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| Single parents I have a question........
Posted: 10/28/2007 9:40:14 AM | let me start this post with this tidbit, my son has ADD and is now 19 and in college. when the teachers started telling me there was a problem, i began to read and investigate all aspects of learning disabilities, development, etc. i interviewed numerous doctors, professionals, parents, etc, before i even agreed to have him tested. as well, i didnt accept what the school was saying in regards to their findings from the testing. i had him independantly accessed by a psychologist who our pediatrician recommended and who specialized in learning disorders in minority children. he too saw the obvious bias toward african american male children. i did enough research to write a dissertation on the matter. LOL, so my information here is from that research and certainly wont fit into everyones situation.
registeredwoman??
i have to really disagree with you on that age thing.
""If this problem has just started, you can rule out ADHD, as this problem starts when they start walking and talking.""
consider the following.
adhd, doesnt always have the "H" factor, in that not all kids have the hyperactivity aspect. and if its a matter of it being a "slight" hyperactivity how on earth can you expect a valid honest diagnosis of a disorder that is about an attention deficit and activity factor in a 5 yr old?
there is a disproportionate number of boys to girls getting diagnosed with adhd in this country and an even higher number of minority boys than any other section of the population.
in a normal child, the attention span differs with age. as the child matures their attention span gets longer and by the time they reach, on average, late 3rd grade, they have matured into the ability to sit still and not be disruptive and will pay attention in a classroom setting. children before that age often have to be drawn back to task and have the activity in classroom change more frequently. I still hold the contention that there is a direct coorolation between a kids diet and lifestyle and the attention disorders we are seeing today. in most cases if you limit the ammount of processed foods and lean toward a more whole foods approach to diet, then you will see a marked improvement in their behavior. As well, kids need to be more physically active. we are raising a generation of couch potatoes who lack the ability to entertain themselves outside of digital media.
my post is a cautionary tale.
we should not be accepting blindly the comments from school that little jonny has a learning disability. i would caution you to evaluate aspects of the childs life that could be leading to having behavioral issues at school. sometimes is the ppl they are around frequently. sometimes it can be as simple as a parent who is yelling and cursing all the time. or it could be a matter of diet and exercise. could be that the kid has little structure in his/her life outside of school so they have no base of reference on how to be attentive in a school setting. things like a set bedtime and routine are important as well as when the child wakes up. rountines are an intigral part of a childs development and behavior.
one thing that should be known too,, by federal law,, under the americans with disabilities act, children who do have a valid dianosis of any behavior or learning disability are protected by this act of congress. further they are to have full access to the public educational process. when they get to college, because they have a valid dx, they will have available to them, funding to further their education. a dx of adhd doesnt cut them off at the knees so to speak about getting an eduaction.
one point i seriously want to pass along... the schools and any person connected with elematary thru secondary public education are by law prohibited from having any conversation with you about pharmecutical therapy. even if you bring it up, and want to talk to them they are prohibited. they can recommend you talk to your pediatrician about treatment options, but basically thats the phrase type they should be using.
it just seems that the schools would rather dope up our kids than to have to deal honestly with them. there are methods to teach an active imagination and active kid without doping them up. kids with add and adhd are some of the brightest and smartest. and ya cant tell me different, the kids in my sons class, and he was mainstreamed, but the kids in his class that were the shadowed kids, they grasped the ideas and syntax better than the "normal" kids when they 6th grade reading teacher decided to expose them to , the ILIAD and the ODDYSEY | |
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| Single parents I have a question........
Posted: 10/28/2007 12:59:28 PM | | P-trish.....can I have my head back.......I'm just telling you how it was for my son, each child is different. In fact, my oldest child, a girl has ADD and yes, they are very different situations. She just lost focus, my son however, was the resemblence of a mini tornado.....and as he has gotten older, he knows when he needs to calm down and refocus on whatever task is at hand. | |
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| Single parents I have a question........
Posted: 10/28/2007 1:48:31 PM | P-trish.....can I have my head back<< what do you mean?
all i took from yours was the age thing, and i did include a reference to everyone is different. as well i indicated some experiences with my own son as you did with yours. i will admit that sometimes i come off bluntly and as a self proclaimed authority. but i know what i know and i go at nothing blindly. hopefully my experience makes someone elses experienc a little easier to take.
the rest of it, and i will agree it was extensive, was information that i have gathered from my experience. hopefully it will help even just one person who is facing this dilema. i remember feeling somewhat overwhelmed, and daunted when i first got "the news". the odd thing to me was that he wasnt really exhibiting any of this at home that i had seen in his class and had reported to me from his teachers.
so given the person i am, and im about solutions. i went on a hunt for all sorts of information dealing with normal attention/behavioral development.
my intent here was to pass some of that along in hopes that perhaps it would help someone. | |
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| Single parents I have a question........
Posted: 10/28/2007 3:04:28 PM | First of all-you are asking people who are not necessarily experts on behavior issues in children. You should be asking your MD these questions. The medication he is on may just need to be adjusted a bit.
Second-you have rights as a parent. The school does NOT choose where your child ends up, and a specialized class may do more damage than it does good.
Third-I am a teacher, and have seen children placed in classes that you are speaking of. First, request a meeting with the SST team-principal, teacher, you, and teacher reps-and then create some goals for your child. The school can not just make this suggestion and throw him in a class without your persmission. Next, Have some ideas of what you want to try before you attend the meeting: outside counseling, rewards/consequences for good behavior and for complete assignments..etc. This is YOUR child, and YOU get to make the decisions. Last, stick to your guns. If you are uncomfortable with something the school is suggesting, say so! Speak up and be your child's advocate!
Remember, all people are going to have an opinion on the public school system, the teachers, your child, and you...but you know your kids best.
Good luck!! | |
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| Single parents I have a question........
Posted: 10/28/2007 3:55:33 PM | | out of all these post mizjann has hit is on the head...bubba i know how you feel i have a child who according to her mom has austim and ADHD....frist austim i can see becouse of how things she does sit with the austim adults that i work with. i work with special needs childern and adults in special olmpycs and what not. My brother is a special needs adult so it is out there...but growing up with my brother i saw how meds soemtimes made him seem like a zombie and as well set different problems with his body...he went from being a lean well formed young man working on the farm every day to overweight pimpied face person who could brealy get out of bed...sooo i dont know what eles to say BUT keep up working with the child and work with your teachers see if you can watch your child in cleass or see if it can be video taped....so good luck bubba | |
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| Single parents I have a question........
Posted: 10/30/2007 9:30:52 AM | wow, icedragons,, um,, the spelling dude,, attrocious and difficult to read thru. but beyond that, autism is a very real and very identifiable thru medical testing, disorder of the brain. given you are 24 and you didnt say if your brother was older or younger, i can only speculate that he is near to your age. even if that isnt the case, and coupled with the dx of ADD/ADHD, you are talking about some specific learning disorders whos pharmecutical treatments vary.
heres one thing ppl miss about phycotropic meds., they are very difficult most times to find which one or ones work, and how much do you need to reach a thearaputic level and keep that level. these meds are prescribed by weight of the pt. its a very specific thing to get the right combination for the best result. very very few doctors in the field of behavioral medicine are able to prescribe to that accuracy. so we have under medicated and overmedicated pt's.. and with a growing child it becomes even more difficult because of the weight fluctuation.
plus, when your brother was growing up, there were fewer and different pharmecutical options available to even prescribed and some of them were pretty harsh. there were and always will be docs who just presribe to dope up. its their notion of "managing".
we now know more about autism than ever before. there are many children who thrive thru intervention and learning programs with less and less drugs than ever before. As well, there are less and less docs who prescribed meds in that "managing" ideology.
the parents have to be the most vocal and influencial advocates for the child. its paramount.
Since there is a family history of autism, i wouldnt discount so easily your daughters possible autism and add/adhd. you said "according to her mom", does this include an actual diagnosis from a doctor? with autism, the earliest intervention is the best for the child. with add/adhd,, it would be difficult to assertain until late 3rd grade unless we are talking extreme outbursts etc.
bottom line,, get her tested for autism. while thats going on, get yourself educated on how best to help your daughter. living in denial because of what you saw with your brother wont help her, it will just make matters worse. | |
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| Single parents I have a question........
Posted: 10/30/2007 1:04:23 PM | wot a pile of tosh!!! I'm sorry if i'm blowing my own trumpet here, but compare me (a single parent) with all of my attached friends, and my kid is the best behaved, he knows his boundaries and is full of respect, their kids are total nitemares, one of my male best mates even actually swallowed his pride one nite and admitted that he and his wife has totally screwed up when it comes to raising kids!! he says I have the advantage of not having any of the bouncing parents off each other, no conflicting disipline rules etc!!
I have heard of a similar class when another mate was trying to get her son to settle at school, I just told her she had to accept what i was telling her and stop the kid from ruling the roost, showed her some techniques and eventually the school backed down ssaying that he didnt need the classes!!
i also believe that very often teachers just simply can't be bothered anymore and find other reasons for the fact that they don't know how to control a class!!! my son does have a concentration problem, and if I could afford it, i would ave sent him for tai kwondo lessons, they teach focus and self-disipline etc, but i can't, so i have to work hard at encouraging my son to stay focused, mostly it consists of me telling the teacher how to get him to focus!!! which they never like, but realise it works!! and quite frankly, if theres a kid next to him constantly trying to talk to him, he';s gonna get distracted, accept he always gets the blame!!
really, I would need to know more about your child in order to give better hints at how to get a grip with this, there could be any reason for this:
in my case, I noticed that my son was and still is mirroring everything I used to do in class at his age - 2 years ago I found out that i am severely dyslexic and have irlen sydrome (cant read black on white without the words dancing around). so, since finding out my problem, I have insisted that my son keeps getting tested, and 3 tests later and the signs are starting to show, he has dyslexic tendancies, now that my son knows he's not stupid, he's really starting to knuckle on down, he knows that if i can get thru univeristy (3rd yr psychology) then he can get thru school!! Its always been clear thats he's clever, he just cant get it down in writing and then he ends up getting bored in class and then the spiral begins"!!!!!! | |
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| Single parents I have a question........
Posted: 10/30/2007 1:08:23 PM | ooh PS, my above post is in reply to the OP, not the previous posts .. just wanted to say incase of confusion, I noticed mine looks like its continuing on a converstaion lmao  | |
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| Single parents I have a question........
Posted: 10/30/2007 2:50:47 PM | | hold up one sec p-tish...ok thanks for the imput. Alright i am having her tested for Autsim BUT a factor is that it is hard to test in a three year old. Her doc told me he does not like testing them under the age of five for autsim. As well its not just my brother i have seen on meds. the childern and adults i have seen know most of them most of my life becouse of my mother being there case worker and guarden i know them i have seen some of them have wonderful outcomes on some of the meds just to have them stop a few mths later...others have no such luck for mths or years...it hard.. your right its getting better every day new drugs coming out and better ways to give them out. just my view point...plus as a child my self rasied with ADHD and not taking meds for it i dont think everything has to be med. there are ways to go around it. thats all i am saying if it gets to the point that she need drugs then yes i will make sure she gets them... but that is going to be the last chocie i have...sorry about spelling i am trying to proof read everything but i am bad at spelling...but like i said thanks for the imput p-tish | |
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| Single parents I have a question........
Posted: 10/30/2007 3:20:25 PM | it is a good effort you make on behalf of your daughter. I understand your hesistation, no one wants to have a child who will face difficulty like this. As well i realize your hesitation given your experience with your brother and what you saw thru your mothers work.
while its difficult to test for autism in very young children its not unheard of. there are behavioral and developmental indicators that would toss up red flags of caution. her interactive skills with ppl around her, her speach ability. the rocking back and forth or any similar behavior. there are pediatric specialists who would be comfortable and compitent to test her. you could ask your pediatrician to refer you to a specialist in the field. the earliest diagnosis and intervention is in her best interest. hopefully you will find that she is not autistic.
for many children with add/adhd, pharmecological therapy isnt warranted. for many though, it works wonders, but its not like an antibiotic, you have to continue the dosing so as to maintian a theraputic level. We are seeing now a great number of children who, for lack of a better term, "mature out of" the appearance of add/adhd behavoirs. I think it comes from years of learning how to cope and conform.
good luck to you.
when my son was dx'd with add/adhd, i didnt take that news blindly,. i did enough research to write a dissertation on the subject. As well i have a lot of info on other childhood developmental and learning difficulties. | |
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| Single parents I have a question........
Posted: 10/30/2007 4:04:31 PM | | something to check into is i went to school with a boy we all thought he was slower then the rest but in the end they said oh he has adhd and then when we all got to h.s he was in all advanced classes turned otu the work just wasnt hard enough for him so he got bored and caused truble | |
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| Single parents I have a question........
Posted: 10/30/2007 4:41:21 PM | | My son, now 13, was Diasnosed ADHD, learning disabled in elementary school.... Took several test, him on medication to prove that he was not disruptive, he was bored. Tested out at 127 IQ. It wasnt that he couldn't do the work, why do work when it is boring not chanllenging. The schools are quick to label a child and say they need to be on medication. Don't be afraid to ask lots of questions, look into IDEA written out in 2004 and each school district puts out a pamplet on the child's and your rights as the parent and responsibilities. This the schools don't hand out very often, guess they don't want many to learn what is or isn't available. Good luck.... to learn our rights and place my son in an appropriate class setting it took a lawyer a whole another story. | |
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| Single parents I have a question........
Posted: 10/30/2007 4:53:49 PM | Hey Dave,
My hat goes off to you ... having this kind of a behavior issue is troubling to any parent and of course everyone just wants to do the best for their child... There could be lots of different reasons for his behavior, but don't forget - you and Mom know him best; the professionals can help but trust your gut in the end. I have a child with the developmental disability ADHD and for a couple of years I didn't want to put him on meds - tried everything else in between, but when we finally gave it a try, it was like night and day ... and I'm sure in researching the meds used for this disability you learned that they don't "dope" the child up to change the behavior ... the drug actually STIMULATES a part of the brain to make more of the neurotransmitter that is responsible for self control, pre-though (before action), impulsivity, etc. It is NOT a tranquilizer or any kind of mood affector. Kids with this disorder have an unbalanced brain chemistry - very simple - and they're finding that it is common in families w/ a history of mental illness, bipolar disorder etc., somewhere along the gene pool. Not always but there is a trend in that direction.
My son is now 12 and has been on meds since he was 7 and is at an age where he recognizes that he feels more "in control" of himself, more accepted by his peers b/c he's not in their faces or causing problems in the classroom. When I ask him how he feels about taking the meds and if he notices a difference, he looks me right in the eyes and says "yeah, Mom... I can tell - I like school now." What a feeling of affirmation that I made the right decisions for my son.
Hey - hang in there - it gets easier and you're a great Dad ... doing a GREAT JOB!! | |
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| Single parents I have a question........
Posted: 10/30/2007 6:54:54 PM | each school district puts out a pamplet on the child's and your rights as the parent and responsibilities. This the schools don't hand out very often, guess they don't want many to learn what is or isn't available.
the only kids and parents that the schools are required to give this "rights and responsibilities" pamplet to are the families whos child is qualified as learning disabled.
given the vast pool of information available on the www, its amazing anyone would have to go outside their local resources and the www to get the information needed.
educate yourselves as to normal behavioral and development of a child. then take it from there.
damyell, i am curious where do you live that you would have to bring out the big guns of a lawyer to have your son placed in an appropriate classroom? | |
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| Single parents I have a question........
Posted: 10/30/2007 7:01:27 PM | to those of us who have children who are add/adhd, or have any other learning disability,, your
"""wot a pile of tosh!!!""
is really a "pile of tosh" as you so eloquently put it. to belittle the challenges of learning disabiled persons shows that you have little compassion. further, much of what you have said here leads me to wonder just how much you have actually learned at university in your chosen field of study.
every human on the planet has "dyslexic tendancies" to varying degrees.
dyslexia is an umbrella term. | |
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| Single parents I have a question........
Posted: 10/30/2007 7:07:02 PM | | ArtsyRN, Girl you just described my son and my situation to a T. YES, YES, night and day difference. A difference you notice instantly. My son is 15 years old and he has been on medication for 9-10 years and he can definitely tell a difference. To Dave, your child may be different than mine and all of the others. Diagnosis of a learning disablity etc is like trying on a pair of shoes, what will fit others doesn't exactly fit yours. Good Luck to you. | |
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| Single parents I have a question........
Posted: 5/12/2008 1:38:56 PM | Just checking in to see how things have turned out. Was hoping to see an update.
I see I missed a message directed toward me. Kenai Peninsula School District is who I had to go up against. Took 3 months of asking before anyone would even listen and give me the booklet for my rights and responsiblities. | |
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| Single parents I have a question........
Posted: 5/12/2008 3:31:05 PM | He is in 8th grade, which puts him at about what...13/14 yrs old? His hormones are in an outrage, he is bored in school, and has a high activity level and their solution is "behavior management".
I went through this with my daughter when she was in 3rd grade. Every day I was spending 3-4hrs with her doing all the work she should have done in school. I got numerous notes home from school. The last straw was when I went in for a parent teacher conference and the teacher said "She got up 10 times in a half hour today to sharpen her pencil".
I asked the teacher...."Who is the adult and supposed to be in charge in the classroom, her or you?" I gave the teacher permission to threaten her with MOM, but the teacher refused. So, I pulled her out and homeschooled her from the rest of 3rd until 9th grade. I wanted to continue to, but she is mature and asked to be back in public school for high school.
I have also pulled both boys out and homeschooled them. The only reason that they are back in public school is because of my pending divorce. I had to go back to work.
I would have an evaluation done privately, through your own doctor. Do not rely on the school evaluators to have the best interests of your son in their sights. They just want quiet classrooms.
Good luck! | |
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| Single parents I have a question........
Posted: 5/12/2008 5:45:52 PM | yes, my son was diagnosed AD/HD many years ago, but I think sometimes the teachers would like all the kids to be drugged, so then they'd have a sedate, quiet learning enviroment. Sorry, just my opinion there.
Turns out my son is AD/HD but he also has turrets, so the AD/HD med's were only making for more screwing around in classes. The meds actually make tic's worse in these kids.
Well that's just my kid.. they all are different.
Good Luck and be patient with your son! | |
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| Single parents I have a question........
Posted: 5/12/2008 7:33:41 PM | Crash1967....................... Children are not just randomly picked and druged. You are talking such oldschool. 50 yrs ago they were giving people to much medication for ADHD because they were just learing about it.
Today it is given in very very low doses. They dont want the kids sleeping and stund. There are many many children out there that medication is helping. You obvisually have not studied this and are not schooled in what your saying.
Yes it is hard to put your children on medication but if it is needed then it is worse not to put them on it. With people that suffer ADHD it is a chemical disorder just like diabetics. In diabetics the body is not producing insulin so they are given insulin to stablize there sugar in the body. That is how medication for ADHD works it stablizes the chemicles in the brain.
I feel bad for the kids, when they are not medicated they know what they are doing is not exceptable but for the most part there brain is going so fast that they have done things before they realize it. It is called impulse that is one of the symptoms of ADHD. They are not acting out due to the need fro attention. They are trying to keep up with their brain speed. Try to imagine being in there shoes.
By the sounds of it this young man if he is jumping on people on a regular basis the medication can be a big help for that.
I say give the medication a real good try, and once you see he is on a dosage that is working for him dont be ashamed that he needs the medication. It does not mean that he is stupid or not smart. The chemicals are just not being produced properly. Most ADHD kids I have found are actually quite intelegent.  | |
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| Single parents I have a question........
Posted: 5/12/2008 7:46:19 PM | | I have been reading a lot of the posts that say that the schools are labelling the kids so they can have quiet classrooms. I know here in Ontario where I live and the school board here they fight not to have the kids tested. This is because once they are tested and if the results come back that there is extra help needed or anything extra needed they run from that because................... Once the child is diagonses with anything it is up to that school board to do every thing it takes to make sure that that child stays at what ever grade level they are in. So if they are in grade 6 then the school has to pay for anything that child needs to maintain a grade 6 level regardless of the cost. Other than medicaitons. So if they find that a particular requires a one on one assistant to the teacher it is at the cost of that board. Therefore thy work at not having the children diagnosed with anything. I realize that there are a lot of posts here of peoples experiences and yes i agree some mistakes have been made, but for the amount that have been made to the amount that actually need the help is a small number. Back years ago 20 - 30 the kids were not diagnosed they were labled the "BAD KIDS" or STUPID because their brains were going to fast to grasp what was being taught or unable to sit still. Doesnt sound fair does it. When actually they just needed some help. I know many that fell under the "BAD KID" lable. Even the Class Clown. | |
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| Single parents I have a question........
Posted: 5/12/2008 8:06:28 PM | My little munchkin was 'recommended' to take a class once a week for 8 weeks because he was acting out and couldn't sit still in class [he is in the 2nd grade]. His teacher basically insisted that I have him medicated [over my dead body] and that he has ADD or ADHA  He doesn't have either and i sure as h*** won't have him medicated, he is just a little boy with a LOT of energy and he is an only child. I spoke with my daycare provider and if anyone is 'trained' to know the signs of those it would be my daycare, and the said he is 'normal' for him. He has been going there for over 3 years, so they know him well.
I agree with you it's VERY irratating; but, I look at it this way, its a cop out as far as the schools and teachers go. They get the kids drugged and basically atomitons and they say they are 'better' in reality they are just trying to drug our kids and steal their childhood away from them. The other single parents from my son's class have told em the same thing, unless your child is docile and doesn't show a lot of energy or spirit something MUST be wrong. I have spoken with my son and he has calmed down in calss, but, he is STILL a little boy and if he didn't have energy, I would worried. | |
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| Single parents I have a question........
Posted: 5/12/2008 8:48:00 PM | Hello! I was just wondering if you have ever had him evaluated for Bipolar disorder or anything like that? I have a nephew that has this condition and has not been on meds in a while. When he was little he had to be medicated just to sleep. He was home schooled for a while and is very smart. Now he is back in public schools and is doing well. He had to learn what his triggers are and learn to avoid them. The teachers had to learn to let him help himself as well. It is worth a shot I think. Not all disorders have to be medicated but some have to until the kids can learn to make better choices and learn self-control.
Also really pay attention to what he eats and drinks. Some foods are triggers for ADHD. Sugar and caffine are two big ones to avoid with this condition. Also ADHD kids do better with a set schedule as far as their daily routines are concerned. I have a neighbor who has a son sho is ADHD and he would rather stay here than at home due to my family being so predictable...otherwise known as "boring"! :0) I would ask what type of behavior disorder they think he has and also see what other children he will be around in the BD class. It might do more harm than good if he is in a class where he learns new behaviors that are not appropriate.
One last thing. If you do home school him please consider having a way for him to associate with other children his age. My poor nephew was away from a lot of his peers for a while and socially was like a duck out of water when he returned to school.
I will keep you both in my prayers... | |
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| Single parents I have a question........
Posted: 5/12/2008 8:52:58 PM | My son is 6 and he is ADHD. Yes he is on medication. With the medication he is not docile, or comatose. He still runs and plays, he still antaganized the crap out of his older brother. He still rides his bike and likes to try new adventures. What the medication has done has given him the ability to sit for more than 5 minutes. To be able to listen to a story being read with out jumping on the person beside him. One of the major symptom with ADHD is impulsivness. Does things boom out of the blue like jumping on the little kid next to him. Or running up to Suzie and pulling her pony.
I do dreded the idea of medication, I to thought he was just a very active child. Yes it is true he was, and he still is. The medication gives him a balance. He was over the top with active. These children can multi task very very well. My son can be making a car out of K-Necks and listen to every conversation in the room and give input.
Since he has been on medication acidemically he has come leaps and bounds. He has gone from not being able to sit at the desk long enough to learn his letters to being one of the best readers in his class. So Please dont be so quick to judge the school system or the doctors for giving medication. If not for medication my son would be in a school for children that just cant learn in general society.
For you parents that totally refuse to give your child medication I think you need to learn a little about ADHD before you start bashing medication. How will you feel when yrs down the road when your child just cant cut it acdemically in high school that they are actually ADHD and need medication . The torture that they had been through all those years. I can hear some of you now ohhhh not my child. Well if you research enough you will find that it is truly chemicals that there brain is not producing. The doctors or teachers really dont want a bunch of zombies around. | |
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| Single parents I have a question........
Posted: 5/12/2008 8:58:33 PM | kd smiles great advise.
when a child is medicated they are not given large doses. When the first came out with ritilen they were giving 20 - 50 mg to start. that was putting kids out. Today they never give kids over 20 mg. And yes there may be the exception. My son in on 10 mg. He is given 3 pills a day and when it is wearing off you know it, and he comes and asks for his pill. He knows it is better for him. He can think better, he feels calmer.
A regular schedul is exactly what they need. | |
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