| Do men ever stop looking for another woman?
Posted: 2/3/2008 10:28:29 AM | Because the Computer /POF owes them .. as one guy put it to me and he is very honest .... he happens to be my friend ...it happens to women also... I know I am hooked on the forums and love to read them and reply to them... After all we are all here after our dream, one can't find it just by meeting and sticking to that person if the chemistry isn't there.... When it happens it will be like magic , a room can be full of people and you will only feel like it's the two of you in the room ONLY ... and POF will be history ....  | |
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| Do men ever stop looking for another woman?
Posted: 2/3/2008 11:52:20 AM | Oh my "God" girl you really have been deeply hurt... one needs to seek help ... for the process of healing to take place... Not all men are accountable for the misbehavior and actions of some men , towards women... Men are God's creation by "God's " very own hand and he blew his own breath into his nostrils and gave him life.. he called him Adam.. without man we women wouldn't existed.. for "God" created woman out of Adam's rib... I like to say so that man can protect his woman, love her, hold her close to his heart... You notices he made woman out of man's ribs? the purpose of the ribs are to protect human internal organs such as the lungs, heart, etc .. get it we are from his ribs with in turn protect his vital organs... which makes us his protector of his Heart and life... ahhhhhhhhhh aren't we so lucky ..  So men take care of us ladies and in turn we shall protect you.... well the few ladies that are loyal , strong, faithful,honest and of course monogamous.
blacksuperwoman : You are very young still ,beautiful, I am sure you have your qualities. But give all your troubles to "Lord Christ" he will carried your troubles as he has already , you just need to let go of them .. so you can move on ... Blessing And Peace With You , A sister in "Christ". | |
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| Do men ever stop looking for another woman?
Posted: 2/3/2008 12:04:06 PM | | I can only speak for myself of course, but when I find "the one", she will be the only one. I was married for five years and never went looking for action. But that's me, maybe it all depends on the circumstances. | |
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| Do men ever stop looking for another woman?
Posted: 2/4/2008 12:36:20 PM | Hey Ellie,
I am dating someone from this site and he is logging on. I logged on this site for the forums. He is fishing around. If he thinks the grass is greener then go for it. So far I do trust him but it makes me wonder.
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| Do men ever stop looking for another woman?
Posted: 2/4/2008 11:01:47 PM | Hi Bamagirl,
I think there are many reasons why he may still be logging on to this site. He may have friends that he made here, possibly or he could be still looking just in case he meets someone he thinks is better in some way. It is common even among the women. They meet someone they like and then test those waters all the while searching in case they meet someone nicer, better personality, more common interests, better looking, more financially secure, more prestegious career, etc., etc. It is unfortunate but this does happen. Some just like the attention and their egos get inflated. Let me share some thoughts on dating and relationships that I have discovered through experience and many good seminars as well as much counciling at church. This may or may not apply to you so please do not get offended at anything I say.
After one date, no one should be going exclusive. After a month or two a man should know if the woman he is dating is the one he wants to pursue an exclusive relationship with. That is called "Courtship". The goal of courtship is that some time in the future, after getting to know each other much better, there is an idea of marriage occuring. A guy should step up to the plate and express to the woman how he feels and what his intentions are before beginning a Courtship and he should always leave a woman an "out". He should allow her to express her feelings on the matter and if she is not wanting to continue towards a courtship then it's time to "Gracefully" end the dating and move on in peace.
It takes time to cultivate a friendship and that is the first thing we should be doing when we meet someone. Get to know someone over time without any physical intimacy. Of course I am coming from a Christian perspective but I know that even secular psychologists will give this advice. Once you start kissing and holding hands, your discernment ability deminishes and you lose perspective. God forbid you become sexually intimate, all discernment flies out the window. Why? Because you have joined with another person in the deepest way possible in that there is a now a spiritual bond that was only intended for marriage. The Bible is abundantly clear on this. Why do you think it hurts so much more when you break up with someone you have been intimate with? You see sexual passion looks and feels like love but it is not love, it is just lust. People will say and promise you anything while having sex, even express love feelings, but they are misleading, it's not real love.
This is a way to look at it. Have you ever been camping? Well when you start a fire you can get lots of small twiggs and such and once you light them up they burn very quickly and you have a big blaze..... for a short time and then it burns out and you have nothing. That is what Pre-marital sex is like. Love is more like the large deep embers you place in the middle of the camp fire. They will burn deep and red hot and as long as you have more wood to throw on them, they will keep the fire burning as long as you have wood to put on them. That is a deep abiding love which takes time to cultivate.
Do you want to find that kind of abiding love? A love that lasts? Then you have to raise your standards to a person who will respect you and keep you pure until marriage. You in turn must do the same. I know it's not easy!!! Think about this. A person who has no fear of God and Jesus His Son who will one day judge everyone, certainly has no fear of being unfaithful to you and surely will stray because they have no objective moral compass to go by. Think about it.
The divorce rate in America is 50% for First marriages, 75% for Second marriages and almost 90% for Third marriages. That looks pretty bleek and for those who live together first before getting married have a 90% divorce rate. At one time it was believed that divorce among Christian marriages were the same as secular ones but they discovered that the research for that was seriously skewed. Christian marriages have a far better success rate. Why? Several reasons but mainly because opposed to a secualr two party contract between a man and a woman, in Christian marriages it's a Three party covenant between God, the man and the woman.
Blessings!
In Christ,
Walter | |
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| Do men ever stop looking for another woman?
Posted: 2/5/2008 12:38:06 AM | Are you sure he is lying to you about why he is logging on. I have talked to some very interesting people on this site. Male and female, I find it a nice place to converse and look at different points of view. If my boyfriend/if I had one was threatened by it and talked to me about it I would ease the worry and give him my password.
If he is on the up and up, is it fair to ban him from this site or could their be a different way to resolve this issue between you. Only hiders hide. Have you talked to him? | |
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| Do men ever stop looking for another woman?
Posted: 2/5/2008 6:58:12 AM | | He tells you he loves you? That's wrong, a bit over the top. Many times friendships have developed over the years. Dropping friends because one lady comes along? Would you? | |
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| Do men ever stop looking for another woman?
Posted: 2/5/2008 8:46:58 AM | That wreaks of player all over it until you get hard evidence to the contrary ...
He loves you? How long have you two been "together" now? Does he love YOU, or the fact that you are easily persueded? | |
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| Do men ever stop looking for another woman?
Posted: 2/5/2008 8:48:49 AM | P.S. ... yes, they do keep looking until they are MORE than comfortable and then still sometimes ... I think it's called breathing, and both men and women do it ... just because you are in a relationship, doesn't mean you are dead - but there are limits to this too.
Our job as SO, is to KEEP them interested - don't let yourself go | |
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| Do men ever stop looking for another woman?
Posted: 2/6/2008 11:38:09 AM | I always login when I get an email notification. I have seen the same guy a few times and he is also still in here most every time I login. It bugs me, but in fairness just it has been stated repeatedly I would know if I wasnt as well. I know Im not interacting with anyone else and dont answer mssgs(which apparently makes me EVIL ). Im not so optimistic as to think its the same on his part. In all honesty it does change how I feel about the whole thing. I have to assume he's just not that into me and therefore it's a waste of my energy to even worry about it. | |
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| Do men ever stop looking for another woman?
Posted: 2/6/2008 11:47:17 AM | You do realize that he/she meets single people in the real world too?... OMG WE'RE DATING, STOP LEAVING YOUR HOUSE!
Some people have awesome trust issues.
I've been dating someone for 7 months and I still interact with people... even single people... OMG! Does that make me evil and a cheater... apparently here it does! Please don't tell her! | |
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| Do men ever stop looking for another woman?
Posted: 2/6/2008 11:51:28 AM | | i really dont think they do, the same thing happened to me and we all believe what they say even when deep down you are screaming to yourself to wake up. i am not proud of what i done but i made up an anon profile to spy on him see if he was still using it and he was i never messaged him i wasnt intending to play games i just needed to know myself so i could be strong enough to get a grip,, they say the right man is out there for everyone here is hoping thats true | |
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| Do men ever stop looking for another woman?
Posted: 2/6/2008 12:04:54 PM | | Give me a break! Dont take this out of context. There is a difference between interacting with someone in the "real" world as you say than doing in here where it is understood that the interest is romantically inclined. The site isnt called "plenty of friends to meet platonically". Yeah, call me a freak but if Im actually interested in someone(let alone seeing someone regularly) I dont actively seek out other people as back ups. | |
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| Do men ever stop looking for another woman?
Posted: 2/6/2008 1:27:41 PM | Oh look, my profile says friends... how does that imply romantically seeking? Not single/Not looking... does this mean I'm still looking? Apparently it does... I guess I need a back up!
Sure there's a difference between here in the real world, but if someone is looking for a back up on here you can be sure as sh*t they are looking for a back up in the real world too. | |
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| Do men ever stop looking for another woman?
Posted: 2/6/2008 1:41:12 PM | Ha ha Clover that was funny and I have to agree with ya.
Its so much easier to attempt cheating over the internet than in real person though, that's why its so popular. You can be chatting with a potential lover while your current one is in the next room. You can chat with them at work, after current one has gone to sleep. With 2 or 3 at the same time. | |
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| Do men ever stop looking for another woman?
Posted: 2/6/2008 1:52:33 PM | Do I keep looking FOR another woman when I am in a romantic relationship?
No.
Do I keep looking AT other women when I am in a romantic relationship?
Hell, yes. 
Do I cut off all relations with my platonic female friends when I am in a relationship?
Hell, no - and if the woman I have started having a romantic relationship with objects, it will probably end that romantic relationship. | |
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| Do men ever stop looking for another woman?
Posted: 2/6/2008 5:27:58 PM | | GEEZ Does everything have to be so LITERAL for you guys. Where was is said that you are suddenly suppose to gauge out your eyes and give up female friends. Although with such a lockstep approach I bet your "romantic relationship" didnt mean that much to begin with. Ever heard the word BALANCE? With reasonable exceptions if you are treating your woman right by being respectful, considerate of her concerns, gentle and attentive(ie showing her who you ARE into)then it shouldnt be and issue. The point is not to be so extreme. Im not quitting the guy because Ive seen him sniffing around in here. I dont know what the deal is, but does it not seem wise to temper myself against being naive about what it might be. | |
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| Do men ever stop looking for another woman?
Posted: 2/6/2008 8:40:39 PM | SpanishSugar Says: "if u are meant to be and become truly special to each other u can parade naked women in front of him all day long and he will still choose YOU"
Yes, they do stop looking. This has been true in my own experience as well.
If you are really INTO each other, and the sex is at least decent and you share a certain emotional and energetic simpatico, chances are he won't even look....hell, if you sucked all the naughty energy outta him... oftentimes he won't have much left to look with... He'll be too tired recuperating after being with you! 
Same is true for women. Give us what we need emotionally, intellectually and sexually and we will lose the impetus to rove or browse. If our core needs are met, then we'll work on other aspects of our lives that need attention (like school, going to the gym, career, etc.)
--Liz
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| Do men ever stop looking for another woman?
Posted: 2/17/2008 3:58:59 PM | in a nutshell no
men and women are always on the lookout for the next best thing ,its human nature ,its the fundamental survival of the species we are talking about here ,the only thing that stops us actually behaving like animals (although we want to ) is the ability to know or recognize the limits society has placed upon us to be a decent human being ,in the animal kingdom they dont have all the hangups that we do, such as religion and precedent,they only understand that to futher exist in this plain they have to mate with the best subject of their species that they can find so as to ensure they will prevail and their offspring will be the best exaple of their species .......... we are no different ......except that we have this impulse to conform to society ,and that means following the rules and examples that have been set before us . what im trying to say here is that people will always window shop but the most decent of us will never ever look that hard that they want to sample what they see ...................................................but then again human nature is a hard thing to control i hope you make sense of this .......its called darwinism | |
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| Do men ever stop looking for another woman?
Posted: 6/29/2008 2:11:00 PM | | I think that there are still a few who would eventually stop looking for women, but not alot of them. It's too easy these days. Too easy in person and especially on the internet. There will always be another woman who looks different, smells different, walks different. So they have to check her out. The general question becomes, how much are you willing to take and still continue whatever type of interaction with him that you have? I think I have my limits, and if I was engaged or married, I wouldn't be able to stand the thought that he's either with someone else or thinking of being with someone else. And so, men tend not to want to go there. It instead becomes, ok which night or how many nights of the week do you allocate to me? And if you don't like his answer, well, your other option is zero. [It reminds me of the polygamous sect recently in the news:( ] | |
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| Do men ever stop looking for another woman?
Posted: 6/29/2008 2:22:31 PM |
I logged on this site for the forums. He is fishing around.
And he probably thinks that he is here for the forums, and YOU are fishing around.
As per the OP (and I know she is gone, but that's what this thread is about), you can't expect someone to be all yours after one date. And who knows, he may be logging on to tell other women that he went out with that he's not available anymore.
People assume WAY too much. I mean, hell, if your with someone and they are on here, ASK THEM WHY. Use your mouth, or your keyboard, or whatever. Don't assume they are doing this or that, find out for yourself. | |
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| Do men ever stop looking for another woman?
Posted: 6/29/2008 4:03:51 PM | | Sounds like he's keeping his options open unfortunately. I've been in your position lots of times. What did I do? Dumped them and moved on. I have no time for players nor games. | |
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