| |
| If you truly loved your g/f would you dump her for not putting out?
Posted: 12/14/2007 3:13:20 PM | This relationship is doomed. Even if she gives it up it's just a matter of time now before he's gone. He won't respect her if she puts out after he gave her the line about if you loved me you would. He may just hang around long enough to notch the gunbelt.
She, on the other hand should be honest with herself because this behavior needs some additional explanation (as previously stated).
If I loved her.......? I would not leave. But I would've had a conversation about it already. If professional help was needed then I would be supportive towards that. But there is something strange about this whole thing. Sounds dysfunctional to me. | |
|
| If you truly loved your g/f would you dump her for not putting out?
Posted: 12/14/2007 3:28:16 PM | | And he is playing games with her? Hah! If your gonna fool around below the bikini line, you'd better be willing to do something pretty soon. Have you ever heard of lover's balls? They aren't exactly pleasant, though there are worse afflictions of pain to suffer from. Stop teasing the poor guy and get to the destination already, or he's outa there and I don't blame him one bit. | |
|
| If you truly loved your g/f would you dump her for not putting out?
Posted: 12/14/2007 3:43:02 PM | How old are these people?
Their age would illicit a different response from me...
If under 21:
She really might not be ready yet...she could still be a virgin. His actions (if she is a virgin or barely not one) are making her distant and ruining the chances he'll ever see sex. He's not being very understanding to her emotional needs...he's more worried about his. He probably will dump her and she'll most likely be better off.
If she's older and has experience:
Men and women see intimacy differently. Women see it as bonding through talking, confiding in each other and feelings of security. For men, it's sex or physical contact. He's not lying. He said he'd be patient and he has been. 4 months is a long time if you see each other often. There's only so much a guy's gonna take of that. After 4 months a girl with any sort of experience should know whether or not she's gonna f*ck. It's that simple. I'd feel disconnected too. And teased, and p!ssed off, and I'd also feel like looking elsewhere. Even if she puts out soon...he'll probably (and should) dump this girl. If he has to wait that friggin' long and work THAT hard for a little sex, how hard is he gonna have to work for anything else he wants? | |
|
| If you truly loved your g/f would you dump her for not putting out?
Posted: 12/14/2007 4:17:52 PM | This is an old thread and I revived it because I wanted to ask guys one question, but seems like everyone only reads the first post, so I'll post my question again...
Suppose in that situation the woman gives him head, basically does everything except have sex with him (getting naked, cuddling, oral, etc), would you guys feel any differently? | |
|
| |
| If you truly loved your g/f would you dump her for not putting out?
Posted: 12/14/2007 6:23:19 PM | If she is not ready for sex, then he should not be pressuring her into it. If I lose feelings for a woman, sex from sun up till sun up will not bring those feelings back. This guy is shooting out a bullsh!t line. Tell her to hurt herself a little and drop him. He is after booty, not love.
I like waiting 3 months, And people call me strange... oh well. | |
|
| If you truly loved your g/f would you dump her for not putting out?
Posted: 12/14/2007 7:01:20 PM | letshookup,
Ouch! This arrangement is definitely heading down the wrong path! You can't keep sex from a man and expect him to be happy about the arrangement or even monogamous. His whole core as man is defined by his sex life and if your sister remains stubbornly persistent about keeping him at bay, sexually, then she's robbing him of his man hood.
If they care for each other and the relationship has been ongoing for sometime now, it's suggested that they make love. After all, this is the primary reason why two people come together in the first place! While it's not expected of her or any other woman to engage in such activity, immediately, its suggested that she do so at some point. Otherwise, their union will fail.
While I can't blame him for feeling disconnected and romantically turned off, at this point I don't believe making love will ignite any romantic feelings between the two either.
Regards | |
|
| If you truly loved your g/f would you dump her for not putting out?
Posted: 12/14/2007 8:03:35 PM | Wow....there is no easy fix solution here....although 4 months is a while..
I think the best way to see if she is ready yet to commit to a sexual relationship is the guy should turn up to her place in a robe and be completely nude underneath.
Have a bow on his w*lly and offer it as a gift to her.....tell her she can have this gift under one condition....they have to ' make love'..
If she accepts the gift....all is cool..
If she doesn't accept it and rebuffs the idea.....
He is obligated to p*ss in her pot plants
^^^^^^^^^^^^Don't take this seriously....Iam just bored | |
|
| |
| If you truly loved your g/f would you dump her for not putting out?
Posted: 12/18/2007 12:27:53 PM |
Suppose in that situation the woman gives him head, basically does everything except have sex with him (getting naked, cuddling, oral, etc), would you guys feel any differently?
I could possibly live with that. Maybe but there would need to be lots of oral, anal or whatever to orgasm because the cuddling and getting naked part just add to the physical frustration if it's not followed-through to completion. | |
|
| If you truly loved your g/f would you dump her for not putting out?
Posted: 12/18/2007 12:33:33 PM | Just answering the OP's query,
If your friend is 40 years old like yourself and STILL making the guy wait after 4 months+ of dating, there is something clearly wrong with that picture if they have been seeing each other regularly and all is going well (and you mentioned she loves him). 
It's one thing when a "teeny-bopper" (age 16-22) wants to wait until she's ready as she's sexually-inexperienced, but presumably a woman that has reached 40 years of age has been on the receiving end of her fair share of love-making, even if it's only from one or two partners... 
So if all is going well, what's the big hold-up? How much more time does she possibly need? I know I come from a less-conservative generation but by your age time is short and you've already lived through your fair share of embarrassments, so what the heck are you STILL afraid of? 
So were I your age (40) and was dating a woman like this, yes I would dump her, as by age 40 I've got better things to do with my time than wait around for someone to shake loose of whatever repressions they're suffering from...  | |
|
| If you truly loved your g/f would you dump her for not putting out?
Posted: 12/18/2007 12:39:05 PM | She's a certified tease who thinks she the best thing out there, tons of those women around. I don't know how the guy put up w/ this for 4 months??
I'm also guessing she's lousy in bed and that's why she wont do anything, so she's just stringing him along. | |
|
| If you truly loved your g/f would you dump her for not putting out?
Posted: 12/18/2007 12:40:23 PM |
He tells her that engaging in foreplay with her and it not ending up in sex is causing him to disconnect from her.
If he's at least getting foreplay (oral) then he should feel lucky.
Some guys don't even get THAT in a relationship and still have to wait for sex.
he's not THAT unlucky. | |
|
| If you truly loved your g/f would you dump her for not putting out?
Posted: 12/18/2007 1:49:02 PM | I am not a virgin (I have 2 kids to boot), but I have changed how I approach sex and relationships. Once upon a time, like in college or grad school age, I would barely have thought twice about an opportunity. Just because I'm not a virgin anymore doesnt mean I should be "easy".
Quite the opposite actually. Now that I have kids, have been hurt badly in relationships, and have my own personal reasons for waiting, I believe waiting is a good idea. If a guy cares, he'll respect her reasons and values. If a guy can't respect that, then SHE should dump HIM. This does not make me or anyone who feels this way a "tease" nor does it mean that every relationship opportunity is going to be doomed. | |
|
| If you truly loved your g/f would you dump her for not putting out?
Posted: 12/18/2007 2:18:22 PM | If your sister didn't really want to engage in sex she should have not led him on with heavy petting!! She has led the guy to believe that they will be "connected" at some point. he must be sooo frustrated. If she has sex with her he may just dump her and if she doesn't have sex with him he might dump her too!! So, she seems to be in a no win situation. You have to ask her does she really love this guy?? If so, why has she not made love with him yet?? In an ideal world we'd like to think a person can wait, but the reality is we each have our personal desires and this guy is voicing his!!! At least he's telling her beforehand and he's not cheating. Talk to your sister and if she's in doubt tell her to walk away before she too hurts him and causes him more anguish. You may be biast in advicing her as it is your sister and you dont want her hurt think of both parties. And remember what happens behind closed doors....you are only hearing her side of things...Hope this gets sorted out before the new year.  | |
|
| If you truly loved your g/f would you dump her for not putting out?
Posted: 12/21/2007 2:11:05 PM | | She's a tease. I had a girl do this to me long ago, and by the time six months had passed she finally gave in and I screwed her hard, but I had developed a real hatred toward her by that point because our relationship was just a source of frustration so I dumped her right after. | |
|
| If you truly loved your g/f would you dump her for not putting out?
Posted: 1/15/2008 6:08:46 PM | I think that's sort of what my first wife told me to get me to marry her . . . (the "if you want any more of this &^%* you'd better put a ring on my finger and sign the papers")
why is it youth is wasted on the young and wisdom only comes with age ? | |
|
| If you truly loved your g/f would you dump her for not putting out?
Posted: 1/15/2008 9:04:20 PM | Funny. I get told a lot by women that they are in no rush for sex. Then I usually have to fight of being raped by the end.
Your sister's man might be growing impatient because some guys feel that heavy petting is foreplay and he gets discouraged / disgruntled when foreplay doesn't lead to sex. Maybe if she didn't get into heavy petting... Getting to a certain point and then not going past is always discouraging and disheartening. | |
|
| |
| If you truly loved your g/f would you dump her for not putting out?
Posted: 1/17/2008 4:04:36 AM | | No,not at all,i view sex as a very close,intense and serious act of love between two people and i wouldnt dump a girl for not wanting to have sex.i have had girls in the past lose interest in me since i wouldnt have sex and that makes you feel cruddy like sex is all you have to offer. | |
|
| |
| If you truly loved your g/f would you dump her for not putting out?
Posted: 1/17/2008 10:29:14 AM | | If I were in love with a woman, had a real strong connection, i can wait for sex. Im 100% OK with waiting till marriage. But that doesn't mean im gonna stick around for 8 years waiting for the woman to be ready, in otherwords it better be serious. I don't think theres much worse then a woman who uses you for some extended time, doesn't "put out" in any way, then dumps you... | |
|
epode
|
Joined: 8/16/2007
Msg: 72 | |
| If you truly loved your g/f would you dump her for not putting out?
Posted: 1/17/2008 9:48:17 PM | A woman who is afraid of sex is not someone to get intimately involved with. If the man here had any common sense, he would realize that the frustration of chasing this wanna-be princess will most likely be a lifelong thing.
Chastity is just fear of commitment with a fresh coat of righteousness. Kick her to the curb and find someone who knows how to have some fun. | |
|
| If you truly loved your g/f would you dump her for not putting out?
Posted: 1/17/2008 10:37:57 PM | Okay, the last comment has led me to play devil's advocate.
As a staunch believer of chivelry and am old-fashioned, I believe in certain situations that waiting is a good thing, as it gives both man and woman to mentally prepare with the circumstances, regrets, and benefits of the relationship. However, that does not limit me to putting a timeline to sex. I usually put myself around the 6 month mark, unless I believe the relationship is really, really starting to coagulate. And while I do not fully justify pre-marital sex, I believe that if it gets to the point that you propose, sex should happen soon after to help cement the feelings you have with one another. If the woman I am dating is younger or roughly the same age as me and/or a virgin and/or her religious background, I may even up this date to 8 months, but assuming that the relationship was still on a platonic level after that with no real progress, I feel it would be best to move on because, even though it might be a wonderful relationship, if it is this difficult to go beyond petting, what else is there in that relaionship?
If, however, she was older (+4 years) and more experienced, and has already has had sex, I honestly cannot see myself waiting that long for her to be "ready" for sex when she already has an advantage over me, I would have to say that 4 months was pushing it, and anything beyond that was probably wasted time. Assuming that she has slept around most likely more times as you have and has experienced the gratification and pleasure of having sex, the excuse of being "unprepared" is most likely a rouse to the guy, seeing how many free meals she can extort out of him. Granted, by now the original poster probably thinks I'm a prick for saying so since this girl is her sister, but that is just my perspective of what I would base the relationship on. Granted, when we are young, we tend to be pig-headed, horny **stards, myself no exception to this, but even we would grow tired of waiting on a potentially false promise. If your sister isn't ready by now and fits the bill on my post, she'd best be telling her boyfried that she took a vow of celibacy. It may end the relationship, but the way things are going, this esentially will happen regardless. | |
|
Home
login 
