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| You know...
Posted: 2/9/2009 1:50:59 PM |
No, because if you fall in love, and he is only using you for sex, he doesn't respect you enough to marry you, or take you out. He is probably embarrassed to be seen with you in public. If you want this sort of abuse, disrespecting yourself enough to do this...you need therapy. You should only be sexually involved with someone who wants to make a committment. Men can use you for sex, without any attachment. Do not let them abuse you like this!
...I read this, and I had to see the profile of the person who wrote it.
I didn't see what I was expecting...but now that I think about it...yeah...I should not be surprised. | |
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| yes or no? Friends with benefits!
Posted: 2/9/2009 1:55:43 PM | I think its all good..
but it rarely is no strings attached..and usually one of the people start to have feelings which can cause a problem. | |
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| yes or no? Friends with benefits!
Posted: 2/9/2009 5:12:11 PM | yes, Yes, YEs, YESS, YESSSSSSSS!!!!!!!
I love my friend with benifits waayyyyy cheaper than a therapist and lots more fun !!!!! | |
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| yes or no? Friends with benefits!
Posted: 2/9/2009 8:44:03 PM | | I think as long as there is a mutual understanding of what is involved, it's a go. If there are conflicting views on it, it's a no go. | |
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| yes or no? Friends with benefits!
Posted: 2/10/2009 5:41:15 AM | | Maybe for some people, not me though. I do not believe in casual sex for myself. Only time I sleep with a man is if I am involved in a relationship with that man. To each to thier own. | |
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| yes or no? Friends with benefits!
Posted: 2/10/2009 6:12:49 AM | | Nothing wrong with it! I just need someone to relax with and luxuriate in each other's presence and am looking for the exact same thing. I think FWB doesn't have to mean PROMISCUOUS--we can be faithful, just not see each other every day, y'know? | |
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| yes or no? Friends with benefits!
Posted: 3/8/2009 11:35:39 AM | | Always had one when I was back in Texas whenever I was single but it always stopped when one of us started dating someone. It's just a good thing to have as long as both of you understand what it is...and what it isn't. I haven't had one up here in MI yet but my opinion is their a good thing if both of you know the limits. | |
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| yes or no? Friends with benefits!
Posted: 3/8/2009 12:04:17 PM | | yes,yes, if 2 people can be honest and handle it. i meet some online after the second date i told the truth of what i was looking for and she was find with. it was the dead of the winter so good dating movies,diner ect and if she needed a favor id be there forher. it lasted 5 months.well 5 years down the road she was married doing a walk a thon and i donated a hundred bucks to her cause,and she told me i was the nicest guy she meet online why ??? i told her the truth,,,,i like that rather than acting like prince charming and telling what a women wants to heir and the hurting her down the road,,,, | |
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| yes or no? Friends with benefits!
Posted: 3/8/2009 12:09:49 PM | | no, just another string that usually ends up too loose. You know, that type that usually ends up hanging themselves. No such thing as meaningless sex. Unless your a robot. | |
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| yes or no? Friends with benefits!
Posted: 3/8/2009 12:20:33 PM | | The key is word is 'friends' . I had an arrangement like this before and it worked...they key was that we were friends and we enjoyed being around each as friends and had common interests. Had we met at a different time in our lives, it probably would have been more. It also ended in friendship and we are still friends today. | |
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| yes or no? Friends with benefits!
Posted: 3/8/2009 1:31:56 PM | I'll pass.... No matter what pretty lil euphemism assigned to it: f*kbuddy/ fwb/ jump-off/ intimate liason/ activity partner/ NSA's/.. all semantics ..It's really just plain ole casual sex with someone whom you don't regard as "relationship material'... yet useful to help ya get your rocks off...and they say romance is dead..
meaningless casual sex is like fast food-
unhealthy
cheap
often makes you feel like crap afterwards
not seeing much of a payoff or "benefits" ...
Call it narcissistic but I see my worth as beyond settling for someones fwb aka cum dumpster.. | |
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| yes or no? Friends with benefits!
Posted: 3/8/2009 7:44:55 PM | | I am the opposite. I was looking for extra-marital affair but became her friend with no sex! Am I stupid! | |
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| yes or no? Friends with benefits!
Posted: 3/12/2009 12:44:42 AM | I don't understand what it's about. The whole idea of great sex is that it's supposed to be exciting, heart-pounding, weak-kneed, mind-bending, and totally delirious. How can that happen if you aren't romantically involved?
If it isn't going to be that, then why not just masturbate? | |
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| yes or no? Friends with benefits!
Posted: 3/14/2009 11:15:10 PM | | Sex is never meaningless regardless of whether there are strings or not. In fact, there are days when I wished I could find a FWB. Anyone want to apply? ;) Must be young, attractive and have a great sense of humour! | |
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| yes or no? Friends with benefits!
Posted: 3/15/2009 1:27:55 AM | | It sure sounds alot better than hooking up with a stranger because you are lonely and horny ... or going forever without sex... waiting for Mr/Miss "wonderful" to come along... | |
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| yes or no? Friends with benefits!
Posted: 3/28/2009 4:40:04 AM | I suppose it can work for a short period of time. But, the reality of it is someone WILL get hurt in the long run. One person will get to emotionally involved and want more.....
FWB=Heart break and eventual friendship loss. Sex is easy to find....real friendship not so much...... | |
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| yes or no? Friends with benefits!
Posted: 3/28/2009 7:58:57 AM | No.....I tried it once for almost two years. I determined that I can't keep my emotions out of it. So my vote is that it is not a good thing for ME. | |
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| yes or no? Friends with benefits!
Posted: 3/28/2009 8:05:34 AM | | Never will I have a friend's with benefits relationship. It's silly to me, I'd rather wait and looking for someone to be serious with in a relationship, not just something here and there. | |
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| yes or no? Friends with benefits!
Posted: 3/28/2009 8:21:01 AM | Friends with benefits is just a man/woman looking for sex....as we all know.
I can't do that and don't ever want that...someone that can actual tells you a lot about that person's character...they don't like you enought to get to know you, but only like you enough to have sex with you...so I would say no to anyone wanting a friend with fringe benefits... | |
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| yes or no? Friends with benefits!
Posted: 4/8/2009 8:06:54 AM | It can be a great thing if you find the right girl. You have to know the boundries of your type of situation and feelings cant get in the way. Have to be fun to hang out with and someone that really knows how to push your buttons in the bedroom, or wherever the sex takes place lol. I had a girl that was like my best friends and the sex just made it a better friendship and since we both knew each other well and were intimate, it made things wild because we could be ourselves ...and after was comfortable because we were friends. Could be a great situation with the right girl! | |
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| yes or no? Friends with benefits!
Posted: 4/8/2009 8:45:53 AM | I thought it was what I was looking for and then I had it and realized it's a rather dry existence (spiritually). Plus, for me, for the sex to be really hot, I gotta have SOME feelings for the person...otherwise, it's just mechanical, technical...good for experimentation, but beyond that...
Plus, even when you're FWBs, you have to determine: How GOOD of friends actually are we? If it's only sex, I'd say that's the equivalent of acquaintences, "fair-weather" friends. | |
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| yes or no? Friends with benefits!
Posted: 4/8/2009 9:25:50 AM | I've been in a couple that lasted years, on and off. It worked very nicely for us both, and we're still great friends, but now without benefits. Neither of us got attached, and were able to let it go when one or the other of us met someone for a "real" relationship. I always valued and emphasized the "friend" part of the phrase.
Now my S.O. and I have a new variant - FWB with other secure Couples (FWBC?). Double the fun and even fewer attachment worries. | |
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| yes or no? Friends with benefits!
Posted: 4/8/2009 10:06:01 AM | FwB CAN work, and DOES have its' place in the gallery of romantic/sexual interaction.
1. there IS friendship or maybe even 'dating' of a sort. It's not about the guy not wanting to be seen in public with the woman. A guy who calls THAT 'friends with benefits' doesn't know his hind end from a hole in the ground.
2.While exclusivity/monogamy is NOT a "given", FwB is NOT about promiscuity or having casual sex with multiple partners. It's not about irresponsible sex.
3. The quality of friendship should be fairly high. Like somebody you could call to bail your ass out of jail. Of course the very BEST friend is one who is sitting IN the cell beside you, saying "Damn! that was FUN!"
4. The understanding is there that this is not the "happily ever after fairy tale". Should 2 people in a FwB involvement find that they HAVE,in spite of themselves, truly fallen for each other, that's a rare GIFT. It should never be an expected outcome.
5. For me personally, a FwB generally got started as a potential relationship but then it quickly became apparent that longterm probably wasn't going to work,as philosophical or value incompatibilities became apparent.
6.Physical attraction is a MUST. Anybody, male or female, who sleeps with someone just because they are handy, without physical attraction and a certain degree of genuine affection, or worse, takes advantage of someone's loneliness or low self esteem, should be thoroughly ashamed of themselves.
Drawbacks, are, as mentioned, the possibility of one partner getting overly attached/invested,or of just plain not being on the same page. Another is that it can be a distraction from, and expenditure of resources ( time,energy, emotions,focus) that could be better used in finding the 'real deal'.
However, if one happens to be in a life transition where it 's just not wise or feasible to be looking for the 'real deal' ,why should a healthy single adult either pass up ANY involvement, resort to some kind of casual sex, or create a "longterm" scenario when they really aren't in a position (mostly I mean EMOTIONAL,but I suppose logistical or financial could apply too)to be doing that?
I'm thinking about people just coming out of a divorce or breakup of a very serious relationship, people who've lost a partner to death, people who are in a transition of employment or relocation.
Friends with benefits is NOT casual sex "hookups" or promiscuity. It's NOT having sex with someone you aren't attracted to, or just because you can. It's not about having sex with someone you wouldn't date or be seen in public with. It's NOT about 2 a.m. "I'm horny" phone calls. A FwB(within reason of course) will come over and jumpstart your car, loan you $10 til payday, give you a hand with a project, share a social or recreational experience with you.
I say FwB is a valid involvement, for grownups who truly know themselves and can compartmentalize, for those who realize that their lives at the moment couldn't grow a genuine and healthy LTR, or those who find that having a reliable and responsible outlet for sexual energy helps them make better decisions about LTR prospects. And who can be honest with their prospective "FwB". It's probably OK if you find that the possible LTR partner just ain't gonna hold up for the long run, but you do enjoy their friendship and having sex with them, as long as you make sure they are "in the loop" and "on the same page" . No fair switching back and forth between LTR and FwB just to keep the "upper hand". Besides friends don't DO "upper hand"...
Cindy O | |
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