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eazk
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Joined: 9/8/2006
Msg: 426 | |
| Players! What is it like to play? C'mon be honest!
Posted: 12/14/2007 2:01:55 PM | You cannot generalize the motivations of each and every individual. People change. Needs change. The single most important thing you can do is appreciate the good and forget about the bad...that's not saying you shouldn't learn from it, just quit wallowing in it and making it a campaign in your life.
As much as I hate to say it, there are probably guys that think you were playing them. You're attractive, good age, and if they started to converse and you turned them off...are you a player? Yes, it is matters of degrees, but in the end, we are all playing in the game. It is up to each of us to determine the rules, establish the field and play fairly to win. | |
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| Players! What is it like to play? C'mon be honest!
Posted: 12/14/2007 9:00:23 PM | Surprise, Surprise.....to you jokers and liars.....There are some people who do not lie or mislead people. People who are honest, upfront and treat others with respect. It just seems they are getting harder to find nowadays.
Lots have brain washed themselves, saying heck EVERYONE DOES IT, so that excuses my lying, cheating, adulators ars. That's just not true.
Seems some need to look in their own closets and do some house cleaning and quit making excuses for their behavior. If you have ever mislead someone, Allowed someone to think you think more of them than you do, as far as commitment, used someone for your benefit, deceitfully, taken advantage of someone through lies, then you need to look at your own morals and intregrety and quit saying, Hell if they had not been so gullible, it would not have happened to them.
If your living your life that way, be a big enough person to stand up and say.......I HAVE NO CONCIOUS, MORALS OR INTREGRETY........because some day, someone is going to call you on it and you will be the one paying for your past behavior.
It's not a pretty badge to be wearing or waving. It speaks of your lack of CHARACTOR. | |
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svj
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Joined: 9/15/2007
Msg: 429 | |
| Players! What is it like to play? C'mon be honest!
Posted: 12/20/2007 8:36:12 PM | ^^^ You know... for someone that's always going on about "honesty", I find it amusing that your profile says you're looking for "friends", but then go on to describe in your write up what you want in a "loving, complete relationship".
Seems a little "misleading", doesn't it? | |
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| Players! What is it like to play? C'mon be honest!
Posted: 12/20/2007 9:55:34 PM | ^^^^If you read my profile.....I clarified that in my last sentences......I said THAT WAS WHAT I WAS SEEKING, but have figured out, I'm most likely not going to find that on an Internet dating site.......but wish other luck in their search. Yes, my optimism with Internet dating has diminished. Guess it's the experiences I have had with it or the men I have had the occasion to cross paths with.......they certainly changed my mind.
I've been sexually attacked by a so called professional insurance company owner, womanizer.
I've been groped on a first date, by a loudly professed Christian.
I've been lied to and mislead by so called professional business men, too many to keep track of.
Chased by youngsters the age of my son.
Met my share of perverts, cyber sex addicts, Masters, homeless and unemployed men, looking for someone to put a roof over their head.
And approached by more married men than I care to recall and lied to by most of them concerning their marital status.
I'm in a holding pattern, trying to regain some faith in man kind at this time. Do you mind?????? | |
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| Players! What is it like to play? C'mon be honest!
Posted: 12/20/2007 10:11:28 PM | laughing....it was in the screening that the truth came to the surface. I did not say I was involved with any of these jokers. I just ask a lot of questions but the two slipped by because they were such masters at their game.
Don't get me wrong, I have met some great folks, guys and gals via the internet, just I'm not into women and the nice guys were younger than would be an acceptable relationship....for me that is. Or distance and life circumstances, did not allow the friend ship to develop beyond good friends.
I really don't think men realize how bad of examples, some men on the internet, set for your sex as a whole. You really have no concept. Decent guys don't think like some out here do and the bad apples make it hard for the decent guys. | |
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| Players! What is it like to play? C'mon be honest!
Posted: 12/20/2007 10:44:52 PM | I see it the other way around. A desirable, mature, masculine,
single, secure, successful man who "gets it", i.e. who has his life together
and moving forward has little competition and massive options.
He is far more rare than even the most beautiful woman. | |
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eazk
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Joined: 9/8/2006
Msg: 434 | |
| Players! What is it like to play? C'mon be honest!
Posted: 12/20/2007 10:55:57 PM |
I'm in a holding pattern, trying to regain some faith in man kind at this time. Do you mind?????? A holding pattern usually denotes ambivalence...you've got such an overt hatred of men it's beyond palpable. Are you sure you meant to join a dating site?
Listen...everybody plays...he11, you're playing with every word you speak. Does dumping the sins of your past mistakes on everybody else make you feel better? Are you a self-appointed cop? Whisper~, we get it...you've been burned several times...perhaps you're a magnet for them (some women are), perhaps you just don't know how to spot it and stop it.
The men who know what they're talking about have given the information as requested...sorry if it sucks from your perspective.
Don't hate the player.
Don't hate the game.
Just make a decision whether you're in or out.
Because the game is going to go on, whether you join or not.
So, if you want the company of a man, you need to learn to play the game.
And......you need to learn to play it to win what you are most interested in winning.
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| Players! What is it like to play? C'mon be honest!
Posted: 12/20/2007 11:17:48 PM |
you've been burned several times...perhaps you're a magnet for them (some women are), perhaps you just don't know how to spot it and stop it.
In truth, that happens. Women do seem to atract the same types of men because they refuse to learn from their mistakes and past patterns. They refuse to recognize their own failings and prefer to blame the men who pick up on them...
Back to the Predator / Prey analogy, they're the weaker ones in the herd.... Blaming the predators for being what nature made them.... | |
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svj
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Joined: 9/15/2007
Msg: 436 | |
| Players! What is it like to play? C'mon be honest!
Posted: 12/20/2007 11:51:39 PM | ^^^ You know... for someone that's always going on about "honesty", I find it amusing that your profile says you're looking for "friends", but then go on to describe in your write up what you want in a "loving, complete relationship". Seems a little "misleading", doesn't it? If you read my profile.....I clarified that in my last sentences......I said THAT WAS WHAT I WAS SEEKING, but have figured out, I'm most likely not going to find that on an Internet dating site.......but wish other luck in their search.
Gee... are you saying that it's possible that I was mis-interpreting the signals you were sending?
That you're not really trying to decieve or lie to me?
That the whole thing might be a result of miscommunication?
I guess it might not be all your fault after all.
Maybe my interpretations had something to do with creating my problem.
Maybe I was so busy making your words fit my own expectations, that I din't actually try to understand your point of view.
Maybe it's unfair of me to paint everyone who puts "Friends", but talks about her ideal relationship with the same brush.
Maybe everyone is different, and needs to be judged on their own merits and shortcomings.
^^ This little guy is a good friend of mine. His name is Deliciously Ironic Parallel. Say "hello." | |
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| Players! What is it like to play? C'mon be honest!
Posted: 12/21/2007 12:28:34 AM | svj......interpret it anyway you wish.....makes me no difference at all. I didn't invite you to look at my profile, so I could care less.
And no guys, like I said I've met some super nice folks on the internet, but in the beginning I do have to admit I was a bit naive. Contrary to what you imply, not everyone plays games with people. Some are stand up, honest people. What you see is what you get.
you've got such an overt hatred of men it's beyond palpable
Sorry to disagree with you..........it's just SOME TYPES OF MEN I DISLIKE......if you have noticed, I've never warmed up to you. 
Listen...everybody plays...he11, you're playing with every word you speak. Does dumping the sins of your past mistakes on everybody else make you feel better? Are you a self-appointed cop? Whisper~, we get it...you've been burned several times...perhaps you're a magnet for them (some women are), perhaps you just don't know how to spot it and stop it.
I don't agree with your statement......No not everyone plays games......I've been blessed to know some very honorable men in my life and I certainly set them apart from the gamers in respect. Just because I have been contacted by someone and I gave them the courtesy of getting to know them better does not make it a mistake or a sin, on my part.....thats what the getting to know you is all about, BUT when they show me who they truly are, those are the flags we all look for.
I've not been burned, disappointed yes, but not at my personal expense, just disappointed at the lack of level of decency today. Don't jump to conclusions in regard to things you don't know for fact.....I do know how to spot it and stop it......just very disappointed in the quality available in my age range.... | |
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| Players! What is it like to play? C'mon be honest!
Posted: 12/21/2007 8:09:12 AM |
I've not been burned, disappointed yes, but not at my personal expense, just disappointed at the lack of level of decency today. Don't jump to conclusions in regard to things you don't know for fact.....I do know how to spot it and stop it......just very disappointed in the quality available in my age range....
I call this back pedaling. | |
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| Players! What is it like to play? C'mon be honest!
Posted: 12/21/2007 8:47:25 AM |
not everyone plays games with people. Some are stand up, honest people. What you see is what you get.
At that, though, some women will still call men players, who are very open and honest about what they're looking for, what kind of relationship that will consider, and who are sincerely motivated to find a long term relationship. It's just that the men, who some women label as "player", aren't willing to enter a relationship on someone else's terms.
There are "players", and most people know what that means. As per usual, though, the fora isn't always consistent with the real world, and what most people "just know". What I've come to accept about this thread is that a "player" is any man, who is secure enough in himself, to have a clear idea of what he wants, confidence that he will find it, and is unwilling to enter into a relationship where the terms are dictated to him in a way that he surrenders all control of the relationship process to the woman's whims and notions, and he's "shallow", if he doesn't immediately enter into a "relationship process" with the first woman, who displays interest. Of course, he would be a "player" were he to exit such a relationship, prior to the woman's desire that he leave. Should she so desire, it would be entirely because of what's "wrong with him".
So, I accept that I'm both "shallow" and a "player", even though I am in a 24/7 relationship with someone I met on POF. | |
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svj
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Joined: 9/15/2007
Msg: 440 | |
| Players! What is it like to play? C'mon be honest!
Posted: 12/21/2007 9:02:12 AM | svj......interpret it anyway you wish.....makes me no difference at all. I didn't invite you to look at my profile, so I could care less.
I can see you don't speak the same language as my little friend "Deliciously Ironic Parallel".
Ah well... some things were never meant to be.
Melofelo: Although I don't accept that most people "just know" anything. I sure don't. Most people feel they "just know" what "unpatriotic" is. While everyone has a different definition of just what "unpatriotic" is, what they usually mean is "a political belief or action I don't approve of". Myself included, I assume.
With that said:What I've come to accept about this thread is that a "player" is any man, who is secure enough in himself, to have a clear idea of what he wants, confidence that he will find it, and is unwilling to enter into a relationship where the terms are dictated to him in a way that he surrenders all control of the relationship process to the woman's whims and notions, and he's "shallow", if he doesn't immediately enter into a "relationship process" with the first woman, who displays interest. Of course, he would be a "player" were he to exit such a relationship, prior to the woman's desire that he leave. Should she so desire, it would be entirely because of what's "wrong with him".
As it applies to women that whinge and complain that all they are surrounded by "players", and the only interest men have is the contents of their pants... I think that definition is balls-on accurate.
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| Players! What is it like to play? C'mon be honest!
Posted: 12/21/2007 12:18:05 PM | It could be sometimes when a woman "complains"
about overabundant hordes of nasty, classless, perverted
high status men who are only interested in one thing, and it's so
bad she's almost bigoted against men as a gender, then maybe she's
trying to covertly brag about her sexual attractiveness.
I do it myself, and it can be effective. That is, I often perceive a person
who brags about it as more attractive than a person who does not, but
I can equally well reframe it as she is not adept at identifying people
who subtract from her well being, and preventing them from coming
into her life on a regular basis. | |
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Savona
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Joined: 1/28/2007
Msg: 443 | |
| Players! What is it like to play? C'mon be honest!
Posted: 12/21/2007 2:16:55 PM | "What a load of crap."
A player is only a label put on someone that someone else just can't "catch". Everyone knows that.
Oh he/she is a player, what they are really saying is they are not interested enough in me to have a relationship with me.
Yes there are some who will play for the rest of their lives because they for some reason feel that they STILL haven met the one good or perfect enough for them ... even at 60 plus. But who cares.
The signs are there, yes they may bring you in, and you may think this man/woman is digging you, but soon they are evasive, or too busy what it really means is they have lost interest in you, and they just fade away. THEN when they have nothing going on they call you and with their sweet words from their fork tongue try to lure you back in. Just recognize it for what it is ...
They are bored, going back to someone they know likes them is easy and lazy. They just need the ego stroke to make sure they are still on the point.
Everyone is a player to someone they reject.
Thinking of people as players is just a bull crap term. He tried you, he asked you out then he decided for what ever reason nawww she isn't the one. I have lots of men friends who people say "What a Player" and they even call themselves players, but I have seen some of the biggest players fall ... fall in love then they aren't players anymore are they?
If some people are true players as some described here ......
Who cares ... they, just like the rest of us, will get old and wrinkled but they will do so alone.
But the rest of us on good old POF will be a sitting on our porches with all these great matches we met on line right?
.............. by the year 2025 the testimonial treads will be full up of all us happy couples. Hahaha
Savona | |
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| Players! What is it like to play? C'mon be honest!
Posted: 12/21/2007 8:23:53 PM |
A true player wouldn't be here on an internet dating site trolling the forums.
Ha. You would be in a bar by now? What if you get your chics not in bars but atheletic events. Which means you go to bed rather early. And are playing in the AM. Hmmm. There are many types, many places. Ha. | |
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Guess
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Joined: 10/2/2007
Msg: 446 | |
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| Players! What is it like to play? C'mon be honest!
Posted: 12/21/2007 11:55:32 PM |
A true player wouldn't be here on an internet dating site trolling the forums.
No, a True player knows that trying to pick some one up at this time of the year is not efficent. There aren't enough people in the bars tonight. Shopping night. tomorrow being Saturday, will be better.... | |
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| Players! What is it like to play? C'mon be honest!
Posted: 12/21/2007 11:57:29 PM |
Well it's a game that you can't win,so I wouldn't call it fun at all...
The game is always winnable. It;s just that it is a game where the rules change as you play. The losers are the ones who don't keep up with the changes. | |
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| Players! What is it like to play? C'mon be honest!
Posted: 12/22/2007 12:35:08 AM |
In truth, that happens. Women do seem to atract the same types of men because they refuse to learn from their mistakes and past patterns. They refuse to recognize their own failings and prefer to blame the men who pick up on them...
Back to the Predator / Prey analogy, they're the weaker ones in the herd.... Blaming the predators for being what nature made them....
So...what you you think of svj, then? Hmmm? C'mon. Shoot straight, because you see, I would probably go out with a guy like him. | |
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| Players! What is it like to play? C'mon be honest!
Posted: 12/22/2007 4:27:42 AM |
So...what you you think of svj, then? Hmmm? C'mon. Shoot straight, because you see, I would probably go out with a guy like him.
Well, good luck with that. You probably would have a great time. His profile is offbeat enough to probably be worth your checking out. Beyond that, it's up to the two of you to determine which of you is predator, and which is prey.
As for what he writes in his forum posts being an indicator of such, then I'm afraid I cannot help you. In truth we can all write what we please here, as so little rides upon it. | |
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