| Why are guys so obsessed with their cars?
Posted: 10/22/2007 12:18:41 PM |
Thanks... so it's nothing personal that he was irritable when I stopped to see him.? things were not going his way... You'd think by now that the message would have gotten around:
Just because your current or recent-past boyfriend/girlfriend acts in a way that you disapprove, doesn't mean that all of the sex behaves in the same manner. | |
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| Why are guys so obsessed with their cars?
Posted: 10/22/2007 2:40:53 PM | Wow, thanks for all of this great advice. I really didn't think I'd get this many responses, and so many varied ones. I know deep down that a lot of men can focus on only one thing at a time, but it does help to hear it from the masses!
1. If it is his passion, expect him to be focused on it.
I knew when we first started hanging out that this car is definitely his passion.. he's lost a couple of girlfriends over it because they just didn't believe that he could actually spend hours and hours in the shop working on it.
2. Is this considered a bad thing? I'm not sure where you got that impression, but a lot of men want assurance in their relationship when they are happy with it.
I guess I don't consider him wanting me to tell him I'm in love with him a bad thing, it just threw me for a loop, that's all. We had tried to start dating on two different occasions, and both times failed because of our individual insecurites, hangups, walls, whatever. He got distant, I got clingy.. blah, blah, blah... The other night he kept saying "tell me".. and I really had no clue what he wanted to hear, so he let it go. Later on, he texted me "please tell me", and I said "what do you want to hear? that I'm in love with you?" and he said "yes". (I know, how juvenile, using text messages to say something like that..but there you have it). And as for a relationship, I'm not really sure if have one, because now we're back to being distant and clingy... almost like we each expected the other person to act as they had in the past.... so now I'm just waiting to see what his next move will be.
I am dying to call him or go see him - I have an open invitation to stop by his shop whenever he's there in the evenings - which is always... but feel that I should probably let him come to me. Guys?
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| Why are guys so obsessed with their cars?
Posted: 10/22/2007 4:55:20 PM | Well OP this last post is a bit troubling only because now you tell more of the details that would have greatly modified most replies left so far. This isn't about his car or him "needing" you to say you're into him---it's more about who "wins" at each step of your little relationship dance now going on. You've both exhibited the very qualities that just cannot mesh well if you're looking to have anything but a dysfunctional and drama-filled time together. It sounds as though communication is non-existent----you exchange words but don't share yourselves with one another.
You're undecided whether to make a move towards him, he's going on with his normal life as though there's no one else to consider so how do you work past this---or do you? Living down to the lowest expectations will get you no where---with him or anyone else. Make a decision to meet him half way but leave the tape measure at home---go visit HIM!! If he ignores you or acts as though you're intruding or unwanted you have an answer of sorts immediately. If he's delighted to see you it'll show-----you won't be able to miss it. If you find yourself alone with him in that shop believe it or not he'll think of that as an intimate setting which would be highly conducive to conversation. YOU could start by sharing a bit of how you've felt over this latest bump in the road, trying to just express yourself and not make it seem clingy to him. (This isn't always easy since many times its more a perception on his part than something you're actually doing.) Make an effort to make him comfortable enough with you that his sharing comes easy, that you're there to listen and respond positively and not get into another battle of words or wills with him.
One of you have to make at least the first move----and sometimes even a few more after that, too. If you think it's all worth it with him get going! If not, this will all die a quiet death from lack of attention by either party!
Best of luck-------give us an update! | |
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| Why are guys so obsessed with their cars?
Posted: 10/22/2007 6:12:20 PM | A man has to be totally focussed on the car to ensure the job is done correctly and safely !
Most people like to know they are loved.
What stupid questions ! | |
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| Why are guys so obsessed with their cars?
Posted: 10/22/2007 6:27:28 PM | Cars are something that can be a great puzzle to take apart and put together, I have met women who dedicate themselves to their cars, too. When I am involved under the hood or under the car I am only thinking of completing that project. Something that seems simple can get really complicated if you are not paying attention to detail. Concentration is required in order to complete the steps, in order. It's not a good time to chat.
The second part of your question is on a per guy basis. Some men have got to hear it, others need less assurances. | |
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| Why are guys so obsessed with their cars?
Posted: 10/22/2007 6:35:08 PM | | Hi, jwa. Boy, did I ever need to hear this. You're right, it is about who wins at each step of our little dance, and right now no one is winning. He called me tonight to let me know that I was driving him crazy, and I apologized for being so clingy/possessive, and told him that I'm just insecure and that I'm working on that. He told me that he has feelings for me, but is not sure that having a relationship with me is worth giving up what he has now - the freedom to be with whomever he wants whenever he wants, no strings.. blah blah. I told him that if he feels this way, then so be it... I am not going to chase him. At this point I'm not sure if a relationship with him is in my best interest at this point... He said that he will call tomorrow and I said "fine", then he said that he wants to see how I will react if he doesn't call. So... I told him that I am too old for games like this and that he either wants me in his life or he doesn't... I have no intentions of contacting him at this point... I did an immature thing and deleted his number from my phone so that I am not tempted. Right now I feel that if he wants me, he is going to have to pursue me. I might be going about this the wrong way, but I have to do what I have to do to protect myself. | |
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| Why are guys so obsessed with their cars?
Posted: 10/24/2007 12:57:06 AM | My father was on his way to being a famous race car driver back in 1959 to 1970 He was given a special lightweight specialy made car from the factory. In fact I was born in the front seat on the way to the hospital in a 1963 1/2 galaxy 427 Lightweight. One of Ten ever built and the only one painted Red. (The factory lightweights were always painted white, thus the name body in white is ref to cars issued by the factories to be built into race cars) His car was painted red by Ford to throw off the tech inspectors about its true class on the R code cars in the Midwest cars he was running against. He won practically every race he went to.... In 1969 dad was ready to step into Pro Stock and was blowing away big names of its time. Dad and his friend Wally Booth / Art Evans won Pro Stock in Indianapolis in 1969 . Dad was interested in circle track racing and got a Talladaga Torino to chase after NASCAR...... It was our family's daily driver even until they purchased a truck to tow it ..lol
Suddenly my mother stepped in and began her obsession with horses. We had 50 Tennessee Walking Horses by 1972....... You talk about work ......... It was a never ending dedication to just feeding these things......... Fences to fix........Working them out. about 15 of them were full build up show horses. Dad had to give up his hobby as a drag racer and circle track racer. To keep my mother happy with her obsession. and myself s as a 7 year old I remember mowing our barn frontage and house yard.... 24 acres it took 3 days of mowing just so she could keep up with the Jones es.....
So when my brother turned 16 my parents gave him the experimental xr code talladaga Torino and when I turned 16 I purchased on my own a 1969 R code shaker 428 SCJ Mach 1 Mustang.... Which I still own today and my brother has won first place in large shows like Mobile One Challenge with our family's old Talladaga Torino.
So I began racing and collecting and building race cars myself. To the point that A.J Foyts chief mechanic that also was the official to signed A.J.s Indy 500 Drivers license. Stops by my shop to shoot the shit with me all the time..... As for I am the only person in my young age group that can talk the 60s era engines and cars that he once dominated.
So I have gained many personal and famous friends from my hobby that I would only have been to known from a distance.
I can work on my cars and when I get sick of working on them and just close the garage door and walk away......... Horses or dogs on the other hand is a never ending deal........
My parents divorced over my mothers obsession with horses........ And if he had been able to keep his hobbie going......... I could have been a Kyle Petty, or a Dale Jr Today. | |
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| Why are guys so obsessed with their cars?
Posted: 10/24/2007 1:10:52 PM | Update.. not that anyone really cares, though, but one poster DID ask me to keep this updated. My friend, C, (for lack of a better term) texted me last night, just to tell me that he was going to sleep and that he would talk to me today... then he surprised me and called me at work today to tell me that he was taking off for his buddy's a few days early and that he would talk to me on Sunday. I didn't get an attitude, just told him to be safe and have fun and I would talk to him whenever he got back. I did, however, make a point of letting him know that I had lots to keep me busy this weekend, and I just might not be around if he calls me on Sunday. Yes, I'm playing a game, but I just couldn't help myself!!
Also, one more part of the story - I met a great guy from POF on Friday night, and we clicked, which was totally unexpected as his picture on here does NOT do him justice.
Long story short, I posted an event, and he was one of the four people who showed up... and had the longest drive to get there. We hung out all night, went to breakfast with my friends, and he called me the next day. He also called me the other night, after having read this forum (hmmm... did I subconsciously do this intentionally?) and we had an interesting conversation. I told him that I'd like to see him again, but that I'm keeping my options open with C. He seemed fine with that, but we'll see. | |
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| Why are guys so obsessed with their cars?
Posted: 10/25/2007 11:26:13 AM |
Thanks... so it's nothing personal that he was irritable when I stopped to see him.? things were not going his way...
as a mechanic and an antique car owner i can tell you that if i am haveing a problem with a car or a car thats fighting me and dont want to do what i want it to do.STAY AWAY from me!!i dont try to be mean but if i am haveing a hard time with something i wonat give up till its fixed.i get to the point where there is nothing but me,tools and the car in my immediate surroundings and thoughts.and due to this problem i can not and will not work for a repair shop.i cant have people around me while im working unless i KNOW the people will help me instead of bothering me. | |
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A.S.L
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Joined: 5/23/2007
Msg: 35 | |
| Why are guys so obsessed with their cars?
Posted: 10/25/2007 11:41:51 AM | | lol well it is a redundant question ,,,, why women love their shoes ? i knew a girl who had 150 pairs ,.... men love their cars for the same reason women love their shoes ...about the love thing come on ,,, its all circumstantial ,,, not all ppl need to hear not all ppl sayit not all ppl belive in it | |
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9 to 9
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Joined: 5/28/2007
Msg: 36 | |
| Why are guys so obsessed with their cars?
Posted: 10/25/2007 11:57:36 AM | Msg. 1
Well thats because some think that its a reflection of their penis (That's right, Y'all, I said it! Penis!) Which is of course is why I drive a Jeep, Its big....UGG!...Its white short and hairless....UGG ugg UGGG!...and runs into the kitty often. Grunt Grunt Oii Oii! LOL!
And thats a guy thang. And UGG does like his car does he not? ;)
As for the second part, maybe its just that some men cant see past the coyishly cool and calm exterior that often women adopt. Which is why women often have to adopt, a more direct method of expressing what their feeling, incidentally.
But often I think its because UGG is busy making messes of things. Especially in the shower! While thinking "Smash Kitty Good! And Give me baby!" Lol!
And that too is a guy thang. 
9 to 9 | |
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| Why are guys so obsessed with their cars?
Posted: 10/25/2007 12:00:24 PM | Men are single-focus creatures, meaning they can't concentrate on anything or anyone else until they finish the one task at hand that they're focused on. If you attempt to speak to them while they're in this zone, all they hear is Charlie Brown's teacher
Hey and all women are bad drivers and deserve less pay, NOT.
I suggest you update your world view and not hang with idiot males. It is amazing that people still think in these terms; how do you manage to tie your shoes?
If you take a car to go less than 2 miles or for you smarter folks 3.2 km. Then your getting fat.
Not all men are assumed to be in love with their cars. | |
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| Why are guys so obsessed with their cars?
Posted: 10/25/2007 12:11:42 PM |
If you take a car to go less than 2 miles or for you smarter folks 3.2 km. Then your getting fat.
please explain to me why im loseing wieght?i gotta go buy all new pants cuz mine are falling off of me.i dont walk more than 100 feet.and thats just to get to my truck | |
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| Why are guys so obsessed with their cars?
Posted: 10/25/2007 8:58:00 PM | fordman, then don't cry when you can't walk that mile when gas is 10 bucks a gallon.
Sorry the obsession with the car is actually becoming silly for some, you think 90 dollars a barrel is bad, wait till it hits like 200 dollars by 2010.
Give me a W says the cheer leader, give me an A , give me an L, give me a K.... | |
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| Why are guys so obsessed with their cars?
Posted: 10/26/2007 5:34:44 AM | | the nice thing is i have 2 diesels.ill convert them to run used veggie oil.restaraunts will give it away by the barrel so they dont have to pay to get rid of it | |
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| Why are guys so obsessed with their cars?
Posted: 10/26/2007 5:46:37 AM | | Its nice they are giving it away now but later I am pretty sure they will not be, already in Toronto as people converted it became a profit enchancement. | |
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| Why are guys so obsessed with their cars?
Posted: 10/26/2007 5:46:45 AM |
I did, however, make a point of letting him know that I had lots to keep me busy this weekend, and I just might not be around if he calls me on Sunday. Yes, I'm playing a game, but I just couldn't help myself!!
Also, one more part of the story - I met a great guy from POF on Friday night, and we clicked, which was totally unexpected as his picture on here does NOT do him justice.
Long story short, I posted an event, and he was one of the four people who showed up... and had the longest drive to get there. We hung out all night, went to breakfast with my friends, and he called me the next day. He also called me the other night, after having read this forum (hmmm... did I subconsciously do this intentionally?) and we had an interesting conversation. I told him that I'd like to see him again, but that I'm keeping my options open with C. He seemed fine with that, but we'll see.
Sorry OP but this latest from you reinforces you've not learned one single thing and will instantly revert to your playing a game with guys in order to have the last word. This is highly unfortunate for you since it will probably be how you conduct yourself in every "relationship" you ever enter. This new guy is a complete fool for getting involved at this point and since your entire relationship with this "C" is here for all to see. I'd be scared shi*tless to get involved with someone who has revealed this part of themselves.
If I were to wish something for you it would be some common sense in seeing how what you give out is what you get in return. Call it Karma or whatever playing games as you have admitted to already will yield you nothing but the same in return.
Despite my own request to keep us updated I don't think we need any more info----you're happy as is and don't want to change so more of this only crosses into boring.
Best of luck! | |
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| Why are guys so obsessed with their cars?
Posted: 10/26/2007 6:13:16 PM | Sorry OP but this latest from you reinforces you've not learned one single thing and will instantly revert to your playing a game with guys in order to have the last word. This is highly unfortunate for you since it will probably be how you conduct yourself in every "relationship" you ever enter. This new guy is a complete fool for getting involved at this point and since your entire relationship with this "C" is here for all to see. I'd be scared shi*tless to get involved with someone who has revealed this part of themselves.
No need to be sorry, and I didn't think I was here to learn a lesson... just get advice.
I make it a point to NEVER play games with guys that I am interested in, and I am not trying to have the last word. It' s just that I am not sure how to handle this thing with C... do I call him? Sit by the phone and wait for him to call me? Seriously, what do you recommend? Yes, I saw him the other night.. he said he'd call Thursday, still haven't heard from him. So, who's playing games now? How do I let him know that I want to give this a shot without being pushy or needy? Yes, I would love to talk to him and knowing him, he's probably waiting to see if I'll call first.... As for the new guy, he is not "involved"... I haven't seen him since last Friday and we've talked on the phone only twice.. and yes, he reads this forum. It is his choice if he wants to see me again or not.. that's why I'm being completely honest with him.
If I were to wish something for you it would be some common sense in seeing how what you give out is what you get in return. Call it Karma or whatever playing games as you have admitted to already will yield you nothing but the same in return.
Yes, I know that what I give out is what I get in return.. and I do believe in Karma... what goes around comes around, and all of that. Again... I would appreciate any advice you can give me. How do I avoid playing games when that is what C is doing?
Yes, I know, I can nip this thing with him in the bud now before I get hurt... my plan for now is to enjoy the weekend with my son and my friends and see what happens....
Despite my own request to keep us updated I don't think we need any more info----you're happy as is and don't want to change so more of this only crosses into boring.
Well, it's up to you if you want to read this forum or not... I really would appreciate your input as I go through this.. honestly. You are very straightforward, and I need to hear from someone like you... not from my friends... one thinks I should sit by the phone and wait for him to call, and the other thinks that I should kick him to the curb immediately. And you're wrong - I am NOT happy with the way things are. I want him to say what he means and not what he thinks I want to hear. | |
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| Why are guys so obsessed with their cars?
Posted: 10/26/2007 10:37:42 PM | | I'm not obsessed with my car. I'm happy if it gets me from point A to point B and back to point A. I will do some reasonable maintenance on my car, but I don't do unnecessary things just to make my car look flashy. | |
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| Why are guys so obsessed with their cars?
Posted: 10/26/2007 10:53:05 PM | Probably the same reason that women are so obsessed with shoes or coach bags??
For Me its a past time.. Something to do when I have the time . | |
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| Why are guys so obsessed with their cars?
Posted: 10/27/2007 12:26:10 AM | | For me and cars, I am a competitive person and I also would like someone to give me recognition for the work I have done. Thats why sometimes I obsess. | |
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| Why are guys so obsessed with their cars?
Posted: 10/27/2007 6:17:32 AM |
when I turned 16 I purchased on my own a 1969 R code shaker 428 SCJ Mach 1 Mustang....
Guess that would make my i6 sound sick!
Do you have pics of this car? It's one of my dream cars on my list of top 9 (just got 1 on the list) | |
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| Why are guys so obsessed with their cars?
Posted: 10/27/2007 7:02:40 AM | Cars are loyal. Women are not loyal. A car understands the vows of matrimony...Till death do us part..for better or for worse,,,for richer or poorer,,,for sicker or healthier.
A car understands that. But a woman does not understand that. A car is ready when we are, as to where a woman is not ever ready. A car has financial demands, but take note the car gives back what is put into it. A woman never puts back what is put in here
A car is dependable, a woman is not. A car never loses its figure or gets fat. A woman loses her figure and gets fat. This is why i man know that his real love and devotion comes from his car or cars.
My loyal car was so understanding and loving it drove me to divorce that freak i was married to, and the car was still so pretty when we got home and is still loyal. We..me and may car live happily ever after
And let no man of tramp put usunder that i have joined with my machine and my heart | |
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