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| Players! What is it like to play? C'mon be honest!
Posted: 12/10/2007 9:43:42 PM |
a real player could care less about the conquest. either you're down or you're not,,, if you're not, he/she will move on to the next person.
I beg to differ on that statement.
I think the wannabe players and the run of the mill "can I get in her pants players" may be like that. I think however that real players accept the challenge of a woman who is not so easy, not so gullible... At least from my point of view, I love the thrill of the game. Maybe I'm not therefore a player by the common definition? Not sure anymore.
I've walked away from women who were too easy and too available. It's no fun when they make it too easy. Just my outlook anyway. | |
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| Players! What is it like to play? C'mon be honest!
Posted: 12/10/2007 10:02:27 PM | Uhm you are bitter this is not a player.
A player is not out to hurt anyone, a player is simply out to meet their own needs then split.
All a player is , is someone who takes more risk at first and cuts their risk later by trading up before anything has to be really risked.
Being a player is about being selfish, arrogant and to some degree loving your self above others. Not loving your self in wholesome sense, but putting your pleasure first.
Also players enjoy the thrill of taking it far, but they don't purposely try to hurt girls they simply do what a girl will allow them to do.
And I'm not a player I just crush alot.
Ice Cubes mostly. | |
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| Players! What is it like to play? C'mon be honest!
Posted: 12/11/2007 8:20:13 AM | I don't think "a player" is always a player, that is, often not forever.
I believe it has to do with phases of life and what someone is going through at the time, which often relates to a certain amount of temporary insecurity. (Yes, a "player" is usually somewhat insecure. That should put a smile on a face or two).  . For one example, someone just out of a marriage or a long relationship, is much more likely to be a player for a time, than are longer-term veteran single people. (This applies to both genders by the way, and many of each, appear online).
That's the "rebound" phase when they are reassuring themselves about their romantic and/or sexual prowess. It can be very ill-advised to become deeply involved with someone during this phase, because it is a time of psychological re-building and ego re-building, and to some degree, is necessary to restore self-confidence. Yet there are victims produced during this phase. So, if not well-guarded and aware, it is easy to become that.
Other times I think players mature, and come to realize there is a lot more to life than how many people they can bag, or how many notches they can carve in the bed-post. It really isn't about numbers or keeping score. That's all pretty trivial, in reality. But for most folks, it takes time and experiences to come to that realization.
Not only that, but such carving habits can absolutely RUIN an otherwise perfectly good bed-post! 
-Suth'nBoy 
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| Players! What is it like to play? C'mon be honest!
Posted: 12/11/2007 6:15:28 PM | It's a game, winner takes all. Some are better than others at it and some just cheat to win.
Either way, the "players" lack character.
For them, it's not if or how you win, but you have to win, at all cost. | |
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| Players! What is it like to play? C'mon be honest!
Posted: 12/12/2007 9:56:58 AM | The variety of views on this certainly are diverse. At least that much is clear!! 
But it happens with most people at some point in their lives, unless they are just frightfully shy or something, and could never pull it off. Because it is fulfilling a psychological need they must fill, at that particular time.
But that doesn't mean they'll always be that way, nor that they are necessary pond-scum for having gone through a needy and relatively insecure phase in their lives. It's actually rather natural (if unfortunate). But again, natural doesn't mean it isn't destructive or painful for others. Because often, it is.
-Suth'nBoy
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| Players! What is it like to play? C'mon be honest!
Posted: 12/12/2007 11:13:01 AM | "NO, TO ALL OF THAT CRAP!"
Your have your opinion, I'll have mine. Just don't try to shove your crap down my throat and I won't make personal attacks on you. If you can not uphold your view point with facts, don't attack others for their views on the subject.
We all have personal experiences to gain knowledge from and lots of books on the market to study and learn from and garner our personal opinions. Your entitled to your view point, but SO AM I.
Players are gamers and the brass ring is the WIN AT ALL COST, irregardless of the pain and hurt it brings to someone else. Players have a character flaw in that they lack empathy for others. They are only concerned about meeting their needs. | |
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svj
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Joined: 9/15/2007
Msg: 407 | |
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eazk
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Joined: 9/8/2006
Msg: 408 | |
| Players! What is it like to play? C'mon be honest!
Posted: 12/12/2007 11:27:18 AM | Everybody who's in the game plays.
Everybody hates losing.
Players have winning strategies.
What keeps your strategy fom being a winner? Is it the other person, or your strategy?
Bottom line...women are about 100 times more analytical than males.
They are used to having the upper hand in relationship.
Players simply have learned some of the key interaction and communication skills that women crave. It is still up to the woman to determine intentions, to assure integrity and consistency. Not doing that pre-establishes her as a victim. | |
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| Players! What is it like to play? C'mon be honest!
Posted: 12/12/2007 5:11:33 PM | | What ever happened to just being HONEST? Most people can handle honesty, as long as they can depend on it and it's not done in a way to demoralize another. Honesty and kindness is what sets some people apart from others. It's also called intregrety. | |
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| Players! What is it like to play? C'mon be honest!
Posted: 12/12/2007 8:51:47 PM | Trish, I gotta call BS.
one who dates freely who he/she choses without intent of traditional attachments, all the while being very honest and upfront about it.
You're kidding.
OK, I'm gonna tell you what a player is where I'm from. The first time I heard the term was about the early 90's. UB has it right.
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=player
Player- A male who is skilled at manipulating ("playing") others, and especially at seducing women by pretending to care about them, when in reality they are only interested in sex. Possibly derived from the phrases "play him for a fool", or "play him like a violin". The term was popularized by hip-hop culture, but was commonly recognized among urban American blacks by the 1970s.
"To play" someone is use, manipulate, cheat, get over on someone. There is nothing honest or upfront about playing someone. That's why it's called playing someone, or player. There is no honesty, it's about lies, assumed names, trains, used women.
That's fine if that's what you think a player is, but no.
The very word player is directly related to what they do.
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=played
You got played; lied to, used, cheated, maniuplated. There is nothing fair, honest or up front about being played, or being a player.
Anyhow, I don't know where you got your meaning from, perhaps you made it up. But in the urban commnity, that's what a player is. | |
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| Players! What is it like to play? C'mon be honest!
Posted: 12/12/2007 9:24:56 PM | forthempire...Thank You, Thank You. You, I and most people agree with what and how you explained it. You stated it very clearly and precise. It's people who don't give a dahum about others, only that THEY succeed in THEIR goal, what ever that is. Very self serving people, with out apathy for others. A lot are sociopaths and have never matured emotionally. They lack a conscious.
I've had the occasion to have the experience first hand and didn't recognize the game till afterwards and then educated myself on the make up of such people. I've seen good people, very damaged emotionally by players. The good ones, you never know what hit you till it's over and they have moved on to their next victim. And that is exactly what one is, when they are mislead, lied to, conned manipulated and deceived, The Victim. Most are people who want to believe in the goodness of others and have little concept how devious some can be.
Being played by a player can be very emotionally damaging to the one played, but the player has little or no remorse. They can not relate to the damage they do to others because they are defective of a conscious or any feelings of guilt or responsibility. | |
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| Players! What is it like to play? C'mon be honest!
Posted: 12/13/2007 3:03:16 AM |
a player is someone who "plays the field" and makes no excuses or explanations. they do make declarations.
Hey Girl, Yeah, I agree with you to a certain extent....
I'm tired of all these people who try to excuse their own failures by blaming a "player".
In reality, a good player, is so good, you are still in love with him, long after he's moved on, never realising you've been played.
The people who, shall we say "cum and go" are not players, they're just low life's who make it difficult for people like me....
That being said...
I will do what I feel is necessary to accomplish my goals.... whether that goal for the moment is sex, or just to spend the night "snogging" on the dancefloor, with the girl of my choice.... | |
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| Players! What is it like to play? C'mon be honest!
Posted: 12/13/2007 3:33:22 AM | Well my so called player! had the wool well and truely pulledl over my eyes for 8 months,,thought he was a stand up guy. 1. Thought he was a great father to his estranged children, well trying to be! he blamed his ex for being difficult- he was a shit father! 2.Thought he was a successful business man-he was up to his ass in dept. 3. Thought he was caring and kind hearted guy-he told me he was dieing with a tumor- there was no tumor......and there is more! Am i the idiot for trusting and believing this mans lies or am i just a human looking to love and be loved? so to use players and un believers...im a stronger person if not bit more warey but it didnt kill me....he s still the lying sad bass and always will be!  | |
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| Players! What is it like to play? C'mon be honest!
Posted: 12/13/2007 5:37:48 AM | Damn, I thought I'd learn something about players by reading this post. There's so many definitions and opinions on players. From reading all of this, I'm a player and so is everybody else. We all are I don't I'll read this post anymore, it'll only confuse me more.
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| Players! What is it like to play? C'mon be honest!
Posted: 12/13/2007 6:06:24 AM | no in the urban community thats what a lying ho no class scum is
Really?
UD has 9 pages of definations of what a player is, and they all say the same thing. Read them.
As anyone who into rap and rap culture and they'll say the same thing. The first time I remember really hearing about players was from Too Short off of Shorty the Pimp, the song was called I'm a player. Then I'm a playa from the Penthouse players clique. Then it seemed like everyone and their momma was saying it. I suppose it just became part of the standard urban language, which happen to permeate pop culture. Along with Beeiach! Which oddly enough, Too Short started that one also. The term player has been around about for at least 15 years (that I can trace back).
You say what I call a player you call a "lying ho no class scum".
YOU ARE 100 PERCENT CORRECT!!! There is no honor in being a player. You've obviously never seen a player in action. I've seen some very nasty stuff happen. Do you know what a train is?
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=train
Or coming home to see a few naked chicks there. I could tell you story after story and you'd call it gross, digusting and every other name in the book. And you'd be right, becuase that's what a player is.
You're talking about something closer to a serial dater, not a player. A player has sinister intentions, and very cruel and ugly results. I don't think most people realize just how damaging players can be. Hell, I've always been "the good boy" among everyone where I'm from, and I have a enough stories to fill a book. I know it only gets worse. Hell, you're lucky your defination of a player is so soft, becuase you don't want to see what really happens. | |
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eazk
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Joined: 9/8/2006
Msg: 417 | |
| Players! What is it like to play? C'mon be honest!
Posted: 12/13/2007 7:30:46 AM | ScotsRaven~...a player would have never went down that path for 8 months. You got hooked by a lying jerk. He found a weakness and exploited it. Players just aren't into it for the long term unless there is some huge benefit to it...like, you look like a playboy model, have sex like a pornstar, have scads of money and don't want commitment. Do you qualify?
Problem is, women have to quit thinking that lying slimeballs are players. They're not, they're lying slimeballs. How do you tell the difference? Well...you never really want a player to leave. | |
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| Players! What is it like to play? C'mon be honest!
Posted: 12/13/2007 7:46:52 AM | That's fine if you were out there defining what a player was back in 1902. But you were doing it for yourself, and you only. You see, I just linked back to UD because it was the first place I could think of.
You're defining player for yourself. UD has a bunch of people who never met each other, and for some odd reason they all define player in a similar way. Why would that be?
And that's easy, UD is using the term player from the urban/rap/ghetto mindet. That's speaking from an entire culture, not just one person. Now I don't know where you got your definition from. But I got mine from where I grew up, from middle school, high school, my world when I was young.
I mean, you can say I know nothing about players, but it isn't gonna change I grew up with that word. That's part of living in Lansing. That's what people did, that's what people do now. You're 48 years old. Did you really grow up with the word player in your lexicon? I did. As a child of the 80's I never heard the term player, as a teen of the 90's hell yeah I did.
You tell me to listen to what growups are talking about. That's funny, I never thought player to be a "grownup " term. Player was a rap term, that's youth speak, slang. I thought older people from the 60's had words like "groovy". | |
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| Players! What is it like to play? C'mon be honest!
Posted: 12/13/2007 9:16:49 AM | forthempire....you have it, pretty much right on. Don't bother arguing with closed minded people. A player sets their own game rules and the object of their attention really never knows what that object is/was until the game is over. Could be money, could be sex, could be a roof over their heads, could be the crowd one associates with. But for a player, there is always a pay off for THEM, at someone else's expense.
Its a derogatory term and not something one should be proud of being called. | |
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| Players! What is it like to play? C'mon be honest!
Posted: 12/13/2007 12:38:18 PM | This is my last try.
This is what a player is:
Player- A male who is skilled at manipulating ("playing") others, and especially at seducing women by pretending to care about them, when in reality they are only interested in sex. Possibly derived from the phrases "play him for a fool", or "play him like a violin". The term was popularized by hip-hop culture, but was commonly recognized among urban American blacks by the 1970s.
You can take it or leave it. You can tell me I'm wrong, fine. But one thing that doesn't change is when I'm out talking to people I know, this is what they know it as too. This is what everyone has said it was since I was about 13. From kid to adult, it's remained the same.
What is a player, is it a good thing?:
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20070620044710AABDhAU
Enough said. | |
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| Players! What is it like to play? C'mon be honest!
Posted: 12/13/2007 12:46:30 PM |
As a child of the 80's I never heard the term player, as a teen of the 90's hell yeah I did.
I've been a player for so long, I could have fathered people in your generation. hahahha The people are right though, RAP is not the source of all wisdom. In fact it's a very antithesis of it.
Players existed before I was born, and new ones are appearing each month. Some retire, some settle.
As was said before, the people you seem to describe are just wannabe's. Beta males playing at being Alphas. Perhaps not even Beta's.
Playing is a solitary game.
It's a man's game. | |
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| Players! What is it like to play? C'mon be honest!
Posted: 12/13/2007 1:22:03 PM | I'm wondering, wouldn't "Gold digger" be the other side of the coin, in reference to describing the female version? A woman who uses sex, stroking, ego building techniques to miss lead a male into thinking she genuinely cares, .....for the end result, to garner, expensive dates, trips, the big home, the porch, the unlimited credit cards and the big bank account. You know, along with the "trophy wife" or "younger mistress". It's done for the rewards.
Kinda like gigolo and high classed call girls are the two sides of that coin. They both do it for money. Each paid for their services. | |
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| Players! What is it like to play? C'mon be honest!
Posted: 12/14/2007 12:01:25 AM | Obviously no one is an expert here and everyone has an opinion of what the correct definition of a player is. Bearing that in mind, here are a few more opinions to add to the mix. The only difference I see is that these opinions are published and out there, and thus in my mind, have been well defined after some research into the matter has occurred. And they have been put out for public consumption as a sort of "official" definition. Personally, I think that these kind of definitions carry more weight, at least for me they do. Take a look and see what you think.
American Heritage Dictionary - Slang
Player - One who actively seeks out sexual partners and carries on a number of sexual affairs at the same time.
Wikepedia - the free encyclopedia -
Player may refer to:
Player (dating), slang term for a (usually male, but also female) individual skilled at sexual seduction
WordNet - noun
a person who pursues a number of different social and sexual partners simultaneously
WordNet® 3.0, © 2006 by Princeton University.
And finally, this small published thesis I found on the topic:
What is a Player in Internet Dating?
By B. Todd Steinway
We are in the age of Internet dating. Many people seem very cautious when first Internet dating, and rightfully so. I have personally Internet dated and have had a few very satisfying and rewarding dating and relationship experiences. But, what I want to talk about in this article is the concept of what a "Player" is in the Internet dating world.
I first came across the term "Player" when reading profiles. If I had to define the term, I think I would define it as related to a male who is portraying himself as wanting an exclusive long term relationship. But in reality, he is only out for some sex and will be trying to do the same thing to multiple women at once without the others knowing about it. It seems that a player is undesirable from a woman's viewpoint. I think the possibility exists for there to be a woman player, but I have not heard of one or have come across one. If you find one in the Detroit area, let me know!
So, is a player someone who is doing it intentional or non-intentionally. There may be both out there. Let me explain. Even though I am not a player, I have been accused of being one! How funny. If you are familiar with Internet dating, you know that at first, you will be talking with several people via e-mail and then going on a first date to see if it warrants further dates. Eventually, you will want to date just one person and cut the others off. This is somewhat the normal progression of the Internet dating process. This is the point at which players are made, born, or turned into one. Let us examine the intentional player first and see how this person might behave and what they are doing.
The intentional player is usually a "hunter". Another term I came across in Internet dating and a subject of another article I will write. Basically a hunter is someone who tries to contact as many women as possible and sees who bites. The player is going after people for looks or after some feature(s) that are desirable for them. They will always say that they are not dating anyone else and not in a relationship. They can be very crafty and deceiving. I think I should mention here, that some players are not single. They might be in a committed relationship or even married. Their profiles will be great of course, and they will write and say all the correct things. Be very charismatic, and seem like Mr. Perfect. The player may be lying or fibbing about his credentials in order to seem more attractive to date. For example, he may not be telling the truth about the amount of money he makes, his career, hobbies, things he likes to do, past relationships, etc. All, in order to get you to date him to eventually get into a sexual relationship. He will be very suave, and may try to get you into bed the first date if you allow it or within the next few dates. It seems that women are very susceptible in the first few dates, because they want to meet a great guy, and get swept away with what may seem like Mr. Right. The player will definitely take advantage of this. In a future article, I will talk about how to spot a player.
Let us now examine a non-intentional type player. It is someone whose intentions are noble, but end up being a type of a player non-intentionally. Let go through a possible scenario. Like I mentioned earlier, at first, a person will be chatting with several people and date several people. Many dates will not get past the first one. But, there will be a second date with someone eventually and possibly a relationship. Let us imagine that we have a person who is on a third date with someone, and sex happens on this date. What is next? Well, normally, the people will either stop talking with other people on-line that they are in process with and will not date anyone else. They will continue dating the individual they want a relationship with. This is how everyone hopes it will work. Now, let say that they have dated several weeks now, and the initial excitement of the relationship is wearing off. Also, some alarms are starting to show. Maybe, kids are involved, and you have met them and they are out of control. Or, an ex starts to surface and is psycho. Or, financial issues may surface. Now, let us say not everyone is perfect and these items I mentioned are not real bad. If they are bad in severity, run for the hills! But, if they seem like they can be tolerated and not enough of a problem to get rid of the person now. But, you want to continue the relationship a little longer to see how things pan out. Then comes along an e-mail or a phone call from someone you were talking with on-line earlier and never dated. You end up conversing with them, and they ask you out on a date. What do you do? Well, if you go out with them because you are curious and somewhat interested, the current relationship is questionable and then this is a scenario that you could end up in a player type scenario.
Now there are many types of scenarios and processes that intentional and non-intentional players are part of and use, but this is only intended to explain the concepts and introduce what a player may be like.
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2007 © Associated Content, All rights reserved.
http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/179532/what_is_a_player_in_internet_dating.html | |
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| Players! What is it like to play? C'mon be honest!
Posted: 12/14/2007 12:25:59 AM | And here's a couple more interesting little ditties warning those who might encounter "the player."
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How to Detect a Dating Player
Learn to Decipher the Code of Players
By Teresa Opdycke
A player or gamer is someone who uses romance and various manipulations to get what he/she wants when they want it. For men this is usually sex and for women, sometimes called playettes, it could be anything from sex to diamonds. It may be a protective layer that isn't ready to be open to the possibilities of a relationship or it may be a way to get a kick out of how far they can go before the jig is up or maybe they just want to put another notch on the belt of sexual encounters. Regardless of the underlying reason why someone plays games, if the smell of fire is apparent, get out before the house burns down.
The Case of the Married but Looking
If you're single and out there in any way you may well come across this notorious gamer. The merry frolic is this… blissfully wedded is not in the language of this game player, however, not ready to toss in the towel, the married but looking takes to the streets to find someone gullible and/or needy enough to allow themselves to be taken in by the ruse. The game usually begins with "hide the ring in the pocket" so there's no physical evidence of a signed license hiding in an iron box tucked away. The game really begins when the conversation and dating begins. Sure signs that your partner in this relationship is married: Asks for your phone number but won't reciprocate. Now some people don't think twice about this because they would just as soon be called rather than do the calling. Moving on… Only calls you during the week between the hours of 9-5. What's going on the other 16 hours of the day? You'll never see the inside of the gamer's home. No way, no how, ain't gonna happen. It's your place or no place. While driving down the street you suddenly find your head on the seat with a hand holding it down. Yes, my friend, this really happens. An acquaintance happened by and you are not to be seen.
The good thing about the married but looking player is you'll soon figure it out and a confrontation will occur. You'll hear the stories of being unloved and misunderstood. You'll be told that sex is non-existent in the life of the married but looking. Explanations of how testing the waters are important before an ultimate decision is made will flow. Poppycock! Now is the time to say a firm goodbye and boot the misunderstood tush to the curb. Change the locks and head out to discover the next gamer.
The Case of the Lookin' for Love Gamer
Most people in this world are looking for love unless they've all ready found it. You're probably looking for love and hoping to find it. FYI, most gamers are lookin' for love, all right, but not for a lifetime, not even for a week. They're lookin' for love tonight. This gamer will hang on your every word. Tell you how wonderful you are, notice the glint in your eyes, the way you move, sexy, like a sleek cat. A shower of praises will wash over you and you may find yourself basking in the sensual magnetism of the person sitting next to you. As much as we all love to be told how adorable we are, how well do you really know this person? Are you hearing cold hard facts? Are you being engaged in honest to goodness conversation about life? If the answer is no, you must scurry out the door and do not look back.
Case of the I'm Too Sexy for My Car Gamer
Yikes! Oozing sex from every pore in the body, this player is all about the me. Every sentence starts with "I" as the aloof sex god or goddess checks out their manicure, flipping hair and leaning over to reveal cleavage or a shirt unbuttoned to reveal more chest than necessary. This is a player that's always teasing but too high on a pedestal of their own making to actually be touched. Don't bother trying to discuss the headlines of the day; they only watch Style and E! to find out what the latest fashions are. When it's time to leave, a laugh escapes as they check themselves out in the window before sidling into a car that just isn't enough for them. The problem arises when you find yourself taken in by their very handsome beauty with thoughts like, "Wow this gorgeous man/woman finds ME interesting!" Stop! Look! Listen! Be certain before taking the next step that it's actual interest and not an ulterior motive that drives them toward you.
Case of the I'll Trample Your Heart Gamer
This is the absolute worst gamer of all. This one leads you into a sense of false security with promises and double talk. You sit enraptured as tales of romantic evenings to be waft your way from a silken tongue. It's always next week we'll… but when next weeks arrives a thousand excuses pour from the soul of this game player. At first, you believe because the sincerity and integrity displayed seems real. With soulful eyes and unwavering words this gamer fills your head with all the sweet nothings you've always wanted to hear. Knowing what to say, how to say it and when to say it is a pivotal part of the game plan. How could you not believe this trusting, compassionate person? Without warning it all comes to an end. Usually it's the gamer who moves on without a word or because the love is too great to stand. Hogwash and bullshit! The game ends for whatever reason, but the gamer comes out smelling like a rose and you're left holding the thorns of a stem that stabs right into the heart.
A few quick notes on how to break open the code in the first meeting:
1.If it's too good to be true, it probably isn't. If your first thoughts are "WOW" this is an amazing person who's unbelievably wonderful! You can bet your Jimmy Choos that you've been whipped into a frenzy by a master player. Stay awhile and find out more, but have the radar stoked and ready especially if your hearing all kinds of marvelous, out of the ordinary things like, "I've never met anyone quite like you" of course this is after an entire 5 minutes of sipping wine together.
2.Listen to your inner voice. It's a puzzle you can't quite solve; a nagging feeling that won't go away. If you just don't feel comfortable, make your excuses and walk away with haste.
3.Some game players are so obvious that for anyone to be fooled would be a ridiculous notion. No matter how charming, beautiful, or rich they appear to be, don't give in to the temptation that they might come around to asking about you. They probably won't.
4.If you find yourself doing all the giving and the other party the taking, hie ye out of the state your in immediately.
5.Stay out of the denial zone. You cannot deny what you see, hear, or feel nor can you change someone. Don't even go there.
6.If there is no intimacy in the relationship beyond sex, you're in a players clutches. They do know all the right things to say and they do have the moves down pat, but no one wants to be part of a couple that is actually something more… more people involved with the player.
The bottom line is that, sometimes, we allow ourselves to be taken in by people who are more into playing games than seeking out "the one". The gamer may play a cool, sweep you off your feet hand or the compassionate, I feel for the world game. There are as many tools in the gamer's toolbox as there are stars in the sky. Just don't let YOU be taken in the next time you're out playing the field.
2007 © Associated Content, All rights reserved.
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Are You Dating a Player?
Author: Cherie Burbach
Published: July 17, 2007
Before you fall too head over heals for your new love, you may want to first find out if they're going to be able to give you the kind of relationship you need.
If you feel they are a bit emotionally distant or perhaps even lying to you, take a look at the following signs to see if you may be dating a player.
You Feel Something Is Missing From Your Relationship
It seems that the two of you are happy together. You have a great time and he or she really makes you smile. But there’s just “something” about the situation that doesn’t meet your emotional needs. When you want to talk about your day they don’t care to hear it. When you bring up a genuine concern about your relationship they make a joke of it or simply brush it off. You don't suspect them of cheating, but still, there's something that's just not quite right.
They Have a Hard Time Making Plans
Your new partner may be great with last minute requests to see you, but when you try and pin them down for a future date, they balk. Players hate making plans because they feel something better may come along. They may hesitate to give you an answer until they get closer to the date and can safely say they have nothing better going on. Or, they simply refuse to commit and leave you hanging until the last possible minute. They may show up and save the day, or remain MIA and disappoint you.
Lots of People Seem to Know Them Well
Players leave a trail of people behind them. Sometimes these folks can’t get the hint and try and hook up with your partner again, or sometimes they’ve been burned so bad they immediately become angry upon seeing your partner. Your partner may fail to introduce these folks, but even if he or she does they may ignore you or treat you poorly. If your new love seems to know a lot of "friends," and they’re all of the opposite sex, take note.
You Don’t Share Major Life Moments
You suggest your partner accompany you to meet your cousins at the next family get-together, and they turn up their nose. You ask them to accompany you to a friend’s wedding, and they refuse or they go and behave bored or uninterested the entire night. It’s not only your special moments they don’t care to share, they also fail to let you in on their major life events. For example, they may fail to tell you they’ll be gone for a week on business or prefer to go to their parent’s anniversary party alone.
They Don’t Want to Talk About Your Relationship
Communication is key when you’re a couple. Plain and simple, you need to talk about things to work them out. When you’ve met the right one, you both want to work on the relationship. It doesn’t have to be as dramatic as having a knock down, drag out discussion, but you do have to talk on some level. Issues that remain silent grow over time, and if your significant other simply refuses to address the problems you two seem to have, it may be because they simply aren’t interested.
Simple, Kind Gestures All Seem to Come From You
Kindness goes a long way in a relationship. It’s the easy, thoughtful gestures that mean the most. Doing sweet little favors or buying small presents that mean a lot to your partner shows that you care about them and are paying attention. If you’re the only one that seems to be making dinner, giving small gifts, or remembering special moments you two have shared, it may be a sign that your partner is not as interested in you as you are in them.
You Have No Space in Their World
You have to carry a bag of your essentials around town because your partner has no extra room in their drawer for you. Or perhaps you want a key to your mate’s place to make it easier for you both to hook up, yet your partner balks at this idea. If your man or woman can’t make literal space in their life for you, it may mean they don’t have the emotional space for you either. Emotionally unavailable also means unable to commit. And why waste your time with that when there are so many great people in the world who would love to meet you.
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| Players! What is it like to play? C'mon be honest!
Posted: 12/14/2007 1:43:21 PM | | -eazk- and everyone else! yeah the guy i was with yes he was a low life lying scum! But i can tell you i was played! im not a silly little girl. This guy had no reason to llie to me. I never wanted to marry him or have his children.(i liked his company and enjoyed the passion) He lied to me to keep me where he wanted me, for as long as he wanted and needed me. i got sucked in to his world of playing....(These people are only as good as the people round about then, think they are!) THEY ARE REALLY ONLY SAD LOSERS. (HUGH HEF) in my eyes is a sad old perv...Its the girls around him that are players! he started play boy when it was a mans world.. sex sells and all that! changed days now!(jordan) aka katie price.... | |
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