| Why do you think men don't cry?
Posted: 10/27/2007 11:00:41 AM | | Men cry, maybe not tears all the time...but society has made it so they feel they must hide it...I don't mind a man crying, infact I find it rather a turn on...not being mean, just that I see emotions as the biggest turn on for me...now if he cries over spilled milk, that is a bit too much...but to tell the truth...I like a man that is able to let it all out and still be very much a man... | |
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| Why do you think men don't cry?
Posted: 10/27/2007 11:15:03 AM |
Most of us learn from WOMEN that we will be labelled 'Wuss' if we do not display 'manly' attributes.
Men can cry AND display 'manly' attributes! And men can refuse to cry and yet not display a lot of 'manly' attributes. It is probably not just the crying that would lead most women to label a man a 'wuss'. | |
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| Why do you think men don't cry?
Posted: 10/27/2007 11:18:03 AM | | everybody cries at some point, only psychopaths dont. crying in front of people is shown as weakness, girls like strength in a man. thus, the man does not cry in front of women if he can help it. me personally, i cry in front of the woman on the first date just to see if shes a keeper. | |
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| Why do you think men don't cry?
Posted: 10/27/2007 11:30:59 AM | vegastout wrote:
i cry in front of the woman on the first date just to see if shes a keeper.
That's a good one. 
I once dated a woman who just could not seem to get over her father's death of a few years earlier. At the time the father of a mutual friend of ours who had actually got us together had just died. All of this brought home to me my own father's death many years before when I was just 18 and its tragic circumstances in my life. In the telling of it to her I did choke up and shed some tears. The circumstances and situation of my display of emotion was totally appropriate. The next day I got the "let's just be friends" speech (does anybody not think that women teach men to question if they should cry?) Perhaps I could have saved a lot of time and effort by crying on the first date. | |
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| Why do you think men don't cry?
Posted: 10/27/2007 11:43:22 AM | Men cry all the time, just a matter of when, where, and why.....
Your heritage, upbringing and social setting can determine the whole "crying" issue and what is deemed to be strong, manly, accepted and allowed.
I was taught that "real men" do cry, but in private, alone and away from all, but then again, it is the same with many things that were part of my heritage and background, like pain, heartache, fear, anger, on and on.
Life, and background taught me to grieve in private, shed a tear but never cry in public, face pain and problems, as if you know why it is happening, and have the strength to handle it, and to solve whatever happens in your life.
The same approach was there for sports and for all those that understand, even when hit by a pitch, you ran down to first base and never let the pitcher see you rub it.....
Just my opinion.......   | |
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| Why do you think men don't cry?
Posted: 10/27/2007 12:36:01 PM | A man taught me....
"The absence of tears does not mean a man doesn't cry."
Men tend to be close mouthed about their emotions, but, I love a man
that willingly and openly expresses his emotions. He then has a better
has a better of understanding of mine.
I tend to believe, more often that not, with men it is their upbringing.
For a woman, I believe crying covers different emotions. Joy and sadness. | |
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| Why do you think men don't cry?
Posted: 10/27/2007 2:51:15 PM | Among social animals, almost all have sex in public and eat their food in private. Humans do these things the other way around.
Crying seems to be split according to sex - women in public, men in private. Weird. | |
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| Why do you think men don't cry?
Posted: 10/27/2007 3:23:34 PM | I dunno, when I was at the vet's office back in Feb, having my cat put to sleep (cancer), and he was struggling just to get into my lap and curl up and die cuddled up on me... you can bet your butt I was crying (yes, in front of the Vet and the Tech), petting him gently as he slowly "fell asleep" and died.
Then again, no, I'm not gonna cry because my boss pissed me off or something... sorry, tomorrow is another day, I'll suck it up and find another job if its that bad.
My last GF dumped *me*, and "cried for a week after" (?)... I felt sad, yeah, I didn't want it to end, but she didn't want to talk about it and try to work it out. It wasn't something to cry over, just put me back in the stream  | |
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| Why do you think men don't cry?
Posted: 10/28/2007 3:01:29 PM | "many of use learn from women"
True...immature ignorant women...Go after the healthy ones who support your crying, not those who have issues over it..You men have choices over who you choose to date and be with..I see alot of men choose insecure but gorgeous Barbie dolls who would berate them when they cry but the men figure its worth it because shes such a looker...Well, you reapt what you sow as well..Just dont assume all women are that ignorant and stupid | |
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| Why do you think men don't cry?
Posted: 10/28/2007 3:03:31 PM | "Women cry in public"
I dont and never have....I do my crying privately....Neither have any other women Ive known and been close too displayed open crying...Unless it was at aa funeral....Women cry privately much more frequently, just like men do | |
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| Why do you think men don't cry?
Posted: 10/28/2007 3:15:41 PM | I never really analized as to why but one thing i will always remember... I had a family member that died while i was in a relationship. And when my gf saw me cry after i got the news over the phone... she rolled her eyes like "get over it.. stop being a sissy. men aren't supposed to cry"
she got dumped in 3 seconds and was lucky i didn't slap her in the head for such a rude and inappropriate comment.
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| Why do you think men don't cry?
Posted: 10/28/2007 3:27:33 PM | We do, just not nearly as often or publicly as most women do.
Women and men are different types of human beings; people need to face that reality. Men will not be like women and women will not be like men. Frankly, I find that to be a good thing.
Because we don't cry doesnt mean we are unemotional, distant, cold or any other adjective that some people want to apply to us. It just means we register pain and hurt in other ways; whether due to how we are raised by our parents or what we see and hear in society. There are many women who automatically assume that if you don't cry, you're unemotional and that's really not the case with the majority of us. Of course we have emotions; we just keep them in check and deal with them in whatever way we know best. Just because it's not the way that a woman reacts to the same situation, doesn't mean that ultimately we aren't feeling the same thing. | |
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| Why do you think men don't cry?
Posted: 10/28/2007 4:07:33 PM | It's funny... I WISH I could cry more easily and freely! Over my OWN losses, I mean... I have no problem crying at movies--that's someone else's stuff.
(The basic question's been answered: It's conditioning and shame.) | |
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Savona
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Joined: 1/28/2007
Msg: 114 | |
| Why do you think men don't cry?
Posted: 10/28/2007 5:51:46 PM | Men don't cry???
My daughter's wedding 3 weeks ago.
Ushers = bride's 2 brothers, grooms 3 brothers, grooms 4 friends
Fathers = 2
Kleenex = 100 extra soft and absorbent supplied by the women
Savona | |
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| Why do you think men don't cry?
Posted: 10/28/2007 8:34:33 PM | Men cry. But some also become real introspective or lose themselves in an activity to bury feelings. My long gone ex would rather get angry and punch a wall than cry although when our cat Pepe died I saw a side of him I didn't get to see often.
Crying isn't a weakness its a humanness. But the culture than many are raised in views it as a weakness.
Sherry | |
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| Why do you think men don't cry?
Posted: 10/28/2007 8:42:50 PM | I've cried at funerals. I teared up when my ex walked down the aisle towards me in the church at our wedding. I cried as I held my dog, my best friend when as he was being put him down. That being said, I'm not going to cry at a movie, upon reading a story, or over a song or something. There is a time and a place.
No one wants a crybaby. There's a time to man up, but there is also a time to let it go.
My dad, I have NEVER seen cry. Ever. He has always been the rock, the foundation. He's old school. Never cried when his parents passed, other releatives. I've NEVER seen him shed a tear. But he's never EVER said anything like "men don't cry" or whatever. I don't know what he does in private if he had his time or what. | |
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| Why do you think men don't cry?
Posted: 10/28/2007 9:38:49 PM | I cry too much. Not really crying I guess tho but I get teary-eyed whenever some powerful emotional moment occurs, which is usually during a movie. Its pretty pathetic really. *shame*
Why do so many guys hide their feelings? Lotsa reasons. We don't like to show weakness. We don't want our feelings used against us in the next argument. And (my personal favorite) sometimes we're not actually hiding our feelings....we just don't give a sh*t. | |
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| Why do you think men don't cry?
Posted: 10/29/2007 6:55:04 AM | Savona wrote:
Men don't cry???
My daughter's wedding 3 weeks ago.
Ushers = bride's 2 brothers, grooms 3 brothers, grooms 4 friends
Fathers = 2
Kleenex = 100 extra soft and absorbent supplied by the women
My daughter is only 16, but I can guarantee that my tears will flow freely at her wedding. As a guy I have enough empathy that even another man crying for something which affects him will move me to tears also. I can remember being in the waiting room when my daughter was born and this young father came into the room to tell his mother that his child was born and he was crying because he had been so afraid that his wife was going to die. Every single one of us in that room was crying too because it was so emotionally moving.
TheReason wrote:
I cried as I held my dog, my best friend when as he was being put him down. That being said, I'm not going to cry at a movie, upon reading a story, or over a song or something. There is a time and a place.
I cried when I had my pets put down, both dogs and cats. I had one cat that I had found when she was 3 days old and I had to have her put to sleep when she was almost 20. I had to stop my car on the way to the vet to get cried out so I was ready when it happened. I was ok when he put the needle in the first time, but he couldn't find a vein. Same thing the second time. By the third time the tears were running down my cheeks.
This was a very enlightened vet clinic and they would send sympathy cards to their clients who had their pets put to sleep.
I decide what is the time and place for me to cry (don't we all?). My crying is most often silent and simply tearing up or tears running down my cheeks, not sobbing or boo-hooing. There are times and places where I might hold back the tears, the same with smiling or laughing, but nearly all the time if something is funny to me I will smile or laugh and not question whether I should do it or not (if something is really funny don't all of us have trouble stifling at least a smile?). The same thing with crying.
I will cry at a movie if it is a sad moment, or a very happy moment, or even a patriotically moving moment and only the person next to me would be aware and only if they were looking at me. If I'm home alone, what difference would it make? My dog is not going to look at me and think, "What a wuss!" | |
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| Why do you think men don't cry?
Posted: 10/29/2007 8:13:53 AM | I hate to see a man cry....
To see a MAN cry makes me sob uncontrollably because we all see men as the "strong ones the rocks" and when all the wall come down and they just shed tears...its heartbreaking.....
Tori | |
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| Why do you think men don't cry?
Posted: 10/29/2007 8:31:36 AM | I'm still kind of amazed that posts like these survive. The OP says, "I have never once seen that man [emphasis added] cry." So, given one data point, the OP makes a bold assertion: "Why do men hide their feelings."
Okay, I'll assert something stupid, too, based solely on your claim: "Why are women incompetent at basic statistics?" Um hmmm...equivalently stupid, I agree.
And for your tons of male friends, they are idiotically biased and ill-informed. | |
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| Why do you think men don't cry?
Posted: 10/29/2007 10:15:52 AM | They do cry they just may not let you see them. Men get a bad rap as being these " Macho" emotionless beings. They have feelings just like we do and because of society they think a man always has to be strong and hold his emotions in. They do feel and they do hurt just like we do.
I embrace a man that can show his emotions on all levels and think he is more of a man to be able to show this side of him. | |
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| Why do you think men don't cry?
Posted: 10/29/2007 10:19:32 AM | We do have feelings. They're just irrelevant. Just like our aspirations and dreams.
We're meant to live for everyone else, and any ties we might have or affections are to be considered expendable. Like our bodies. | |
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