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| Players! What is it like to play? C'mon be honest!
Posted: 10/19/2007 2:14:50 PM | Shssssssssssssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. Everybody be vewy vewy quiet. If you don't make a sound, then people posting any more "player" threads will think nobody's here.
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| Players! What is it like to play? C'mon be honest!
Posted: 10/19/2007 2:33:58 PM | I wasnt gonna post but i read what hevyweight wrote and i got mad lol
( A player feels no emotions?)
Ok i'll come clean and say im a player in everyones elses eyes!
Not really in mine tho!
I date numerous men at the same time.
Im not talkin bout sleepin with them , i dont.
However i do date as many as i like.
2 men at once, 2 dates in day watever. I dont profess love and i dont say your my only one neither , i just say nothin.
Its not lying cos it hasnt been spoken bout though i guess it is deceitful.
It is Difficult because if u get found out (and i have been ) in looks bad.
Its difficult cos at what point do u stop datin and just date one lol ive not worked that out and do u fess up after ??
Why do i do it?
For fun, go to great places, get spoilt and i dont get attached.
Yes ive been hurt and at 33 i cant be bothered to get serious, tho in another way i would like to..
Im not only woman like this, my mates are all the same.
Go for it tear a strip off me , but at least im honest bout who i am lol x | |
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| Players! What is it like to play? C'mon be honest!
Posted: 10/19/2007 2:38:15 PM | xfox says:
I date numerous men at the same time.
Im not talkin bout sleepin with them , i dont.
You don't sleep with them? You're no playa baby. Now let me ask you something. Do they pay for everything? Or do you pay your way? | |
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| Players! What is it like to play? C'mon be honest!
Posted: 10/19/2007 2:50:49 PM | Now let me ask you something. Do they pay for everything? Or do you pay your way?
She answered that here;
For fun, go to great places, get spoilt and i dont get attached.
I'll withhold my opinion of what that makes her instead of a player. After all, if you can't say anything nice... | |
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| Players! What is it like to play? C'mon be honest!
Posted: 10/19/2007 5:17:33 PM | wonka my name is foxy not she, for starters if u meant me.
As for you takin what i said out of context by copyin part of what i said to answer a question someone asked ME i'll answer that myself thankyou.
I do pay my way yes, when i say spoilt yeah occasionally happens when u meet say an older guy or someone with more money than me tho if i didnt like them i wouldnt date them just for financial reasons.
Ive never done that as that would basicaly mean im one step of sellin myself.
I do stress i date multiple men not sleep with them if a relatioship gets intimiate then i date no one else.
I dont see it as playing.
In my eyes im single the guy is single and it cuts both ways.
Its bout perception of the player , its everyone else that judges.
Most people say players are this that and the other etc but u dont know how they see things, how far they go.
You dont know how they feel or anythin.
To say all players are negative things shows ignorance.
What u see as a player i may not and vice versa.
My mum in todays day and age would have been called a player before she was married.
She dated a different guy every night.
Was a virgin till her wedding night with my dad and was married over 30 years till he died.
People today would see her with different guys and call her.
So my mum a player i dont think so but she had a dam good time and that was of the day men were expected to open doors and buy dinner!
Actually now i c where i get it from lmfao! | |
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| Players! What is it like to play? C'mon be honest!
Posted: 10/19/2007 5:34:44 PM | Scuse me wonka just been lookin through this post and u do/did exactly wat i do yet u judge me?
Double standards isnt it or are u mad and forgotten wat u wrote wow no wonder women on here dont speak to u ! Thats unbelievable and i wasted my time writin out a post defendin myself!
Exists post lol | |
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| Players! What is it like to play? C'mon be honest!
Posted: 10/19/2007 5:45:54 PM | | you dont have to defend yourself girl that person is just jeolous probaly, if you want to be a player, all the power to ya i used to be a player and i am thinkin about doing it again why everyone? because its fun yo | |
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| Players! What is it like to play? C'mon be honest!
Posted: 10/19/2007 5:52:20 PM | Sigh.
wonka my name is foxy not she, for starters if u meant me.
My apologies, your highness. I had no idea you were above pronouns. It was obvious who I was referring to given the quote. But if you feel like playing that game, my name is WonkaBar. You forgot a few letters.
As for you takin what i said out of context by copyin part of what i said to answer a question someone asked ME i'll answer that myself thankyou.
"Being spoiled" is commonly inferred to mean that you will have your way paid. Hence my understanding that you had already answered the other poster's question and my attempt to be helpful by pointing it out. I have never met a woman that didn't include some form of monetary connotation into that terminology... so if you are truly a unique and beautiful snowflake in this regard, consider me corrected, and my hat's off to you.
Oh, but wait! What's this?
I do pay my way yes, when i say spoilt yeah occasionally happens when u meet say an older guy or someone with more money than me tho if i didnt like them i wouldnt date them just for financial reasons.
Zing.
Scuse me wonka just been lookin through this post and u do/did exactly wat i do yet u judge me?
I did no such thing. The difference between hanging out with someone who's company you enjoy with no expectations and going out with someone expecting to be "spoiled" is a big difference in my eyes. The first is mutual. The second is selfish and one-sided. If you can't see the difference, I'm sorry.
Double standards isnt it or are u mad and forgotten wat u wrote wow no wonder women on here dont speak to u !
Hey wow, that's the third ad-hominem attack in a row. (For those of you in the cheap seats, she told me to "stick it" and a few other things before deleting it.) About double standards, see above. I'll ignore the rest.
Thats unbelievable and i wasted my time writin out a post defendin myself!
You did it because I struck a nerve, and because you care what I think about you. If you didn't, you wouldn't have viciously defended your behavior to some random internet stranger you'll never meet.
And now, let's get back on topic. How 'bout them players, folks? | |
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| Players! What is it like to play? C'mon be honest!
Posted: 10/19/2007 6:08:25 PM | Hi..
A player is a married man or a man who want a one night stand..Fantasy ...don't we woman have them as well ...but not the same as man...man can do what ever they want and woman can't..I have been alone for 9 yrs and played the game my way the real man will love it and will be back ..they love the passion and some what the passion and can't give it ...it got lose with them doing it themself (lol) if you know what I mean ... they do do everyday..and with a real woman it don't happen ...so they run ...but others will play there game ... and give woman what they need ..Be what you want to be, a real woman ..Feel the passion ...you only live onces. A grate lover of mine once told me !!!!!A man it to take care of a woman ...in every way ...before he can be taken care of ...and he is right ...He was the love of my life and he died ...I I will be looking for that man again .
PandoraJR | |
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| Players! What is it like to play? C'mon be honest!
Posted: 10/19/2007 6:26:04 PM | Yes!! fjield!
You were one...and now you want to start again because it was fun.
Now that you have been very brave and came on here, let us know some of your story.
We cannot be judgemental. I respect that you spoke up. I respect you more than the ones out there who are too scared to tell all.
Ladies and Gentlemen! One thing, we are all human with human failings. If we were perfect, then we'd be angels...and not living on earth trying to find "The One!"
Even players have been known to fall...and they can fall hard. Someone broke through that hard barrier they had developed and took them out at the knees. | |
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| Players! What is it like to play? C'mon be honest!
Posted: 10/19/2007 6:33:34 PM | zzzz wonka some people are rather full of themselves and quite frankly u have too much time on your hands!
For u 2 put all that shows u care wat i said or are u one of them people that has to be right at any cost?
Please dont think i care wat u think, i seriously couldnt care less.
I merely added to a post virtually with same story as u and u didnt like what i said. Fine u dont have to.
I guess you said what u said to big yaself up and to lure people into revealin about themselves and then havin a go at them.
Yep strange people exist.
Im sure with that personality, thats nasty and condescendin you really are lyin and livin a double life.
Quite well observered i deleted my own post i said exactly wat i thought of u and your views and u aint worth a lifelong ban for my freedom of speech on u!
People dont need me to tear you to shreds they only have to read what you write and make there own judgement! | |
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| Players! What is it like to play? C'mon be honest!
Posted: 10/19/2007 6:41:19 PM | Pure and simple, when I've been a "player",it's in response to a woman playing games early on. I start out with a sincere interest, but if she plays "hard to get", it pretty much is the end of any sincere intentions. The first hesitation to an invitation to meet, and it no longer really matters. If we stay in touch, my interest is to see what happens, without much caring how it turns out. If we meet, and there isn't an undeniable mutual desire, then I no longer really care.
I've never played with the feelings of a woman who is straightforward, really interested, and willing to act on her interest in meaningful ways. That doesn't mean that things always work out, but it's sincere, not a game. | |
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| Players! What is it like to play? C'mon be honest!
Posted: 10/19/2007 6:57:21 PM | ^^^^^^^^^^^
Dear melofelo, I've respected many of your opinions in other forums, but for now you must be referring to online relationships, and in that case, we ladies have a lot to be concerned about. Perhaps you should go a little lighter on those who don't jump at the chance to meet you, for all they know you could be a serial killer.
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And now, for my personal take on players...
For starters, not everyone can play...
Maybe for boys it's just about getting a bit of strange, but this is how I 'imagine' it...
First of all, there's this incredible sexual rush of being in demand, the awareness and appreciation of your ability to attract. Next, it's the beauty of choice...so many flowers... Each an individual in their own right with so many wonderful things to offer, where you're not in this life and death situation with someone who may or may not treat you well, if they don't, then, so long, I'll still have my warm embrace. It's the freedom of not being carved into just one paradigm, and the ability to view potential mates objectively. For some (let me emphasize, NOT ME, I'm an only child who loves her solitude), it's freedom from being alone.
What do you think? | |
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| Players! What is it like to play? C'mon be honest!
Posted: 10/19/2007 7:10:38 PM |
there's this incredible sexual rush of being in demand, the awareness and appreciation of your ability to attract. Next, it's the beauty of choice...so many flowers... Each an individual in their own right with so many wonderful things to offer, where you're not in this life and death situation with someone who may or may not treat you well, if they don't then, so long, I'll still have my warm embrace. It's the freedom of not being carved into just one paradigm, and the ability to view potential mates objectively
You're right, of course, and when "players" play, then the game is afoot. If a woman is into "mass approval" by a bunch of men, that's fine. I've "played", but I've also been working on "other options" as well. The "game" then is to "imply" without saying, that I'm "overwhelmed' with her "many charms", but when it's with a woman like that, there could be 3 or 4 others who are just as "overwhelming".
A woman who is playing it straight, with a focus on exploring things with just me, to see where it might go, gets the same in return. A woman who views me as "one option" of several, likewise, will get the same from me.
It's moot for me now, because I'm in a serious relationship, but I know how i've always been, and when a woman has accused me of being a player, it's always been because she tried to play me first, but then got serious, when for me, once it's a "game" of "hard to get", it's the "getting" that's the "prize", not a real relationship. | |
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| Players! What is it like to play? C'mon be honest!
Posted: 10/19/2007 7:58:52 PM | A woman who is playing it straight, with a focus on exploring things with just me, to see where it might go, gets the same in return. A woman who views me as "one option" of several, likewise, will get the same from me.
But, how can you decipher these attributes online? | |
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| Players! What is it like to play? C'mon be honest!
Posted: 10/19/2007 8:04:55 PM |
A woman who is playing it straight, with a focus on exploring things with just me, to see where it might go, gets the same in return. A woman who views me as "one option" of several, likewise, will get the same from me.
But, how can you decipher that online?
It's hard to describe, as many things are, those things that are pretty intuitive as they happen. I don't think it's that tough to sense "walls" and "barriers", or "hesitation" or "caution" online. That's not to say I've never gotten it wrong, but I'm not likely to "play' someone, unless I'm sure it's a game. .
What I think almost everyone can tell is if it's mutually irresistable in a way that feels urgent. If it's not, then it's not going to be what I was really looking for anyway. So, if I just "sense" a lack of intensity in her interest, but I'm not sure if she's just "playing hard to get", I'm far more likely to just disappear | |
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| Players! What is it like to play? C'mon be honest!
Posted: 10/19/2007 8:12:26 PM |
Dear melofelo, I've respected many of your opinions in other forums, but for now you must be referring to online relationships, and in that case, we ladies have a lot to be concerned about. Perhaps you should go a little lighter on those who don't jump at the chance to meet you, for all they know you could be a serial killer.
I missed this part of your post earlier, escapedydal. Real life meetings at the beginning, like grocery store "let's meet after work for a drink", have a different dynamic. This is a site for online dating, so that's what I was referring to. The point is, though, that when I was looking, it was with the intention of dating in real life, or else it would be pointless. I have zero interest in having a "virtual relationship"
I find no fault in those who aren't "into" me, for whatever reason. I was merely stating how it is for me. If there is no "urgency" for her about meeting, then, to me, it's a waste of time. There are always "reasons" to be "cautious". I don't criticize anyone for having fears. I'm merely not going to let someone else's fears keep me trapped in a pointless online "thing".
If it's real, it's in real life, and if it's not in real life, it's not real, and if you haven't met in person before 6 weeks, you never will. | |
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| Players! What is it like to play? C'mon be honest!
Posted: 10/19/2007 8:47:22 PM |
zzzz wonka some people are rather full of themselves and quite frankly u have too much time on your hands!
No, it just means I type really fast. Accurately, too.
For u 2 put all that shows u care wat i said or are u one of them people that has to be right at any cost?
I occasionally like to indulge people who fly off the handle and assume I offended them by explaining that I didn't quite say what they think I said. You're incredibly worked up over something I didn't even really say. All I said was, I have a negative opinion of people who feel that they should be spoiled. You're ranting and raving as though I called you a prostitute.
Please dont think i care wat u think, i seriously couldnt care less.
I have two posts on the subject... one of them clarifying my original point, which you misunderstood. You have four, including one very insulting one that you deleted. So yea, you care what I think or else you wouldn't feel the need to keep telling me that you don't. Methinks thou protest too much.
People dont need me to tear you to shreds they only have to read what you write and make there own judgement!
Indeed. People don't need you to keep flipping out over some imagined slight. So kindly stop doing it.
Now. On to the topic.
There is a difference, I think, between playing an activity and playing a person. Some people aren't serious, and intentionally (or not) stringing other people along for their own amusement. If *everyone is on the same page*, then no one is getting played. If one person thinks more is coming out of it than the other does, then that's a problem.
In my case, these ladies knew that I wasn't serious, and wasn't "counting on" anything. I was hanging out with them because I liked them, not because I was hoping for something to develop. If it did, great - but I wasn't pushing for it. If I'd said "I'm looking for an eventual wife", and then withdrew that, that's playing.
Recently, I met a young lady who replied to my ad who was all for finding out all about me until she saw my picture. Then, all of a sudden, she wasn't interested in dating - she was somehow still 'in love' with her ex. But she still wanted to meet, still insisted on hanging out with me almost nightly, kept fishing for compliments, wanting me to tell her she wasn't fat, that she was hot, yadda yadda yadda - then pushing me away on the rare occasions I'd comply with a "we're just friends".
This, I feel, is also a form of playing - or at least it would have been, if I took her seriously (or paid her way. I told her flat-out "when you're my girlfriend, I'll buy you dinner.") - but I didn't. She was fun to have keep me company, so I let her. That, I think, is in line with melo's opinion. Her "I don't want to date" ruse was pretty transparent... she wanted validation and to have a guy fawn all over her without giving anything back (or basically wanted an easy out so she didn't have to tell me I didn't float her boat). Drove her nuts when I wouldn't do it, either.
Anyway, she was essentially saying one thing and doing another. Not taking my feelings (if I'd had any for her) seriously. That's playing games - and she did it because she was insecure and wanted to feel special after her fiance had dumped her. She just didn't care how it affected the guy on the other end in the process. | |
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| Players! What is it like to play? C'mon be honest!
Posted: 10/19/2007 11:13:19 PM | ecapydal...."But, how can you decipher these attributes online? "
Some men/ women only look for the women/men they can influence, dominate, control and manipulate, who will stroke their ego and not question anything that comes out of their mouths.
The ones who will build their ego and stroke their over inflated self importance. If they feel any resistance to that influence...they can label them a mind or game player and justify their moving on...to their next attempt to find their "victim".......it's that simple.
They want someone who thinks they are as great, as they think they are and someone who is self evaluating of a given situation, would not fit into their future plans.....of control. JMO | |
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| Players! What is it like to play? C'mon be honest!
Posted: 10/20/2007 12:49:06 AM |
she wanted validation and to have a guy fawn all over her without giving anything back (or basically wanted an easy out so she didn't have to tell me I didn't float her boat). Drove her nuts when I wouldn't do it, either.
Anyway, she was essentially saying one thing and doing another. Not taking my feelings (if I'd had any for her) seriously. That's playing games - and she did it because she was insecure and wanted to feel special after her fiance had dumped her. She just didn't care how it affected the guy on the other end in the process.
I've been roundly criticized by some in the fora for this, but this is a classic example of why the sexual question needs to be resolved very early in a relationship. Either you're sleeping together, or you're not. If you aren't, then it isn't a romantic relationship. If you are, then it is, in the most foundational way, and may become one, as she works through her issues about her old relationship. If she's just using you for emotional support, without it being a sexual connection, she's made you into one of her "girlfriends". | |
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| Players! What is it like to play? C'mon be honest!
Posted: 10/20/2007 12:56:03 AM | | I agree with Melo's opin on how he treats player women and that it is a woman who dicates how a man treats her (sincerely or as a player). But indeed, I did that in offline dating. In the online dating world, that sincerity is harder to validate or not. Plus what the benefit of online games? Would rather play a video game and have not played them for a while (a few year now actually). | |
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