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| If a woman asks a man out shoud he expect sex?
Posted: 10/24/2007 4:31:03 PM | OMG! I feel pretty naive here (I am recently back on the market after a 1o year marriage, in my defense). I make first contact on POF all the time, didn't realize guys might think I want to have sex with them immediately! Sometimes I tell them in my little hello message that I think they are good looking or include some sort of other flirty compliment. I would have zero problem asking a guy out but, I guess he's in for a disappointment if he thinks he's getting laid on the first date. Never really dreamed a guy would think that. I realize that sounds naive but, there it is! | |
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| If a woman asks a man out shoud he expect sex?
Posted: 10/24/2007 5:00:28 PM | | I believe that neither men or women should have any expectations of sex it shoudn't matter who asks who out on the date. I believe it better to have little to no expectations except for the hope of a nice evening. This way you're less likely to be disappointed. | |
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svj
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Joined: 9/15/2007
Msg: 56 | |
| If a woman asks a man out shoud he expect sex?
Posted: 10/25/2007 10:19:01 AM | Willow55:
I understood him to mean that he doesn't have sex with women as casually as some. He actually thinks a relationship or something more than a one night stand is appropriate.. I think you missed his point. I don't think I did.
The post you're referring to:
Quite frankly, if I don't have it in my head that I want to wake up with her, make breakfast, spend the day/weekend together, then I have to ask exactly why I'm allowing myself to drift into this emotionally compromising situation. clearly states that he "has it in his head" that he wants to "wake up with her", and "spend the day/weekend together".
If that's not projecting forward his own expectations onto her.... I don't know what is.
There is a thread currently running around by David D.'s sales department schills about what it is that guys do to screw up first dates. While you almost certainly disagree with his solution, the description of the problem (Men put way too much pressure on themselves by considering every woman they date a potential mate/wife on the first date) is 100% balls-on accurate.
As for the original posting... I stand by my original position.
If a woman asks a man out:
He should not "expect" sex, in the sense that he's entitled to it.
But he should "expect" it, in the sense of being prepared, because if she's forward enough to jump our society's normal courting procedures once, it's quite likely she'll be willing to do it again. | |
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| If a woman asks a man out shoud he expect sex?
Posted: 10/25/2007 10:24:23 AM | Apparently..... alot of men do expect sex, but they shouldn't. If they wanted to get themselves a good gal they gotta think twice before considering sex. Or they won't see the gal ever again, alot of women don't like to be taken advantage for sex til they feel ready.
So, (any of you) guys really don't want no disappointments, choose wisely and you'd get better results. | |
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| If a woman asks a man out shoud he expect sex?
Posted: 10/25/2007 10:30:48 AM | Perfect screen name! You most certainly have an "Attitude" ~
 I realize you are just making a joke ( I hope so, anways) But point taken.
To address the original question: I think it all depends --but no expections should be made -- or assumed. | |
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| If a woman asks a man out shoud he expect sex?
Posted: 10/25/2007 10:37:56 AM | You didn't say where the two were going "out" to. If it's a first dinner date, the man can expect anything he wants afterwards, that doesn't mean his expectations will, nor should they, be fulfilled. 
But if it's the twentieth time this same woman has asked him out, and he hasn't reciprocated in kind, then he should expect to get laid out, that's all I'm saying.....
Pink | |
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eazk
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Joined: 9/8/2006
Msg: 62 | |
| If a woman asks a man out shoud he expect sex?
Posted: 10/25/2007 10:43:54 AM | SVJ~ Yes you did...big time... You implied I didn't want to meet them first. Nothing could be further from the truth. Dating is fun and I take positive steps to ensure a fun environment, and that includes first dates.
And yes, after getting to know someone and seeing if we both pass the Chemistry 101 exams, we'll see where things go. My point was (and Willow~ understood it properly) is that even if a woman suggests we get together, I don't jump to conclusions about bedding down for the night. I want to get to know someone well enough that I want to actually have an emotional attachment before heading towards the bedroom (or fireplace, patio or stairwell  ).
I simply don't even remotely consider LTR on the first date. And dude, you so completely missed the point on this that it makes me wonder what perspective is driving your thought process. Relax, don't overlay someone else's words with your own thought processes so aggressively.
&BTW, the David D. reference comment...yeah...spot on. Way too many guys think they've met the love of their life before they even sense each others scent. | |
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| If a woman asks a man out shoud he expect sex?
Posted: 10/25/2007 10:52:36 AM | | Are they really "expecting" sex? Or are they hopefully wishing it happens? I have always asked men out. Whats the big deal? I'm up front that it's not about sex. What they hopefully wish for is their problem. I have to honestly admit I ask because first there is a sexual attraction for me. But that can last 5 minutes once they open up their mouth. | |
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| If a woman asks a man out shoud he expect sex?
Posted: 10/25/2007 10:56:15 AM | | No. You are probably getting your responses because its a big deal for women to ask men out...steps outside of that 'fairytale', she must really be into him yadda yadda... and probably so. But it does not mean she will have sex with him. If you click like that and she wants to have sex she will if he asked her out or she asked him out. | |
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| If a woman asks a man out shoud he expect sex?
Posted: 10/25/2007 1:27:28 PM | There was only one reason as to why I decided to ask a few men out. It was because I began to feel that maybe I might be able to make better 'choices' as to the possibility of a picking a good 'match' than many of the men I dated could.
Had nothing to do with being forward or outside of the norm. | |
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eazk
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Joined: 9/8/2006
Msg: 66 | |
| If a woman asks a man out shoud he expect sex?
Posted: 10/25/2007 1:51:33 PM | And in they end, they may not be "expecting" sex, but it would take a total idiot to not realize the chances of having whatever develop into something more and eventually lead to sex is much higher when the woman has already indicated an interest in you by preemptively asking you out.
Of course, she is wanting to get to know you better...to see if you have what she's looking for in a man, but the good news is, you've cleared the first hurdle, you don't have to wonder how to say 'hello'.
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| If a woman asks a man out shoud he expect sex?
Posted: 10/25/2007 3:20:55 PM | | I dont think anyone should ever expect sex. Doesnt matter if its a first date.. or you've been married for 10 years. Peoples attitudes and desires can change in an instant.. and for an infinate number of reasons. Once you understand and accept that concept.. then when you do have sex.. its always totally natural.. spontanious.. and exciting. | |
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| If a woman asks a man out shoud he expect sex?
Posted: 10/25/2007 3:31:09 PM | I heard this in a movie once, "Where there's hope, there's life", lol.
Expect, no.
Wish for? Sure, why not.
Edit: Ladies I've just read more of this thread. Believe it or not there are a number of ladies out there that are hoping for sex too. Don't be thinking all women just want to be held, lol. That's soooo not the case. | |
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| If a woman asks a man out shoud he expect sex?
Posted: 10/25/2007 3:55:48 PM |
nomadd77 wrote: If a woman asks you out, she is definately trying to trick you into having sex with her.
OMG! You have got to be kidding me!! Please tell me this was meant sarcastically and I somehow missed the part where you were signaling as much. | |
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| If a woman asks a man out shoud he expect sex?
Posted: 10/25/2007 3:59:01 PM | Seems to me that men always expect sex, want sex, accept sex, any way anyhow they can get it.
Nobody has the right to expect anything from anyone.
If it is not freely offered and freely accepted, I, personally don't want it. | |
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| If a woman asks a man out shoud he expect sex?
Posted: 10/25/2007 4:53:20 PM | Of course guys should not and do not expect sex just because the woman asked them out. That's just silly. That kind of thinking paints all guys as sex fiends. Also , it makes women more leary about taking chances . Not good .
However , it is no secret that guys are sexually driven . That's natural . The thing is that many guys want more than sex and to connect on a deeper level and have intimacy and have a deeper relationship than just the physical aspect alone .
It's up to women to sort out what a guy is after . People have to judge a person on their character . If women can't tell a player from someone who wants something deeper then they are in trouble. | |
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| If a woman asks a man out shoud he expect sex?
Posted: 10/25/2007 5:11:44 PM | Don't know if it's still around, did any of you read the "dating contract" thread?
It's almost sadly amusing the lengths that people will go to that just don't understand how people interact. Not saying it's bad or good...but dang!!
Relationships of any type aren't mandatory. That said, I acknowledge and accept it's a human need to have them. If not, solitary confinement wouldn't be punishment.
It's a matter of extremes...here's what works for me from my own personal experience.
Outside of family...ehh...even that sometimes is a choice, if it's not an abusive situation.
I've had it happen, you make a casual approach, get involved in conversation. Have a potential interest...only my experience but it's been the extreme of "I wouldn't date any woman who'd ask a man out"..from just an email. Or the more common experience, at least to me, where they almost fall all over themselves...WAY too excited...she WANTS me...I'm gonna get LAID!! Sorry, guys, that's just my own experience...thankfully I've been able to either disappear or pass them off to someone else. Never did that again...I know it doesn't happen often, but until men can learn how to respond somewhat appropriately..I laugh at all the threads about why women don't approach men more. Well there you have it, and I've learned that many other women have the same response. Hence this THREAD!!  | |
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| If a woman asks a man out shoud he expect sex?
Posted: 10/25/2007 5:46:30 PM |
Edit: Ladies I've just read more of this thread. Believe it or not there are a number of ladies out there that are hoping for sex too. Don't be thinking all women just want to be held, lol. That's soooo not the case.
A lot of us want sex.. we just don't all want it on a first date. Who asks who on the date doesn't matter, sex should be a mutual decision, not an expectation by one party. | |
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