| Loneliness
Posted: 2/6/2008 10:19:55 PM | The way I see it, the older I get, the less chances I'll have... Things aren't the same as they were 4 years ago; everything is getting worse and worse, as most people my age are either already in a long term relationship or married (either that or they have baggage, which I really don't want to deal with or they don't want to deal with me).
I don't think I'm losing hope, but instead losing patience... I always have my hopes up, but I never do seem to get any results... | |
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| Loneliness
Posted: 2/7/2008 4:45:48 AM | Alot of great stuff on this thread ,loved what LIONESS said sooo from the heart and true!!but I dont have that long to get it togther Ill need the "HEAL From a Broken Heart STOP being Lonely" for dummies ...... I also wanted to say coming from a family of six to me and the poodle was a tough adjustment..sometimes I love my time alone others I want to cry and feel sorry for myself,its a balance..I have to get out more but I have my own answers...dont we all?!?!? keep  Lifes' Good!! | |
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| Loneliness
Posted: 2/7/2008 5:09:03 PM | Edge...you are only 24....it's hard at any age today....
I used to be lonely....now I am just alone... :) And I never give up hope for meeting the man who will commit. | |
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| Loneliness
Posted: 2/7/2008 5:53:39 PM |
Edge...you are only 24....it's hard at any age today....
I used to be lonely....now I am just alone... :) And I never give up hope for meeting the man who will commit.
I already feel like my life is 1/4 (if not 1/3) over LOL. The truth is I'm scared of getting older... time is going by way too fast and it doesn't seem like I'm really making much progress... It's hard to imagine where I'll be in the next 10 years; it really frightens me to think that I may have to wait another 20 years before the next "right" person comes along.
I mean honestly, I've only been in an actual relationship for a combined total of 3 years (on and off). The rest of the time, I've just been "dreaming" LOL. | |
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| Loneliness
Posted: 2/7/2008 7:22:15 PM | | Edge I'm turning 23, just one year behind you. I also have the same thoughts as you. I'm beginning to worry as I get older. I mean its hard finding the right person. It's even harder when I barely go out and busy with getting into dental school. | |
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| Loneliness
Posted: 2/7/2008 7:30:37 PM |
Edge I'm turning 23, just one year behind you. I also have the same thoughts as you. I'm beginning to worry as I get older. I mean its hard finding the right person. It's even harder when I barely go out and busy with getting into dental school.
LOL... I'm actually 25 in March, so I'm a bit "older" than that... but anyway... at least you have a future and bright career ahead of you. School makes it even harder. I'm planning on starting the MBA program in 2009... Women love men with money... Let's make LOTS of it shall we?
I hope we won't be so lonely after we get our lives and careers on track! Good luck in Dental School! | |
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| Loneliness
Posted: 2/7/2008 8:21:11 PM | | loneliness..... i try to forget it.... i am only 21 keep my heart in a safe, been only in 1 real realtionship, and now all i do is eat work sleep, once in awhile i crwl out of my cage..... how do i do it? hard ......eat work sleep and meet a few friends once in awhile.... | |
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| Loneliness
Posted: 2/7/2008 9:03:28 PM | It comes in waves, really. One moment, you're fine, the next it's an anchor around your neck.
The most ironic part about it is that when you're feeling loneliness at its worst, that's when everyone drifts away. They don't want to be seen with someone who's hurting, so they scurry away like rats escaping a sinking ship. When you're at your lowest, you're sick and poisonous, and everyone ends up getting pushed further away.
The key to not giving in is realizing it's not you. Well it is, but the reason you're lonely is not because you're a bad person. It's because the world is a bad place. Those rats escaping a sinking ship are exactly that, rats, human refuse, scum. And they make up the vast majority of the human race. Welcome to life, enjoy it.
I've learned to handle being lonely. It has its advantages. Non-involvement with people has all-but-ensured that I remain insulated by the sweaty masses of ignorant, hateful, small minded, commodity-worshipping dipshits that fill every street corner and every shop in the town I live in.
Now if there was some kind of way to attract actual, thinking human beings selectively I'd be all set... | |
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| Loneliness
Posted: 2/7/2008 11:04:49 PM | What a great question! I decided a long time ago that I would not hang out with someone or date someone just to be with someone. If they were not a great person, or fun to be with I would rather just be alone. It is not worth having to pretend to be interested or not bored. I am good company and can have fun by myself. The best deal would be to meet someone that is very smart, very funny, well mannered, ethical and fun to be around to share our lives with but for some reason society has brainwashed people to think that we all need to have brad pitt or pam anderson and that we all need to look like models, be rich as bill gates and generous as Oprah, that we fall madly in love with them and give them everything they have ever dreamed of and fullfill their every desire and answer all of their dreams and expectations in the first date or meeting and if not, well they will keep looking. It is sad. The best way to meet people is through friends. Why not throw a party and ask all of your single friends to bring a single friend with them but not as a date and everyone where a name tag, have some games planned that inspire dicussions and are fun and see if any matches can be made... I dont know... I guess it is better than being lonely or haning out in bars..
bl | |
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| Loneliness
Posted: 2/8/2008 9:17:43 AM | | I feel you on that one edge. I broke up with my last girlfirend (who I was with for almost 2 years) and then tried to move on but I found out I dont attract the woman I am looking for. I'm 24 too and all my friends are getting married and having kids. They all look at me like I did something wrong. I dont wanna be waiting for years for someone to come along. My friends always tells me it'll come when it's ready. I just gave up all together I dont have the time. So I commend you for waiting it out lol. | |
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| Loneliness
Posted: 2/8/2008 10:12:40 AM | | I think you need to learn to live with yourself first and know that that's OK. When you learn to be happy with yourself, people will be attracted to that. | |
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| Loneliness
Posted: 2/8/2008 10:14:59 AM | | Sure you may get lonely, but I have to say, sometimes being on my own is even BETTER that all the work you have to put into relatioships....Try it for a while, you may just like it...(sorry for the double post) | |
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| Loneliness
Posted: 2/8/2008 7:44:48 PM | Loneliness isn't so bad, it's just that getting used to it takes years. Once you hit that point though, go on a few bad dates once in a while and you'll appreciate being single! (And I'm being about 90% serious.)  | |
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| Loneliness
Posted: 2/8/2008 8:29:59 PM | Edge and Dnguyen4, please don't think your life is wasting away....you guys are two young studs in your prime...now please... :)....It makes me sad to hear young people talk like this...
Change your attitude to one where you believe that one day you will meet a lovely lady...and in the meantime just enjoy life!!! Will you two please do that???
There are too many people going around not believing things will come their way...take risks and chances out in your community....if an opportunity presents itself with a young lady, go for it, regardless of rejection or not....keep on seeking out those opportunities!!!
 (hugs for you both!!) :) ~Sue~ | |
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| Loneliness
Posted: 2/8/2008 8:32:26 PM | Hey, here's a hug for you too, Aurora
Group hug for everyone...
*sigh*It's rough sometimes, sure, but keep picking yourself up.... | |
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| Loneliness
Posted: 2/8/2008 11:46:32 PM | I completely understand where you are coming from about being lonely. I am a single mom that just turned 29 yesterday and am completely and utterly lonely... not as to being without anyone persay because i have my daughter... but not having someone else to vent to, have hold me, tell me everything will be ok.. laugh with, cry with... the whole nine. I jsut moved to Austin a year ago and still dont know anyone becuase I have been hurt so badly in the past.. I am kind of afraid to venture out again. I know.. seems like maybe its my own fault for not having anyone and being lonely... however, I don't know what else to do.
I figure one of these days it will surpass and I too will get out and meet people and do things with.. .but in the meantime I simply tell myself that its better to be alone and not worry then to be with someone and worry on when and if they hurt you next. | |
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| Loneliness
Posted: 2/9/2008 4:14:05 AM | | Yes, I have become used to doing things on my own, but some days are worse than others. I can cry at the drop of a hat right now. I retreat into myself, hold things in and my fuse is short. | |
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| Loneliness
Posted: 2/9/2008 11:10:59 AM | | I dealt with it by hitting the books again. I went back to college and got my degree. Now that I'm done I'm trying to regain some hobbies that I've lost in the mean time. I try to get out and socialize with friends. | |
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MNM08
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Joined: 1/14/2008
Msg: 69 | |
| Loneliness
Posted: 2/9/2008 12:18:18 PM | | If you are lonely, hang out with some friends on the weekend, get into some activities, start a new hobby, etc. | |
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| Loneliness
Posted: 2/9/2008 1:14:20 PM | Why would you ever say you are not cut out to have a partner. I think loneliness is a bi-product of our brain. I'm alone and it gets lonely on an occassion. You should stop thinking about it so much and focus on things that will improve you & your life. I firmly believe we have the power to change ourselves in a manner that we see fit.
Don't look at going places by yourself as a loney result. Look at it from a different angle that you are putting yourself out there to have fun and enjoy the days that you have provided.
I used to be so shy and strangers just complete made me so nervous, but what I did is I just started talking. I remember one person in particular that I met over 10 years ago was from that moment. Instead of saying "I know that I was not cut out to have a partner." is your excuse that is like a comfort blanket. For example, I could say hey I'm phat and therefore I won't ever be in a relationship. Well, we all know being phat has nothing to do with dating or relationships. It has everything to do with a person.
When you start having these thoughts change them around to say them in a positive way. You can make a negative thought into a positive.... | |
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| Loneliness
Posted: 2/9/2008 1:37:59 PM | Sugar,
The feelings of loneliness can be profound especially in the initial time after a break up. You have to start living life for yourself, don't jump into another relationship right away that will be way worse. Spend sometime alone and once you enjoy your own company than you can invite someone else to be with you. The sleeping around part is tough, I find that it can be a soul robbing experience so be careful. The right person has to fill that void. | |
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| Loneliness
Posted: 7/5/2008 12:37:58 AM | There I was 10 yrs. into the relationship, And then suddenly I was constantly arguing with my wife. It didn't matter what it always turned to an all or nothing. Suddenly I find out she has been seeing some one. One of my kids pointed to a house and said that they had been there before. Well were driving down the same road and I have one of my step kids in the car and I ask who lives there and they tell me.
Hence I filed for a divorce. Now I find myself crying cause I miss her so much. I've been divorced since March 20 th And I've cried every day. I lived in the town I'm in for 10 yrs. and I don't know anybody away from work. I find myself waiting for the phone to ring but it never does. There is never a knock on the door or anything.
I've cried on my hands and knees asking Christ to end my loneliness But nothing yet. My baby is 8 so I only get her on my days off. There are times I give in and call her only to be told that I am to blame. I constantly tell her I love her and that I want her to come home. She is now seeing some one , and she tells me to many thing have happened in the last 6 months to ever go back..
Alone ....I know how it feels and I know the pain cause I live it every day. | |
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| Loneliness
Posted: 7/5/2008 4:38:05 AM | | How very refreshing to hear someone else say what i have been thinking for so long myself. in my moments of weakness i fear that my loneliness is a result of something lacking in me, and that in itself makes the loneliness feel so much worse. In my moments of strength i know that i have given freely with a good heart 100% of the time to whoever has given me a chance, only to have it chucked back in my face. I am not 'bubbly, outgoing, funloving blah blah blah' and sometimes i feel that i cannot ever 'have a life' because i find it hard to communicate with people. everyone else seems to be living in a parallel universe where shopping and getting drunk at the weekend is all there is. I don't suppose i will ever fit in with it. i still haven't given up hope altogether though. if anyone else feels like ranting about the general injustice of things please get in touch | |
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| Loneliness
Posted: 7/6/2008 5:44:49 AM | | Sometimes I can be lonely in a crowd! Many of my friends are married and when I'm with them it's hard not to reflect on where I am in life or to feel like the third wheel. Add to the fact that on the drive home you strat to ponder about things as well. It's one thing to be loely when you're by yourself but it's another to be lonely in a crowd ... and this is from someone who is usually pretty comfortable being by one's self and enjoying "me" time. | |
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| Loneliness
Posted: 7/6/2008 6:43:43 AM | I was married for 20 years and have been separated and in the process of a divorce for 1 year. When I left my husband I made the decision that I would rather be alone for the rest of my life than remain in the marriage that I was in.
That being said---I am alone and comfortable with myself. My youngest daughter lives with me, but spends a lot of time with her dad and this summer will be gone for a week then home for a week.
I do get lonely on occassion. I miss that connection with someone who knows me---and who I can vent to etc. I moved to this small town to leave the husband and only know people at work. I am one of the bosses, so it's not like I can really hang out. I still have lots of friends, but they are a phone call away---and it's just not the same as having them right there.
I know that in time I will meet more and more people--so I guess it just takes time. And the other thing is I'm not willing to settle, so I'm willing to be lonely at times.
Being alone and being lonely aren't the same. | |
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