w82b
|
Joined: 5/9/2005
Msg: 76 | |
| 36 year old woman and 21 year old guy?
Posted: 5/19/2005 11:19:20 PM | In our neighbourhood there are a few women in their 40's and 50's that hung around in a group and dated guys way younger than them, after divorcing. They are now upset because the young guys have moved back to women closer to their own age and no man in this neighbourhood wants anything to do with these women, except for the young guys. One of the guys put it best "They're tired of babysitting and now they want to be pampered; too late."
It's a rather shallow response when stating that men date younger women therefore women can date younger men. That's an excuse to validate your conscience. It's as valid an argument as stating that women should have urinals in their washroom because guys do.
I don't know of any reasonable person praising a man for having a very young bride. They are looked upon the same way. The difference being the man usually supports the younger woman and not vise versa..
Everyone has the freedom to do as they please. I would recommend looking at the long term effects of your reasoning. | |
|
w82b
|
Joined: 5/9/2005
Msg: 77 | |
| 36 year old woman and 21 year old guy?
Posted: 5/19/2005 11:52:48 PM | From my personal experience, I will tell you one thing you may not have thought about. I was 21, she 26 with a daughter. She was married for several years without having children in the marriage. I was happy about the relationship until a few years passed and then I become a little jealous of other couples. The other couples were young and childless. They were able to be a couple for many years. They enjoyed a responsible free life regarding children. It got to the point where I was upset at times because I never experienced what it was like to be a couple rather than a family with kids. The excitements and thrills of spontanious decisions made as a couple were removed from me as a young guy.
He will be a family first and a couple second. That is a big burden for a twenty one year old. His intentions may be good but he may not be thinking about what he has to sacrifice at such a young age. | |
|
| 36 year old woman and 21 year old guy?
Posted: 5/20/2005 7:00:08 AM | | I'm confused about all the "sacrifice", "burden" and "regrets" language...are you getting ready to marry this guy or is it like any other relationship, getting to know him and see what happens? If you're just meeting him, why not treat it like any other new person in your life, because any age group has hurdles to get over (exes, kids, jobs) these are just different ones. If you think too much about the possible consequences of ANY relationship, you'd probably dismiss them all. | |
|
| 36 year old woman and 21 year old guy?
Posted: 5/20/2005 7:27:28 AM | Hey Carrie,
Nothing wrong with that...I personally only date younger men as well. The kid thing is an issue and I know exactly how u feel ...Its up to him if that matters or not. It may not..just be good to eachother. Good luck! | |
|
| 36 year old woman and 21 year old guy?
Posted: 5/20/2005 7:37:51 AM | Carrie, I'm 54 and dated a guy 15 years younger than me. It was great, the intimate relationship ended but we are still good friends now. The 2 years that we spent together means more to me than the 30 years of marriage I had. I would not trade it for any other relationship that I have had. He was always there for me, he may have been younger but his soul was right there with me.
I suggest that you search your heart and go with your gut feeling and give him a chance to prove to you that he can be what he says. Don't loose the opportunity now for a maybe later.
sassy | |
|
| 36 year old woman and 21 year old guy?
Posted: 5/20/2005 7:49:38 AM | I think it is a little freaky.
Your all creased and old,and he is all young fit and dumb?
The truth sometimes hurts/Everybody hurts sometimes/R.E.M. | |
|
| |
| 36 year old woman and 21 year old guy?
Posted: 5/20/2005 8:02:28 AM | The one thing we cannot control was when we were born. So just be happy together, whatever your age differences may be. History is full of successful romantic relationships with wide age variatons. Live for the moment and follow your feelings.  | |
|
w82b
|
Joined: 5/9/2005
Msg: 84 | |
| 36 year old woman and 21 year old guy?
Posted: 5/20/2005 9:02:54 AM | What I've noticed in this thread is that many women who admit to having a relationship with a much younger guy and support the OP on this, aren't with the young guy any more. But they are dating other young guys.
Is there any one who has a long term relationship with a younger guy (more than 7-10 years long)? I bet the ratio of long term relationships : short term relationship with a young guy is not even close.
It all comes down to the motivating factors for dating a younger guy. Myself, I prefer women around my age bracket because it is more likely that they will accept things/changes that are common for people in our age bracket.
Once again, it is a freedom of choice. Hopefully your decision will turn out to be a blessing rather than a disappointment. | |
|
| 36 year old woman and 21 year old guy?
Posted: 5/20/2005 9:08:38 AM | WOW, sticky situation...but if you feel in your heart that is is right for you, then go for it. My mom married a man about 12 years younger than her, and they are living happily ever after.
Go with you heart, and with you gut. | |
|
| |
| |
| 36 year old woman and 21 year old guy?
Posted: 5/26/2005 7:30:47 PM | | Well i have dated women in their upper 30's as well as their 40's and am only 22 and i think it's great i learn so much from them its the most fun i have ever had | |
|
| 36 year old woman and 21 year old guy?
Posted: 5/27/2005 2:54:50 PM | There are exceptions to MOST rules.Having said that,most people over 35 dating people UNDER 25 are either insecure,immature,selfish,dysfunctional,have lowered expectations,have hormones affecting brain cells or ALL of the above.I phrased this because its true IMO regardless of gender of the "older" person.Its not about the simple numbers,but about relative maturation and level of expectations.The ONLY thing more likely due to gender is that if its a female who is younger she is LESS likely to leave the "older"man even though as a rule the "olderman" is immature/immatureand most likely dysfunctional.Reason,generally speaking the younger woman is more likely to be at a higher level of emotional maturity,still the relationship is flawed because as noted the much older man is generally immature,insecure and/OR dysfunctional.Eventually the younger man tends to "grow up" and thus the relationship with a woman who is over 35 while he is UNDER 25 has not grown with him.See,the maturation rate slows after 30....if a man/woman hasn't reached a level of emotional/mental maturation by that time its not likely to happen.
I find the age of 25 is key in older younger relationships.25 is a much better age to gage things and the gap between maturation levels begins to close.21/36 is a 15 yr age difference,which is alot as far as USUAL maturation/experience is concerned.....but take 30/45 and the gap has closed considerably most times.I find this to be true regardless of gender.
1 thing I'd caution ANYONE regardless of age difference; NEVER have sex in the house when kids are home(unless married) tacky,tasteless,selfish and indicative of ALL of the things mentioned before. Now if the parent doesn't "believe" in marraige,thats a whole different topic on dysfunction  | |
|
| |
| 36 year old woman and 21 year old guy?
Posted: 6/12/2005 4:12:46 PM | Is it feasable or is it doomed right from the beginning? The electricity is in the air, but I have my 2 kids, do I have the right to deny him the chance of his own children? )
You're assuming by saying that, that It's forever... He's 21 -mosre than likely you may well enjoy eachothers company but his age will eventually turn you off in some way as yours will him. I'm not being negative, just honest. You may be more concerned that your children will grow attached to him and then he'll be gone.
Personally I have no idea at all what a woman sees in younger men, but thats a personal choice I know. Whatever happens be good to eachother and your children should always come first. Best wishes | |
|
| 36 year old woman and 21 year old guy?
Posted: 6/12/2005 7:52:00 PM | Is this a real issue?
There are absolutely gorgeous women out there at 40 who are more feminine and undeniably more attractive than their own daughters half their age and them choosing to date a guy the age of their kid(s) is something no real young guy should ever resist.
I didn't.   | |
|
| 36 year old woman and 21 year old guy?
Posted: 6/12/2005 11:58:45 PM | Dated two 40 yr olds one after the other when I was 20...it was fantastic. One, the one that lasted the longest, had a 19 year old daughter. Asked the daughter if she had a problem with me seeing her mom as we were so close together in age, she said, "No, you are making her happy, why should I care!" <- Right attitude in my opinion.
It was great and can only recommend it! A big plus, is when a lady is mature enough and comfortable enough in her own skin, you experience so many fewer hangups and so much more pleasure! I guarrantee you the Mom was allot more fun then the daughter!
While ladies closer to my own age seem to be better all around, I have been fortunate enough to be with some wonderful younger women. So it is possible and when it happens it is always rewarding. I have found that with a younger woman I can enjoy experiencing and/or sharing a experience through their eyes... The reality is that age is relative and too many people make a big deal about it, shame as they miss out on some outstanding good times and meeting some great people.
Being the older person in the relationship, perhaps you can show them how to really please at least one person (you) and they will thank you the rest of their days!
For the younger person in the relationship, it is very freeing to be around someone that knows themselves and is willing to share! | |
|
| 36 year old woman and 21 year old guy?
Posted: 6/13/2005 12:07:45 AM | What I find a bit rediculous is in the threads where its an older guy/ younger woman the original poster gets ripped apart and practically called a pedophile...yet the reverse is true for women.
Personally, I think age means pretty much nothing. As long as you and the guy are into each other and want to have a go at it, all the power to you. If it works, awsome! | |
|
| 36 year old woman and 21 year old guy?
Posted: 6/13/2005 12:47:23 AM | I am usually more attracted to younger men!
But not attracted to them becuase they are younger like them for who they are. Don't really ask how old they are and they don't usually ask me either.
I think too and have done this myself ... making decisions for them like wether you should be together with them or not... its your choice if YOU want to be with him or not! BUT don't make the decision on what he should have and not have in life I am sure those are decisions that He can make on his own!
I am sure you both have lots too offer to each other in a relationship....given the chance...oh yah and the sexual prime thing too...thats a bonus...lol...!Have fun! | |
|
| 36 year old woman and 21 year old guy?
Posted: 6/13/2005 1:32:35 AM | geez who says 36yo women are all creased and old,...where do you get that from..? not if they like anyone takes a bit of care of themselves...lol...not time for the walking frame or dentures quite yet...add another 30...and then maybe.. | |
|
| 36 year old woman and 21 year old guy?
Posted: 6/14/2005 12:22:18 PM | | I am so glad I came upon this thread! Finding that I have somehow or another stumbled into a similiar situation, it was nice to read the various opinions on the subject. Myself, I am going for it despite the various doubts I may have. If you connect with someone, then I think it would be worse to not follow it through and always wonder "what might have been" than it is to just be brave and just find out where it can lead. | |
|
| 36 year old woman and 21 year old guy?
Posted: 7/11/2005 2:05:53 AM | While there is an age difference and you are entitled to your opinion need to know what exactly is "sick and wrong" if two persons find an interest in each other and want to date?
That is their business and as long as they have common interests it is no other individuals affair.
As long as neither party involved is not taking an unfair advantage of the other, not playing a bizarre game, all power to them.
This society is just too concerned about age in a macabre and distorted way.
There are so many lonely people who wish that they could have "someone" with whom to speak, date, love or just a wonderful friendship.
Are they compatible? That is all which is necessary and it is neither "sick and wrong" and all the best to them and every other comparable couple. | |
|
| 36 year old woman and 21 year old guy?
Posted: 7/11/2005 2:17:33 AM | Your personal statement about "creased and old" is disgusting and unnecessary.
There is far more to a relationship than little teeny boppers attempting to be women and trying oh so hard to be grown up and to haave the endowments which they have not as yet acquired with maturation.
I am 63, and have from a very early age never been concerned about "age" differences and the world needs to be less concerned about age, and be more concerned about what is in an individuals heart and mind.
I celebrate all women for their feminine magnificence but particularly mature women who are soft, creased, gentle, charming, "mature", not crude and loud.
Stop being so insultive and take a good look at yourself both physically and intellectually. | |
|
luneib
|
Joined: 4/27/2005
Msg: 100 | |
| 36 year old woman and 21 year old guy?
Posted: 7/18/2005 6:05:10 PM | | I totally agree with you on what you wrote. I go for the fun in my life, I don't look at the age difference, I just look at who is right for me, who I have fun with. I mean, life is short, why worry about everything right? Just have fun in life. I feel 23, I just turned 54, so younger guys feel right to me when I date them. My newest bf is 44, a real cutie, met him on here. I don't feel I have to look for anyone else, he is perfect, a gentleman, kind, caring, loving, everything a girl would want in a guy. He has a couple of sons who I also adore, they are great kids, very well brought up. We are talking things slowly, but hopefully in a years time, will know better how things are going, and perhaps move it up a step or two. I miss him already, he lives far from me, in another state. I visited him this past July 4th weekend, we had a ball. He flew to see me a week or so before. | |
|
Home
login 
