| Are you comfortable enough to be by yourself without feeling lonely?
Posted: 12/15/2007 12:05:35 PM | Rune and a Good Year.....EXACTLY!
It's our lives....we live once...don't you want to make the most of a loving relationship....why be miserable with someone who doesn't make us happy, let alone isn't happy w/himself?
I would love to fall in love again with someone who accepts me, FOR ME. Why is this so hard and why are you trying to change me? I dated a guy for several years who knew I smoked from day one...3 years later he's telling me it bothers him!
I think we place too many expectations on people and when they don't happen, BAM! we give up.
Bullshit...a relationship is work, and if you don't want to work on it, don't get involved. | |
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| Are you comfortable enough to be by yourself without feeling lonely?
Posted: 12/15/2007 12:31:26 PM | | I agree with many of the posters...I enjoy my own company, prefer it actually to many, lol. Still, there are times when I wish I had someone to talk to over the age of 14 late at night, lol. I have friends that I talk with, I go out and do things when I can afford it, but it isn't the same as having a special someone in your life. Do I get lonely...sometimes...can I handle being alone...absolutely. I don't think it's so much a matter of can you be comfortable by yourself without feeling lonely...most people can from time to time. It's more about what we prefer....I love being alone at times, but I would still prefer to share my life with some special guy, not because I need to or have to, I just want to. | |
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| Are you comfortable enough to be by yourself without feeling lonely?
Posted: 12/15/2007 12:46:41 PM | | I was married for 37 yrs....have been widowed for nine ....Yes I'm alone and NOT lonely......good friends wonderful family, takes up the slake...Are there times when I would appreciate a SO? Yes, he could even spend occassional weekends...but 24/7 noooo way. | |
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| Are you comfortable enough to be by yourself without feeling lonely?
Posted: 12/15/2007 1:04:20 PM | I went about a year in a half without dating, and most of that time was by choise. Staying alone with out being loney shows heaps of self confidence. As I am happy with myself, I love myself, I don't need to have someone hanging around me reminding me how good I am at things.
To share myself and mylife would be nice. I've already spent too much time in relationships just for the sake of being in a relationship. | |
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| Are you comfortable enough to be by yourself without feeling lonely?
Posted: 12/15/2007 1:44:45 PM | I love the control I have over my life being alone.
My money is mine and not shared.
Someone else doesnt own half of my home.
I have loads of hobbies to keep me busy.
Going from the dates I have had women are just not worth the hassle any longer. | |
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| Are you comfortable enough to be by yourself without feeling lonely?
Posted: 12/15/2007 1:49:19 PM | My personal experience and the restult from formal research produce the same result
1/ Happiest people are happily married
2/ Second is the long term single
3/ Divorced
4/ Unhappily married.
So single isn't too bad. I'm thinking right now of the alternatives.
- If I was happily married I may well have a woman over my shoulder intereseted in a little more sex.
= If Iwas in a dud mariage the same woman would be screaming abuse at my "wasting time" on the computer.
Puts things in perspective. | |
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| Are you comfortable enough to be by yourself without feeling lonely?
Posted: 12/23/2007 11:51:46 AM | I think it's VERY important to feel comfortable and happy with yourself to be alone and not have the feeling of being lonely.
I feel it's a most before going into a relationship. After all you do need to have a happy heart, mind and soul before your can give part of yourself to someone   | |
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vosche
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Joined: 1/6/2007
Msg: 135 | |
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| Are you comfortable enough to be by yourself without feeling lonely?
Posted: 12/23/2007 12:05:46 PM | | I love me and I love my company and learned a long time ago to give time to the community in which I live so with a business and rentals and I make it a point to surround myself with things that keep me busy and alive and gives me a zest for living. | |
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| Are you comfortable enough to be by yourself without feeling lonely?
Posted: 12/23/2007 12:08:48 PM |
Yeah.. I just miss the sex.
A LOT.
That's not to say that being in a relationship is bad or undesirable, but apart from the sex. I'm good either way.
EM, I agree that missing the sex is the worst part of being single. If I had to go without that too, I'd probably have a much harder time with it. Turns out it's one of the main things I even like about a relationship. I can pretty much get by without the rest.... | |
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| Are you comfortable enough to be by yourself without feeling lonely?
Posted: 12/23/2007 12:11:26 PM |
My friends and my pets keep me as busy as I want to be. I really liked being married too, WAY back when, but now I don't 'fear' being alone, it's good too.
Not to change the subject, but you say you are from Mission Viejo. I read somewhere where a list of the most dangerous cities in the US and Detroit was the worst. And on the list they placed as the SAFEST, Mission Viejo. So enjoy. | |
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| Are you comfortable enough to be by yourself without feeling lonely?
Posted: 12/23/2007 1:39:02 PM | Short answer no! Okay, I'm older than most of the posters here, and perhaps can't relate to the question the same as most of you...but then, maybe most you can't relate to my experiences either. I've had a long and good marriage. I've lost a loved one to death. I face the reality that 3/4ths of my life is gone.
I am a pretty happy person, but I am not comfortable being by myself. I never want to get comfortable with it. I don't understand why some of you do. I don't understand why many seem to wear their aloneness like a badge of courage. What is wrong with being lonely?
I miss all the aspects of intimately loving someone....sharing thoughts and ideas with your "other", hugs and kisses anytime you feel like, having a constant companion, having someone to depend on and who depends on you, sharing labor, keeping each other warm at night, someone to help you when you are sick, sharing joy of children and grandchildren, sharing fun of traveling, helping each other with frustrations at work, someone to help you get through bad times, someone to grow old with, ....on and on.....
Being lonely is what drives me to expend the energy to find someone. That is why I'm on this dating site. I would think nearly everyone on the dating site is here to find someone, yet many are so quick to point out that they are not lonely, they are comfortable being alone, they don't need a man/woman, they like their freedom, their independence, their alone time, their solitude.
I'm not saying anyone can't be happy being alone. I'm not saying that I'm willing to settle for anything less than the right woman for me. I'm saying that, for me, being lonely is a natural response that compels many of us to seek out life mates, and its not something I'm afraid to say, or that I think shows any weakness. Tell me where I'm wrong!  | |
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| Are you comfortable enough to be by yourself without feeling lonely?
Posted: 12/23/2007 1:47:50 PM | | That's a good question - one my single girlfriends and I talk about all the time... For me, I think I'm kinda like you Huggles whereas I really don't mind it -- I was in a marriage for 12 years then straight into a 7 year relationship -- now I have been alone for 2 years.... I haven't even looked for anyone until I started this site last November or October... Regardless, I like it -- I like the selfish time alone, the fact that I don't have to consider anyone else's feelings, I can go where I want when I want without having to answer a barrage of questions... I guess, being a Gemini, I can entertain myself... LOL... But, on the other hand there I nights that I really would like someone to hold on too... Someone to love.... But, for being alone is not a big deal --I'm waiting for the real deal here -- I don't have to jump into a relationship just to be in a relationship... Today, I would rather be alone then in something sick... So, I'll keep on keepin on and see what God and POF has in store.... LOL... | |
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| Are you comfortable enough to be by yourself without feeling lonely?
Posted: 12/23/2007 1:55:03 PM | | bigksbear.The original post// are you comfortable enough to be by yourself without feeling lonely!!!!! I think you may be misintrepreting that for the most part. I dont think its that we dont want a SO in our lives or we would't be here. It's that we are content enough with who we are not to settle just for the sake of not being alone. Being alone without feeling loney does not necessarily constitue wanting to be alone. It just mean its ok if you are. I dont think I would want a SO that wasnt comfortable enough to be by himself if need be. GOOD LUCK ON YOUR SEARCH TO FIND THAT SPECIAL SOMEONE. | |
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| Are you comfortable enough to be by yourself without feeling lonely?
Posted: 12/23/2007 5:22:44 PM | I am relearning to deal with this. I find that I have to relearn after every serious relationship. I actually did real well after my divorce. It has the been the relationships in the last 3 years that have caused me the most difficulty.
I do a lot of things alone. But damn it sure is lonely in the bed at night! | |
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| Are you comfortable enough to be by yourself without feeling lonely?
Posted: 12/23/2007 5:47:26 PM | | Many years ago I craved someone in my life because I measured myself by who I had in my life. As I've become older (and hopefully wiser) I realize that the measure of a person is his/her perceptions that lie within the person. And those perceptions are quite good in my case. I like myself very much and enjoy the solitude of my own company and my own thoughts. I believe in the laws of positive attraction. I have attracted amazing people as friends since I've adopted this philosophy. I also believe that, for me, settling is far worse than being alone. Who wants to look into the eyes of someone and wonder, for the rest of their lives, why am I with this person? I saw someone very near and dear to me do that and when she died I know she felt she wasted her life. That person was my mother. No, being alone is neither a crime nor a form of social leprosy. It's a choice and in some cases a very good choice. When it comes to a relationship I want it all and would much rather be alone than be with someone who did not stimulate me mentally, physically, emotionally or spiritually. | |
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