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| Do you believe friends are more important than lovers?
Posted: 10/23/2007 8:12:22 PM | Asking "what is more important your friends or lover" is not a realistic question.
Both are needed to lead a full life - some are just lucky enough to have found a friend and lover all wrapped up in one | |
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| Do you believe friends are more important than lovers?
Posted: 10/24/2007 7:14:45 AM | | I do believe that finding good friends are hard to come by. Lovers are a dime a dozen (Go to a bar you will see all the lovers you want to see) Because if you arent friends first you will never love your lovers. | |
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| Do you believe friends are more important than lovers?
Posted: 10/24/2007 7:53:40 AM |
"Lovers come and go but friends are forever."
Last time I came across this she was explaining to me why I needed to get over my feelings for her and that we never would be lovers.
The only way I could get over my feelings was to walk away from the friendship. Now we don't speak. So no. Apparently friends are not forever. | |
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| Do you believe friends are more important than lovers?
Posted: 10/24/2007 9:37:05 AM | Calray
Maybe not your experince, but all my close firnds have been recent & they are surrounded by frinds who have nknow them all their life..that's as close as forever aas one can get
As for the thread title...pass i don't have a opinion as ther more to life than a occaiosinal lover,\orgasm opportunuty\kiss&cuddle&affection session, no matter what your experince is. (I'm thinking of a person who told me she's been celibate 13 years after the passing away of here husband & she 'Needs It') | |
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| Do you believe friends are more important than lovers?
Posted: 10/24/2007 10:22:41 AM | Both are important, I wouldn't give up one for the other - presently I have friends that are very exceptional people, we have gone through numerous peaks and valleys in our lives and been there for each other, some of us have known each other from our teens and the bond has strengthened over time.
Most of these friends are married, and I have a strong friendship with their spouses as well. Fortunately none of my friends forget their friendships once they are with a guy, we still continue to spend time together. And you know the coolest thing is, their kids are amazed at our friendship and want to have something similar.
One could have a lover plus a friend - why not? Isn't this part of the package we all seek? | |
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| Do you believe friends are more important than lovers?
Posted: 10/24/2007 10:25:19 AM | | I am with Jay here .... I think No, because I will not have a lover who is not also a good friend. If I let someone so close to me he will be important and a friend also. I think people think that they don't have to like their lovers. I am still friends with all my past boyfriends | |
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| Do you believe friends are more important than lovers?
Posted: 10/24/2007 10:39:57 AM | I think it's equally difficult to find a good friend as it is to find a romantic partner. My close friends have been so for many years, they've been with me through thick and thin, they've been loyal and devoted no matter what. They are there before I find a romantic partner and they wll be there through it or after it should it come to that. So, I do not let my romantic life effect my friendships. It's very important to me that my S.O. accept them and vice versa. They will always be in my life... and I don't think it's right to have to choose one or the other nor do I think it's right to place more importance on one over the other. It is essential to have balance.
Ultimately, whoever I end up with will be my best friend in addition to being a lover and companion and would encourage me to continue to nurture my friendships in harmony with our relationship ~ just as I would with them. Friends are the family we choose. I am definitely the kind of person that will suggest to a bf to call up a buddy and go see them if it's been awhile since they have. I'm an avid supporter of keeping those friendships alive and well on both sides. | |
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| Do you believe friends are more important than lovers?
Posted: 10/24/2007 10:53:34 AM | duh! My friends mean the world to me.
You know what great friends are? Ones that show up at your place for your birthday and take you to the amusement park to ride the coasters even though it's 7°C and pouring rain. | |
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| Do you believe friends are more important than lovers?
Posted: 2/21/2008 4:54:05 PM | | I would like to know why this happens to you Quicksilver. Did you and those guys have feelings for each other first? A man in love wouldn't m ind being seen with his girlfriend in public, spending time with her, showing her to his friends (unless either is married) etc. If you loved each other more would it be different? (don't guys fall in love in Australia?) I would like another post from you here. As for the general question- a lover who is not on the same par as your friends (especially of the oppisite sex) isn't worth it, IMHO. :) | |
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| Do you believe friends are more important than lovers?
Posted: 2/21/2008 5:22:51 PM | Yes, I do believe friends are more important than lovers!
Only because I have few friends but the few I do have I wouldn't trade for ten thousand! they have ben there for me all my life and nothing or nobody could ever come between us!
In a relationship I do see more of my partner than my friends but if a friend needed me an I had a date booked I'd go see my friend in need! | |
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| Do you believe friends are more important than lovers?
Posted: 2/21/2008 6:20:26 PM | I too have been puzzled by this. Does a parent feel one child is more important than the other?
Love is abundant - we don't run out.
I do not see this as either/or... all bring great gifts to me and I to them. | |
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| Do you believe friends are more important than lovers?
Posted: 2/21/2008 6:48:01 PM | There is more than one question here....
1. Are friends more important than a lover
2. Are friends more important than a boyfriend/girlfriend
3. Are friends more important than a husband/wife
1. Assuming that a lover is simply someone is having sex with, with little other commitment or involvement (such as monogamy), then a friend is much more important.
2. If comparing to a boyfriend/girlfriend, we could thin slice this to microscopic levels based on involvement and commitment...But for the sake of the discussion, let's say it is a long term involvement....I am going to say more important than a friend, as this person not only is a friend by this point as well, but has likely also shared physical intimacy with you....you can't get much closer than this...and (imo) once you are sexually active with a person and made that physical commitment you have given a part of yourself that few people (hopefully) will ever know.....again imo, to give this part of yourself the person SHOULD be more important than a friend.
3. Husband or wife...no contest...they SHOULD be more important than a friend...you have choosen this person to become one unit with...and for many people (including myself) this means that this ONE person will be building a life with you, living alongside you, sharing a bed, a home, a mortgage, children...if a friend is more important than your husband or wife, the relationship (imo) is in big trouble.
Notice I often said in my opinion...this is how I feel...you can disagree...it is ok...I won't be mad and I will still respect your opinion....
None of this is to say that friends aren't important, because they are...and some do last longer than marriages...however, I wonder, if a man and a woman placed their spouse above EVERYONE else, how few marriages would end in failure.....? | |
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| Do you believe friends are more important than lovers?
Posted: 2/21/2008 7:01:49 PM | | They're both important in different ways. I think viewing it in terms of "more important" is the wrong turn to take. They're different relationships with different dynamics...plain and simple. | |
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| Do you believe friends are more important than lovers?
Posted: 2/21/2008 7:02:57 PM | i think they're important on their own levels.
if my friends ever tell me to stop dating the guy, yes, i'd consider their inputs... i'd consider it a lot. if my bf tells me to stop seeing my friend, i'll consider leaving him...i'd consider it a lot.
if my friends tell me i haven't been spending time with them, i'll make the effort. if my bf tells me i haven't been spending time with him, i'll make the time. granted, even my own friends "make the effort". if they ditch me for their s.o.'s then they can wait on me as well. though...in the end...when *in need*...i will put them first...if that made sense.
then again...if it's the my hubby...i'm almost ready to leave all my friends behind just for him. granted...this is *the man* i chose to live my life with, and completely trust.
then again, the bf who even dares to asks me to chose between him and my friends...will be my future ex. | |
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| Do you believe friends are more important than lovers?
Posted: 2/21/2008 7:33:25 PM |
I too have been puzzled by this. Does a parent feel one child is more important than the other?Love is abundant - we don't run out. I do not see this as either/or... all bring great gifts to me and I to them.
I love how your mind works woman!...I wouldn't give up my friends for my lover. I have lifelong friends and my pally's are some of the longest most successful relationships of my life. So ya I have said men come and go but kids and friends are forever.... ehh and I will probably will say it again! | |
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| Do you believe friends are more important than lovers?
Posted: 2/21/2008 7:36:56 PM |
Are your friends more important to you than a boyfriend or girlfriend (or wife or husband, for that matter)?
I don’t do “lovers” and it would be foolish to dump your friends for someone you hardly know ,or with whom you have no long-range plans for commitment. However, when it comes to a devoted long term mate or husband, he would absolutely, unequivocally come before friends. This does not mean that I would forsake my friends, but they would definitely take a backseat to the man I choose to spend my life with. | |
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| Do you believe friends are more important than lovers?
Posted: 2/21/2008 7:48:45 PM | | No, i dont agree,if you are in love then your best friend should be your partner. Your partner will stand by you in times of trouble,would gladly take your pain away on to them just to give you a break from it,would die for you if they could.Nothing is more important than your partner.(just my veiw) | |
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| Do you believe friends are more important than lovers?
Posted: 2/21/2008 8:05:53 PM | u dont compare at all
u talkin two separate entities
if u have a man u gotta give him his just respect while ur datin him
friends will understand if they r true friends
if u cant juggle both man and friends then u got a problem
kathi | |
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| Do you believe friends are more important than lovers?
Posted: 2/21/2008 8:13:04 PM | Real-Me, you do come up with some good threads....so...to answer your question: What is better to be friends or be lovers?
I won't settle for less than...my man being my friend and my lover....he'll be my lovely friend AND my friendly lover.  | |
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| Do you believe friends are more important than lovers?
Posted: 2/21/2008 8:15:44 PM |
Do you think good friends are harder to find than good romantic partners?
i think they are equally difficult to find. with the exception that you can have more than one true friend, then yes in a way friends would be easier to find, but yet it doesn't mean they will be a true friend...
"Lovers come and go but friends are forever."
i agree with this saying; however!! - LOVERS come and go....when it comes down to the possibility that a person could be the one, this statement only means so much...
for myself personally, its about an equal balance. not necessarily that they are both equal priorities....eerrrr.....my friends are my blood, but if im with someone im dead serious about - then yes, that person is held on a higher pedestal.
my friends and i have independant lives, whereas my "s.o" and i would share our lives on a daily basis. so to me, it would be wrong to keep them at the same level as my friends.  | |
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