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| Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 10/16/2007 10:32:41 AM | NO NO NO NO NO NO NO ! NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER Ever Again
Are YOU insane ? I was blind-sided but both my ex hubbies into thinking we should do that marriage thing. I NEVER saw the POINT. And was lucky to get out of both unions ALIVE and not compleatly NUTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OR drinking to forget Marriage has to be one of those old ideas MEN dreamed up along with Bras and High Heeled Shoes. | |
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| Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 10/16/2007 10:33:21 AM | Considering I'm soon to be 49 and haven't been married yet, I don't believe I fall into the 'desperate to be married' bin, or I'd have done it already by now ;)
Since the common denominator in the 4 relationships was you, perhaps you should look a bit closer at what your words and/or actions might be saying or not saying to these women. If you broke things off after a short period because these women felt marriage was the next step, start looking at what may have caused them to think this...Most people don't just think about getting married and not think about *who* they want that person to be...only the desperate ones would marry just anyone, IMO. And most women in their 40s, either married previously or still single, know exactly how great being single is so they're not desperate to change that with marriage. So, look at yourself and see what signals you may be sending them. | |
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| Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 10/16/2007 11:32:24 AM | Addicted 2 Chaos, it's simple, just don't date desperate women.
Most of us over 40 gals who've been married, have grown kids and our own lives are not desperate to get married.
Been there done that!
Brandie46 | |
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| Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 10/16/2007 11:34:30 AM | From OP's profile:
I have accepted a job opportunity to go to Europe and work in London, UK and should be moving around the first of the year. This doesn't mean I am not interested in a relationship. It does mean that I don't want my move to equal a nasty breakup and leave hurt people in its wake. I am going to be an empty- nester whenever my kid decides to go to college.
She thinks: "Hmmm. If I play my cards right the grand prize is I get to live in London with Prince Charming here! Quick! Try on the glass slipper!"
He thinks: "Well, she's on notice, I'm leaving at the end of the year. If she's still here she's just as interested in a phuck-buddy for the next few months as I am. Good deal!"
Sounds like a recipe for "Chaos" to me... | |
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| Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 10/16/2007 12:11:36 PM | Anyone looking for chaos, and then complained when they find it????
Hey, I just blame the whole thing on the women I have dated wanting to get married.
Maybe the thread should have been "Why are people over 40 so deperate to date people in chaos?" | |
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| Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 10/16/2007 3:56:27 PM | Wow, I touched a nerve with this post! Nonetheless, thank you for replying!
Within 5 minutes someone voted that it be deleted due to repetition. I performed a search and found only one other post with these words in the title…hmmm.
Then, the post got moved from Relationships to “Over 45”. Did I say “women over 45”? No, but thanks to the Moderator who moved it.
Then, I read all the huffy responses and denial in the answers to my post. Funny.
So, apparently I didn’t add enough details. I wasn’t aware that I was supposed to quote entire conversations that were held with each lady. I stated that I was clear about my intentions, is this not enough?
Next, not a single lady mentioned was from POF, so don’t take things so personally! Geez, it’s like this was a personal affront to each of you, even though I opened the post with “I know I can’t paint all women with this brush…” Let me guess, I wasn’t clear enough, right? Evidently my profile is very fuzzy also, since some of you decided that my wording and intentions is unclear. Good grief! Do I have to draw a picture and color it for you?
One person thinks my pics aren’t current.
Another claimed I couldn’t admit that I wanted no strings sex (thanks for reading my mind and getting it wrong).
Two people decided it was due to my screen name. I didn’t know that choosing a profile name meant that it had to be my exact identity day in and day out, but I will remember that policy when choosing the next one.
Another lady thought it was because I chose needy, chaotic women. Okay, you be the judge- the first one is a homeowner, has a career with a mid-level salary, gets promoted occasionally, and has been divorced 6 yrs. The 2nd lady is also a homeowner and career woman, divorced, no children at home, runs her company’s sales dept. for the entire East Coast- needy? Chaotic?
One lady thinks I base my claims on dating merely 2 women. It was 4, but thanks. I didn’t know I was inexperienced in the dating field. I better spool up here!
Most people thought I was leading these women on (it just CANT be the woman’s fault, now, can it?)
One lady thinks I am controlling and misleading by having “dating” in my profile. I may be mistaken, but I thought dating was somewhat different than marriage or LTR…why do you want me to re- write my profile carolanne60? I didn’t allege that their biological clock was ticking, I merely stated that it wouldn’t wash as an explanation.
Still another lady thinks you scared me off because I didn’t return in the middle of the day. I have this thing I try to stay focused at during the day- some of you may have heard it called WORK !
Moriama, maybe if you tried working instead of finding your validation in watching Oprah and Dr. Phil, your life would go a little better and there would be less bitterness?
Only a tiny minority took the time to read the posting and reply in full with their opinions in a clear manner.
I am not expecting a bunch of butt kissing, but the anger and denial is very evident and amusing.
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MzFish
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Joined: 9/27/2007
Msg: 60 | |
| Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 10/16/2007 4:08:11 PM | | At 45 Ive been married,not in any kind of rush to get married again,as a matter of fact I'm not even sure I'd want to.I'm sure the women you dated had their reasons for wanting to go there although 2 & 4 months is just way too soon to even be thinking that but to each his own I guess. | |
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| Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 10/16/2007 4:20:37 PM | OP...just a thought...maybe you should have chosen the words for the title of your thread a little more carefully then....huh?
I'm sure that the two women you speak of wouldn't appreciate the "broad brush" you seem to have painted THEM with. | |
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| Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 10/16/2007 6:49:49 PM | There is an old saw regarding picking out the sucker in a poker game.
Basically, if you can not spot the dope after 30 minutes of play, odds are, it is you.
OP, you went through the list of responses to your original question and categorized them all.
Did you notice one type of response that was missing ? What might that tell you ?
By the way, how’s you poker game?  | |
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| Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 10/16/2007 8:04:40 PM | | Op it's not that two women over 40 wanted to marry you in 2 or 4 months, it's that they found out you had no interest in marriage ever. So they moved on, big deal. That hardly makes them desperate. Both will probably be married within the next two years, nothing wrong with that. They just don't want what you want.The title of your thread "Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married? I just don't see it. | |
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| Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 10/16/2007 8:39:10 PM | One lady thinks I base my claims on dating merely 2 women. It was 4, but thanks. I didn’t know I was inexperienced in the dating field.
I didn’t count the two that failed because of lack of chemistry; but even if I did, they still didn’t want to marry you, correct? Either way, I still say that you have dated a whopping total of four women, and this is not an accurate representation from which to draw the conclusion that a shit load of women over 40 are in a huff to march down the aisle to matrimony. It’s like those four out of five dentists surveyed who recommend that patients who chew gum, chew Trident. If you only ask five dentists, it means 80% of those measly five dentists who were asked, not the majority of all dentists. I did not infer that you lack experience in dating; I was merely stating that you can’t assume most women who are over 40 want to get married from such a small sampling of women (so, get out there and date a million of ‘em in the name of research!  )
I need to get married in the morning
Hells Bells, ‘cause I am past me prime
Let’s cut the talkin’
My withered legs look like wrinkled stockin’s
Get me to the church, I’d even marry Lurch
Get me to the church on time!
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| Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 10/16/2007 9:18:50 PM | The absolute truth is when I read the Original Post... the very first thing which came to mind is:
Sheeeet happens.
Simple as that. Not desperation. Not due to your username. Not due to their age. None of that came to my mind. Just the two words mentioned above. And, I'm not being sarcastic.
Put another way. Life happens and it takes all types. We will cross paths with many different souls in our travels and each one will have their own set of goals/aspirations/etc.
We either share their basis or not. If so, continue on. If not, move on.
Oh...btw..the reason the thread was moved, my guess, is that it contained a specific age in the title and the 'Over 45' Forum fits it best. But, I'm not a mod...that's just my logic speaking | |
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| Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 10/16/2007 10:08:30 PM |
Who says?! My experience tells me it is men who act that way!
Hmmm. I wonder why your experience isn't with women? lmao.
Back on topic, I suspect it is the sampling size. For any given behavior and a small enough sample you can come to any given conclusion. | |
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| Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 10/16/2007 10:35:43 PM | ...I have had this picture in my head for 11 years what I want my wedding day to look like..... and on that special day I will wear the wedding dress I have dreamn't about.... long sleeved white satin with tiny buttons running down each sleeve, long straight lines, the cut is very simple yet classic. Small string of pearls at the neck, no veil.... hair up, very Audry Hepburn. White satin strappy shoes, fastened at the ankle. To complete the look I want to carry only a few long stemmed lillies fastened with a long white satin ribbon....This will be my day....I want no brides maids, too distracting, I believe I should be at the centre of attention, after all ...this is my very special day.
Now just got to reel in Mr Right haha
...maeflowers | |
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| Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 10/17/2007 4:30:15 AM | I will never ever marry again......why bother at this point?
I want to live in love and lust, with separate bank accts, no mis-perceptions and ride off into the sunset with my best buddy singing " We're NOT gonna sit it out......we're dancin'!" | |
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| Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 10/17/2007 5:17:46 AM | Maybe the root of the problem is anuptaphobia. (fear of staying single)
Not just women, but men as well, can be averse to singlehood. Some folks simply like being married much better than being single.
Why not accept that there are people of both sexes, who strongly prefer either marriage or single life?
If you and your partner are on opposite sides of this divide, then find someone who shares your outlook. | |
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| Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 10/17/2007 5:58:59 AM | | so , you want to get married . do ya ? well think of this . the money you work sooo hard for can be gone . it's better to live with them . no lawyer if you break up . no courts involved . I thauhgt woman wanted to be loved and safe . | |
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| Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 10/17/2007 6:20:43 AM | OP you asked us to help you to understand why are women over 40 so deperate to get married? Poster tried to explain what they thought of the situation.
Insulting folks when you don't think the answers that they give will not help you to understand. Listening to the fact that most of us aren't desperate to marry or even want to.
Maybe you got it wrong the women over 40 are desperate to get married just like you got it wrong when you decide that being online during the day but not in the evening means that that person watches tv all day. I for one use the pof forum for a break from my work from time to time during the day.
I have to agree that stuff happens in life. We meet desperate people, independant people, and those in between. If we are in a certain mood we may only notice the desperate people.
I know that I look for signs of desperation before I agree to date, and if I see any their won't be a date. I find that desperate folks don't seem to be able to hide their desperation very help.
ps OP don't take this personally. I am giving my opinion of the thread. The thread contains your user name. It is out there where it was put for people to react to. | |
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