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| Players! What is it like to play? C'mon be honest!
Posted: 10/18/2007 8:56:21 PM | What's it like to play? C'mon, be honest!
> I knew before I saw the photograph of the person who posted this topic that it would be a woman addressing men. After all, there are no female players, only males.
> Why don't you concentrate on your life, instead of fishing for players, whatever they are? As long as you are not such a creature, surely that's all that matters?
> Raise your consciousness, why don't you?
> Best wishes from Peter. | |
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| Players! What is it like to play? C'mon be honest!
Posted: 10/18/2007 11:14:38 PM | To Soul Union......sigh...such a vitriolic reply coated with a thin veneer of sugar. I guess you have had your bad experiences, eh?
Honey, I am concentrating on my life...and I love to ask questions! If that bothers you, then don't read mine or anyone else's threads. A person living their life doesn't really care what other people are doing...unless they have a question! This happens to be mine because I am new on here and I had so many of my g-friends tell me to watch out for the players...so I asked the forum"what they did and why". So...you mind your own business, sweetie, alright? | |
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| Players! What is it like to play? C'mon be honest!
Posted: 10/18/2007 11:33:31 PM | I do not think that "Players" is a POFers' or an online dating thing! They have always existed offline, for "ages".
And of course there are many different kinds of Players, of both sexes, playing different "games". Some "play the dating/rels game" for capital (golddiggers), some for sex, some for power over other human(s), some to get a rel, some for commitment or security, etc. | |
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| Players! What is it like to play? C'mon be honest!
Posted: 10/19/2007 12:23:01 AM | Disclaimer: this is purely speculation.
Players do what they do because they can, and because it's what they want. Face it, wouldn't you love to be able to snap your fingers and make the opposite sex fall at your feet? To be able to have nearly anyone you fancied with a few well-chosen words?
I know I would.
When all's said and done, players obviously get more attention, affection, and yes, sex, than the average guy. Otherwise, we wouldn't have so many 'nice guy' threads competing with the 'I was the victim of a player!' threads. Attention, affection, and sex, is very good to have. So they do what gets it. Being a 'nice guy' (in the common perception) doesn't seem to work for a lot of people. So some of them do what does... and that is, figure out what women *do* respond to, and manipulate it to their own ends.
Is, ultimately, being in a fulfilling long-term better, in the long run?
Yea. Great work, if you can get it. Shame it's such an elusive thing. | |
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| Players! What is it like to play? C'mon be honest!
Posted: 10/19/2007 12:32:47 AM | Shortly after I got on the Internet dating sites, I had a guy on here share with me, that his son told him, he got more free sex off the Internet dating sites that he ever did in a bar. I've never forgotten his words and for the most part....what I've found, has been guys looking for that gullible women, who believes their word spin and guys who are looking to score. Notice I did not refer to them as MEN.
That is why....I've quit looking on the Internet for any thing of quality and am only here for the forums. Doesn't mean if I happen to stumble across that one gem, in the bunch of rocks, that I wont give him a second look, but I don't believe anything I hear and only half of what I see. | |
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| Players! What is it like to play? C'mon be honest!
Posted: 10/19/2007 1:07:06 AM | Daisypetals1:
. . . because I am new on here and I had so many of my g-friends tell me to watch out for the players.
> Of course you must do what your girlfriends tell you.
> Best wishes - Peter. | |
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| Players! What is it like to play? C'mon be honest!
Posted: 10/19/2007 1:26:29 AM | "I had a guy on here share with me, that his son told him, he got more free sex off the Internet dating sites that he ever did in a bar."
When drawing conclusions, it is important to be precise:
The SON told him that the SON got more free sex ..... etc etc
The SON, not "The Guy". His son!
Thus....? What does that say?
-------------------------------------------------------
Plus the good old Fleetwood Mac song that "Players only love you when they are playing" was written and sung wayyyyyyyyyyyy before online dating existed. Thus playing is not an online dating phenomenon.
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| Players! What is it like to play? C'mon be honest!
Posted: 10/19/2007 2:17:39 AM |
A true player wouldn't be wasting his time on the forums - they're out there playing in the real world.
I agree. I think you'll find those types of people would not bother with forums. People that come on here to write on the forums are expressive, a player isnt. To be expressive takes feeling! Also a player would run a mile if he saw all the player threads!! It would be too close to home for them!!  | |
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| Players! What is it like to play? C'mon be honest!
Posted: 10/19/2007 3:14:57 AM | A player does not have or how feelings/emotions?
And
A player would not waste his time with the forums?
Darn, that means I am NOT a Player? Darn? What am I then? I am having an identity crisis! What am I? "Expressive"? An "E-Playboy"? A Casanova? A Don Chihote? Where are the wndmills?
I need to go see a therapist or some kinda other expert or analyst to tell me "what" I am? Maybe lost or a loser???
 Hm, maybe a lobbyist/activist for the Players' Association? "Thank you for Playing?" Rien ne va plus? | |
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| Players! What is it like to play? C'mon be honest!
Posted: 10/19/2007 6:32:50 AM | Define player.
men and women are players. I personally think women 'play' more often.
A male who knows how to treat a lady, or knows how to give her what she really wants is a player?
A male who approaches more than one woman is a player?
What do you call a male if he just sits there and lets multiple women come to him buying him drinks all night long? you call that a woman ; ) | |
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| Players! What is it like to play? C'mon be honest!
Posted: 10/19/2007 6:36:21 AM | 1st off a player is never going to give his/her game away. That's sorta how they make their r'aison d'etre!. Does a magician give away his /her skills, does a card shark, show you his/her game,....? Even IF a player were to respond they'd be sooooo very good that you wouldn't know they were playing you and/or giving an admission of being.
2nd I think the word player fantasizes and misplaces them higher on the food chain or more exulted than they actually are, perhaps if it was horribly important they could be termed predators because that is what they are. Start referring to them as predators (all kinds) and they are demystified.
In history there have always been "gay blades" (the word gay was used for centuries and applied to heterosexuals long before it was appropriated by people of a sexuality.,
"cassanovas", now a days the word is "player". Its a general word that is non specific, it escapes accurate definition in this dimension. It EXISTS! simply said and knows no gender.
People who say they are players are not. They are just playing around and tooting their horns. Players keep their own being. | |
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| Players! What is it like to play? C'mon be honest!
Posted: 10/19/2007 7:58:38 AM | Its not as much fun as you think, we have to keep all the names straight...I just call them all cowboy, You have to remember all the little trivia facts about each one of them, A tedious task, cause honestly I just didn't care enough to listen when they told me. You have to learn to juggle, and stay away from the ones that want more than just one night a week....ughhh its exhausting, someone needs to write a book to all the people getting played, so that they will understand the rules better. I think we should have them sign a contract in the beginning terminating the agreement if they step out of their place.
Ok so I am totally kidding about this, but I swear I know a man that actually thinks like this....he is sitting here cracking up, because he knows I am right...lol, hope I didnt give to much away for all you players out there.... | |
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| Players! What is it like to play? C'mon be honest!
Posted: 10/19/2007 8:01:22 AM | My interpretation of a player:
Someone who manipulates another to obtain sex as and when they feel, but giving the other party the impression they want more than a sexual fling, when in fact they only want the thrill of the chase - the prize. | |
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| Players! What is it like to play? C'mon be honest!
Posted: 10/19/2007 8:49:26 AM |
Plus the good old Fleetwood Mac song that "Players only love you when they are playing" was written and sung wayyyyyyyyyyyy before online dating existed. Thus playing is not an online dating phenomenon.
Funny thing, I think this every time I hear this song. So true! I'm falling off my dinosaur.  | |
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| Players! What is it like to play? C'mon be honest!
Posted: 10/19/2007 9:39:33 AM | satisfaction?
Ladies first for satisfaction.. then it's my turn.
fun and games?
I enjoy both fun and games!
ego? vanity?
Mine's rock solid and I enjoy mirrors.
attention?
Female attention.
fantasy?
Running out of them.
revenge?
Best served cold.
emotional connections?
Emotions are for women.
How do you deal with the "difficult" ones that you landed?
Changed my cell number and got a restraining order, demanded a paternity test.
How do fare in the "meetings" for coffee, drinks, meals etc.?
I give myself a B+ | |
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| Players! What is it like to play? C'mon be honest!
Posted: 10/19/2007 9:44:56 AM | Your error, OPie, is believing there are "kinds" of people. "Player" is a word used as an insult by one person about another, like "slut," "son-of-a-****," "cracker," "faggot," and "fascist." It is the rarest person who calls him/herself any of these things, or even thinks of him/herself in any of these terms. It's always some beady-eyed sourpuss in the corner.
I'm not even sure all the time what people mean when they sling the word 'player' around. It seems that, for some, it means a sexual predator, someone who lies, bullies, and likkers up one nameless victim after another. Fine.
But, to others, player seems to mean anyone who wants to have a bit of all right without negotiating the rest of his/her life. Sex as celebration, stress relief, or uncomplicated fun. These folks are called players, of course, by those unhappy souls who want to live in a world where everyone is like them and only wants what they want. Unhappy souls who, in my long experience, usually have a sackful of labels and insults for all kinds of people, souls who habitually disapprove of most anything they find unfamiliar or troubling.
Me? I have capped an evening or two with a beautiful stranger. Those nights, you would have called me a player to anyone who would listen to you. I have also been in long, stable, committed relationships. You would have nodded your head in approval, no doubt. Maybe even asked me, "How do I find a guy like you?" One of those long, stable, committed relationships was a successfully open relationship. I can't even imagine the names you would have called me then!
So, c'mon, OPie. Grow up a little. All kinds of people have all kinds of preferences at different points in their lives. And not one single solitary one really cares what names you call them. They aren't going to take life advice from a scorekeeping killjoy. Just relax, and come get what you want.
Cheers!
Vulf  | |
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| Players! What is it like to play? C'mon be honest!
Posted: 10/19/2007 10:14:02 AM | | GOSH this is the 2nd thread in a row that I'm throwing a fit! People who gender bash are the lowest of all ignorant people. This is NOT A GENDER ISSUE and any female who puts that opinion out there shows their lack of insight into the world and there is one word for that IGNORANT! Polease not all "players" are men. I wonder if men would ever 'hit' on someone so negative about men. But perhaps you are not interested in men or giving them a break. Judge people how they treat you BUT don't judge because of their gender. | |
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| Players! What is it like to play? C'mon be honest!
Posted: 10/19/2007 10:28:50 AM | I will play until I find the right one, I guess I 'm what you would call a successful player, I date, no commitments, we have fun, if that includes sex along with all the other things people do when they date so be it. You would be surprised at just how many women like an (honest) player. I get recalls constantly...now ladies "am I just playing with you?", it's all good, I never sleep with the enemy...really I'm a nice guy, maybe In all honesty I don't play games ,I will tell you exactly what I'm looking for...so let the games begin....
So after a several dates and no sex...we come to a conclusion that we are just not compatible...who ends up being called the player, usually the guy, why! who the hell knows... | |
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| Players! What is it like to play? C'mon be honest!
Posted: 10/19/2007 10:45:25 AM | | Daisy........A player is all the things you listed. A player is like a cat with the mouse. The cat will play with, tantalize, tease, and torture the mouse, until she gets tired of it. Then will dispatch it without caring or feeling. A lot of players, will do their thing due to past relationships. The revenge factor is a driving force. The have not allowed the past baggage to be left, and forgotten about. | |
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| Players! What is it like to play? C'mon be honest!
Posted: 10/19/2007 11:00:14 AM | Nick...."When drawing conclusions, it is important to be precise:
The SON told him that the SON got more free sex ..... etc etc
The SON, not "The Guy". His son! "
It just points out there are more people in his sons age group, into casual sex and gullible to the lines men spin, than there are us old farts.... Also I would think it would depend if one lives in a metropolitan area or the sticks... The son lived in New York state, was in his late 30's and the old man was 65 and lived in Georgia in a small town. But I've no doubt....the old man has had his share of "no ties" sexual encounters also. lol
Stop and think about it.....what investment, other than time, does one have in spinning the silver threads on the Internet, to several at one time, as apposed to giving your attention just to one women in a bar, hoping to score and buying her drinks all night? From an economical point of view, the Internet offers a much larger return for your time and money investment. | |
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| Players! What is it like to play? C'mon be honest!
Posted: 10/19/2007 11:23:00 AM | gtadaizee..."This is NOT A GENDER ISSUE and any female who puts that opinion out there shows their lack of insight into the world and there is one word for that IGNORANT! "
Whooooooooooo, cool down, don't have a spasm.......we each just speak from our personal experience....Men will relate tales of women players/predators and women will speak regarding experience from men players/predators.....we all recognize it works both ways....that's a given, doesn't have to be spelled out......just common sense. No one is gender bashing. My experience has just been with the male gamers....but then I don't swing both ways, so cant speak of any experience with my sex.
I can relate a story that I knew personal information regarding. There was a good looking gal in our community....her game was to get guys to fall in love with her and want a full time relationship with her. One of her demands was that they have a vasectomy before she would consider that. After they got snipped with the knife....she dumped them and moved to her next victim.....She really did have a bitter attitude regarding men who made babies and walked away from the responsibilities involved. So all single men become her target/game/play.
And to the above poster that pointed out....yes PREDITOR IS A BETTER DEFINATION/WORD.
Games are fine, everyone loves them, we are all competitive. What makes the difference, IMO, is when the one playing the game, knows the rules and doesn't enlighten the one they pick for the gaming partner. | |
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| Players! What is it like to play? C'mon be honest!
Posted: 10/19/2007 11:32:01 AM |
Stop and think about it.....what investment, other than time, does one have in spinning the silver threads on the Internet, to several at one time, as apposed to giving your attention just to one women in a bar, hoping to score and buying her drinks all night? From an economical point of view, the Internet offers a much larger return for your time and money investment.
For me, it's been the opposite. When I go to a bar, women are willing to talk to me. Here? Not so much.
Regardless... last year when I first moved to California I got heavily into trying to meet people. Somehow the floodgates opened and I was suddenly dating six women at once. I literally had to write down who I was hanging out with and when, and juggle my hours on the weekends so I could fit them all in.
Does that make me a player? I never slept with any of them, and although I didn't tell any of them I was seeing other people, I would have admitted it if I was asked. Did just that, in fact, when one girl wanted to know my 'status'. 'course by then, I was down to two, but whatever.
I wasn't emotionally investing myself in these people. I just wanted to go out, spend some time in the company of fun, attractive people, and enjoy myself. No worrying about where it would lead, whether she was the marrying kind, none of that... just an evening out.
There are two key factors, I think, to being a player. A lack of emotional investment in the women you're seeing (it's just a 'game', after all) and manipulating them to get what you want. In most cases, that would be sex.
I don't do that... I was never anything but truthful and up-front about my intentions. That's probably why I haven't gotten laid in close to three years.  | |
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| Players! What is it like to play? C'mon be honest!
Posted: 10/19/2007 11:47:56 AM | Personally, in my opinion, making friends and spending time with many does not fall into the category of player/gamer.....it's just as you explained, spending time with people you enjoy, get to know them and building friendships with special people, male or female.
It's when you start taking advantage of that friendship, using that person, making promises you have no intention of fulfilling or using your knowledge of them to enhance yourself or fill your needs......that it crosses the border between an honest person and a dishonest person.....an acquaintance and a gamer/player/predator.
It's when and if you would tell someone something that would cause them to make a decision based on what you have lead them to believe are your true intentions and afford you something other than they would give freely.....based on truthfulness on your part. It's called........taking advantage of people. | |
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