50's because in the 50's, things are usually going great), problems develop, abilities are diminished, attraction declines, sickness occurs and yet people seem to expect so much more from their next partner?
It seems to me that I'm seeing a lot of older people in their 60's and 70's find love and settle down and get married but before that, no one seems satisfied with anyone...... | |
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| Should over 50 people be less selective?
Posted: 4/1/2008 10:15:16 AM | Let me start off with a little humor.
(Msg 279) --Because I want to say to my guy "I passed your house on my way to work", not "You're house passed me on my way to work." (Hence, living in a "mobile" dwelling.)
 Now that was funny! I love it!
Anyway, being over 50 I wonder why people require more? At age 25 one requires a mate who will make a responsible parent. One who will provide/care for the family. One who will be there for activities with the family. In other words one whose entire lifestyle is compatible.
At 50, hopefully, one has a life, whatever that may be. When it comes to relationships I do not require the same "type" of woman I did 25 years ago. I have made friends who enjoy the same interests I do so it's not as important to find a partner who does. The necessity for a couple to be similar at 50 is not the same as when they are young so I would say, in many ways, I'm less selective. | |
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