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Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?      Home login  
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 BobbyMgee
Joined: 9/17/2007
Msg: 76
Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?Page 4 of 34    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34)

when a women wants a little sausage why buy the pig that comes along with it.

angelicblondie^^^^^^^^^^^^^
never heard that,thanks for the laugh........
 Girlflower
Joined: 3/12/2007
Msg: 77
Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 10/17/2007 4:26:19 PM
thanks bobbie magee for the chuckle!

I guess I've been desperate since 1988.. at I was only 38 then... you must be one of those that believe that cleaning the bathroom is not just womens work!!!!

Have to say that all my compatibles are 10 years older than me!!! That makes then 68... yikes that's almost 70!!! What the heck am I going to do with a 70 year old man... change his depends???? Not Desperate here!!!

Now if a cute 50 year old EYetalian wants to know boots for a while I might be game!!!

Going Bananas in Dating Land.. Girlflower
 chelsea_hou
Joined: 5/26/2007
Msg: 78
Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 10/17/2007 4:37:58 PM
"Despite my clarity on my short term future, I was blind-sided with this assumption, and then when I called a time- out, I was amazed at the nastiness and resentment."

You clarified and they dumped you, it really is that simple. Did it go something like this. I'm never getting married again and besides I'm moving to Europe soon. So she say's thats fine we can be FRIENDS but I want to contiue to date, I am looking for long term with possible marriage. So now she is nasty and resentful just because she didn't want to play it your way. These women are not deperate, YOU are to find something that just doesn't exist for you. Why would any woman want short term with you? What am I missing?
 cincydeb
Joined: 6/4/2007
Msg: 79
Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 10/17/2007 4:43:23 PM
Must have been the women you chose. After a very long marriage, I'm looking forward to being single and finding myself.
 2008am
Joined: 8/22/2007
Msg: 80
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Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 10/17/2007 5:31:42 PM
Hi Addicted,
Thank you for the statement that not all women are desperate to get married. You have to remember women are wired differently... especially over 40. We are emotional beings in need of love which equates to marriage the longer you date. Sorry, mostly it is true. Be up front and let them know you like them but you are not looking at this time for a serious relationship. Keep it on the up and up. The second, biology is playing with our bodies "menopause" and mood swings are all over the place. Along with adjusting to the changes and emotions run wild.
There, I explained it. Good Luck!
 mikkisue
Joined: 11/25/2006
Msg: 81
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Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 10/17/2007 6:07:04 PM

But it took 20 years to "Find Me" and I have to admit that I am afraid that I might loose that if I said "I Do" again....

When I was with the Ex, he became my "whole" reason for living. I forgot where he ended and I started. I can't do that again, and I've grown up since then, but there are times that I still worry about falling too hard and forgetting about "What I Need".
[unquote]

Wow, did you hit the nail on the head with that remark!

I tried to put him first so long and did it so well that eventually he took it for granted, I forgot what I wanted, and he didn't care.

As for the OP, I'm over 40, been divorced 7 years and I'm not in any hurry to get married. I have met some women who seem to be looking to snag "someone, anyone" as opposed to finding the right one, but I've met quite a few more men who were the same way.

There will always be people who just don't want to be alone. I think they don't really know themselves, or they're insecure. They want to hold on to anyone who gets near, rather than take the time to find someone they are really compatable with.

My suggestion is to run like hell....
MS
 Artz
Joined: 6/1/2007
Msg: 82
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Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 10/17/2007 6:28:44 PM
It is nice to see that There are not as many desperate woman out there as one would think. Now i do havea question. If you are not necessarily looking to get married., why are so many first dates like a police interrogation? It is one thing to get to know each other it is another to question a guy like it isa high security job interview or Like your questioning a suspect .
 cincydeb
Joined: 6/4/2007
Msg: 83
Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 10/17/2007 6:38:48 PM
Good question, Artz. I have personally met with men who ended up being married, had mental illness, were perverts, etc. It is rather scary meeting someone in person and there being a risk factor.
 seatide
Joined: 5/31/2006
Msg: 84
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Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 10/17/2007 6:44:23 PM
This is the way I look at it:

The further away I get from 40, the less I want to get married. At this point and 15 years later, I suspect it'll be easier to con a great white shark to become a vegetarian than get me married.
 One Flew Over
Joined: 10/4/2007
Msg: 85
Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 10/17/2007 7:39:21 PM

If women over 40 are so desperate to get married... how come there isn't one sitting on the couch with me watching old movies?


And the answer:
"They aren't THAT desperate"
doesn't count.


Dang FredHH,
It's good to see you lightened up.
Proud of ya' dude!
 regalrose
Joined: 8/28/2007
Msg: 86
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Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 10/17/2007 7:52:22 PM
LMAO@esad, Diana619,
Yes eagre we are wise...by the way, I'm 44, and desperately seeking a husband, ya up for it? LMAOOOOOOOOOOOO ....you're such a cutie!

I had a similar experience with the first few women I met through POF. Sit down for a coffee and within the first bit, they are asking if I could see us being married, want to move in with them, or similar.
Maybe they were saying....do you see us being married or moved in together...as in....hmmm trying to imagine this...aint workin for me, what about you?....didn't necessarily mean they actually WANTED to do that...women sometimes word things differently than men hear them.
 moraima
Joined: 6/26/2005
Msg: 87
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Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 10/17/2007 8:13:19 PM
""menopause" and mood swings are all over the place. Along with adjusting to the changes and emotions run wild."

Speak for yourself. The info in your post may reflect your opinion, but it doesn't apply to most of us.

Desperate to get married because of menopause and being emotional??

The only menopause caused me was relief to be free from the monthly nonsense. It didn't change the way I felt about wanting to continue my single lifestyle.

I am afraid I get upset when women/men blame things like mood swings on being a women. When I felt under the weather, I always stayed quite, made no decision and didn't engage others in how I was feeling. I realize that women are different from each other. Some are desperate to get married over 40. Most are not. Some blame menopause for the lack of responsiblity for their behaviour. Most don't.
 smartazzjohn
Joined: 8/11/2007
Msg: 88
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Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 10/17/2007 8:23:05 PM
OP I can understand the problem you are having.

I wouldn't want to marry any woman stupid enough to marry me either, its quite a quandry we face isn't it?
 Viel
Joined: 9/14/2007
Msg: 89
Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 10/17/2007 10:02:04 PM
Huh? I'm not sure about marriage, but would like to find a man who will be dedicated to me and me only.
 rustytraveler
Joined: 4/30/2007
Msg: 90
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Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 10/17/2007 11:43:03 PM
Artz wrote:

"It is nice to see that There are not as many desperate woman out there as one would think. Now i do have a question. If you are not necessarily looking to get married., why are so many first dates like a police interrogation? It is one thing to get to know each other it is another to question a guy like it is a high security job interview or Like your questioning a suspect ."

'Cause women go into every meeting with a man...thinking "Is this the ONE?" Because most of us never see sex as just sex (well occasionally , we get buildup too) like you guys do! Or even want just 'that', especially as we get older...we've been there and done that and it's usually a disappointment with someone who only wants sex....usually selfishly just wanting to get his own. Plus it makes us feel like sh1t, cause everyone knows sex is better with someone we love. Who wants to be swatting born again 16 yr olds?

We want to love and embrace and nurture , respect, enjoy and relish being with the one WORTH waiting for, who cares for who we are and how we are....that's the way most healthy women are. It's hardwired in, just like you needed to procreate the planet, we needed to care for the offspring and the good of the family.

But at this point populating the planet is not on the agenda, so wouldn't it really be ideal to have a joining of best buddies and conspirators to sample the delights now that we're less encumbered by all those pesky responsibilities of middle life?

Marriage or no marriage most women like being connected emotionally
 MiriamEtienne
Joined: 7/11/2007
Msg: 91
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Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 10/18/2007 12:24:00 AM
Well I was DESPERATE to get MARRIED ( oit of High School ) to get away from my bossy mother. got married for the WRONG reason.............got divorced, then got into a long ten year relationship then at he end of 1999 he decided we should not evne see each other anymore.


Now I have changed my views on men.............if the right one ever comes along, I will give him my time and my undivided attention but my heart is now under lock and key and NO I do not want to get married again for what ?


Men are like babies................they never grow up...............somneone told me that men are like computers......................yes those creatures they love so much.

" They both have MEMORY but none have BRAINS" .
 Sweet*Child
Joined: 6/11/2007
Msg: 92
Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 10/18/2007 1:34:01 AM
Chaos...................sorry to give ya the wake up call. I would not even DATE you unless you

1.Lost enough weight that you could go on a jog or a hike and not get winded.
2. Shaved the fur off of your face!
3. Developed more interests that would include a woman (something BESIDES classy women.)

One of your interests is "LDS". LDS women ARE marriage oriented. The LDS church IS marriage and family oriented!
If ya don't like water, you have to stay out of the ocean and lakes.
 Sweet*Child
Joined: 6/11/2007
Msg: 93
Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 10/18/2007 1:53:07 AM
Chaos.......in post #59

You should re-read your own posts. You sound very angry, cynical and downright arrogant.

You should be re-assessing yourself right now, then start exercising, get a makeove which includes a shave and some Rogaine treatments on the top & probably the patch in back.

Don't date LDS women if you don't want to get married.

Men like you are the very reason I do not date ANYONE over 35.............and I am in no way shape or form wanting nor desperate to get married. At 30 I was not desperate, nor will I ever be desperate at 40 or 50 or 60 OR EVER!

and

I AM

LDS
 woobytoodsday
Joined: 12/13/2006
Msg: 94
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Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 10/18/2007 2:50:54 AM
What the heck am I going to do with a 70 year old man... change his depends????

Gosh, Sweetie that smarts a bit. You telling me I got three years? And here I was planning on doing Machu Picchu that year, lol! Give it up, hunh?

AS for OPie's point, I think the observation on stats pretty much takes care of that. I did in fact get married at 42. To a 24 year old guy. It was his idea, and he was pretty special, and I haven't really regretted it. Lasted 12 years, and 11 of the 12 were pretty good. My last live-in relationship took care to tell me it wouldn't lead to marriage. And I did have to think about it for a bit: I'd never lived with an adult male that I wasn't married to. But decided it was all right. And it was. Maybe part of the reaction to OPie's announcement was the manner of it?

 highwater
Joined: 9/6/2007
Msg: 95
Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 10/18/2007 3:34:58 AM
Dude, you must be such a great catch that these ladies want to hook up with you permanent like. Keep up the good work!!! Maybe you will end up with the love of you life, however remind them to keep it SLOW.
 Hopesangel402
Joined: 10/30/2006
Msg: 96
Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 10/18/2007 4:45:54 AM
WOW OP,
You Think that this many women are just Angry and in Denial!!!

OK So What Your Saying is that We Really Are just Jumping at the Chance to Get
Remarried????? That is Just NOT Fair, You Should Of Told Us That You Were A
Mind Reader Also. Is That How You Found Out The Other 4 Women Wanted Too Marry YOU???
What Part of NO Do You Not Understand? Is It The N Or The O?????
 dustyroads
Joined: 8/22/2005
Msg: 97
Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 10/18/2007 7:49:10 AM
Wow! I have never had a woman ( at any stage of my life) ask me to marry them. Especially after only a couple months. My girl and I have been together a year, and there has little mention of the M word. If it aint broke......... Hearing OP might give me a complex!! lol!!
 cincydeb
Joined: 6/4/2007
Msg: 98
Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 10/18/2007 9:28:20 AM
Wow, Rustytraveler, well said girlfriend, well said.
 smartazzjohn
Joined: 8/11/2007
Msg: 99
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Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 10/18/2007 10:13:05 AM
after pondering this I think I may have the answer, some women over 40 are desperate to get married, but they aren't just desperate for marriage, they are just desperate. In fact I believe they are desperate enough to date anyone who looks like they wouldn't be able to get anyone else. It's like they are looking for easy prey. In order to save time by just dating this person they bring up marriage right away.

Remember I said some women, IMO most women aren't desperate regardless of their age. The same principals apply to men. Desperation isn't a gender thing.

OP if 50% of the women you are dating are desperate perhaps you should rethink your criteria for the women you date. Talk to them before you ask them out and if you are clever enough you will be able to find out what their agenda is.
Geez I'm not normally this serious and I have a headache now.
 single_lookin850
Joined: 8/20/2007
Msg: 100
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Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 10/18/2007 2:04:31 PM
Ok Hotchild...what is an LDS woman?
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