| Would it be cheating if your partner was having webcam sex with other people?
Posted: 10/24/2007 8:41:37 AM | I don't think the point here is whether we label it is cheating or not. As soon as you attach a word to an action the discussion looses focus and it becomes one of interpretation of a word.
The question I think is whether this is acceptable to your girlfriend or not. From what you say clearly it is not.
It would not be alright for me to behave that way in a relationship because I would not want my partner to do the same.
However there are relationships were that would be acceptable. I think it is up to the individuals to set the parameters of their own relationship. Some people have totally open relationships where even sexual intercourse with other people is acceptable.
It is not for anyone to judge other peoples relationships. However it is important for each individual to stay within the parameters of the relationship they are in.
Your girlfriend needs to find someone who has the same beliefs as her. It is unlikely the guy she is with now will change. However that is her decision and I wish her the best!
armand | |
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| Would it be cheating if your partner was having webcam sex with other people?
Posted: 10/24/2007 9:59:41 AM | My friend is in a funny situation and I'm curious about the responses here on this. My friend found out that her boyfriend likes to join chatrooms and have webcam sex with annoymous females where he'll jack off on one cam and the female will be naked on her cam. Since the act is not really physical, would you count that as cheating? Personally I wouldn't be really bothered until something like that gets physical, to the point where he's actually meeting women from online for sex. I mean in a sense, it's sorta like him looking at porn, only it's a live female on cam. Anyway she's upset but do you think webcam sex is really a big deal when you're in a relationship?-1UniquePerson
Personally, I think people should be clear about what is okay/not okay, at the very beginning of a relationship,
rather than assuming they are on the same page & then being surprised when problems occur. There's lots of
different people out there, who are into many different things & for a long-term relationship to work, common
values & compatibility are important factors.
Personally, I'd NEVER put up with a guy who looks at porn (video or pics), or has cyber with other chicks. As far
as masturbating goes, I know it is "supposedly normal" & for single guys, well it kind-of is like in the "it's in the
past, so just ignore it" category, for me, anyway. But I would find it unacceptable in a relationship, because it
clearly implies that either I am not capable of satisfying him, which is BULL$hit, or he has committment &/or
intimacy issues that make him incapable of being a good partner.
But that's my opinion & it only applies to me. Like I said, people really need to talk, before they get into a
relationship, to understand each others wants/ & needs. | |
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de4u2
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Joined: 9/7/2007
Msg: 53 | |
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| Would it be cheating if your partner was having webcam sex with other people?
Posted: 10/24/2007 7:25:35 PM | I would consider this cheating. When in a relationship we are supposed to be honest and faithful to our partner.
If he can get naked on cam, think what he would do if an opportunity to have intercourse happened. Do you think he would turn down that? I don't think he would have the willpower to not. You could say that any man would but not every man would put themselves in that situation. Tempting yourself like that in a relationship is only creating a bigger problem to come.
There is obviously something lacking in this relationship and it is clear trust is one thing. To go behind your partners back and get naked in person or not is clearly not right. Anything sexual with someone other than your partner be it webcam, phone etc is cheating. Thats like saying you are on a diet and eating burgers everyday with light mayo on them...you are just kidding yourselves. | |
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ngat73
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Joined: 6/10/2007
Msg: 55 | |
| Would it be cheating if your partner was having webcam sex with other people?
Posted: 10/24/2007 7:36:48 PM | Geez...and I thought I was open minded. If I were to find out that my boyfriend was doing this and dependent upon the relations, there are two possible reactions.
(1) The reasonable me with sound mind would think: Obviously, I am not enough and can't fulfill his needs and we should not be together and seperate. Apparently we are not communicating enough here and he has already crosssed the line.
(2) The emotional and spontaneous and crazy me would think: Let's cut off his balls! Or simply to avoid incarceration I would have to sleep with his Dad, brother, BF or someone close to him. He he he. :)
Therefore, yes it is cheating and I would feel really pathetic to be dating a guy that had to do this. Really, we could have communicated better to make sure both people have their needs taken care of "together". I mean, I don't really think my man would have time to have web cam sex with some strange chic, she is a real person on the other end. I don't swing so this would be out of the question.
However, this is a good tool to use for long-distance relations or when your man is away with you.
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| Would it be cheating if your partner was having webcam sex with other people?
Posted: 10/24/2007 8:05:39 PM | | I dont quite know if your friends boyfriend is aware that she knows he does this. Me personally, I would be a bit bothered if my girlfriend was doing that with some random dude on a webcame. And if he is aware that she knows, and he says its no big deal, when then its simple: Tell her to strip down, jump on a webcam and go at it for some random dude and let him catch her in the act. Then see how he feels | |
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| Would it be cheating if your partner was having webcam sex with other people?
Posted: 10/25/2007 6:23:38 AM |
well put esad... i agree totaly.....
Could you be more specific?
I could not find the relationship between...
1. Sharing full nudity with a real person on a web cam or other wise.
2. Reaching orgasm with that other person watching.
3. Although not specified possibly the woman also reaching orgasm.
4. Possibly getting in a relationship with this individual. (not so far fetched since many online relationships start that way judging by the people I know)
…and the other examples esad gives. It seems to me this action falls under a more serious category.
I am an open minded person and would have no problem with a relationship that had some open boundaries.
However it seems to me the problem in this case is that the female partner in this relationship does not see it the way we do. To address the question is to say she is or she is not entitled to the type of relationship she seeks.
I believe there are a lot of men who have no desire to masturbate on cam. She could find someone to love who is more like her.
armand | |
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| Would it be cheating if your partner was having webcam sex with other people?
Posted: 10/25/2007 8:04:22 AM | This is not a black and white issue. Is this just masturbation or something more?
Some people might say that if you masturbate and fantasize about someone else you are cheating. Others could care less.
hiding and Liking might not be a total indication that it is cheating. How many couple hide that they masturbate? they might even lie about it. You come home from work or golf or whatever ask your SO Hi hon what did you do this afternoon? she says oh hung out did my nails worked in the garden She did not say Iwas so hornyI got off with the shower message. | |
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| Would it be cheating if your partner was having webcam sex with other people?
Posted: 10/25/2007 8:39:24 AM | Surely it would ONLY be cheating if a) their partner didnt know about it and b) they knew or suspected their partner wouldnt approve of it
The act itself isnt cheating as some people would be quite turned on if a partner was doing it with their knowledge
The cheating aspect is more to do with HOW its done, under what circumstances, what degree of openness and honesty and what they think their partners reaction to it would be
The person doing something like this cant define whether its cheating or not themselves because its not being dont across them, and as they want to do it they will obviously slant their appraisel of it to suit continuation
Their partner is the only person who can realistically say whether, in their mind they feel cheated on | |
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| Would it be cheating if your partner was having webcam sex with other people?
Posted: 10/25/2007 12:33:17 PM | This is the 21st centuries answer to playboy magazine.. which I think lots of guys will admit to buying for the pleasuring of ones self... the reading of the articles comes after the bordom of seeing the same nakid body over and over and they are unable to get the same arousal from the bunnies therein.
I myself never felt that my husband was cheating when he enjoyed his private time with the air-brushed beauties in these magazines. Yes, it was never hidden from me, so I guess thats what I'm alluding to here. I suppose if I became second place to the magazines, I would certainly feel cheated on. He still has many of those magazines from the 70's and they are apparently worth quite a bit of money.
Would the boyfriend be unconfortable if the girlfriend was to watch what went on during these camming sessions?
bottom line is, I guess, is that if it bothers her, and he is unwilling to stop or include her (if she is in agreement to try that) then it's cheating. I believe it is also cheating if he doing it with the same woman on many occasions and starts to build a more emotional bond with is camming partner.
I've never cammed though, so I'm just going by my gut here.
Edit to Clair2282... I agree - I was editing my post to that effect at the time of your post. | |
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| Would it be cheating if your partner was having webcam sex with other people?
Posted: 10/25/2007 10:45:12 PM | thats an excuse. why wouldnt you have your woman there if you like looking at other women? i wouldnt call this lady my woman, if i was a man and doing that.
a more accurate description is woman thats hangin around me, kinda likes me, attatched, i use her when she wants me. clearly her personality doesnt mean that much . and clearly a woman would be bothered.
if a guy wants to live in his fantasy world then ur place to be is parties orgies and webcam sex but to have osmoen as a gf/bf and have intimacy and relationships?
it is either on e or the other. fantasies or relationships.
jk. did i actually say that? u just wantsomeonew approval for watchin it cuz maynbe ur scared. do wat works why u tryin to get me involved? | |
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| Would it be cheating if your partner was having webcam sex with other people?
Posted: 10/26/2007 6:23:22 AM | There seem to be a lot of very narrow minded people coming out of the woodwork on this thread
But heres a question, if someones partner didnt mind them wanking on webcam, if they actually got turned on by it infact and did the exact same thing themselves too then how can this be "definitely cheating"??
The answer for anyone with a brain is that it CANT be
Its amazing how many self absorbed arrogantly pious people there are considering we are into the second millenium. Just because something isnt to YOUR liking doesnt mean that you hold the universally undeniable view on the activity despite what you might deludedly fantasise is the case
Cybersex will for some couples be no big deal, will be known about and discussed openly and wont be cheating in any way, shape or form
For other couples it WONT be acceptable, so if one of them knows this and then does it anyway in secret THEN its a betrayal of trust and respect and could be considered to be cheating
The view the partner whose back its being done behind is the ONLY person who can say whether in their eyes its cheating or not, even the person doing it doesnt have any right to make the decision because it isnt being done behind their back | |
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| Would it be cheating if your partner was having webcam sex with other people?
Posted: 10/26/2007 8:10:52 AM | I'm sure that if that WAS what they wanted they probably would, so obviously its not
Or, their girlfriend is severely repressed and things men masturbating at all is just DIIIIIIISGUSTING which is also not that uncommon
People are diverse and such a narrow minded view as that one doesnt encompass more than a tiny fraction of a percent of people | |
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