| he's just a sex partner..is that wrong?
Posted: 6/30/2008 6:52:51 PM | I understand(sadly) that many people must gender bash,but if I understand the OP, she wasn't talking about USING at all.It is a mutual relationship.
So why the male bashing? | |
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| he's just a sex partner..is that wrong?
Posted: 6/30/2008 7:56:02 PM | I cannot believe that people on here are reading things that were never ever posted by the op.
Consensual sex between two adults is just that.
There is nothing wrong with it, if both adults are accepting of what it is, a natural human need/desire.
As natural as breathing. For those of you that say sex is in the biblical sense to be shared by a man and a woman only in matrimony and in love...what the heck are you doing on here???????
Sex is in our DNA to procreate not have the fairy tale life that we were brought up to believe in then fail miserably at.
And if this is not true then why are there so many men and woman on dating sites?
Point made. | |
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| he's just a sex partner..is that wrong?
Posted: 6/30/2008 8:13:48 PM | Nothing wrong with it,as long as both party's are aware of it (BUT)if you are having sex with him and seeing another then in my eyes that is wrong  | |
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| he's just a sex partner..is that wrong?
Posted: 6/30/2008 8:46:02 PM | No, it's not wrong. In fact, sometimes a 'just sex' arrangement can be incredibly low on stress. You don't get hung up on what he's doing, where he is, the jealousy isn't there, and it's just a good time.
If only more people didn't get so hung up on sex being 'just for people you loooooove!' | |
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| he's just a sex partner..is that wrong?
Posted: 6/30/2008 11:57:32 PM | Do you people not really read what is written????
Or do you just read what you want to see?????
No where did the op say her fb was married. What she did say was that in the past two years she has met two men. One of which she later found out was married.
Holy cow so quick to judge yet you cannot even read the truth as it is written before you.
Let he/she who has not sinned cast the first stone!!!!
What a bunch of hypocrits. | |
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| he's just a sex partner..is that wrong?
Posted: 7/1/2008 4:21:55 AM | Hi Icey,
My apologies, I got it wrong! Because I don't have time, unfortunately to read through the whole thread, I quickly skimmed over a post that appeared to say Irish girl's FB was married.
I would not judge anyone seeing a married person, as I have done so myself in the past. However, it's a long story that I won't go into now, but let's just say that I learned my lesson and would NEVER do it again. Ever.
If anyone is seeing a married person, in theory I don't agree with it because of my own personal experience and I would not advise anyone to do so, merely to protect themselves emotionally. But I would not judge them as I am no position to. I misread the thread - you are right !
Irish girl - so go on and enjoy your uncomplicated arrangement - lucky you!
As for male bashing, I apologise if my comments offended anyone - they were perhaps a little overemphasised - but I truly find it incredible that men would lecture anyone about the morals of sex. It is a widely known fact that men are not only primarily sexually driven but, on the whole, prefer sex to commitment - most of the men I have met - both socially as platonic friends and guys in my past will readily admit this! I thought this information was a given!
So I was not intending to men-bash - only making what I thought - and still believe - are statements of fact. And I still think that men lie more than women, sorry guys!
Cathy x | |
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| he's just a sex partner..is that wrong?
Posted: 7/1/2008 4:26:34 AM | Hi again,
Hey, does anyone know how to edit these posts? Or do you just have to keep posting new ones?
Well, I meant to add, in my last post - that men lie more than women - especially about sex. Come on guys, which of you on this site hasn't lied about sex ever in your life to a woman? Even priests do!!!!
cathy | |
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| he's just a sex partner..is that wrong?
Posted: 7/1/2008 5:42:03 AM | Consensual sex between two adults is just that.
Thank you ICEY!!
Finally a voice of reason!
But I already knew you were a cut above
I stand by my original post in stating the OP's only mistake was posting anything here at all.
Nothing in her post necessitated moralizing and gender bashing.
I hereby pronounce myself ready to bury my head in a good book and stay off here! | |
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| he's just a sex partner..is that wrong?
Posted: 7/1/2008 3:18:16 PM | "Do you people not really read what is written????"
Yes , yes we do.....
"Is there anyone else out there who wants to find true love but is being ridiculed for having just a sex partner? "
To answer her question: I'm all for true love, but I would never have just a sex partner.
So that would be a NO I'm not being ridiculed... | |
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| he's just a sex partner..is that wrong?
Posted: 7/1/2008 4:40:11 PM | [Men will have NO COMPUNCTION whatsoever in telling whatever LIES it will take to get a woman into bed. So don't listen to any man here giving you s*** about your choices as a single woman... I'm sorry, but if any of these men have NEVER lied to a woman about sex, or never used a woman for sex, then I apologise, but I doubt that many could make that claim honestly.
In my experience, men tend to have one law for us and another for themselves - they are HYPOCRITES of the first order, ESPECIALLY when it comes to SEX!!!!]
Yea I promised I'd stay off here but I just had to add one more thing....
this is pretty strong language and a gross condemnation of men-all men will LIE to have sex??? Really? We are ALL hypocrites???. Pardon me while I take a few moments to flog myself.
This whole notion of women being "tricked" and "lied " to dis -empowers women and suggests that they are less than savvy,intelligent and instead are weak and highly gullible.
You can't be "tricked' unless you fall for the trick!
As a guy,I've been hurt and lied to and yes sometimes for sex,but I don't gender bash or condemn all women and engage in broad irresponsible rhetoric.
I suggest if you feel that strongly about the integrity of all men then you shouldn't be on a dating site looking for one.
I sincerely hope the OP is not reading any of this and instead is getting her brains ****ed out and next time she feels compelled to post on a forum she thinks a bit harder and gets ****ed instead.
Much healthier than enduring moralizing and judgement. | |
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| he's just a sex partner..is that wrong?
Posted: 7/1/2008 8:03:06 PM | Peekamoose,
Have you ever, in your life,lied to a woman about sex? If the answer is no, then I stand corrected: you are right and I am wrong.
By the way: I don't listen to anyone who tries to tell me what to do. I will do what I like, whether it is being on here looking for someone or not! At 42 years of age, no-one tells me how to think or how to live my life, unless it's my boss. But then he pays me, lol!
I have every right to my views, and you will not change them - one iota!!!
Finally, I do not believe that all men have no integrity. My sister's husband is a man of integrity, as are many others, friends of mine who are happily married - it is those men I am interested in, not the other type.
And for the record, I work in a male-dominated environment and hear unsavoury stories daily of men and their extra-curricular activities. I probably work with about 50-70 men and I can count on two hands the number of men who are NOT telling stories about which woman they had one night while they were away on business and their wife or girlfriend was at home waiting, not suspecting a thing. It is like an office sport!!! I'm surprised they don't go and put bets on it at the bookmakers.
I await your answer regarding sex and lies with interest......
Stargirl. | |
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| he's just a sex partner..is that wrong?
Posted: 7/1/2008 9:21:27 PM |
Why do you feel it its necessary to inform each man you meet about your 'friend'?
Exactly!! Why tell them.
If you get to the point with someone and you want to become intimate then you have a few choices. You could tell him about Michael or stop seeing Michael for a while to see if things work out with the new man. You could just see both of them without mentioning Michael but then you'd be starting out a potential relationship on the wrong foot as well as not really investing 100%.
I'd wait until you are in that position before you made that choice. Until then it's nobody's business. If he's not your boyfriend then you're not lying when you say you don't have one. | |
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| he's just a sex partner..is that wrong?
Posted: 7/2/2008 2:45:25 PM | Stargirl,I draw your attention to your own quote"Men will have NO COMPUNCTION whatsoever in telling whatever LIES it will take to get a woman into bed."
You didn't state SOME men which led me to assume a broad condemnation.
I thought long and hard about your question-whether or not I ever lied to a woman about sex.
First, none of this relates to the OP's post.She never raised the subject of lying.She discussed a sexual relationship with a guy-mutual and consensual,that's it.She did not enter into a broad general discourse about lying men.
As for my lying,I never lied to a woman in order to have sex with her,and I'm not sure what sort of lie I could manufacture that could convince a woman to have sex with me if she was thinking otherwise.
I have however omitted exact details of my sex life when I thought it appropriate. With concern to STD's,birth control etc I have been open and honest.I have nothing to hide,but I maintain a person has the right not to reveal every single detail about their former sex life.
What's garden variety to one person could seem kinky to another.
Regarding your co-workers,again this has nothing to do with the OP.
I feel you may have been better served starting a new thread.
But in the interest of a civil discussion,I work in a female dominated field.Women talk of their sexual exploits frequently.And SOME lie.And I have witnessed women abusing sexual harassment laws in alarming numbers.
Not long ago I had a POF date that lied about her marital status.
I mentioned in a former post I have been hurt and misled in my life by women,yet I avoid gender bashing and broad generalizations.
I beleive it's widely accepted that men and women have different sexual dynamics,but statistics show that both men and women can be unfaithful and some research suggests it's nearly 50-50.
Yes,men are the one's with "pick up" lines(not exclusively,women have them as well!) and may very well exaggerate or lie about their income or whatever
which then leaves a woman to be discerning.
I maintain women dis-enpower themselves by stating they can be "tricked" into bed.
Again,this is an entirely different subject than what the OP chose to write about. | |
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| he's just a sex partner..is that wrong?
Posted: 7/8/2008 6:46:05 PM | Peekamoose,
I apologise if I offended you. I am recovering from a very bad experience with a guy and unfortunately I made the mistake of tarring many men with the same brush.
I was overseas during the last few days - hence the late reply - during which time I had an epiphany, and realised there are many, many great men out there - that they are not all lying users.
I realise it is time to stop thinking this way and you are right in everything you say. Women are possibly often just as bad... they are just better at getting away with it!
However, I realise this is off-topic with regard to the OP but I wanted to respond to you after you took the trouble to write a reply to me.
Regards,
Cathy x | |
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| he's just a sex partner..is that wrong?
Posted: 7/8/2008 11:50:54 PM | Just finished reading through the entire thread. I think most people really don't give a flying flip if you are having sex with someone.
What most people have a problem with is someone trying to find a real relationship while screwing someone else at the same time.
Not very respectful of someone who maybe trying to find their soul mate. But instead are finding a player.
In my experience, men tend to have one law for us and another for themselves - they are HYPOCRITES of the first order, ESPECIALLY when it comes to SEX!!!!
Thats not the point, just because men maybe doing it too does not make it right. | |
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| he's just a sex partner..is that wrong?
Posted: 7/9/2008 7:20:19 AM |
well if your sleeping with him, then he is your boyfriend..NO he is not!!!!! Is there anyone else out there who wants to find true love but is being ridiculed for having just a sex partner?
OP: Well it's like this. If I started dating you and found out you were sleeping with some other guy while we're still getting to know you, I'd be gone in a flash...
If most men see him as your boyfriend it's because he's with you often enough (as you said a couple of times a week -Hell I don't even see my girlfriend that often some weeks.) then he's too big a part of your life for me to think he's gonna be gone as soon as you meet someone else...
I don't even want to kiss a girl who is banging some other dude when I'm not around...
Also there's the risk of STD's.... You might know or think the guy is safe... I don't... I am not taking unneccesary chances...
That would mean that even if you stopped seeing the guy the day you met me, it's still going to be 6 months before the second set of tests come back clean and we could start being intimate...
And he certainly would have to be out of the picture 100% if we started dating... I'd not want you running back to him because he's convenient if we had an argument.
So for all intents and purposes, you're stuck with him until you can close your legs long enough to find someone else... | |
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| he's just a sex partner..is that wrong?
Posted: 7/9/2008 7:36:30 AM |
I dont want anymore from him,,,and vice versa, but it seems like most of the men I talk to say...well if your sleeping with him,
How Gross ! | |
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