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Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?      Home login  
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 4UMaybe
Joined: 8/3/2007
Msg: 351
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Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?Page 15 of 34    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34)
Hahhah you are funny OP....
 Moonchild51
Joined: 3/11/2007
Msg: 352
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Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 3/6/2008 4:47:29 PM
Come on now girls!
Maybe he is just really, really GOOD, ifn ya know what I am referrring to!!!

Has he ever come back to comment at all????
 Phoebe48
Joined: 12/5/2007
Msg: 353
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Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 3/7/2008 12:57:28 PM

Has he ever come back to comment at all????


NO. Maybe, he was only here for the short term!

Maybe, he is just really, really good but has his limitations, ifn ya know what I am referring to!!!
Desparation to get married comes in many forms. Some wear it like a badge and others play it close to the belt buckle.
 fixitfred
Joined: 11/10/2007
Msg: 354
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Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 3/7/2008 2:19:36 PM
I have ran into quite a few desperate woman they come in many forms. I could probably get married next week if I wanted to. On the other hand I might start a new thread. Why are there so many damaged women over 40. A lot of comments here are an example of that and I'm sure they'll be glad to let me know what they think. It's one thing to say you're not desperate to get married and totally another to say you never want to get married again. That really is sad.
 ankkka
Joined: 8/29/2007
Msg: 355
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Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 3/7/2008 2:32:51 PM
I would like to say differently...they don't care if they are married or not.
 fixitfred
Joined: 11/10/2007
Msg: 356
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Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 3/7/2008 2:53:02 PM
I thought I had my first bite. Read in detail profiles and what they say here. Many say they will never marry. I would like to think that some of them will not be so damaged as to drive off a decent guy that they will get the chance to meet a man who might be able to change their mind. A man they cannot live without. Gloria Stinum, the original damaged woman, got married but she is still damaged.
 northernmiss2007
Joined: 1/25/2008
Msg: 357
Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 3/7/2008 3:02:14 PM

On the other hand I might start a new thread. Why are there so many damaged women over 40. A lot of comments here are an example of that and I'm sure they'll be glad to let me know what they think.


...Go ahead, and right underneath yours I'll start one asking the same question of the men. Works both ways.
 Moonchild51
Joined: 3/11/2007
Msg: 358
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Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 3/7/2008 3:14:17 PM
^^^ Way to go Miss!
It most certainly does go both ways! The question the OP asked was regarding women. And the exact same thread could be posted regarding men with pretty much the same results.
I have no real desire to marry again. Matter o fact, really do not think I will the rate things are going. To say never? Well, let us just say it isn't in the cards in my forseeable future!
 PoeticBliss
Joined: 6/6/2007
Msg: 359
Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 3/7/2008 3:54:43 PM
Well it depends upon the woman, her experiences and her needs at the time you met them but here are some valid reasons why SOME women over 40 are in a hurry to marry:

They're biological clock is ticking. They never had a chance for children/family and want to start ASAP.

They are getting older and are finding that the mating pool has become smaller and there are less options as a woman ages. Men tend to want younger women.

Theyre pissed off because they are from a different generation- or certainly caught in the generational gap- where marriage is still a valued goal. They are likely sensing (real or imagined) that you want a free ride ticket with no committment at all. Its hard for some women to accept that -- they dont want to live alone and this generation is incredibly dysfunctional. So you are getting some projection issues and baggage on top of that stresses a woman over 40 feels when trying to find a partner.

Sure its ok to feel like you want to take your time dating and you dont want to feel pushed or rushed-- but at the same time maybe your giving off a vibe that spells "I dont want a committment" and they go for the marriage chat to see where you really are and are pissed off becuase they figure theyve just wasted their time YET AGAIN.

Try to feel some empathy for women if you can.
 Sweet_Caress
Joined: 12/9/2007
Msg: 360
Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 3/8/2008 7:04:39 AM
I agree, i can't understand why any woman would want to marry you with your criteria. Ie don't look like you just rolled out of bed. I thought the messed up hair, come to bed look was always in vogue. Although you are a fairly average looking guy i fail to see any warmth or personality in your wording. Just a lot of rules. I would think women over 40 would be more choosy NOT desperate to get married as most will have a roof over their own heads and some level of security. Needy and desperate women are usually sad and lonely and low on self esteem. Marriage is going to make things worse for them. So i think you did them a favour by not asking.
 kris1946
Joined: 2/4/2008
Msg: 361
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Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 3/8/2008 8:29:52 AM
Some motherly advice. I looked at your profile and you are easy on the eyes. By now you know to be very careful about who you pick. You can afford to be picky. You have some great qualities there my friend.
My son is about your age and single. The women he has dated have done the same thing. If they are 'in love' with you by the 4th date or sooner, RUN RUN RUN away, as fast as you can. If they think they have to spend all their time with you or talking to you, refer to the above.
In order to have a healthy relationship, you must find a healthy partner. Someone who has her own interests and hobbies, outside of the things you two do together. You must have things you do with your friends, she must have things she does separately from you. And you must have things you do together. Otherwise the relationship is doomed from the git go. If the woman is needy, refer to the above RUN reference. If she is insecure and needs reassurance all the time, refer to the above. If she is a 'victem', refer to the above.
It is NOT healthy to have to be with someone 24/7 or ringing them up five or six times an hour [even if your a freakin truck driver and your lonely in that cab - you chose that career - don't call me at work every hour -I have work ethics]
Thats something else, the woman must have ethics. Just cause she's tiny and beautiful doesn't give her the free ticket to be disrespectful to other people and property. Had a friend once who was like that. And she got away with it.....but I shyed away from her.
Make sure the woman is a good Christian and follows her Christianity. Not all women want to jump to the alter after the 3rd date. And my final tip is this, tell the women on the 2nd date ~ or maybe even the first and second ~ which could scare some away but that might not be a bad thing -say it straight up - if your looking for marriage, I'm not your guy. I need to know my woman, become friends with her and then possibly after 2 years or so, we can become engaged.
Here's the bottom line - you might not want to wait that long- but as long as your in a monogamous relationship, your there for each other. Your not alone, you have someone to do things with, go places with, have fun with and moving in together or having a piece of paper isn't the glue to your relationship. If you have someone who is willing to do that and wait, then hold on to her. If its worth having its worth waiting for and wouldn't you really like to know its going to be forever before you take that giant step again. And WHATS YOUR HURRY girls?! Dang! Even if the world ends tomorrow, its not him you have to impress, its HIM. Oh and PS, I know for a fact that there are still women out there who do this to trap the man, my EX daughter in law did it ~ tell them BEFORE you have sex with them, that if they get knocked up, you are history. That your not going to get pushed into marriage from a pregnancy, that you want to spend time with them, with your freedom in tact, to be able to go places and see things without having to worry about a baby or babysitter......looooong before a new little one comes into this world...if its in your plans to have more. My son doesn't want anymore but he has custody of a ten year old.
I hope this advice helps you. Not all women over 40 want to rush into marrige. I signed up for this sight only because a friend told me I should and I have yet to even meet anyone for coffee. I've been married a couple times and decided over 25 years ago that something was wrong in denmark and I have shied away from marriage ever since. So I'm saving the best for last and I am certainly in no hurry. I'm over 60, have been engaged three times since my last divorce and have ultimately decided that they are NOT the one I want to spend eternity with. I really REALLY have to like someone and they have to make me laugh and work beside me. For me, that means, respectful, honest, good hygene, love cats and all other animals, kids, family, church, and God, and willing to give me my much needed space. Thats why the last time I went for a truck driver. Thought I'd get my space. Holy cow was I wrong. My first ex husband calls his wife once a day. He's on the road two weeks to two months at a time. I told him if he'd been a truck driver when we were married, we'd still be married. His skirt chasing is what caused our break up. Anyway, thats it from here. Just be more cautious and heck, date two or three at a time. Be a bachelor. Pick and choose. You can afford to. Kris
 *Sanschele*
Joined: 1/31/2008
Msg: 362
Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 3/8/2008 2:13:11 PM
Sorry OP , I missed that memo.

I'm too busy collecting 100 cats..and LIKIN' it!!

Seriously, OP..I'll be 50 in a few months and my life as a single woman is fantastic.

-I live on an island.
-I wear flip-flops year round or no shoes at all.
-I have 4 cats, an Egret and two to four feral cats to take care of.
-I'm financially stable.
-I know EVERYTHING about the water, tide tables, currents and how to take care of myself and my pets when a hurricane hits. (And the Coast Guard will call me out if they need back-up in bad weather..I just got that information today from my Flotilla Commander. now, how cool is that???)

I'm far from "desperate" to get married. Pfft!!

I take care of myself, my animals, my family and my true friends with a vengeance and I don't have to be married to anyone in order to accomplish that.

Sans


Sans
 fixitfred
Joined: 11/10/2007
Msg: 363
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Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 3/8/2008 4:19:47 PM
Just goes to prove that No man is an island but some women live on them.
 *Sanschele*
Joined: 1/31/2008
Msg: 364
Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 3/8/2008 4:25:06 PM
^^^^and proud of of it, dude. I made good choices, did you?

Thought not..you still live in Roanoke. I live in Florida. Alrighty, then.

So how is the weather up there in ole' Roanoke,VA? Cold? Where did you go to school, dude? UVA or VA tech in Blacksburg? I grew up in Roanoke, VA. lol

Yes..my mother is chased daily in Roanoke for being the "witch" that delivered the "devil child"..hehe

72 down here in Florida and climbing in fahrenheit.

And had I "gotten married again", I could never live the lifestyle I live now and it is so very, very good.

Sans
 Smilycynn
Joined: 11/28/2006
Msg: 365
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Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 3/8/2008 4:37:08 PM
Well I for one am not looking for marriage. In fact I am running from marriage. Sad to say I have been married and divorced three times and my whole outlook on marriage has drastically changed. I'm just looking for someone who wants to be with me and accepts me for who I am and take it one day at a time. Anyone out there like that?
 phenomenall88dy
Joined: 12/20/2007
Msg: 366
Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 3/8/2008 10:05:35 PM
I have a feeling that you have been soundly spanked by not only the ladies but the gentlemen on this topic. Most mature ladies are looking for a secure man to spend quality time with. A man that can tickle their intelligence and their funny bone, but not their marriage bone. Statistics are that most women who don't remarry by the age of 35 will not because they are just so damn independent. However there are a few left out there .
 drumsafrican
Joined: 5/6/2006
Msg: 367
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Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 3/9/2008 5:13:33 AM
Just because you had one negative relationship does not mean that all men are like that! Remember you had a role in agreeing to those relationship terms, too.
Judith
 UrbanTO
Joined: 4/1/2007
Msg: 368
Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 3/9/2008 6:51:51 AM
fixitfred


I have ran into quite a few desperate woman they come in many forms. I could probably get married next week if I wanted to. On the other hand I might start a new thread. Why are there so many damaged women over 40. A lot of comments here are an example of that and I'm sure they'll be glad to let me know what they think. It's one thing to say you're not desperate to get married and totally another to say you never want to get married again. That really is sad.


Why is it sad? What really is the definition of marriage? Commitment? Will a ring and a piece of paper will make it any different than a loving, stable, respectful relationship would? I think when you're been put through the ringer, as a lot of MEN as well have been and they COULD be viewed as "damaged" you might think that way. I think it's reacting more than anything.

In my experience, I've encountered more "wanting to settle almost immediately" type of guys. And I could also get married next week if I wanted to. They were willing to go to the 3rd or 4th stage of the relationship almost immediately. Hang on I said... how about we learn about one another first? Response I got? "we're too old for that" I kid you not.

We all have our own experiences, it's not only women who can be like that, but men as well.
 kirsten214
Joined: 7/10/2007
Msg: 369
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Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 3/9/2008 8:05:55 PM
Do you know about women after four dates? Does the fact that you've only dated four women over forty tell you anything? Did you phrase your thread well? Inquiring minds want to know - actually, mine is not one of them . . . what you got were not "women over 40" but rather "needy, emotional women lacking self-control" (you might also practice your end of the conversation game, to make certain that you aren't sending mixed signals) . . .
 Lovessstodance
Joined: 8/1/2006
Msg: 370
Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 3/9/2008 11:10:49 PM
Agree wholeheartedly. It depends on the person and the chemistry.
Life is good, I am in no hurry to get hitched. Sometimes we get desperate when we are in our twenties ,thirties and allow others to cross our boundaries and we choose to ignore the red flags. As I've gotten wiser and older my perspectives have changed. I am not cycnical, still hoping someone will excite me and it will be mutual. But I also have standards and wont just settle so I can be with someone...
Sometimes it would be nice to trust someone enough that they could help with decisions and companionship is wonderful. However, marriage, no not in a hurry.
 serolo77
Joined: 3/7/2008
Msg: 371
Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 3/10/2008 7:35:44 PM
You should have stopped your post at, .......I know I cant paint all women with this brush....and stopped talking right there.
 Pixy Dust
Joined: 9/6/2006
Msg: 372
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Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 3/10/2008 8:18:23 PM
Maybe just maybe he ran off and got married....
 MarriageMinded55
Joined: 1/27/2006
Msg: 373
Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 3/11/2008 11:12:38 AM
I think that the OP was not complaining but was bragging in a way which looked like he was complaining to get attention (but was trying to impress by saying "look at me. So many women want to marry me right away, I must be a catch/a stud/very good looking/charismatic etc)...................Very juvenile, shows low confidence and high insecurity, best to ignore such people when they try to use you to boost their superficial type ego.

Sorry I revived this thread but I had taken that joker seriously.
 psunit
Joined: 10/6/2007
Msg: 374
Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 3/12/2008 7:34:30 PM
Wait a minute...I'm not...what's wrong with that?
 GrandmaBooBoo
Joined: 12/30/2006
Msg: 375
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Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 3/12/2008 8:40:20 PM

I thought I had my first bite. Read in detail profiles and what they say here. Many say they will never marry. I would like to think that some of them will not be so damaged as to drive off a decent guy that they will get the chance to meet a man who might be able to change their mind. A man they cannot live without. Gloria Stinum, the original damaged woman, got married but she is still damaged.
SAY WHAT????

I have no clue where you're getting your information, but a woman who does NOT want to marry is not catagorically "damaged". MY reasons for not wanting to marry are completely based on logic. It's no different than when I decided that I really don't need to go ice skating anymore! There's no advantage in it, and a whole lot of hassles for it. I absolutely adore men....I simply don't want the chore of raising another one. I'm sure many sane and reasonable men out there feel exactly the same way. They don't need my paycheck to pay the bills, they don't need a cook or a housekeeper, or a secretary...they don't need me to fix the toilet, or repair the roof, or do their laundry or shop for groceries. I have no earthly purpose (nor does a man) other than offering companionship and sex. Does that make HIM "damaged"??? I think NOT. Why think up a bunch of silly reasons for doing something really stupid just because SOME people think you have to want what THEY want or you're weird (damaged).
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