| If you truly loved your g/f would you dump her for not putting out?
Posted: 10/27/2007 7:17:16 PM | | how old is she? that kind of stuff might be acceptable in junior highschool or something but as adults that sounds a little rediculas. sex is an important part of a romantic relationship. her unwillingness to have sex sounds like she really doesnt care about the relationship, and that guy needs to let her know this. | |
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| If you truly loved your g/f would you dump her for not putting out?
Posted: 10/27/2007 7:21:08 PM | OP
IMO the guy sounds like the average dork guy out there. He wants to just sleep with her and then he will end up dumping her. She is not giving him sex so he is whining about it. Personally I would leave a girlfriend if she wanted sex before marriage period. I have said this before and my thoughts are this. If a woman wants to know if a guy truly loves her, then make him wait until marriage for sex. If he whines and can't handle that, then he was just after her body for sex period and she is better off without him. Too many woman always do the same thing. They sleep with a guy and then they get dumped. Learn from that and don't give into sex period. | |
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| If you truly loved your g/f would you dump her for not putting out?
Posted: 10/27/2007 10:19:37 PM | Absolutley not. I actaully made my ex girlfriend wait for about 6 months before having sex. Believe it or not, it made her want me more.
If she would have dumped me for that, I would have felt horrible.
If I guy does that to you, then you know all he wants is sex. That makes it easy for you to know that, that is not the right guy for you. | |
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| If you truly loved your g/f would you dump her for not putting out?
Posted: 10/27/2007 10:42:41 PM | | Well for starters i would never fall in love with any woman unless i made love to her before i fell in love with her....But, if and when i fell in love with her, if she stops sex, i am gone!!! Sure i would need a week to get over her and sit around and cry and look at faded photographs, but next week i would look for a sexual woman that uses what nature gave her.Sex is too much of a pleasurable part of life to throw away because some one else has gone insane.....Earl | |
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| If you truly loved your g/f would you dump her for not putting out?
Posted: 11/4/2007 3:13:50 AM |
If a woman wants to know if a guy truly loves her, then make him wait until marriage for sex. If he whines and can't handle that, then he was just after her body for sex period and she is better off without him
Whilst I respect your right to want to wait until sex before marriage, you can't just make crazy judgemental and incorrect statements about others like that. Heaven forbid someone might take it seriously!
Back on topic:
Sex is not a holy grail and 'reward' for behaving respectfully. It's an integral part of a healthy and balanced relationship. Most genuine guys will be happy to wait, but after 4 months she either trusts and loves him enough to do it or else there are issues to work through (assuming of course she has no religious or medical objections) and these need to be addressed immediately. Nobody can afford to spend such a large chunk of their lives on someone who isn't compatible with them. Life is too short, all our time is valuable. | |
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| If you truly loved your g/f would you dump her for not putting out?
Posted: 11/4/2007 8:10:11 AM | If a woman wants to know if a guy truly loves her, then make him wait until marriage for sex. If he whines and can't handle that, then he was just after her body for sex period and she is better off without him. Too many woman always do the same thing. They sleep with a guy and then they get dumped. Learn from that and don't give into sex period.
Horrible advice. Any girl that "tests" me is gone.
Sex is not a holy grail and 'reward' for behaving respectfully. It's an integral part of a healthy and balanced relationship. Most genuine guys will be happy to wait, but after 4 months she either trusts and loves him enough to do it or else there are issues to work through (assuming of course she has no religious or medical objections) and these need to be addressed immediately. Nobody can afford to spend such a large chunk of their lives on someone who isn't compatible with them. Life is too short, all our time is valuable.
Great advice, except I disagree with the "Most genuine guys will be happy to wait" part. | |
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| If you truly loved your g/f would you dump her for not putting out?
Posted: 11/4/2007 9:12:57 AM | to answer your question... yes...if there's no hanky panky by 4 months I'll assume she's asexual and the long term relationship could be pretty dry
to add a few comments:
she's probably very young and inexperienced and should not be looking for a relationship.
she has every right to wait but needs to find a compatible guy, these two are not made for each other. | |
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| If you truly loved your g/f would you dump her for not putting out?
Posted: 11/4/2007 9:36:33 AM | Most guys would be gone, and I wouldn't blame them one bit. Waiting a month, maybe two is understandable. Waiting four months raises all kinds of red flags.
Sex is one of the most important parts of a meaningful and sustainable romantic relationship.
Sure, you can love your parents, children and friends and not sleep with them. On the other hand, you're not exactly "dating" them or planning to marry them are you?
Unless she had a specific objection (religious -- I want to wait for marriage, psychological -- I was abused and intimacy causes me to relive trauma, or medical -- due to injury/surgery/disease I am incapable of sex without pain), then what she's really saying by refusing sex is one of the following:
1) I know you after 4 months, but I don't trust you with my feelings or my body. I don't know when I'll trust you, if ever, due to my fear of hurt and betrayal. Enjoy your celibacy.
2) I like sex, but I only have sex with people I love. I don't really love you, and I'm reserving myself for someone that I do love. I enjoy your company, but you don't mean that much to me and I don't have the integrity to tell you the truth.
3) I like sex, but I find you completely unattractive sexually. I enjoy the attention and company you provide, but I know that if I told you the truth you may have some self-respect and want to find a partner who finds you attractive.
4) I really dislike sex, and thus am trying to avoid sex. I should probably tell you, but I am worried that you will find a non-sexual relationship unattractive, thus I will string you along with promises of "the potential for sex" and hope that will be enough.
Unless she has some really good reasons, exit, stage left. | |
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| If you truly loved your g/f would you dump her for not putting out?
Posted: 11/4/2007 9:50:48 AM | Hm... from my point of view... the woman is teasing him and ignoring his needs. Its total crap how shes treating him. Men are different from women, men generally have higher sex drives -- they can't help it. And shes not helping the matter by getting him worked up with no happy ending.
If a man constantly did this to me.. it'd be over. I can't tolerate that.
The girl needs to stop being such a prude. | |
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| If you truly loved your g/f would you dump her for not putting out?
Posted: 11/4/2007 10:12:25 AM | i hate guys that "expect" head and shit, adn thats why we test them, guy most guys are jerks wait till they get in our ands (or mouths) then are gon eto find the next one to hurt...they dont get it..so the onyl way to know if theyre really real is to test them..i knowim started to test my guys, cuz every single one i get is an ***hole | |
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| If you truly loved your g/f would you dump her for not putting out?
Posted: 11/4/2007 12:05:22 PM | most guys are jerks wait till they get in our ands (or mouths) then are gon eto find the next one to hurt
So you've been with most guys then? Because if not, I can't imagine why anyone would make such a blatantly ignorant statement =).
every single one i get is an ***hole
you are the only constant in that equation  .
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| If you truly loved your g/f would you dump her for not putting out?
Posted: 11/4/2007 2:03:07 PM | OP, you're 40, so I'm guessing your sister is an adult. If she is, there is no reason for this BS.
If she doesn't want to have sex with him, that's fine. But she needs to start acting like and adult. She needs to tell him what she wants, why she is waiting, and what she's thinking.
Your sister is the one playing the games. Yes, I would dump her. Not because she hasn't put out, but because she's being disrespectful to the man she claims to love. | |
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| If you truly loved your g/f would you dump her for not putting out?
Posted: 12/14/2007 1:03:46 PM | Sorry for reviving an old thread...
Suppose in that situation the woman gives him head, basically does everything except have sex with him (getting naked, cuddling, oral, etc), would you guys feel any differently? Just curious because someone I know is in a very similar situation... | |
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| If you truly loved your g/f would you dump her for not putting out?
Posted: 12/14/2007 2:03:12 PM | OP~ everyone has hard limits. Everyone.
First off, I don't like the whole "if you really loved me bull$hit" because if SHE truly loved him as man and partner in life~ she'd have crossed these intimacy barrier issues already. Four months is a long time to be tested and "proven". It is more than obvious IMO that she expects way too much. You shouldn't expect more than your willing to give in a relationship. Sorry. Unless it is health related or a case of past sexual abuse issues~ I don't see what the problem is here. | |
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| If you truly loved your g/f would you dump her for not putting out?
Posted: 12/14/2007 3:13:20 PM | This relationship is doomed. Even if she gives it up it's just a matter of time now before he's gone. He won't respect her if she puts out after he gave her the line about if you loved me you would. He may just hang around long enough to notch the gunbelt.
She, on the other hand should be honest with herself because this behavior needs some additional explanation (as previously stated).
If I loved her.......? I would not leave. But I would've had a conversation about it already. If professional help was needed then I would be supportive towards that. But there is something strange about this whole thing. Sounds dysfunctional to me. | |
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