| Is it ever ok to sleep over on a first date?
Posted: 10/25/2007 10:17:38 AM | I have been in this situation twice over the last few years and it's definitely a gut feeling thing... if u feel completely ok with him and yourself and it feels right... it probably is... one on instance I slept in the same bed with this person (no sex) and the other time slept in a guest bedroom (no sex)! Not all men expect sex right away! Some do some don't... but if that's all the guy wanted he would have put off that vibe earlier in the night... just a thought... | |
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| Is it ever ok to sleep over on a first date?
Posted: 10/25/2007 2:22:47 PM | You lost me at the word "coldsore". tee hee
Not only that, but no, I would never sleep with someone on the first date!!
No matter how sexy he may be.  | |
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| Is it ever ok to sleep over on a first date?
Posted: 10/28/2007 9:51:25 AM | | Thank you for all of your thoughts on the matter! I do like hearing other people's opinions. First off I'd like to respond to some of the posts. I don't think I'd have been comfortable leaving my car to get in a taxi. To me that seems like an extreme step since I'd have to go back to get it at another point. I was not drunk or tipsy at the time just a little tired. Had he even offered that option i think I would have found it a bit odd especially since here taxi's aren't as common as other places. Also, bringing along a sleeping bag would seem too calculated in my opinion. Almost giving off the impression that I was planning on crashing there, but it definitely is something to consider. As times been passing I haven't really regretted leaving just wanting to hear other people's thoughts on the matter. I'm pretty sure I made the right decision at the time even looking back on it. | |
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| Is it ever ok to sleep over on a first date?
Posted: 10/28/2007 10:44:30 AM | | if you have to question then i think you are better of earing on the side of caution and leaving :). Besides, it sounds like there will be other date and other times to sleep over when you both are comfortable with it. | |
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| Is it ever ok to sleep over on a first date?
Posted: 10/28/2007 10:57:40 AM | So the subject is: Is it ever ok to sleep over on a first date? The "ever" bit kind of makes the question relatively meaningless. There obviously could be some circumstances where it would be appropriate to sleep over. Evidently "sleep over" is some kind of implied euphemism for having sex, such as "sleep with". I take sleeping over to mean that I am sleeping in the same house, not necessarily the same bed, and to me neither necessarily implies having sex.
I stayed over on a first date, although I drove 4 hours to get there. It was like a mini vacation and I slept on the couch. Her girlfriend called to check on her and I talked with her and thanked her for being such a good and concerned friend. I had a nice time and we still communicate by email, but 250 miles is kind of far for me for a relation ship (but obviously 250 miles would not be too far if there were major sparks for both of us). | |
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| Is it ever ok to sleep over on a first date?
Posted: 10/28/2007 9:09:25 PM | | I dated a guy after my divorce that I knew from a non online situation and we were an hour apart and we slept and snuggled for almost two months, my home and his home both, in the same bed before taking it any further. Mainly the reason we stayed over was because of the lateness of the dates ending and just wanting to spend more than one evening on the weekends with each other. He had two teenagers that we also had to consider but they didnt have a problem with me being there or their dad being at my place either. When it did get more serious we stayed almost all the time at his place due to the boys living with him and for 6 more months I was there every weekend and during days off from my job. But no I would never sleep with a man on a first date in the other sense | |
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| Is it ever ok to sleep over on a first date?
Posted: 10/28/2007 10:23:40 PM | | shoot,, if the drive was too much for him,, tell him theres a motel 6 close by. if i had an incling in my gut that i was even the slightest bit uncomfortable, this guy is not staying. plus, im not in the habit of, not that i see anything wrong with it, its just not my thing really. | |
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| Is it ever ok to sleep over on a first date?
Posted: 10/30/2007 5:24:05 AM |
shoot,, if the drive was too much for him,, tell him theres a motel 6 close by
if that was meant as a reply to my post well, the drive wasnt too much for him and we wanted to spend as much time together on the one nite that we could, as it started out as just one nite, dinner, then the evening then breakfast. and since we dated for quite awhile after that and had known each other for a long time before that we were hardly uncomfortable with each other. Nothing wrong with cuddling and having someone you are interested in getting to know be next to you at nite. | |
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| Is it ever ok to sleep over on a first date?
Posted: 10/30/2007 8:19:03 AM | ummm , no it wasnt for you or in responce to you.
it was a slight misunderstanding to the op.
but either way, if someone is asking "is it ok" then they arent totally comfortable with their decision and they arent really looking for a no answer . they are actually looking and hoping that the consensus will be to the affirmative on their decision to sleep over, or let sleep over hers on a first.
i would say,
do what you want, just dont scare the horses!
but then i dont care if anyone else agrees with the decisions i make for myself. its my life, i dont need approval from anynone. | |
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| Is it ever ok to sleep over on a first date?
Posted: 10/30/2007 12:12:14 PM | Everyone is different. Even if I spoke with someone for 3 months... I wouldn't have ended up back at their place.
That was sweet of him to offer .... best that you went home......... | |
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| Is it ever ok to sleep over on a first date?
Posted: 10/30/2007 12:46:33 PM | You went to a guys house on the first date? I guess you don't give a shit about your well being, first dates are never at someone house, doesn't matter how long you correspond with a person, this time you were lucky nothing happened and your life wasn't in danger.
A hour and a half isn't that far unless you're driving a Smart car in the rain, why wouldn't you of spring for a hotel? | |
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| Is it ever ok to sleep over on a first date?
Posted: 12/23/2007 4:46:32 AM | It's OK to marry on a first date if it's the absoloute right person.
I"m wondering how sleep deprived you wer and how safe on the road at that time of the morning. | |
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| Is it ever ok to sleep over on a first date?
Posted: 12/23/2007 1:22:45 PM | I don't see a thing wrong with it, in fact, would have been far safer than driving home so tired you might have had an accident falling asleep at the wheel! Sounds like a nice guy, looking out for your safety. Glad to know there are still some like that around. | |
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| Is it ever ok to sleep over on a first date?
Posted: 5/4/2008 2:49:00 PM | I agree with your decision, but I would have gone home earlier so that the question might not even come up. The longer you stayed the more the situation called for this offer to be made, just as a courtesy. I think staying would have sent an ambiguous message to him.
I just went through a variation on your situatuon. After emailing for a few months with a guy I met on POF, he asked if we could meet. This guy lives an hour's drive away. I said sure and we made a date to do an outdoor activity together, meeting in the morning around 10am. The guy asked if he could spend the night at my place the day before, so be ready early.
I asked for a couple hours to think.
When he called back I said I didn't feel comfortable having someone overnight at my house, whom I had not even met in person. That it was nothing personal, but that I felt it was too big of a leap in our "relationship", after all I had only given him my cell number the day before. I also said that maybe our relationship wasn't viable if very time we met he would have to sleep over. (He had already mentioned in an earlier email, that if I came over I stay over night at his place.)
He said no pb, said he just wanted to make a weekend of it. He would be fine getting up earlier at his house to be here.
He drove here on time and everything was fine. We spent the whole day out together and he went home after midnight.
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| Is it ever ok to sleep over on a first date?
Posted: 6/1/2008 12:13:35 PM | I met a guy after talking to him for 4 month.I went to see him and stayed for 4 days.When I left he cried.Hmm,memories ....
He was living in Toronto and we dated for 3 years after meeting.When I got on that plane to see him I knew it wasn`t to play scrabble in Ontario and I expected the best and was prepared for the worse . | |
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